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So i kinda feel shitty about myself right now. Popped 3 benzos at work to numb me from the pain of depersonalization. Then proceeded to chain smoke cigarettes for the rest of the night. (Im not even a smoker!) Idk what the fuck is wrong with me. I guess i just want to escape from this bullshit. And if that means taking benzos and smoking phillies, i guess ive proved to myself that i dont care... Depressed, angry as fuck at the world, pretty much want to kill myself right now.