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Found 28 results

  1. I don't know why I've got hppd, the symptoms started years after my bad trip. I used to smoke a lot of "spice" when I was a teen, one time I had a really bad trip, strange hallucinations, and a panic attack. Years after, hppd like symptoms occured, like trails, afterimages etc, but I can't find a cause except maybe anxiety.
  2. I've had hppd for a year now and it has completely ruined my life, I'm always either paranoid/depressed and about 5 months after getting hppd I got social anxiety. I have bad visual snow and everything in my vision looks weirdly outlined?! Nobody believes me and my whole life basically feels like a trip? I haven't done any acid but I still smoke weed everyday but it's basically the only thing that keeps me sane lol I have no idea what to do with myself and half of the time I'm thinking whether my life is worth living anymore, anybody else get any of the same shit happen? How long have you guys had it and do you know anyone that's actually fully recovered from this or are we all fucked?
  3. Ive been accidently dosed like 8 tabs of liquid acid, and stupidly continued "tripping," even after that. So I started noticing a static over my vision, and I thought nothing of it at first. It has gotten much worse, and I haven't taken L.S.D in over a month. It especially gets worse if I'm smoking weed, it literally makes me have acid like visuals. Even without weed I get, tracers, halos around light, I get the pattern formation that forms when you take L, everything looks like it's shifting and melting, my anxiety has gotten progressively worse, I get visual snow, and I have pain behind my eyes sometimes, like a pressure almost, I have really bad after images, pretty much on anything bright, or lit up. Today for example I was driving, and looked at a stop sign when I looked down I saw the stop sign in my vision with my eyes open or closed. Does it ever get better, and is does it mean your brain is ruined?
  4. I took hppd about 2 months ago and ever since I’ve been very aware of what I’m seeing. Like at night when I’m in the car driving, I’m not sure if it’s been there before but street lights or any sort of light kinda has a glare to it, like very shiny and has like a glow to it. I’ve noticed that when I look at the moon. There’s another moon next to it but half of the size, like a glare. I suck at explaining but am I getting hppd or is all this normal? I’ve been stressing over This for a while now and I’m going to a psychologist to get checked out. I forgot to mention that I only taken lsd once. I’ve only smoked weed before .
  5. I came to talk to you about my symptoms a little bit. I'm Brazilian, so if I say something wrong, I apologize, but I'm still not fluent in English. About 11 months ago I tried lsd with a friend, after an hour we used weed, and after that I had a very bad trip. Only today I was able to find this forum, because until then I did not even know what I really have. After using lsd, I have never used lsd or weed again. Since then, I have a lot of anxiety, sometimes I feel very depressed, and I really feel some visual effects, such as sensitivity to light, things seem to vibrate a little, and it seems that sometimes I see traces in moving things. What makes me bad is that I can never stop thinking about it all, I try to fight against my own mind not to think about it, but it's very difficult, when I realize it, I'm thinking about it. From what I understand I have hppd, but is it normal for me to think about it constantly? Sometimes I think I'm going to go crazy. This site was very inspiring to me, until then I was very afraid of what happened to me, and not knowing that there are so many other people with the same problem. So, THANK YOU for making me a little calmer. I will accompany you always now, hoping that I will improve. Thank you.
