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Found 11 results

  1. Hello All, My name is Allen. I've browsed this site randomly over the past couple years but was afraid share. I'm in my 30's and have had HPPD 2 for 18 years. I was diagnosed 5 years ago after a seeing countless doctors through the years. Recently I found out my wife was pregnant and I became determined to find a treatment or, god willing, a cure. When I was in my mid teens I took lsd about 5 times and I was a chronic marijuana smoker. The last time I took lsd I smoked weed at the same time and I had the worst experience of my life: My heart began to race uncontrollably, my arms and face became numb; I saw long blury trails on everything and I felt hot and cold all at once. It was so intense that I thought for sure I was going to die. In desperation, I curled up in a ball on my couch, closed my eyes, and began to pray to god repeatedly to make it stop and let me live, until eventually I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and thanked god I was alive. I swore of lsd forever. Unfortunately that didn't stop me from trying to party with my friends as usual. Every time I smoked weed after that I would have severe panic attacks and almost black out. When I'd drink alcohol I felt like I had a lump in my throat and couldn't breathe. A couple weeks after that horrible trip I woke up to a dull version of the same type of visuals I had the night of my bad trip, I was petrified and began having random panic attacks. I finally told my mother what I did and what happened since and she took me to the doctor. The doctor swore it was depression with anxiety and completely dismissed any lsd involvement. She prescribed me Effexor and xanax. The effexor didn't help at all and it made my heart race. The symptoms were not going away. I was afraid I damaged my brain beyond repair. Shortly after I withdrew from school and became a hermit. The xanax helped a lot with anxiety but the visuals remained. Through the years I saw about a dozen different psychiatrists and none of them knew what was wrong with me and continued me on benzodiazepines and ssri's. I lost my insurance and couldn't afford all the doctor appointments and medicine, so I began getting zoloft and Vicodin off the streets to self medicate. Eventually the visuals became less intense and my panic attacks were less frequent. Although the visuals and anxiety are a part of my daily life, I still manage to function. Some days are worse than others but I forced myself back into society and I got a good job in construction, and married my girlfriend who has been with me through this whole experience. I got off the vicodin with suboxone and continued the zoloft. With the news of our first child, I found a new determination to get rid of this horrible disease for good. I told my doctor that I wanted to try anything we can to make this stop and she agreed to start prescribing me different medications to see what, if anything, will work. She prescribed clonidine last visit and I started it 6 days ago. Unfortunately it hasn't helped my visuals at all and last night I began having strange thoughts and seeing weird images when I closed my eyes. I'll keep everyone updated on how it goes. I'm really hopeful that something will get rid of this for good. Wish me luck and good luck to all of you. P.s. I am thankful to whomever started and maintains this site. I hope we can get this horrible disease more attention and find a real treatment for it.
  2. Hi, I’m Natalie and this is my first post. I took mdma for the first time in May. Seriously. I took it once, and here I am. June I couldn’t function. The derealization was constant. I was put on Zoloft. Things got worse. Then Paxil in August. Only some improvement. I can tell that I’m getting better, but now I’m on Trintellix, and once again, symptoms are getting worse. I feel like the only time I feel normal is when I’m between SSRIs, but my doctor keeps telling me that’s in my head or whatever. But there seems to be a pattern here. The derealization has improved significantly since June. But these SSRIs seem to make me more anxious and depressed. The only thing keeping me functioning is the klonopin. I don’t want to go against my doctor’s advice but I feel like I should stop the Trintellix. I feel like the SSRIs are slowing my progress? Any advice is greatly greatly appreciated.
  3. Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
  4. So I've commented awhile back about possible hppd, which I come to find out I have :(. I was suffering with depression and serious anxiety and was warned not to start Prozac.. I had no other option to start trying it because i couldn't get much worse seeing I hit the bottom already. The Prozac def increases my hppd symptoms but atleast it made me feel happy and no anxiety but trippy at the same time. It help my visual snow to, which means probably all the anxiety was causing it. I don't want to have to take the antidepressant for more than a year tho. Hopefully it's not a lifetime gig for me.
  5. Hi there, I haven't been active here for almost 1,5 year. I had to focus on recovering and there's some negativity in this forum which wasn't good for my mental health. I was so glad that I got help from you guys and girls when I was in the darkest time of my life. I'm better now. Still got it (2,5 years in) but I don't really care about it anymore, even though it's quite loaded. I haven't smoke weed for 3 years. No psychadelics. I've done coke and drinking alcohol without any problems what so ever. Anyways, I've had sleep paralysis since I was 15 and roughly 3 months ago I was having them 5 days a week, several times every night. You can read more about this what is medically referred to as hypnagogic hallucinations. I don't think that there is a correlation between HPPD and the increased rate of sleep paralysis. Since I had it since I was a kid and I'm 25 now. These sleep paralysis session were unbarely to me so I did some research and found about a great study at NCBI which said a man was cured after trying SSRI (Prozac). I was desperate to get rid of it as it was effecting my studies and work. So I went to the doc and as simple as snapping my fingers I got a receipt. It worked straight away. The first night actually. Which is interesting because usually you have to eat those pills for months to achieve an effect. I've never tried it before though. After a month or two with increased anxiety, that side-effect left and I feel just like before right now, except that the sleep paralysis is gone. My main point with this thread is that I would like to cancel all rumours about how SSRI:s has a negativt effect on HPPD. It is simply not true and there's no studies that proves it either. When you start taking SSRI:s your body must adapt to the medicin as it effects serotonin (which is a transmittor that affects a lot of processes, for example, your movement, thinking and your vision). This is why some report that SSRI:s would worsen the symptoms. It is simply not true. Due to this false information on the forum, I didn't use those pills when my HPPD was at its worse and I wanted to kill myself. I stayed sober for 4 months and got out. But it was a really hard time and I had so much support from family, friends and this forum. If that wouldn't been the case, SSRI:s would probably been a good idea for a person in that kind of state. I eat 75mg a day, and I've seen no whatsoever side-effects on my vision. Not even when starting the meds. But if you do, it will pass within the first 2-3 months. And maybe afterwards you will be able to focus more on your life then your vision. Another thing about depersonalization/derealisation is that I had it for roughly 6 months. I couldn't recognize my own face in the mirror. Neither my family or my body. It's gone now. It's not permanent, but a psychological side-effect to HPPD.
