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Found 7 results

  1. Hi guys, I only recently found out about HPPD after googling these symptoms ive had for a while after my first acid trip: Up until this point I had only ever smoked weed, did mdma regularly and tried a very low dose of psilocibin mushrooms, I decided to try acid next so I bought and tested a couple of 100μg tabs and planned to take one after work one day. So the trip went fine, i was a little overwhelmed but overall it was a good experience and i planned to do it again soon with my girlfriend until I noticed slight visual hallucinations when I was sober. I thought nothing of it and that it would go away in a few days, well here I am 3 months later lol. I experience most of the general visual effects people describe e.g. visual snow, trails behind moving objects and objects changing color/shape, but mostly breathing/undulating walls/objects. If I stop concentrating on something for 1 second the room surrounding me begins to close in, and wont stop until I look at something else. This makes it very difficult to watch tv or relax in general and im kinda freaking out haha. Also, Ive just completed my exams at school but im afraid i will have failed them the symptoms became much more serious in the exam room and it was hard to concentrate. Also, the effects become much more prevolent when using weed, and the visuals are almost indistinguishable from LSD when using mdma. Thanks for reading guys hope you can provide some insight
  2. So! I have ever had any problem with smoking weed or any psychedelics in the past but as of a week ago, every time i smoke my pupils dilate and i get bad headaches that seem to just turn into pain throughout my body. i dont want to stop smoking weed because im very bored all the time. I took shrooms about a year ago, when i was 16, and didnt have very much because i was sharing with a lot of people. about a month or two ago i took acid and tripped for like 18 hours and it didnt go away fully until i went to sleep. since then there wasnt any problems until a week ago. i ate a weed brownie at 8;00 before a field trip at school and didnt feel it until i took a bowl when i got home. i was scared at first because i got way too high then my pupils got big and i started feeling like i was on acid. coincidentially, i also quit smoking tobacco around the same day this all happened. ive done moaks for about 6 or 7 months and decided it was time to quit. im not sure what is causing the acid flashbacks but they are very annoying because they hurt my head a lot, and the pain isnt limited to my head. i feel immense pain on my right shoulder and all up my arm, kinda like i hit my funny bone really hard and its like a lingering pain. if anyone has any information that i dont know i would grately appreciate it because im thinking about not smoking weed for a while but i dont want it to be for no reason
  3. Well, hello there everyone! My name is Amanda, I'm 23 and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have HPPD. At first, I didn't really know what I was going through. When I was 15 I had taken LSD for the first time and had a wonderful time. Then when I was 18 I experimented with some RC's. I started to notice that from time to time I'd start to see visuals on the floor and walls but I thought it was pretty cool at the time..hah. Then finally at age 19 was when I took some LSD that was from the Grateful dead family and that's just when things took a turn for the worst..I took 2 tabs of it and let's just say it was the strongest freaking acid I've ever had. I also smoked a really fat bowl and shortly after I seriously thought that I was going to die. My tracers weren't as colorful and making me happy as they usually would and the room felt like it was enclosing on me. I actually started to lose my mind and my grip on reality..which wasn't even that tight to begin with. Scared me enough to never touch acid again. So here I am today, 4 years later and that trip still comes back to haunt me. When I roll on MDMA and even smoke weed the visuals come back and my heart starts pounding extremely hard and the room feels like it's enclosing on me. Sometimes, when I'm in my room in the dark I still feel like I'm tripping. It keeps me up at night and I just can't help but think to myself...is this really gonna happen to me for the rest of my life? How can I do anything for myself if this is all I can ever think about? I honestly thought that I was the only one going through this because a lot of my friends are acid heads and when I try to explain to them what's going on in my head..they just think I'm crazy. But then I found this wonderful website thanks to Reddit! It makes me feel so much better that I'm not the only one going through this. I really hope to find different ways to help me either let this fade away or learn how to cope. For whomever took the time to read this, thank you so much. I really hope I get to hear back from some of you it would help me a lot.