  6. Dear Fellow Hppdler! So iam a hppd newbie , i've had it since this march. so roughly 5 Months. I actually just want to ask you if my symptoms are Hppd, or pre hppd, PTSD or whatever! Symptoms: NO visual snow! NO trailing! NO afterimages! The only Vision related things are: Increase of colour , eg trafficlights But somehow only bright colors do increase^^, weird stuff ^^ Normal colors look normal My vision got worse, like my general eyesight got worse. Then i also got DR , but no DP! Actually only the derealisation bothers me... It got better during the months, but the DR did only slightly decrease. Do you think this is Hppd? Iam not sure about this, i got my hppd from some horrific lsd trip , so may i just have a trip related trauma? and my mind is trying to protect itself from it by going in DR mode? PS: of couse i stopped ALL drug use since then sincerely, J
  7. Hi, I'm new to this forum and have only spent a couple of hours reading through it. I have had mental health problems as long as I remember but it has never been diagnosed. So it's not definite but the family doctor, past psychiatrists, and my school nurse have all thought that I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I believe so too. all of my symptoms make me feel ver depressed and anxious, and like my life is hopeless and I can't live like everyone else. i have used 25i-nbome twice, the first time was fine but the second time I had a very bad trip and I believed that I was dead. its been almost 3 months now and I've been experiencing what seems to be symptoms of hppd. My symptoms are: In dark rooms or when my eyes are closed I see blue or red fractals at the centre of my vision, and I'm mildly lit rooms they travel over the walls, Long lasting after images from bright objects, the worst symptom is that whenever I look at carpets and sometimes other objects they seem to grow this psychedelic pattern into them, seeing this really scares me. I avoid it by not looking at the floor basically but if I do then it will make me really anxious and more prone to my symptoms for the rest of the day. Does anybody else see this? Because I've only ever read about one other person having it. i see slight red lines over my keyboard on my phone screen On plain walls I also see what seems to be like mild static. when I am hungover I also have strong CEV's that basically take me back to the night before or I see a distant screen that shows what seems to be videos of me I still have hope for this going away as a lot of the symptoms are only really there when I think about them. So I was wondering if others think this seems hopeful or not? the fear of my symptoms never going away also scares me a lot and makes things a lot worse. i am basically sober now, I don't even drink caffeine, but I do occasionally drink alcohol which I am trying to stop. I am on a diet and I go to the gym for a couple of hours daily. i can have episodes where I feel a lot better and that it is going to go away, and I can sometimes have whole days when I don't think I see any visual disturbances, but small things like my mood being changed can bring it on again where I feel worried about the hallucinations all the time. i am only 17 so I don't have access to any medication to help yet and it takes a long time to go through the children's mental health service. i was wondering if people think my hppd will fade eventually, and if there is anything else I can do to further my recovery. please don't give comments that are negative or make me feel like I will never be cured because it makes things a lot worse for myself. thank you for any responses given!
  8. I've had what i believe to be HPPD for about 3 years now, after a slew of mushroom trips around age 15. I cant pinpoint exactly when i started showing symptoms because i feel they came on very subtly and gradually, and after 3 long years, seem to still be worsening. I remember the first thing i noticed was a light visual snow or static fuzziness that i could only see at night or in dark places, then slowly it started becoming more noticeable with time. I would start then seeing the visual snow or static fuzziness during the day time, most noticeably when looking at something solid and with minimal detail, like a wall or a cloudless sky. The trend of it getting worse continued, i would start getting progressively stronger tracer vision, beginning with things like car and street lights at night. As before, over a few months these symptoms began to translate over to during the day time. Now its to the point where i get tracers as simply as slowly running my hand past my eyes, and the visual snow is strong like what you see on a television that isn't getting any signal. The visual snow even forms into psychedelic shapes sometimes, spirals and things that look like your phone