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Found 31 results

  1. Hello to the hppd family. After having hppd, a form of visual snow and some dpdr from weed ive been on my worst days of my life. I was panicing, having panic attacks, checking in every minute pf an hour and basically living in some sort of paranoia. 7 months later i started ignoring it and felt immediatelly better. Im now on my month 8 doing no fap, cold showers, no sugar diet, 4 liters of water a day and listening to positive affirmations daily. Evem though all those thing i still experience a lot of nightmares where i also have dpdr hppd etc. Yesterday i saw a very scary realistic dream with some sort of a demon into it. I woke up sweating and being in a lot of discomfort. I closed my eyes and saw the demon appearing and next to him that star or whatever its called just like afterimages (which im used to them trust me :p). They lasted for about 20 seconds amd they were very scary. I have never had tryied amy psychedelics, i have done mri tests and they are perfectly fine , ive given a schizophrenic test (although) i didnt have any symptom(because i was worried) and o had nothing. Before that day i was on day 12 of nofap, doing cold showers, had sugar free diet, being better with my mental state and working out. The only problem i had with my sleep is that i couldn't sleep well last year when i had none of those things ironically. Also, i sometimes experience sleep paralysis but not this time . im a little worried . can anyone relate to this?
  2. Hello All, My name is Allen. I've browsed this site randomly over the past couple years but was afraid share. I'm in my 30's and have had HPPD 2 for 18 years. I was diagnosed 5 years ago after a seeing countless doctors through the years. Recently I found out my wife was pregnant and I became determined to find a treatment or, god willing, a cure. When I was in my mid teens I took lsd about 5 times and I was a chronic marijuana smoker. The last time I took lsd I smoked weed at the same time and I had the worst experience of my life: My heart began to race uncontrollably, my arms and face became numb; I saw long blury trails on everything and I felt hot and cold all at once. It was so intense that I thought for sure I was going to die. In desperation, I curled up in a ball on my couch, closed my eyes, and began to pray to god repeatedly to make it stop and let me live, until eventually I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and thanked god I was alive. I swore of lsd forever. Unfortunately that didn't stop me from trying to party with my friends as usual. Every time I smoked weed after that I would have severe panic attacks and almost black out. When I'd drink alcohol I felt like I had a lump in my throat and couldn't breathe. A couple weeks after that horrible trip I woke up to a dull version of the same type of visuals I had the night of my bad trip, I was petrified and began having random panic attacks. I finally told my mother what I did and what happened since and she took me to the doctor. The doctor swore it was depression with anxiety and completely dismissed any lsd involvement. She prescribed me Effexor and xanax. The effexor didn't help at all and it made my heart race. The symptoms were not going away. I was afraid I damaged my brain beyond repair. Shortly after I withdrew from school and became a hermit. The xanax helped a lot with anxiety but the visuals remained. Through the years I saw about a dozen different psychiatrists and none of them knew what was wrong with me and continued me on benzodiazepines and ssri's. I lost my insurance and couldn't afford all the doctor appointments and medicine, so I began getting zoloft and Vicodin off the streets to self medicate. Eventually the visuals became less intense and my panic attacks were less frequent. Although the visuals and anxiety are a part of my daily life, I still manage to function. Some days are worse than others but I forced myself back into society and I got a good job in construction, and married my girlfriend who has been with me through this whole experience. I got off the vicodin with suboxone and continued the zoloft. With the news of our first child, I found a new determination to get rid of this horrible disease for good. I told my doctor that I wanted to try anything we can to make this stop and she agreed to start prescribing me different medications to see what, if anything, will work. She prescribed clonidine last visit and I started it 6 days ago. Unfortunately it hasn't helped my visuals at all and last night I began having strange thoughts and seeing weird images when I closed my eyes. I'll keep everyone updated on how it goes. I'm really hopeful that something will get rid of this for good. Wish me luck and good luck to all of you. P.s. I am thankful to whomever started and maintains this site. I hope we can get this horrible disease more attention and find a real treatment for it.