  4. I'm curious to hear from people about what drug or drugs it is they have gotten hppd from, what the effects were, and if you have had hppd from multiple drugs then how they compared. In my case, I've had hppd from quite a few things. The first drug that really gave me hppd was DPH (diphenhydramine) AKA benadryl. If you don't know what this does then pretty much it's the most realistic bad trip you could have and that's the only thing it can do. After abusing this drug for a very long time extremely frequently and at high doses I had started to get the effects of the drug off of it too. I was seeing spiders and shadow people out of the corners of my eyes for about 6 months or more after stopping it all together but it may be because I was using dxm at the time as well. Now dxm I had a VERY strong mental addiction to and the hppd I got from this made me feel like I was controlling my body from the outside. I'd often be looking at beautiful things and then patterns would form from the scenery. My mind seemed to work at a completely different level and it made me believe I had some sort of power or that I was god though that last thing faded first before all the other things did. After I stopped doing this I started doing psychedelics such as lsd and 2cb and nbomes. I enjoyed the hppd I had in the past and I enjoyed the hppd I had from the psychedelics as well until one day I decided to stupidly take 1.2mg of 25c and 1.6mg of 25-I nbomes in a combo. During the trip the muscle tension must have caused my shoulder to cause a sharp pain when I moved my arm, and because I was tripping and tripping on nbome of all things I started to believe my heart was going to fail because of the reports of vasoconstriction I had read up on. The vasoconstriction from this drug was extremely bad for me so it was easy to convince myself I needed medical care when I was, in fact, fine. After this trip for many months I had multiple panic attacks daily, the only thing that helped it was doing dxm, and I could not let myself fall back into that abuse because of a mental thing. I was actually able to get over my daily panic attacks during a trip on 25c alone. However, this still left me with a near constant anxiety, a pressure in my head and eyes, constant feelings of body failure because of normal pains that have become amplified, feeling like I am going to die whenever I do another substance (this doesn't keep me from it and I sort of find it enjoyable during a trip like a sort of thrill ride), grandiose delusions, acting sociopathic, Being either overly emotional or non-emotional, visual disturbances, mentally feeling like I'm in a trip, visual snow, enhanced colors, seeing the world like a cartoon, feeling out of connection with other humans (yet more connected with animals), having a better understanding of my own thinking (this is positive and negative), and feeling like all the worlds answer are just seeping into my head. How about you? What drugs gave you hppd?
  5. I'm aware that none or most of you are medical professionals, but unfortunately like many of you medical professionals have failed to help me. I have seen that many of you also have personal experience for what works what doesn't work. I suppose almost using yourselfs as guinea pigs. I guess I'm okay with that. Considering I was okay with taking Psychedelics suppliments helping my current state with suppliments doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Medicine History: (PRE HPPD I did this crap) I took ritalin for a short time as a child. At sixteen years old I ODed about three times on effexor. Completely horrible experience. Mental state was suggestible I hallucinated for a little. I ODed on my own personal coctail (migrain pills, antidepressants, ect), I did once more on acetaminophen at 19. I have tried zoloft in high school and out (hated it), Lexapro (didn't give it enough chance so I don't know), Effexor (too heavy hate it), Clonopin (Gave me rare side effect of extreme bruising), Ativan (I still have it take as needed though gives me short term memory). Before I started psychedelics I was on wellbutrin with the most success out of any of these long time off and back on again. It helped with my fluctuations but made me feel cold and void as a person. If you want to know why this all happened I did it, I had a bad environment, abuse, neglect, bipolar, borderline tendencies, rape, abuse. When I started living on my own I felt so much better without realizing that my coping skills were still the same. I knew I would evolve as a person naturally, but I never really understood when my highs were taking me too far in heights. I started smoking pot all the time with my roomie who introed me to drugs. I felt really good for the first time. I did mushroom three times with awesome trips. The first being the best trip, the second two good but not as good as the first. I had a good acid trip. I lost all the weight I wanted to lose. I had a lot of friends who found me interesting, quirky, cute ect. I was on the high of life and everything was awesome never feeling this good so I started to experiment. I had one bad acid trip that did have after effects, but none that I noticed at the time. The wortst was a really bad mushroom trip that sent me to the ER making me think I was dying. What a wonderful Valentines day (last year). I got psychosis for a month and a half. I was really truely lost. My friends all left me thought now that my weirdness was no longer (cute but I was being weird as I really didn't understand social mechanisms really anymore). I was suggestable, and my mind frame was what effecting me. My mental fluctuations were like a box I was confined in this tight box and I had panic attacks all the time. I don't have them anymore though. My thinking was airy and for awhile I couldn't control my thoughts it felt like I was falling into a hole in my mind and nothing could stop it but