screen when there is grease on it. This is most often at night and in the morning when i am tired, but is not limited to that. When i close my eyes all i can see are these weird colorful randomly moving shapes and images. If i do something like read a book or read something on my computer, when i close my eyes i just see randomly occurring letters and numbers, and this lasts for 15 minutes or so. Florescent lights make all the symptoms particularly strong, so you can imagine school was quite difficult.There are halos around almost everything i look at, especially letters and numbers. My memory and ability to think straight and clearly feels like its degenerating. I cant focus on anything, and having ADHD doesn't help aha. I've also dealt with things anxiety and depression and depersonalization and severe migraines so that cant be helping. Ive completely stopped all substances except alcohol, the occasional cigarette and the occasional joint to help deal with the stress. But i used all 3 of these things and more up until about a year ago. none of it was hallucinogenic though My point of posting this was not to for attention or plead my case on how hard it is to live with. I know there are people on here that have it worse than i do, but i rather just posted this to see if anybody can relate to my experience so far and has dealt with a similar situation. I haven't read many stories of people with HPPD that seems to be progressively getting worse, so i'm just seeing if someone can confirm its HPPD and not something else. I've been to countless doctors across Toronto and most of them have even heard of HPPD, let alone how to treat it haha, so i kind of gave up on the medical route. Ive had brain scans that all came back negative for anything so HPPD seems to be the only thing i have found that matches my symptoms. Its a scary thought thinking about what it might amount to if the symptoms keep exaggerating like they are doing now. Its only been three years so its pretty debilitating thinking about what it might be like after 10...20...years etc if it doesnt stop, as i only just turned 18 aha. This is my first post so any replies or support really helps, thanks. -Cal
  9. So after my first lsd trip I got hppd, but it was a VERY mild trip. My hppd is also mild. But ever since the trip I have felt just kind of off. Like things and colors look slightly different than before, and in a group of people the noises kind of sound different. I'm also pretty spaced out. I just feel a little different, but everyone says I act the same. It doesn't really fit the comategory of full blown depersonalization, but it could be minor dr or do or something... Is this just part of my hppd? Or is this what they call a "perspective change" from psychedelics. It kinda bothers me so I hope it's just part of hppd. Thx for responses
  10. So I took some acid about 4 months ago and I've had visual snow and floaters and afterimages ever since. I'm 99% sure this was real lsd as it had no taste or mouth numbing effect, and my friend swallowed the tab and still tripped. I'm not too concerned about the visuals from hppd because I recently became free of all drugs, and my therapist/ own research have told me they will most likely eventually go away. But one thing that bothers me is that reality seems slightly off, Like the way everything kind of looks. It just looks slightly different than It used to, kind of dream like and surreal, but I don't completely feel like I'm in a dream or anything. I'm not sure if this is slight dp/ derealization that is just a part of my hppd, or what is causing this, and if it will go back to normal. And when I'm in a large crowd all the voices sound a little different, like I'm noise sensitive or something. I'm also basically always spaced out and forgetful now, but i can still pass tests and quizzes. If anyone has any idea if this is just a symptom of the hppd, or what, just plz let me know! Thx
  11. Hello. I wanted some advice to see if what I am experiencing is HPPD. Little bit of background, I did lsd almost 2 years ago. I only did it once and I always feel like such an idiot for doing it. I didn't even want to, but all of my friends peer pressured me into doing it and after awhile I finally caved in. (Not friends with them anymore.) Anyway, that was in about March/April of 2015. I felt fine, didn't have any symptoms that I know of. A few months later I got on heavy medicine for arthritis and then I had wisdom teeth surgery and that's when I started feeling weird. (Just lazy mostly, and anxious) I asked my brother and he told me about hppd, I read the symptoms and I remember saying "no way I don't have any of that". Later in the year (while taking 2 medicines for my arthritis I developed a ringing in my ear, a symptom of the medicine). My medicine also made me never