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Found 16 results

  1. So I got very minor hppd from an acid trip around 8 months ago. After the trip I smoked weed and drank a couple times, then I started noticing static and such in my vision... so I have been clean from all substances for 5 months. The anxiety/ depression is much better, and the visuals are pretty ignorable unless in bad lighting and not very bad. If I continue to be healthy and abstain from drug use, having recently quit nicotine as well, do I still have the possibility of recovering? I've heard plenty of cases of ppl recovering and having visuals go away within 1-2 years and that's what I'm hoping for! Is this a possibility? Hppd is minor and I plan on staying healthy as I am 17 and workout on daily basis
  2. HPPD-Recovery-Guide

    The HPPD Recovery Guide

    I apologize to those who have been hurt by this post.
  3. I was wondering if they are around here people who can give us a testimonial of complete hppd recovery. Means no more symptoms at all, complete reverse to normal. If so, how did it happen, was it permanent ? How long did you endure HPPD ? Thanks in advance.I did experience one complete recovery when i was 18, 6 month after i got the first HPPD signs. I remember I had one smart drink loaded with Taurine, and i had that cheering feeling that my friends loved me. Maybe we smoked too that day. I was i the street, and then suddenly, It was gone, the snow and all. I felt again my 2 feet, grounded on earth. It was 100% reversed. Unfortunatly, it came back after a party with a very little shroom dosage. I remember the morning i was looking at the fire in the country side and it was back... 25 years ago...it's still there, and i'm not paying attention to it. but Damn, i wish i could figure out how to get rid of it still !
  4. I've had HPPD for 4 years now following a few years of heavy drug use and the main culprates which were 2 life changing bad trips which left me with severe PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and many other problems, or atlesst it exacerbated my already unrecognized childhood issues which I thought weren't too bad or gen non existent. The point of this thread was to share my story and what I've learned to find hope and happiness, even oneness with myself. Im still in the thick of HPPD recovery in the sense that I still suffer daily with the fear, ocd's phobias and manic depression but I have found what I'd call enlightenment or what I think is Thebes start of. during recovery I've tried to find every answer, I changed my diet I've been completely sober of all substance for 2 years, I had an emasculate routine and diet, I did exercise everyday, all revolved around my illness HPPD and other illness, I was a slave to my mind. In simple I found acceptance, I also realized I was part of a spiritual journey, I know to many it sounds naff, it did to me for years but when you find acceptance to your HPPD and acceptance to the fact you've become part of a higher spiritual initiation (is what's I call Amir as it makes sense to me and I hope to you) it becomes easier. the main issue with HPPD is questioning it, fighting it, researching WHY, but the answers only come the day you decide to live and accept whatever the fucks going on which trust me I know at times can feel like interdimentional head fuckery - so you guys know I've been to the darkest depths of this illness - I've anxiety so bad I thought I became fear it's self whatever that is, I've traveled into distant realms of depression, anger and emotional retardation, I tried to end my life twice Andy became and out and out drug addict in attempt to resolve it but what helped me again was accepting what was... just was.. it's bigger then me, it's higher then me or at least my self and my ego so just let it happen. The article that essentially triggered this view on life for me explained that most of us experiencing these extreme feelings, emotionally retarded, anxiety, visuals are those who have been swept into an ego death or spiritual birth which they explain a lot better, i know it may sound ridiculous to some and I was one of those some, so I'd recommend highly to accept it. Accept the feelings and your happier better soul will give birth, resist these feelings and fight the illness and it'll grow as it's a clever cunt. This is the article which explains acceptance and the ego death. http://vividlife.me/ultimate/17379/when-the-ego-dies-experience-of-spiritual-growing-pain/ P.S. don't rule out other coping mechanisms, they all help in some ways or at least most of them, diet, routine and medication. Ive tried almost every medication but it wasn't for me but I have heard of some cases that helped hugely. P.P.S. Specific to HPPDers, when you find acceptance, your ego and visuals will get worse or should I say they did in my case for a bit, they're part of your ego or stleast the negative part of your HPPD is so they react like a child and try to cling onto your self as if they don't want to die which is what the birth of your soul will do. I'd also like to mention I am no pro, I am just going off experience, I have just practiced mindfulness, meditations and spirituality during my recovery. I hope this helps anyone suffering or even those not sufferent, just looking for a bit of help. One love. Charlie