occasionally falling on little edges and cliffs. I couldn't concentrate couldn't compute thoughts the way I normally did. I was without a paddle in a deep scary ocean that was my mind. I had deep ego loss, and figuring out how much control to give my ego as it does serve to protect us was hard. I had to rebuild it from mindfulness being in the present and learning from my woes of the past. For the record I am 22 now. Live in my own apartment. Work. and have a successful relationship without blame to to the person who brought me into these drugs. We had different learning experiences to cope from, but those were our own battles. Life has been rough for us but we stayed together through the roughness finding beauty in the way that it is. The reason why I think I'm not getting over my hppd is that. After my terrible trip and losing all associations to who I was or thought I was or even being functional as a person is that I widened my mind body connection with this painful experience. I literally cannot poop. I can't move my bowels. It's honestly terrible. This started a few weeks after my experiences. Starting with food allergies, then to extreme bloating, constipation, constant urination. Due to my suggestable nature and thought of death that truely peaked me in my trip. I was assured that I had cancer, that I had some sort of strange movie like premonition and the fear ate me up. I've had colonscopies only finding damage from my constant use of laxatives. This has been going on since febuary. I constantly feel tired, fatigued, bloated, constipated, all the time which effects me emotionally which ends up effecting the loose strings of the hppd that I try to tie up everyday. I more so have the depersonalization, derealization than I do any visuals (I get them occasionally but I don't feel bothered such like tiny splashes of colors). At the moment I cant eat bread, beans, milk, any sugar, any additives, and everything has to be in balance or else it's just too binding for me. I have candida, leaky gut (intestinal permeability that leads to the allergies or really food intolerances), and I can't really poop. I think the inability to poop is the cause for the allergies and bacterial overgrowth. I eat organic veggies in different ways smoothies, soup, steamed, I am doing bone broth. I eat fish chicken, pumpkin seeds, green bitter granny smith apples. If I eat one thing that is none in balance or intolerance my stomach grows to a huge amount and stays like that for the rest of the day. I am fairly thin weighing about 127 lbs and being 5'6 female. It's disheartening looking pregnant when you are not and not knowing how to deal with that if another were to give that sort of attention.I have been reading about how many of the neurotrainsmitters effect our guts and how our gut is like our second brain. Seritonin, GABA and some others play a role in this. I deduced pehaps the suppliment that would help my gut working is the one that will help me move on with my thought disorders after my encounters with psychedelics. I believe that the trainsmittors can be healed with time. What I'm looking for is heal my trainsmittors and brain, general mood balance, brain health, and possibly tackling this gut issue.I tried a few suppliments. Melatonin helps me sleep. Sometimes I take magnesium. St Johns was good at first. Ginko is good occasionally. I'm scared to go back on perscriptions. I know what thats all about. I don't want it to ruin my trainsmittors anymore than they already are. I don't want the split to widen even more... Everyday I take a candida management suppliment, vitamin without iron, garlic, NAC just started , Vitamin B drops I just started and not going to do everyday, and I have a lot of enzymes, suppliments that help me break down my food. I drink aloe water when I can afford it. I'm not very well off with money and thought about social security but the thought of tackling down this issue is unbarable. My doctors all know and they think this is all emotional based. I go to therapy. I just feel lost like I don't know what to do. I just finished a book called the how of happiness which has really great long term happiness based techniques, great advice. Exercise is hard when I feel honestly horrible most of the time. I've been getting better at socializing but I'm not where I was a year ago and honestly it will take time. Part of me has thought that if I tripped again and had a good trip maybe I could go back and fix the bad connections. With my current health and fresh state I thought against this. I at least said let's deal with the current issues without that fist and I haven't thought of that since. I don't hate the shroom it was a big learning experience and all I could do was take the positive out of something that was probably the worst episode of my life. I sort of relapse day to day. Sometimes I feel really good and confident in my character and get a lot of things done other days I get destracted and my mind fights against the idea of change wanting to stay still doing nothing and in the end being nothing. I get lost in there a lot. Sometimes no one knows I'm so on it and other days they can tell I'm real off. I'm trying to find reasons to be inspired to keep up with this and that's why I'm here. Many people left my life, I guess I understand since I'm just not the same. But with a community that really understands I was afraid to go into that at first but I guess laying the truth out that this is really my life right now and having other people accept that I guess that would be amazing. Self acceptance can be a hard one but worth it. I just...don't want to live like this forever you know? I want to be able to use the bathroom and get my health back more than anything. I work about 25 hrs a week due to feeling so ill all the time which I know is both the body and mind infuenced. It was just the craziest draw back to get sick and both ways than just one.