hungry and I lost 30 pounds in just a few months! (Went to docs and they just kept me on) So then later about February of 2016 my brother and I were talking and this topic came up. I began freaking out and couldn't believe I ever did a drug. I started seeing static vision after rereading the symptoms. Then I had the worse week of my life to date: two people I cared about died in less than a week apart. I was in school so I couldn't leave, but my family left for one of the funerals states away. I was all alone and my anxiety got to extreme levels. I couldn't eat, and I kept throwing up. I took myself to the doctor and my blood pressure was so high she immediately put me on anxiety medicine. After a week on it, my eyes seemed to have gotten more sensitive to light. If I was exposed to super bright light for a long time I saw kind of like circles going into the center. I immediately got off that medicine but this weird thing kept going for awhile. It can still sometimes happen if it's super bright or I'm very very stressed (plus brightness). This was a year later. 2016 was so bad for me because I really believe my anxiety started giving me symptoms. I got off one of the medicines and my eyes and ears felt so much better. However, it is still slightly there. (And I'm still on one of the medicines). My current symptoms are: static vision only when looking at weird patterns or darkness, light sensitivity (plus the weird circle thing which only happens when bright), and in certain lighting I will see like hand trails in my peripheral vision, (I'm super pale, so only like with a dark background, not any colors, just like my skin tone) and eye floaters. However, I have asked my dad and he also has a hard time seeing certain patterns and a lot of people in my family see floaters. I also have always had bigger pupils and my eye doctor always has told me I had sensitive eyes. None of these symptoms started until a year after I took lsd and I had been on three different heavy medications. I feel a lot better today and the topic doesn't scare me as much, but do you think these lasting symptoms are from taking lsd once before? Or do you think it is because of the medicine I am on? (Which includes symptoms such as light sensitivity, dizziness, halos, blurry vision). Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to make sure I included all the details! Thank you in advance. Also any advice would be greatly appreciated!
  12. Ok so one of my most terrifying symptoms usually happens when I am engaging in conversation and eye contact with a person. All of a sudden my perception will change and I wIll perceive the person I'm talking to as some sort of weird talking animal / alien. The colour of their face changes to normally an orange / yellow and all of their features become massively exaggerated. People with "unusual" faces or distinct features cause me the biggest problems. It's so hard to put into words but it really does freak me out and send me into a panic attack. It feels like there is a part in the brain that tells us we know that we are part of the same species as this person I am looking at and that it has been messed with. Anyone ever experience anything similar?
  13. I know that in general, SSRIs, atypical antipsyhotics, and a handful of other drugs often make HPPD worse for most people, but what I've been wondering is the time course it took for symptoms to worsen. Basically, when it got worse from the meds, how long did it take? Was it instantaneous (day of taking/within hours of taking) or did it take awhile to notice an increase in symptoms (say a couple days to a couple weeks)? Mainly wondering because my pdoc wants me to try haloperidol, a first generation (typical) antipsychotic since it had some literature support (the 1971 Moskowitz study and A.G. Lerner's clinical review) for treating HPPD and for the fact that I am developing (mild) schizophrenia (I technically am schizophrenic according to the DSM since my mild symptoms persisted for at least 6 months. Also, as a side note, these symptoms were present before I got HPPD, so they may be causing my HPPD or this can be seen as evidence that they're unrelated since the visual symptoms developed spontaneously overnight). I have an appt. with him in just over a week from now, and I want to at least say I've tried it, but I'm sort of afraid to if it's going to make my symptoms worse instantly. I'm not too worried about anxiety and DP/DR since those are pretty much nonexistent right now thanks to clonazepam and lamotrigine (and learning mindfulness and grounding techniques, which I highly recommend if you want to treat your anxiety or DP/DR without meds).
  14. My psych agreed to start me on clonidine, saying that there's at least anecdotal reports of it easing HPPD symptoms. Has anyone had success with it?