  5. Hi all, I am just wondering if anyone has recovered from Hppd. I am not sure I have it but I go through waves (every 8 months roughly) where I start getting extreme anxiety, head pressure and severe derealization or brain fog to the extent that I stay at home. This could be related to something else but I have had two bad shroom experiences (4 grams the one time and 3 the other). What I am wondering is if that might have triggered this? Are these high enough doses, it sure felt terrible, and I regret it. the head pressure and detachment / derealiztion is unbearable. I have no visual symptoms like trails or lights etc, at all. I actually felt perfect for the last 9 months, better than ever, no anxiety nothing. also bear in mind that I had no ill effects right after the bad trips, only months later. Is this typical of Hppd? I have also come off of benzodiazepines (11 months ago) and I attribute a lot of how I feel to that, but I would like to know if it could be from the shroom and if it could possibly heal over time. Also for those who have had such symptoms and it does happen to be hppd, is there any hope of recovery. I don't mean just living with it but I mean it going away. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, Id love to hear from a few different people to hear how they progressed. Again, I havent lived with derealiztion every single day for the last 11 months, I have essentially had two 4 week bouts of it in the last year. Other than that I have had pretty much full clarity for the last 10 months up to now.I hope that makes sense. Thank you in advance, and I hope you are all well and recovering.
  6. So im 17 and summer is coming up in one week. I've had pretty minor hppd for about 8 months, and I just want this to go away. All my friends smoke weed and I feel so left out not smoking with them. This leaves me pondering a crucial question: should I just say fuck it and start blazing again or should I dedicate this summer to recovery and mental growth to see if I can still recover? I just miss smoking so much but if I knew for a fact that I would fully recover in a year I would be willing to not drink or do drugs until months after I am fully recovered. What should I do it's killing me? My symptoms are: visual snow floaters slight trails in some lighting walls breathing if I pay attention color enhancement brain fog
  7. Is it actually possible for visuals to go away? I know they can get worse before they get better but can they actually ever just go back to normal visually? Just curious need hope or honesty
  8. Hello everyone. To give some context, I'm a freshman in college that has had weed occasionally over the last 2 years. Nowhere near the amount of my friends. This year though, some friends and I've only tried LSD twice. The first time was 100ug, the second time (this November on Thanksgiving break) was 240ug. I had no problems after the first time. After the second time though, I was consumed with anxiety. I didn't have a proper comedown and basically had a really bad trip in the end. For about 3 weeks following this, I had visual static, starbursts when I closed my eyes, and noticing walls breathing/patterns moving. Little tiny floaters. One of the worst parts about this was the INCREDIBLY vivid dreams/nightmares I had. I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. With all of these symptoms combined, I became a depressed anxious mess. Eventually, these symptoms subsided around 4 weeks later and my school's Winter break came along. Feeling cocky and back on top of things, I decided to try weed again with my friends. I smoked 2 times and everything was fine. On New Years Eve, I had a very strong edible. During my high I could see the visual static coming back. Over the next week, ALL of my symptoms came back and the "after images" and static actually seems worse. I had my first nightmare again and for the last 2 weeks I've had vivid dreams/nightmares ever since. Not being able to sleep through the whole night. Now I'm sitting here knowing full well that I was almost completely recovered in under a month and I screwed it all up for myself and made it worse. Last time I was feeling better within 4 weeks. Abstaining from everything (even caffeine), taking vitamins, going on walks, meditating. Since I didn't take LSD again and it was just weed, how can I expect my recovery to be now? How much did I just set myself back with weed?
  9. Hi! I have dizziness, motion sickness, severe head and neck pain/tension for more than 3 months now. The ache in my head is moving around .. I have it mostly at the front part of my head and the back of my neck. I don't have any (strong) visual disturbances (floaters, ghosting, etc.). Does anyone have similar symptoms? How did the head and neck pain evolve over time (e.g. gradually got better, disappeared/stayed)? Kind of freaking out that I have to live with it forever. Does anyone has experience with dizziness and motion sickness? Thank you!