  3. Hi, Just found out that this forum exists and a few months ago what HPPD is. Figured I share my story what made me come here sadly Around year ago I did my first ever psychedelic around 50ug of LSD, even before that a year I did 2-3 times MDMA, for the first days I didnt notice anything unusual, I felt good actually. Then came the strange morphings in my visions in low light conditions, I actually saw my tattoo on my forearm become a full sleeve on my arm, for many months after still...strange feeling, I immediately know whats going on, some kind of after effect of the LSD, so I got scared away from psychedelics,...after that I only touched weed which I had no problem with it, up until this point, a few weeks ago, I been on a really down point of my life, been struggling with anxiety and depression most my life, but the last few years I felt like its getting better, however, I figured I give a try to microdosing LSD, maybe I will get my life together with the help of it. I always looked at drugs as tools, never as something just for fun, so I started 2 weeks ago, taking around ~30ug, then 3 days off, and again..until the 4th time, I felt positive I really thought this can help me, get things set in my life. but...after the last dosage, on the next day I went to bed for an afternoon sleep, got a weird like LSD dream, which best I could describe as the oncoming of LSD that feeling, that gets stronger and stronger, at that point I woke up, all of a sudden, panting and somewhat scared,.. with a ringing ear(tinnitus) and mild visual snow,(i think i had it before but now more aware maybe?!, and the floaters. I knew what was going on, HPPD - because around 2-3 months ago I bumped into this HPPD thing, so I briefly looked it up. Like everyone else here, I'm also scared that I have two live with this and just wont go away, and literally no cure for it, Also annoyed by the fact that didn't even properly had the chance to know more about psychedelics, because I still want to know whats my mind has inside, but my well being is more important. However I gonna stop experimenting, even with weed, been on regularly weed(2-3times a week) which helped me the most, but I tried smoking few days ago, and made the tinnitus worse sooo..., I'm just try and gonna focus on things that matter now, stay focused, get goals, live life without fears, get a better life! I just really wish the ringing would go away, thats really annoying, I don't wanna focus on it and dwell on it every time I hear it in my head, but it's there..hopefully gonna slowly go away. Peace! 28/m/Hungary
  4. Hi, I'm 16 and 5 months ago I smoked weed for the first time, never have taken any sort of drug before that. I had a really bad trip, followed by panic attacks and heavy depersonalization/derealization. When I woke up the next day for the whole entire week it looked like everything was in fast forward. After that week the world started to look dreamlike out of nowhere and then I got used to the symptom (especially after I knew it couldn't hurt me) and it kinda went away, my dp/dr was going away too but I was still pretty anxious and shaken up by the whole experience. About 2 months ago I was walking down the street and my vision started focusing and unfocusing, and I was back in a dream state. I started experiencing all types of really scary visual symptoms like static, after-images, looking up in the sky and seeing all these little tiny white dots (SO MANY), vision skips, tunnel vision, flashing whenever I look at lights, I even have seen colors or glimmers on walls before. Objects have violently shaken up until I blinked, when I bite down on my nail everything goes up and down with it (it's really hard to explain) or when I chew the whole world shakes with every bite. I can't look up, down, then side to side or else my eyes feel so fucked. I have this head pressure 24/7, reading is hard as the letters shift every 10 seconds. I am so so scared, I know you guys probably don't care but before this, I was a really good student, ran track, had plans of going to college and I can't even walk outside now without everything looking so fucking weird. I feel like I'm going crazy. Did I permanently fuck up my brain? Does this even sound like Hppd or something else? I have no one else to really talk to about this because no one else in my life understands, everyone I know just smokes weed and it perfectly fine, Please please if you have ANY advice or can relate to any of my symptoms I would really appreciate it.
  5. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first time posting. I believe I am a minor sufferer of HPPD. I have used several psychedelics a small number of times (LSD, 2cb, mdma) and a few months ago whilst taking mdma near the end of the high I smoked a joint to help me sleep and a few minutes after strong visuals onset and I had a strongly visual psychedelic experience akin to LSD lasting 4-6 hours. Ever since then I have had visual snow (more pronounced in very low light) and eye floaters when it is bright. I get closed eye visuals sometimes. I still smoke weed which makes the visuals worse but still much less prominent than the visuals on a full acid trip. When I sober up the visual snow goes back it's normal level. Since reading about HPPD the advice seems to be stopping taking all drugs but I really enjoy smoking weed as it brings me a lot of wellness and mental health benefits. I would like to continue to do so if possible. It has been 4 or 5 months since the HPPD started and my symptoms have not worsened. I am wondering if there is anyone that has this condition that still can smoke weed without Ill effect? Is it feasible that I could continue to do this?