  15. I saw dr Abraham yesterday and his visit was both a positive and negative experience. He told me it was likely that my HPPD would go away. He also said that my case was fairly serious. I have about 8 different symptoms that I described to him. However each symptom is fairly mild and I can go hours sometimes without noticing anything out of the ordinary. I got kind of depressed hearing that my case was "serious" how many symptoms do you guys have and to some extent how severe are they? Id love to compare symptoms since I was always convinced I had fairly mild HPPD and was fairly distressed to here it was "serious" and that he'd dealt with much milder cases. Thanks for any replies
  16. A little background, I've done acid twice mdma a handful of times and mushrooms a handful. I've only done one and then a half tab of acid and never really tripped that hard. The thing is, I've had persistent visual disturbances for about a month and a half now and was diagnosed with HPPD. In my case it's pretty mild, in many environments I don't even notice anything, certain patterns/lightning however can really trip me out. Here's what's really strange though, my best friend is having the exact same issues I have, it just doesn't really bother him. I'm prone to anxiety and can't help but dwell on it which makes it worse. It seems really statistically improbable that we would both have HPPD, does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is that evident of it being more of a transient thing? I'm really confused at this point. My psych has been a big help but I haven't mentioned this to him yet
  17. For those of you who have tried SSRI's have they increased your visual symptoms or decreased them? Or had no apparent effect? I'm considering changing my medication since it seems like a lot of people are saying SSRI's make HPPD worse. Also if it is making my symptoms worse should they return to a baseline when I go off them? I went on the ssri around the same time my HPPd symtoms began so it's my hope that they might die down a bit if I discontinue the drugs. Currently on 20mg lexapro
  18. So Im pretty sure the drug I took was some kind of Nbome, not real LSD, the thing is, I've heard some anecdotal stories that it very commonly causes a kind of "temporary HPPD" that usually goes away in a few months, this would help explain why both my friend and I are having the same symptoms. I also have definitely already noticed an improvement in my symptoms, after a couple months, this along with the mild nature of my case gives me hope that my condition may be temporary, anyone heard of this happening commonly with this RC? And any thoughts on that matter would be great, thanks guys
  19. Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum and this is my first time posting in any kind of forum so I'm doing it wrong feel free to let me know. I have done mdma a few times, mushrooms a few times and lsd twice. After my last experience with LSD I started to have panic attacks and experience odd visual anomalies. My Psychiatrist listened to my symptoms and seemed to think they fit the description for HPPD. I don't experience anything when I close my eyes and no fractal patterns, I do occasionally see objects shifting slightly if I really concentrate them, as well as a small shifting shifting of colors, more just the shade or shadows changing than the actual colors changing. I constantly think I see movement out of my periphery although that could simply be anxiety. I was seeing lots of little dots of light in my but that has oddly subsided today. Oddly my problems with objects moving and color shifting went away during a time when I was concerned about afterimages. (Turns out they're normal I just became hyper aware of them). Took Xanax every once in awhile when I would develop panic attacks, that didn't seem to change the visual symptoms. Klonopin did seem to help but my visuals have subsided slightly without it today. I have a couple questions, is the concurrent with most of the symptoms others describe and does it seem mild compared to others experience? I am also curious if the severity of the symptoms has any correlation to chance of recovery. Sorry for being long winded and I appreciate your replies
  20. i'd like to apologize if this has already been brought up in a previous topic, but I have to ask. Before I had hppd, when I would lay down or be in a low position (not standing) for a long time and then get up I'd get the regular dizzy feeling and my vision would kind of fade a little. Since I've developed this disorder I noticed that when this scenario occurs I not only get dizzy (very dizzy!) but I also 1. Feel extremely faint almost like a mild vertigo 2. My vision completely fades out into this weird beige blocky pattern with blue starbursts 3. I get a chronic headache that's right above my eyes (forehead area). This 'thing' will last a good 30 seconds to minute before my vision will come back. I will note that I do try to get up slowly and kind of ease into a standing position, but it happens every time. I just wanted to ask if this is a typical hppd symptom or is it a low blood pressure problem?... Or something else. Any input is greatly appreciated c:
  21. hey guys, im new here, so i have been suffering from this thing for about 2 months now, but i actually don't know what it is ? whether DP/DR ? or HPPD ? or something else. i got all this from smoking weed, out of a printing paper (A4). havent touched LSD, MDMA etc ever. ohh!, and i never had that 'i am going to die feeling, when i was high'. and i believe i have a bit of social anxiety. i'm a 22 year old male, with no history of mental illnesses. here is what i have:- visual snow (mostly in darkness and dim lights) very sensitive to all kinds of light. (even sunlight) very intense migrainous headaches at the base of skull slight halos around streetlights, and starbursts from distant lights. only negative afterimages faint ringing in ears, ear pain and popping in the right ear from time to time some sounds feel amplified floaters in white backgrounds changed visual perception the vision where u feel ur still high, or stoned. (is this derealization ?) anxiety (along with the 1001 symptoms that come with it) a strange thing which occurs to me is that, i see streaking/starbursting on lights which are far away, but if the same light source comes close, the streaking goes away! here is what i don't have:- trails/tracers blue field entoptic phenomena colour confusion movement in objects and walls geometric patterns size distortions i saw, both eye doctors and neurologists, got an MRI scan, and everything seems to be normal, according to the doctors! i've yet to see a mental doctor. i got prescribed klonopin, took it a few times, for me it doesn't do much, other than making me sleepy. sorry for making such a long post. any help is greatly appreciated. thanks
  22. ok so awhile back i had been experiencing common hppd symptoms (snowy vision, after images, anxiety, mild 25i flashbacks), but as time went on these things faded (except afterimages). now ive noticed that when im watching tv or focusing on any one thing, everything around that object will start to fade to a fuzzy beige or grayish color. if i redirect my focus or blink it goes away, but if i keep on then my entire field of vision turns this color. is this a symptom or am i just tripping myself out over nothing ? any response is good
  23. can anyone, tell me the difference between ? HPPD and DP/DR ? how are the symptoms different from each other ? and how to know if i have HPPD or DP/DR ?
  24. hello there, HPPD online members ! i have been smoking marijuana, for about 2 months now, occasionally, and never had any problem before, but after the last time i smoked weed, which was about 4 weeks ago, i have been experiencing some strange symptoms, which has really started to scare the hell out of me, and giving me terrible anxiety. the symptoms include : 1) increased sensitivity to light, it feels like the world around me is brighter than usual, and colours are more saturated. (especially red), every kind of artificial light is bright to me, my eyes hurt when i look at lights and sometimes i get headaches also. 2) i see after images of objects when i look at them, (mostly lights) and computer screens. lights seem to have a glow to them. 3) when i close my eyes, i see grainy & noisy vision. i also see it when i'm somewhere dark. 4) at night, i have starbursts from car headlights and street lights, (mostly lights which are bulbs). this is really bothering me much. 5) if i stare at wavy patterns for a long time (10-15 seconds) they seem to move. 6) it feels like i am able to see things very deeply and clearly, which i was not able to see before. patterns seem to be more visible and pronounced in things i look at. 7)i have a changed perception, where objects seem to be either larger or smaller and they were before. kind of like in 3D. 8)i feel incredibly lazy and always want to sleep. and i find it difficult to remember things from a few days back. 9)i have become kind of a loner, and i dont want to socialize much with people, and the world somewhat feels different to me. these are the symptoms i can currently remember, ive been to eye doctors, and neurologists, and they say that nothing is wrong with me, although they gave me a couple of eye drops, and clonazepam. they say that because i smoked weed, it has changed the way my brain works, and its going to take time to feel normal again. so i want to know, if im suffering from HPPD, Depersonalization/Derealization or just anxiety ? i would like to state that i have never done LSD, shrooms , cocaine , MDMA, Tobacco etc. (only alcohol and marijuana). any kind of help is greatly appriciated, kind regards
  25. Hi all, just wondering if this is a sensation that you ever get? I am talking about the sensation of receiving an electric shock. The severity varies, of course. I can often feel the sensation building until it suddenly climaxes in what feels like a "jolt" of electricity. It feels almost exactly like I'd imagine being on the verge of a seizure feels like. Very unpleasant. I'm aware that anxiety on its own can cause some people to have a similar feeling (which is bizarre; anxiety can do some absolutely crazy things). Interestingly, the first time I ever felt it was on a high dose of psychedelic mushrooms many years ago.
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