  10. More or less, I was wondering what everyone thought about taking MDMA after recovering from HPPD. If anyone has any of their own experiences as well that would be fantastic. I'll give some background information to my HPPD to help you decide whether you think I could take MDMA again, and just in case anyone is interested in my HPPD journey. I'm pretty sure my HPPD is primarily, if not exclusively weed related. My symptoms have been visual (visual snow, moving lines, and by far my biggest symptom was violent shaking of my peripheral vision), anxiety (largely caused by the vision symptoms), and small amounts of DP/DR. My HPPD began in March 2015 and in the year prior to this I smoked weed a few times a week and took LSD, MDMA and 2CB a few times as well. However from December 2014 - February 2015 whenever I got too high I would experience the violent shaking of my peripheral vision for the duration of my high. In February I stopped taking drugs, and then in March the visual shaking began happening while I was sober. I then experienced all of the symptoms permanently. Hence I believe weed caused my HPPD because my symptoms began while I was high on weed. Since getting HPPD I stopped all drugs use completely besides alcohol (which has little if any effect on my HPPD). The first few weeks were hell, constant panic attacks about my shaky vision. Over the next 3 months, until June, my symptoms became manageable but still very uncomfortable. Since July I have no longer experienced the shaking of my peripheral vision whatsoever. I would say that I have been cured since around the beginning of October or mid-October. My DP/DR is completely gone. My peripheral vision no longer shakes. My only lingering symptoms are visual snow (which is dying down, I no longer get this every day and when I do it's very minor) and small amounts of anxiety, which I probably had before HPPD anyway. Straight lines still wiggle a little bit, but my symptoms are now essentially unnoticeable unless I focus on them, so I consider myself cured. I imagine that my symptoms will have gone entirely within a few months from now. So, bearing all this in mind, does anyone have any thoughts on taking MDMA on a rare basis from now on? I have no intention to smoke weed or take psychedelics in the foreseeable future, but I'm desperate to take 200mg of MDMA this weekend. I have never reacted negatively to MDMA in the last and not have I ever had any open eye hallucinations on MDMA.
  11. I saw dr Abraham yesterday and his visit was both a positive and negative experience. He told me it was likely that my HPPD would go away. He also said that my case was fairly serious. I have about 8 different symptoms that I described to him. However each symptom is fairly mild and I can go hours sometimes without noticing anything out of the ordinary. I got kind of depressed hearing that my case was "serious" how many symptoms do you guys have and to some extent how severe are they? Id love to compare symptoms since I was always convinced I had fairly mild HPPD and was fairly distressed to here it was "serious" and that he'd dealt with much milder cases. Thanks for any replies
  12. So Im pretty sure the drug I took was some kind of Nbome, not real LSD, the thing is, I've heard some anecdotal stories that it very commonly causes a kind of "temporary HPPD" that usually goes away in a few months, this would help explain why both my friend and I are having the same symptoms. I also have definitely already noticed an improvement in my symptoms, after a couple months, this along with the mild nature of my case gives me hope that my condition may be temporary, anyone heard of this happening commonly with this RC? And any thoughts on that matter would be great, thanks guys
  13. Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum and this is my first time posting in any kind of forum so I'm doing it wrong feel free to let me know. I have done mdma a few times, mushrooms a few times and lsd twice. After my last experience with LSD I started to have panic attacks and experience odd visual anomalies. My Psychiatrist listened to my symptoms and seemed to think they fit the description for HPPD. I don't experience anything when I close my eyes and no fractal patterns, I do occasionally see objects shifting slightly if I really concentrate them, as well as a small shifting shifting of colors, more just the shade or shadows changing than the actual colors changing. I constantly think I see movement out of my periphery although that could simply be anxiety. I was seeing lots of little dots of light in my but that has oddly subsided today. Oddly my problems with objects moving and color shifting went away during a time when I was concerned about afterimages. (Turns out they're normal I just became hyper aware of them). Took Xanax every once in awhile when I would develop panic attacks, that didn't seem to change the visual symptoms. Klonopin did seem to help but my visuals have subsided slightly without it today. I have a couple questions, is the concurrent with most of the symptoms others describe and does it seem mild compared to others experience? I am also curious if the severity of the symptoms has any correlation to chance of recovery. Sorry for being long winded and I appreciate your replies
  14. StateOfRegret

    Interesting accounts of HPPD

    I thought it would be interesting to collect all interesting HPPD stories from outside of HPPDOnline, as I'd like to read more. There are a few on Erowid which are more or less HPPD-related: No Life Without It A Life Cycle There is Jacob Scheier's book My Never-Ending Acid Trip. There's the New Yorker Article Please feel free to add more!