  6. Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
  7. Hello everyone Last year in December, I had a really bad trip with two of my close friends. One of my friends geeked out and had ego death, but we were all tripping so hard we didn’t realize so we all thought he was being super weird. So me and my other friend left him to be because he wanted us to leave him so he can be alone and try to ground himself. After my friend and I dipped, we smoked a joint and rolled up a full gram of wax in it while I was coming down from the trip. I feel like this is what triggered some of my HPPD (if I even have it) Since then, Ive had somewhat foggy, grainy vision, mild tracers, and sometimes Id see halos around people when thered be a bright light behind them (for example during my HS graduation my principal was speaking and there were like 5 bright lights behind her and infront, causing a halo like effect around her). Besides my visual symptoms, I suddenly started having problems looking people in the eye which has significantly decreased ever since I stopped smoking weed 60 days ago. I feel like weed was making some stuff worse so I quit cold turkey aftwr 2 years of daily smoking. I dont know if Id have depersonalization but sometimes I just have nothing to say to people when they talk to me like Im just so much in my head that I dont care and tune out of what they say, though this has significantly decreased ever since I quit smoking weed. I still have some visual effecta though, and i dont know if thats hppd or not or just aftwr wffects from smoking a gram of wax and weed while coming down from an acid trip. Can someone please tell me if this is HPPD or not? Thanks for all your guys’ help.
  8. Hi guys, Im writing this after a week of research done about hppd on google. I couldn't find much about. But the reason i'm ending up here is because i need some advice. So a bit more then a week ago i took ecstasy for the first time. I took 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later i took 1/4 again. I didn't feel too much about the "high". It feelt good and dance all night. When i walked came out of the club (7am) my vision was bit blurry (probably because of being in a dark club all night). Then I went home and my parents were awake. Someone told me to look into light to hide dilated pupils so i did. Now the next morning i was scared i damaged my brain so i went online and searched the internet. At somepoint i stumbled across hppd. I immediately got scared i had this so i checked if i had any of the symptoms. Since i read about hppd i have the "visual snow" all the time, except for when I'm busy with other things. but for the last week I've been obsessing about the visual snow a lot. I see a bit of a glare around lights but im not sure if i had that before. Some lights have a starshape I have after images only when i look to bright lights for a few seconds and the after images dont last long. That's about all the symptoms i have. I don't seem to have walls morph into shapes or anything. I also don't have any of the depersonalition or derealization nor do i have depression. Now my real question do I have hppd? I have OCD so i had anxiety before i did the drug and because of OCD i tend to obsess about a lot of issues, health or other. Also i want to mention that I have done cannabis and alcohol before and since i have my symptoms i tried it once and it didn't seem to worsen the symptoms during the "high" of cannabis or alcohol. I might be overthinking this but some advice would be appreciated. Thank you, Henkneedshelp
  9. I have read up on HPPD and am certain I have it now. I have used lots of drugs in past, MD,Ket,methodrone, acid, shrooms.. etc. Basically I hallucinated really bad about week ago while high on MD & Ket. I think caused me to develop HPPD. If look up into bright sky I see loads particles floating in sky in my vision. This doesn't bother me just pointing it out. I don't enjoy smoking weed anymore because I get such strong visuals now. Best way I can describe it is, flashing multi colours in my vision, almost like auras/light emitting off people, fast heart rate, and just feels uncomfortable when I get high. I smoked weed pretty much every day for the past 2 years, I have stopped smoking weed now. Will I ever be able enjoy getting stoned again ? Also I read that alcohol can worsen the effects. I feel quite good atm and I'm not smoking weed for a good while.my birthday is next week should i be alright to drink alcohol ? Thanks for any advice :-D
  10. So, after a hospitalization for a suicide attempt I've been put on 10mg Abilify (aripiprazole) and have been taking it daily. Haven't noticed my symptoms getting worse. Perhaps slightly, but nothing unbearable at this point. Additionally I have tried 1:1 THC:CBD weed with no worsening of symptoms. This suggests to me at least that the mechanism behind my HPPD is entirely different than the common hypotheses.
