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Showing results for tags 'Ayahuasca'.
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Hello guys, it's been a year since i had the same problem as you. Always exactly 1 year I took 150ug of LSD and had a terrible bad trip that traumatized me and left me sequels. I had flashbacks and I missed a lot because of it. Distorted visions in my peripheral field. All this was cured with antipsychotics, especially risperidone (I can not remember the dosage). But what it took to be cured was the emotional sequel that caused me. Psychedelic experiences transform you radically and unfortunately if you are not prepared for them it may take a long time for you to get back on track and I confess that I am not yet 100% healed of this trauma. But what I can say to you is that the worst of all this is not the visions, but the horrible thoughts that go through our heads thanks to the anxiety that causes us. And what I want to know about this post is just that. What are the thoughts that torment you because of this anxiety? Write them in the comments and we'll help each other by talking about them. For example, I used to think all the time that I was getting schizophrenic, that there would be some outbreak, over time this evolved into existential crises where I thought my soul was lost in space time and I was not living reality, just watching it (depersonalization and derealization helped in this).
So After 12 years of that bad trip, all those traces, figures and distorsions have a name. I must say that the first couple of years were tough, but I belive I've managed to tame it, even Knowing that it stills swims somewhere inside me. I've always knew that drugs had a diferent effect on me, that with my friends: when I smoke weed, I still feel the effects on the next day. My hangovers are like nightmares.... After many years I've ended up taking small doses of lsd o shrooms and I felt afraid to wake up that terror again but it din't. My question here is: recently I been atracted to try Yagé or ayahuasca as an spiritual and concius expantion and of course, curiosity. Anyone here carrying hppd who has any experience?
In the half-awake state I sometimes have the impression of seeing something that is not actually there. Sometimes it is like an insect crawling over the wall(if my face is turned towards the wall) or an indefinite shape hovering in the air(if I happen to be turned towards the room). This will happen sometimes when I'm almost falling asleep, when I see it I will be frightened for a few seconds, but after that I will be fully awake again and realize that it is not real and the vision disappears, my sight returning to normal. I experience no such things when I'm fully awake. I had this phenomenon happen to me before I started taking Ayahuasca but I have the impression that it became worse after taking it. The first time I remember it happening was years ago after I stopped taking Risperdal(I didn't have anything like this before Risperdal), so the latter might have caused it. I never took any other "brain" drug/entheogen/psychedelic besides Ayahuasca and Risperdal. Do you think this could be a symptom of HPPD? I heard that this could be explained by being hypnagogic hallucinations(https://en.wikipedia...wiki/Hypnagogia). Is this a symptom of HPPD? I've now stopped taking Ayahuasca for months and it seems that I'm having less of these hallucinations, although I'm not sure about it(this is all very subjective, no hard data).