  15. I am 18. I got HPPD about 3 and 1/2 monhs ago from one use of shrooms about three weeks prior to that. It started with crazy dreams and hypnagogic hallucinations that had we believing that I was schitzophrenic. Then I had anxiety so bad that I was shaking 24/7. Then I had derealization bad enough so that I would actually leave school durring my free periods to rub snow on my face just so I could feel something. For about a week I had constant visual snow but luckily my visuals were always pretty mild outside of this week and one other time when I awoke to see my field of vision divided into small octagons with rainbow colored outlines. Now I am almost back to normal. I posted on here about a month ago that I was 95% back to normal but I now realize that I probably wasn't even at 75% at that point. I really am atleast at 95% now, probably even more. I very rarely get visuals except for when I am in a dark enviroment. I still get very thin visual snow in the dark but only if my whole field of vision is dark, If I am watching T.V in a dark room I wont see static next to the T.V. or in my periphial vision but I will if I turn my head to the point that I can no longer see the T.V. at all. I sleep fine now but still have some sleep anxiety that causes me to go to sleep later which ends up making me more tired than usual. If I do have weird dreams or Hypnagogic hallucinations I can now completely ignore them and get back to sleep within minutes but I haven't had any in the past week. I still sleep with a light on just so the snow doesn't keep me awake but I don't think I need to anymore. I still am slightly more axious than I used to be but its not that bad and I can tell that its improving. When I am playing a sport or doing anything that distracts me I feel completely 100% back to normal. My DR is gone!!!! I never had DR for longer than a few hours at a time but I know how horrible it is and am very grateful that it is gone. I was completly sober for the first 3+ months, I think that this is very important to recovering. I am never going to use any recreational drugs, other than alcohoI, again. I drank a little about a week ago and had 0 notieable adverse effects, but others have reported long term damage from alcohol. Drinking was probably a bad decision but it was worth it for me because drinking without haveing anything go wrong has given me confidence that I will be able to live my life like I could have before, therefore reducing my anxiety. I'm still not going to drink again for a while, and don't think that I should ever drink heavily again, Im just going to drink enough to get drunk no more than 2 or 3 times a month. My symptoms started to reverse when I realized that I wasn't schitzophrenic (and it wasn't going to get worse if I took care of myself) and decided to do all I could to lessen my anxiety. Once I stopped looking for my visuals I could go a few hours without noticing them, eventually I could look for them and still couldn't find them as long as I was in a a well lit place. The more that I distracted myself with social or athletic activities the more all of my symptoms started to disapear. I really believe that HPPD can be controlled if people try to treat the anxiety part of it. I don't generally believe in all of that positive thinking shit, but when it comes to disorders like HPPD If you believe that you will get better you will. Before and after HPPD I worked out (at least a little) every day and ate extremely healthy, I also took daily vitamins. I'm not sure if this helped my recovery but it couldn't have hurt and is a good idea to do even if you don't have HPPD. This forum has been very helpful to me. Thank you to anyone who answered any of my questons. I think I am going to try to come on here less because keeping my mind off of HPPD is good but I promise that I will still check in regularly to fill you in on my recovery. I haven't been able to find postings of any medication free full recoveries, hopefully I will be the first. I would be happy to answer any questions that anyone has. Good luck all!
  16. I understand the relief Benzo's allow when it comes to HPPD symptoms, including obviously the reduction in anxiety and its related symptoms. I am also aware that these drugs can help you to not care or notice the visual disturbances that can sometimes deeply agonise a HPPD sufferer. But has anyone experienced an actual full or even part recovery from any Visual symptoms?
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