  11. So, for the past week or so I've been smoking a strain that's nearly all CBD and (almost) no THC (I think it's about 13% CBD and maybe 1% THC). I smoke it in joint form, usually shortly before bed. I haven't noticed anything getting better or worse. However, it has done wonders for my insomnia and helps me feel relaxed before I hit the sack. Excellent stress relief. I have a strain that's nearly 1:1 THC to CBD to try still, so I have no idea how the THC will play into things. Planning on doing that this weekend since this will give me ample recovery time should I have a bad time (I don't expect to though). Also, the joints I roll tend to be pretty light, about the size of a hand-rolled cigarette. Also, as a sidenote, I have asthma and the smoke hasn't aggravated it all, usually only if I take a hit that was a little too much. Even then, a few hearty coughs and sips of water later and I'm fine
  12. Hello all, My name is Christiaan, I'm 18 years old. Over this past summer I smoked copious ammounts of cannabis and consumed LSD thrice, with a space of three weeks between the first and second expereinces and one week between the second and third. On the first two occasions I consumed half of a 155ug tab and smoked a small ammount of cannabis alongside (around one bowl). during the final experience I tripped in haste in my home, and dabbed pretty heavily alongside. I had an amazing experience on 3/4 of a tab, and on the comedown of this trip I accidentally ate another 3/4 tab, intending to redose only 1/4. I panicked and went to my sister, who became upset and started to frighten me as I began to trip harder, and so I just went into my room and panicked quietly. Eventually, maybe two hours later I took 15mg Remeron, an SNRI I'm perscribed for GAD/Depression, which put me to sleep for a few hours. When I woke up I was no longer tripping. Needless to say, since this past experience I have ceased all cannabis/hallucenogen consumption. I have been seeing slight hallucenations. Surfaces sometimes breathe, subjects in paintings seem to float and move around, and when reading lettering, especially on a screen, the words and lines can really seem to warp and slide around a bit. I also have noticed strong starbursting affects on lights especially at night, but I'm fairly sure I experienced that before. I am terrified of this developing into something less easy to ignore, especially since I took an SNRI while I had a good bit of acid in my system. As time goes on I become less and less hopeful that this is simply my anxiety or heightened awareness of normal phenomena. Thank you so much if you managed to read all this. -Christiaan
  13. So I took acid twice like 4 months before school was over, I had no residual effects and lived my life as normal. On June 2nd I went to a friend's house, it was his birthday. We all brought weed, I brought 2g's my friend did the same. We smoked a duck ton, around 6 grams. That whole time I didn't have visuals, I was chilling. This was like a month after taking lsd, no visuals in that time frame. After that night I woke up, grabbed the bubbler and smoked 2 bowls. I went home and that day was weird. I felt it the whole day, 8am to 1am. I was on my computer for a few hours that day, when I got off I had a massive black rectangle in my vision. Black as hell, I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what it was. I think I got hppd from weed and not lsd. Now my symptoms are better, I notice them like 3-5 times a day. Things are good, just don't feel like myself, cloudy brain. Thanks for reading, I just had a massive realisation. Replies much appreciated
  14. Hi guys, I only recently found out about HPPD after googling these symptoms ive had for a while after my first acid trip: Up until this point I had only ever smoked weed, did mdma regularly and tried a very low dose of psilocibin mushrooms, I decided to try acid next so I bought and tested a couple of 100μg tabs and planned to take one after work one day. So the trip went fine, i was a little overwhelmed but overall it was a good experience and i planned to do it again soon with my girlfriend until I noticed slight visual hallucinations when I was sober. I thought nothing of it and that it would go away in a few days, well here I am 3 months later lol. I experience most of the general visual effects people describe e.g. visual snow, trails behind moving objects and objects changing color/shape, but mostly breathing/undulating walls/objects. If I stop concentrating on something for 1 second the room surrounding me begins to close in, and wont stop until I look at something else. This makes it very difficult to watch tv or relax in general and im kinda freaking out haha. Also, Ive just completed my exams at school but im afraid i will have failed them the symptoms became much more serious in the exam room and it was hard to concentrate. Also, the effects become much more prevolent when using weed, and the visuals are almost indistinguishable from LSD when using mdma. Thanks for reading guys hope you can provide some insight