  6. I'm new here but I keep reading that SSRI's don't work well for HPPD. I've been taking Effexor for over ten years. I credit it for relieving me of the terrible anxiety. Maybe to a fault. I could smoke weed and other things with no anxiety. (since reading these forums I stopped smoking weed immediately). I couldn't take Prozac or Wellbutrin because they were uppiddy. Made me feel more anxious. Now, just like the weed, I'm wondering if the Effexor has contributed to none of my other symtoms improving in 25 years.
  7. For those of you who have tried SSRI's have they increased your visual symptoms or decreased them? Or had no apparent effect? I'm considering changing my medication since it seems like a lot of people are saying SSRI's make HPPD worse. Also if it is making my symptoms worse should they return to a baseline when I go off them? I went on the ssri around the same time my HPPd symtoms began so it's my hope that they might die down a bit if I discontinue the drugs. Currently on 20mg lexapro
  8. Hey all! I'm still searching for a medication to treat my anxiety problems that won't simultaneously aggravate my HPPD. As many of you know, that is one tough nut to crack. My immediate thoughts: SSRIs: Seem somewhat effective for my anxiety. Aggravates visuals, had to discontinue. At least HPPD symptoms returned to ''baseline'' upon discontinuation. Benzodiazepines: Greatly attenuates my anxiety (particularly etizolam and clonazepam) and helps HPPD symptoms as well (particularly clonazepam). Very addictive, not a long term solution. I build tolerance to benzodiazepines pretty quickly. Buspirone: Seems too ineffective to be worth it (never actually tried this one) Pregabalin/gabapentin: Seem to have many of the same pitfalls as benzos, plus some extra common side effects(?) Beta blockers: Ineffective in managing my anxiety, since it doesn't primarily manifest with tachycardia, tremors, flushing etc. Atypical antipsychotics: Seems like a dangerous combo w/HPPD (particularly risperidone). Older/atypical antidepressants, such as TCAs: Never tried any of those. Very interested in hearing personal experiences or ideas about any non-SSRI antidepressants useful in treating anxiety, particularly about how they interact with HPPD. Thanks in advance, folks Hope you're feeling all right. Looking forward to hear any and all thought on possible anxiety medications w/HPPD.
  9. Hi all, hope you are doing well. I have been suffering much worsened anxiety lately, to the point that I have daily (relatively mild) panic attacks and feel anxious constantly. It has affected my sleep as well - something that never used to be a problem. Long story short: I'm considering taking an SSRI, probably escitalopram (Lexapro) or citalopram (cipramil and others). I'm interested in your thoughts regarding SSRIs in combination with HPPD. I'm not looking for a cure for HPPD, just for the anxiety, but needless to say I am worried about exacerbating my HPPD. Any thoughts and (especially) personal experiences are much appreciated.
  10. Greetings - I have a solo addiction medicine practice located in New York City. I treat HPPD without benzodiazepines. I use a combination of serotonin reuptake based medications, referrals for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), as well as referrals to acupuncture. Check out my website if this might be of any interest to you. www.stuartklodamd.com
  11. Hi Guys! I'm writing because I seem to have the same symptoms than you, but I never took hard drugs! However, in May, I took an SSRI (anti-depressant) for 3 days before it made me hallucinate! I immeditately stopped taking it, but 2 weeks later I started to see weird things : 1. Negative afterimages, espacially in the morning. 2. Trails 3. When I close my eyes after looking at the window or inside my fridge, I can still see what I saw with my eyes open. 4. Light sensitivity 5. Starbursts around lamp posts and car headlights (the most frightning). 6. Feeling that my eyes are cameras (derealization?) It's been about a month since everything started and I'm very afraid that this is some sort of HPPD that won't go away. I have to say that I cold turkeyed from a low-dose benzo that I took every 2 days for 1 month and a half. Maybe this is just a matter of time too. I don't know what to do to get better. My anxiety is quite high because of this and I don't want to go back to meds since that's what started it in the first place. Are there any success stories on this site? It seems like everyone here is stuck with this and no one seems to recover. Maybe I'm not searching adequately... Thanks!
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