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Found 7 results

  1. Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
  2. Henkneedshelp

    Hppd and some advice needed

    Hi guys, Im writing this after a week of research done about hppd on google. I couldn't find much about. But the reason i'm ending up here is because i need some advice. So a bit more then a week ago i took ecstasy for the first time. I took 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later i took 1/4 again. I didn't feel too much about the "high". It feelt good and dance all night. When i walked came out of the club (7am) my vision was bit blurry (probably because of being in a dark club all night). Then I went home and my parents were awake. Someone told me to look into light to hide dilated pupils so i did. Now the next morning i was scared i damaged my brain so i went online and searched the internet. At somepoint i stumbled across hppd. I immediately got scared i had this so i checked if i had any of the symptoms. Since i read about hppd i have the "visual snow" all the time, except for when I'm busy with other things. but for the last week I've been obsessing about the visual snow a lot. I see a bit of a glare around lights but im not sure if i had that before. Some lights have a starshape I have after images only when i look to bright lights for a few seconds and the after images dont last long. That's about all the symptoms i have. I don't seem to have walls morph into shapes or anything. I also don't have any of the depersonalition or derealization nor do i have depression. Now my real question do I have hppd? I have OCD so i had anxiety before i did the drug and because of OCD i tend to obsess about a lot of issues, health or other. Also i want to mention that I have done cannabis and alcohol before and since i have my symptoms i tried it once and it didn't seem to worsen the symptoms during the "high" of cannabis or alcohol. I might be overthinking this but some advice would be appreciated. Thank you, Henkneedshelp
  3. Henkneedshelp

    HPPD, XTC and Anxiety.

    Hey guys.Im 19 and last weekend (4 days ago) i used ecstasy for the first time. I took less then 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later 1/4 again. At most it was half a pill (not tested, i know thats really stupid). I have done weed before but between every smoke there was about 1 to 2 weeks break.Now my questions is do i have hppd?The moment i woke up the next day of taking ecstasy i was scared that something was wrong with me. I had some blurred vision and a bit of a headache. So i started looking online and found out about HPPD. Now i am trying to see if i have the symptomsbthey discribe and guess what? i do have some of the symptoms.I have the visual snow one but only if i focus on it but yea its still scaring me.I do have afterimages but only when i look in really bright lights and itbonly stays for 0.5 second. And some bright car light have like this star shape but i think i had that as a child aswell.So yeah what do you guys think?I also want to mention that during the trip i didnt halucinate so im not sure if i eveb can get hppd without having halucinated. And the trip was good.The thing im most scared about is that i will never be able to drink a beer and smoke weed again. (i read that people with hppd cant to that anymore cause it increase the symptoms).What i dont have is things morphing in stuff and i dont halucinate. I dont feel disconnected with myself.Am i overthinking stuff or what?Thanks for reading,Henkneedshelp
  4. SELF DIAGNOSED I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms. Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind? You input it greatly appreciated! I am a 20 year old, college student. Healthy & Athletic (All my life) HPPD 2 Years Symptoms: (100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety) -Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky) -Visual Snow -Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED -Random lines at night -Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around) -Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while) -VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely) -Anxiety -Panic Attacks (Rare) -Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) Drugs taken: Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed -Ecstasy: Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset) Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life) -Adderral: Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after. -Weed: Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety. Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs) -Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) -Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying -Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism) -Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes) I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID & maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd? I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. ?????? Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else? I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary? What else could it all be? Thanks!
  5. I had posted this is the symptoms forum, but I feel as if this board gets more traffic? I'd really like some perspective, so thanks for you time! SELF DIAGNOSED I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms. Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind? You input it greatly appreciated! I am a 20 year old, college student. Healthy & Athletic (All my life) HPPD 2 Years Symptoms: (100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety) -Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky) -Visual Snow -Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED -Random lines at night -Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around) -Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while) -VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely) -Anxiety -Panic Attacks (Rare) -Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) Drugs taken: Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed -Ecstasy: Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset) Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life) -Adderral: Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after. -Weed: Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety. Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs) -Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) -Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying -Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism) -Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes) I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID & maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd? I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. ?????? Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else? I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary? What else could it all be? Thanks!
  6. So I'm just trying to find some commonalities amongst all of us and determine what the main culprit in causing HPPD is(i.e. frequency, dosage, substance). So if you could just list the drugs you used up until HPPD and what substances you used after HPPD and how frequently, I'd appreciate it. Also, if you could state whether or not your HPPD was instantaneous after a particular experience or gradual.....I guess really I just want like as detailed of an account as your trying to give from the time you started using drugs up until this point. If you don't wanna read this entire thing(It's kinda long) just skip to the bottom. Story: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{So for me I smoked weed for about a year before my HPPD "hit" I had done ecstasy around 20-25 times, taken LSD about 5 times, shrooms once, cocaine twice, and pills every now and then(klonopin, xanax, vicodin) but not very often. The bulk of my ecstasy use was the summer before I got into LSD.......After all my ecstasy use I had a little HPPD, I would see trails on certain things and I had a little light sensitivity but nothing out of control. It really didn't bother me at all, everything just looked a little more vibrant and alive. So then sophomore year(when I started using LSD) of college I found a LSD hook up and started trippin. I tripped 3 times over like 1 1/2 months and felt completely fine. No anxiety or weird visuals and my weed highs were still normal. Then I took like a 2 week break and then tripped acid twice more within like 3 weeks of each other. After these two trips things started to go down hill. These last 2 acid trips I had were terrible. I was really paranoid and one of my friends was screwing with me the entire time and the experiences left me in some odd state of mind. Afterwards things started to look a little "acid-like" when I was sober but I still felt like everything was ok. However whenever I would smoke weed I started to clam up and have a lot of anxiety and couldn't really speak straight at all. So I decided to take a break on weed for Christmas break and when I tried to smoke once second semester started the problems were like 20 times worse. From here on out things gradually got worse and worse, I tried to continue smoking as I thought if I regained my tolerance weed would go back to normal. After a bit of this the weird delusional thoughts and anxiety started creeping into my sober life and I decided to stop smoking weed. But, I did decide to do DMT twice and LSD once in an attempt to have a good experience and maybe redirect where everything was heading. It didn't really help....it made the visuals slightly worse but overall was just a waste of time and money. So I decided to stop with all the psychedelics and was "sober" for about a month before I went to a 2 day rave. I took ecstasy both days thinking I could never have a bad experience with that but did and that weekend worsened my visuals quite a bit. So........about a month later I got hit with DP and that was about 7 months ago.....I've taken ecstasy twice since DP hit.....Once was terrible and once was actually enjoyable. I've been more or less sober since around August except for a few drinks from time to time. So yea that's my drug story.....all of that was within about a year and a half from the first time I smoked weed to the time I got DP.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't expect most people to of read all of that but mainly what I'm wanting is just to know what you believe the main culprit of your DP/DR/HPPD was. I think for me it was the two negative experiences I had on LSD. Those two experiences just set in a negative undertone to my subsequent drug use from that point forward. I feel like if I had kept the same frequency of drug usage but avoided those negative trips then I never would've developed anxiety that never would've led to DP and I don't believe my HPPD would've gotten as bad.
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