  15. Hey guys, So i'm a 32 year old male who's been doing a bit of self diagnosing on the web recently. Guessing that's probably what brings most people to this forum. Anyways, here's my story if you wouldn't mind reading, and perhaps offering a bit of advice. Also, please believe that I don't suffer from any sort of psychosis and I'm not making any of this up: When I was 15 I had a pretty terrible reaction to smoking weed. I realize that must seem pretty mild in comparison to what usually gets talked about on this board. I began smoking occasionally with some close friends during that time, and it wasn't until years later that I even found out that weed seemed to affect other people differently than me. This was mostly due to the fact that I was hanging out with older, "cooler" people than me- so i didn't really bother to ask them what their experience was like, or to tell them about mine. Whenever I would smoke, I would feel completely normal afterwards for a short time until something would trigger the "high". When it hit me, my vision would completely change and get kind of blurry, and distorted (it's very hard to explain and i've been trying to for years haha) and I would feel very tingly and extremely disconnected from reality. The last time I smoked it resulted in the worst experience of my life. I felt like i was on another planet, my vision was as I described before, and it felt like sounds were delayed. I went into a bathroom and began hitting a wall to try to feel something, but even my tactical sensations seemed to be dulled. I won't bother with telling every detail of the next few hours, but basically it was hell. I ended up going to my friends house who advised that I just take a nap and that i'd probably feel better. When I woke up it was dark outside, and the first thing that I noticed was that the anxiety and most of the feelings that i'd had earlier had gone- I felt much better. However, as I walked out of the dark room and saw the light in the hall- I noticed that my vision was still the same as it had been during my earlier experience. My first thought was that it might just take a while for the drugs to completely leave my system. That didn't happen. It's been about 17 years since that experience and my vision has been the same ever since. Over the years, i've pretty much gotten used to it- and short of an anecdote that i'd tell occasionally when friend's asked me why I didn't smoke; I didn't really think about it all that much. Recently, my vision has begun to get a bit worse- and I've been developing what seems to be a case of DP/DR (Depersonalization/Derealization) that seems to be getting worse by the day. My vision combined with the dp/dr is beginning to make my life pretty scary. It's enough just to have a feeling that things "aren't real", but then to have the vision issue backing it up- it's a pretty nasty combo. Anyways, as most modern people do when experiences medical or psychological issues- I started doing some research online and it eventually led me here. I'd like to know if THC can lead to HPPD. Am I way off base? And if so, does this sound like anything that anyone has had any experience with? Since I was a teenager, I've been trying to figure out what happened to me that day, and I'd pretty much given up hope that i'd ever find an answer. Now due to everything that's going on it seems like I don't have much of a choice. I'm pretty desperate to find answers. --If anyone has made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to hear me out. If you can offer any words of wisdom it would really mean a lot to me. Thanks, Dave
  16. I hope people take the time to read this and believe what I am saying because everyone I talk to about this problem does not believe me. I am writing this now because I have had suicidal thoughts recently and need to make a change in my life. My suicidal thoughts are pretty bad. I plan on seeing a therapist this week. When I first started high school in 2008 (9 years ago) I smoked weed once. Just one time. My friends who smoked the same weed were stoners and they recovered the next day like 99% of people do. But I smoked a lot and I had HPPD for about 4 months. I had tingly feeling in my feet and panic attacks everyday. This is when I just started high school where I knew no one and I am a shy introvert. It was absolute hell. I felt alone and scared everyday. But I got through it!!!! And all the symptoms went away like I said in about 4 months. I felt 100% fine. So over a year later I am working out one day and I sit down and my HPPD symptoms came back. ALL of them !!!! But they quickly went away in a few hours. And since then every time I work out (lift weights especially) my HPPD symptoms come back. Please believe me when I say this!!! My mom does not believe me and no one else does. What the fuck is wrong with me. I smoked weed once and now every time I work out I feel HPPD all over again. I have not heard anyone else have this experience before and I have obviously done a lot of research into this. Okay so I lived with the fact that I cant work out for years. I just quit working out-whatever I felt 100% fine just kinda pissed that I could not do it. But this past December I was very upset over things in my life.