  6. So I'm just trying to find some commonalities amongst all of us and determine what the main culprit in causing HPPD is(i.e. frequency, dosage, substance). So if you could just list the drugs you used up until HPPD and what substances you used after HPPD and how frequently, I'd appreciate it. Also, if you could state whether or not your HPPD was instantaneous after a particular experience or gradual.....I guess really I just want like as detailed of an account as your trying to give from the time you started using drugs up until this point. If you don't wanna read this entire thing(It's kinda long) just skip to the bottom. Story: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{So for me I smoked weed for about a year before my HPPD "hit" I had done ecstasy around 20-25 times, taken LSD about 5 times, shrooms once, cocaine twice, and pills every now and then(klonopin, xanax, vicodin) but not very often. The bulk of my ecstasy use was the summer before I got into LSD.......After all my ecstasy use I had a little HPPD, I would see trails on certain things and I had a little light sensitivity but nothing out of control. It really didn't bother me at all, everything just looked a little more vibrant and alive. So then sophomore year(when I started using LSD) of college I found a LSD hook up and started trippin. I tripped 3 times over like 1 1/2 months and felt completely fine. No anxiety or weird visuals and my weed highs were still normal. Then I took like a 2 week break and then tripped acid twice more within like 3 weeks of each other. After these two trips things started to go down hill. These last 2 acid trips I had were terrible. I was really paranoid and one of my friends was screwing with me the entire time and the experiences left me in some odd state of mind. Afterwards things started to look a little "acid-like" when I was sober but I still felt like everything was ok. However whenever I would smoke weed I started to clam up and have a lot of anxiety and couldn't really speak straight at all. So I decided to take a break on weed for Christmas break and when I tried to smoke once second semester started the problems were like 20 times worse. From here on out things gradually got worse and worse, I tried to continue smoking as I thought if I regained my tolerance weed would go back to normal. After a bit of this the weird delusional thoughts and anxiety started creeping into my sober life and I decided to stop smoking weed. But, I did decide to do DMT twice and LSD once in an attempt to have a good experience and maybe redirect where everything was heading. It didn't really help....it made the visuals slightly worse but overall was just a waste of time and money. So I decided to stop with all the psychedelics and was "sober" for about a month before I went to a 2 day rave. I took ecstasy both days thinking I could never have a bad experience with that but did and that weekend worsened my visuals quite a bit. So........about a month later I got hit with DP and that was about 7 months ago.....I've taken ecstasy twice since DP hit.....Once was terrible and once was actually enjoyable. I've been more or less sober since around August except for a few drinks from time to time. So yea that's my drug story.....all of that was within about a year and a half from the first time I smoked weed to the time I got DP.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't expect most people to of read all of that but mainly what I'm wanting is just to know what you believe the main culprit of your DP/DR/HPPD was. I think for me it was the two negative experiences I had on LSD. Those two experiences just set in a negative undertone to my subsequent drug use from that point forward. I feel like if I had kept the same frequency of drug usage but avoided those negative trips then I never would've developed anxiety that never would've led to DP and I don't believe my HPPD would've gotten as bad.
  7. Hi, i've just joined this site after reading alot of useful information thanks! I think it's very likely that i have HPPD based on what i've read, i was diagnosed with anxiety, as i told my doctor all my symptoms except for the visuals/objects feeling soft, similar to my acid trips. This is because i was under 18 at the time and i was quite sure my doctor was required to tell my parents. I have visual snow basically 24/7, things breathing, after images after staring at objects, text moves and starts to change colour when i read it, sometimes i struggle to tell the difference between 2 not that similar colours, patterns when looking at a plain wall, hairs on towels and such wiggling, things growing towards me or melting, general acid visuals/feelings basically, along with the usual HPPD added extras. Basically i was wondering what would be the best way to approach my doctor about this, explain to her why i was lying about it and hopefully get some sort of true diagnosis. And also whether to mention the different medications mentioned on here or might she be suspicious? It's ALOT harder to get prescribed things in the UK that in the US, especially for mental health problems i've noticed. Any one know what i should do?!