(Could not get a good job, girl I like a lot has a boyfriend, feel like I have zero friends, lonely) I was so mad that I just started working out. I would wake up and work out and work out some more. I knew that HPPD could come back but I was so sad and wanted my depressed feelings to go away. So now My life is terrible. It is June now and I have not worked out like that for 6 months. But Since that time I have extremly bad visual symptoms of HPPD. They include: -afterimages (These are the worst, get them after looking at something for a second.) -trails, I can see trail when things are moving. For example, if I move my hand across my face. -anixiety, can feel my heart beating at times, feel like I have no personality, feel alone and depressed -tingily feeling in my feet (This feeling gets worse if I work out at all) I love to run but I cant now, makes it worse -floaters all the time, especially outside. -vision makes a huge adjustment from going to light to dark places I seriously can not even go on a 15 minute run right now? If I do , my feet become tingily. What the fuck is wrong with me? No one else with hppd from what I have read has this? I smoked weed once and now I can not work out for the rest of life? What the fuck? This has caused me to have a terrible relationship with GOD. Why would he put this on this earth for me to use? Why would he make me this way? I love working out and want to have a great body but I cant because I smoked weed one. I want a six pack. I am a motivated and focused person. How does this happen when I smoke weed once. I can understand if you take LSD a ton of times, maybe this would happen. One thing that i keep thinking about is the time before I smoked weed once (in 2008) I want to go back to that time and not smoke obviously. I think about that sometimes, makes me feel very regretful. How do i deserve this? I literally smoked weed one time and this is my life. These visual problems are ruining my life. I accepted a job that begins in January and I am considering turning it down now because the job will require me to work 60 hours a week staring at a computer. This a dream job at one of the best companies in the USA to work for. I worked my ass off in college (Magna Cum Laude, graduated in top 15% of my class, made dean or presidents list every semester) And now I get this dream offer and I am afraid to take it because of anxiety I have from HPPD? From smoking weed one fucking time? God What do you want from me? I feel so sad and upset all the time because I have this disorder. I feel so alone. I wish I had cancer instead of this, that would be a piece of cake to deal with compared to this. No one I know can fucking relate to how I feel. That is why I am thinking about suicide. I know that neither of my parents had this disorder or my sister. They have all done drugs and been fine. I must say though that depression runs in my family. My dad has tried to commit suicide multiple times and so have my cousin and uncle. I just found out this information recently. I have seen that fasting can have some affect on the disorder. I have been considering fasting for a couple weeks to see what it does but I have a full time job now, no way I can function without eating food for days on end. I dont know what to do?? Can someone please help me, Make me feel better? I DONT DESERVE THIS. I literally smoked weed one time. God I feel so alone. Will appreciate any feedback. I hope you guys can believe me. Want to make this absolutely clear: I have not done any other drugs besides smoking weed once. I dont even drink alcohol now, (not that it makes my hppd worse but it is just not my thing) I have not done acid or shrooms or anything like that. Nothing.
  17. So! I have ever had any problem with smoking weed or any psychedelics in the past but as of a week ago, every time i smoke my pupils dilate and i get bad headaches that seem to just turn into pain throughout my body. i dont want to stop smoking weed because im very bored all the time. I took shrooms about a year ago, when i was 16, and didnt have very much because i was sharing with a lot of people. about a month or two ago i took acid and tripped for like 18 hours and it didnt go away fully until i went to sleep. since then there wasnt any problems until a week ago. i ate a weed brownie at 8;00 before a field trip at school and didnt feel it until i took a bowl when i got home. i was scared at first because i got way too high then my pupils got big and i started feeling like i was on acid. coincidentially, i also quit smoking tobacco around the same day this all happened. ive done moaks for about 6 or 7 months and decided it was time to quit. im not sure what is causing the acid flashbacks but they are very annoying because they hurt my head a lot, and the pain isnt limited to my head. i feel immense pain on my right shoulder and all up my arm, kinda like i hit my funny bone really hard and its like a lingering pain. if anyone has any information that i dont know i would grately appreciate it because im thinking about not smoking weed for a while but i dont want it to be for no reason
  18. Well, hello there everyone! My name is Amanda, I'm 23 and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have HPPD. At first, I didn't really know what I was going through. When I was 15 I had taken LSD for the first time and had a wonderful time. Then when I was 18 I experimented with some RC's. I started to notice that from time to time I'd start to see visuals on the floor and walls but I thought it was pretty cool at the time..hah. Then finally at age 19 was when I took some LSD that was from the Grateful dead family and that's just when things took a turn for the worst..I took 2 tabs of it and let's just say it was the strongest freaking acid I've ever had. I also smoked a really fat bowl and shortly after I seriously thought that I was going to die. My tracers weren't as colorful and making me happy as they usually would and the room felt like it was enclosing on me. I actually started to lose my mind and my grip on reality..which wasn't even that tight to begin with. Scared me enough to never touch acid again. So here I am today, 4 years later and that trip still comes back to haunt me. When I roll on MDMA and even smoke weed the visuals come back and my heart starts pounding extremely hard and the room feels like it's enclosing on me. Sometimes, when I'm in my room in the dark I still feel like I'm tripping. It keeps me up at night and I just can't help but think to myself...is this really gonna happen to me for the rest of my life? How can I do anything for myself if this is all I can ever think about? I honestly thought that I was the only one going through this because a lot of my friends are acid heads and when I try to explain to them what's going on in my head..they just think I'm crazy. But then I found this wonderful website thanks to Reddit! It makes me feel so much better that I'm not the only one going through this. I really hope to find different ways to help me either let this fade away or learn how to cope. For whomever took the time to read this, thank you so much. I really hope I get to hear back from some of you it would help me a lot.
  19. Hello everyone. To give some context, I'm a freshman in college that has had weed occasionally over the last 2 years. Nowhere near the amount of my friends. This year though, some friends and I've only tried LSD twice. The first time was 100ug, the second time (this November on Thanksgiving break) was 240ug. I had no problems after the first time. After the second time though, I was consumed with anxiety. I didn't have a proper comedown and basically had a really bad trip in the end. For about 3 weeks following this, I had visual static, starbursts when I closed my eyes, and noticing walls breathing/patterns moving. Little tiny floaters. One of the worst parts about this was the INCREDIBLY vivid dreams/nightmares I had. I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. With all of these symptoms combined, I became a depressed anxious mess. Eventually, these symptoms subsided around 4 weeks later and my school's Winter break came along. Feeling cocky and back on top of things, I decided to try weed again with my friends. I smoked 2 times and everything was fine. On New Years Eve, I had a very strong edible. During my high I could see the visual static coming back. Over the next week, ALL of my symptoms came back and the "after images" and static actually seems worse. I had my first nightmare again and for the last 2 weeks I've had vivid dreams/nightmares ever since. Not being able to sleep through the whole night. Now I'm sitting here knowing full well that I was almost completely recovered in under a month and I screwed it all up for myself and made it worse. Last time I was feeling better within 4 weeks. Abstaining from everything (even caffeine), taking vitamins, going on walks, meditating. Since I didn't take LSD again and it was just weed, how can I expect my recovery to be now? How much did I just set myself back with weed?
  20. So, I have a question for those that are either currently smoking weed or used to when they HPPD. My questionsare, how much did you smoke? Was it the normal amount you smoked? More? Less? A single hit? Additionally, if you did it in small amounts (less than what you normally did or just a single hit, big or small), how much worse did it make your HPPD, if at all? I live in the US in the great state of Washington (there's the state and the capital, I live in the state) where recreational use/purchase of weed is legal. The temptation was just too much and I ended up buying just over an eighth from 2 well known and reputable dispenenaries in my city. One strain is a milder one that the cashier ("budtenders" as they like to call themselves) reccommended for anxiety (low THC indica hybrid), and the other is a high THC, high CBD indica. I haven't smoked any of it though, but when and if I do, I'm only going to take one small hit or enough to feel a little buzz (my tolerance is low enough that one hit is probably going to do it for me) Long story short, if I smoke a tiny amount of weed (one small hit), will my HPPD become significantly worse and/or permanent or will it be benign? Thanks in advance
  21. anyone who got HPPD or Depersonalisation , got headaches as well ? i have derealization and visual snow, and i get terrible headaches, which seem to move around. thanks
  22. I had to stop smoking weed about six months ago because I started getting drug tested. I was a heavy smoker, and because I couldnt smoke any more I began to drink. After about two or three months of just drinking I began to think about Mushrooms and LSD. I tried LSD a few times and had some intese, but positive experiences on it. On the other hand I tried Mushrooms once and had a very very bad trip. I swore I would never do psychodelics again, so I went back to drinking. Then after one night of heavy drinking and blacking out I woke up feeling like i was tripping, but only sa little. I did not think much of it, so I continued drinking for a few more weeks. I then realized that things were getting worse, and that I might have developed HPPD. It has been three months since I discovered that I had HPPD, and it has been getting slightly better. I drink occationally, but I notice if I drink too much it can affect me. Back to my original question... like I said I havent smoked in six months and I probably wont be able to for another six months. I was just wondering if I smoke weed that it might have a very negative effect on me. so will I ever be able to smoke weed again?
  23. can anyone, tell me the difference between ? HPPD and DP/DR ? how are the symptoms different from each other ? and how to know if i have HPPD or DP/DR ?
  24. hello there, HPPD online members ! i have been smoking marijuana, for about 2 months now, occasionally, and never had any problem before, but after the last time i smoked weed, which was about 4 weeks ago, i have been experiencing some strange symptoms, which has really started to scare the hell out of me, and giving me terrible anxiety. the symptoms include : 1) increased sensitivity to light, it feels like the world around me is brighter than usual, and colours are more saturated. (especially red), every kind of artificial light is bright to me, my eyes hurt when i look at lights and sometimes i get headaches also. 2) i see after images of objects when i look at them, (mostly lights) and computer screens. lights seem to have a glow to them. 3) when i close my eyes, i see grainy & noisy vision. i also see it when i'm somewhere dark. 4) at night, i have starbursts from car headlights and street lights, (mostly lights which are bulbs). this is really bothering me much. 5) if i stare at wavy patterns for a long time (10-15 seconds) they seem to move. 6) it feels like i am able to see things very deeply and clearly, which i was not able to see before. patterns seem to be more visible and pronounced in things i look at. 7)i have a changed perception, where objects seem to be either larger or smaller and they were before. kind of like in 3D. 8)i feel incredibly lazy and always want to sleep. and i find it difficult to remember things from a few days back. 9)i have become kind of a loner, and i dont want to socialize much with people, and the world somewhat feels different to me. these are the symptoms i can currently remember, ive been to eye doctors, and neurologists, and they say that nothing is wrong with me, although they gave me a couple of eye drops, and clonazepam. they say that because i smoked weed, it has changed the way my brain works, and its going to take time to feel normal again. so i want to know, if im suffering from HPPD, Depersonalization/Derealization or just anxiety ? i would like to state that i have never done LSD, shrooms , cocaine , MDMA, Tobacco etc. (only alcohol and marijuana). any kind of help is greatly appriciated, kind regards
  25. Hey guys. I'm sure you've seen many threads like this in a past and I apologize if I'm being a "nuisance". I just need some insight. I've smoked marijuana for around 4 years and I've taken psilocybin once or twice in my life (it's never had any effect on me though). 3 Weeks ago I stopped smoking pot and began experiencing symptoms of depression and serotonin deficiency such as: irritability for no reason, random outbursts of crying and agitation (once again for no apparent reason). Two days into experiencing these awkward symptoms and after quitting pot I had a really bad panic attack and have been suffering from terrible anxiety and derealization/depersonalization. What troubles me most is that I only very recently read about hppd and I'm experiencing some extremely mild symptoms but they cause a great deal of worry for me. The symptoms are the following : -Occasional very slight breathing of objects ONLY when I focus on them (only certain objects and especially shadows) -Some trouble focusing on objects (especially interfering edges) Now my question is - am I inducing these symptoms due to obsessive thoughts and over-analysis (I can't seem to stop worrying that I've developed this problem and that it will gradually grow worse and interfere with my day-to-day life) or have I genuinely acquired the disorder somehow. As aforementioned: I'm not really a drug user. I've experimented once with shrooms but have most certainly have NEVER "tripped". Like I said...they had 0 effect on me whatsoever. Perhaps my weed could have been laced but I prefer not to dwell on that possibility. I'm still struggling with the anxiety and depression and have been taking prozac (Fluoxetine SSRI) for the past 2 days. I'm only using this to calm the psychological effects which could successively cure my dp/dr once the anxiety has subsided. I hope someone can help me because my obsessive thoughts have been driving me in-fucking-sane and only exacerbate my already HORRID anxiety and depression.
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