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Found 182 results

  1. Translucent

    Hello, I'm "all fucked up"

    Hello everyone, I'm exited that this website exists. I don't even know if anyone will read this, but I'm all fucked up. I have horrible hppd that has been plaguing me for a year and a half now. Peoples faces look cloudy, I can barley remember them unless they are someone I see every week. Regularly I will see geometric shapes that are translucent and colored, Sutch as large rectangles that stretch and phase off surfaces, but it's mainly lines and color smudges always dirtying my vision. things get smaller and bigger all the time, and when they shrink they give off vibes. It is worst at night. I was a fool and extensively abused many phycadelics about a year and a half ago. Mainly the nbome series and that was for 4 months at doses of 2-5mg. But tolerance kicked in and I started going for more exotic combinations, Sutch as 4 aco dmt, nbome and mdma. My favorite was just plain shrooms and lsd. During those 4 months not a day went by when I was not in a supertrip. I severely regret my actions. I quit everything when I got my hands on N,N Dmt and smoked it like weed for a week. After that I have not been the same. Is there any way to help ease this madness? I usually just carry it along with me every day. Emotions affect it.
  2. Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum and this is my first time posting in any kind of forum so I'm doing it wrong feel free to let me know. I have done mdma a few times, mushrooms a few times and lsd twice. After my last experience with LSD I started to have panic attacks and experience odd visual anomalies. My Psychiatrist listened to my symptoms and seemed to think they fit the description for HPPD. I don't experience anything when I close my eyes and no fractal patterns, I do occasionally see objects shifting slightly if I really concentrate them, as well as a small shifting shifting of colors, more just the shade or shadows changing than the actual colors changing. I constantly think I see movement out of my periphery although that could simply be anxiety. I was seeing lots of little dots of light in my but that has oddly subsided today. Oddly my problems with objects moving and color shifting went away during a time when I was concerned about afterimages. (Turns out they're normal I just became hyper aware of them). Took Xanax every once in awhile when I would develop panic attacks, that didn't seem to change the visual symptoms. Klonopin did seem to help but my visuals have subsided slightly without it today. I have a couple questions, is the concurrent with most of the symptoms others describe and does it seem mild compared to others experience? I am also curious if the severity of the symptoms has any correlation to chance of recovery. Sorry for being long winded and I appreciate your replies
  3. Hi everyone, Thanks for your time to anyone who is reading this. I have aways been a "sensory sensitive" person (i.e. only kid on a youth soccer team to have to wear sunglass sports goggles). I took LSD (one time only) during the summer after I graduated from college in 2006. Upon waking up the next morning (after little sleep lol) and getting my day started, it was overwhelmingly evident that something in my brain had changed. I have for the 8 years since then been dealing with a variety of extremely bothersome, what I would describe as, visual sensory overload issues. My brain is now agitated and overwhelmed by all sorts of visual stimuli, most notably unnatural lighting that I encounter in the evening (i.e. all forms of indoor lighting, car headlights, porchlights etc). Also, as crazy as it may sound, my brain is often extremely agitated and distracted by shadows that are created by such lights...things that my brain would have formerly subconsciously filtered out. For instance, an overhead fan with a light behind it will drive me absolutely crazy. I also have issues during daytime hours, though not as intensely, as I am also now more sensitive to brightness from the sun (as well as daytime shadows). When I am in the throes of my "symptoms", my experience ranges from mild agitation to literally feeling like my brain is on fire and in desperate need of someone popping my skull open to dump ice water onto it. This latter feeling generally arises from prolonged exposure, for instance a situation where I cannot just go take a shower to calm my brain down or lie down in a dark room for a while. I don't know if the condition I have is precisely HPPD, as I do not experience visual snow, halos, trailers, or any of the other "common symptoms" I have seen listed under diagnosis criteria for HPPD. However, I keep coming back to this forum and other websites related to HPPD because I have had a persisting sensory condition that was (however predisposed I may have been) either caused or multiplied a hundred times by taking a psychedelic drug. To wrap up with a few other details: I have suffered from Depersonalization Disorder since my senior year of high school (that I am certain was triggered or at least exacerbated by marijuana use). I have not taken any psychedelic drugs since my LSD experience, and have not smoked pot in about 7 years as it makes all of my symptoms much worse. I mostly try to sleep and exercise consistently to help me battle my problems. I have been to several people for help. A neurologist told me frankly that he understood in theory what I was saying, but had no idea what to do. I was later prescribed Xanax by a psychiatrist. It has helped me quite a bit and I generally take it at night time when my symptoms hit at their worst. I do hope to get off of it someday soon because of the zombie-ish feeling it can create. But for now, I much prefer it to the suffering I endure without it. I have been disciplined and have not upped my Xanax dosage during the 2 1/2 years I have been taking it. I believe that the condition I deal with might line up more closely with some of the sensory overload issues faced by MS or Autistic patients. It might very well be that certain receptors were overstimulated during my LSD experience and now my GABA production has been permanently affected. This would explain why taking a Benzo, like Xanax, temporarily makes me feel better. Drinking alcohol, though I don't often engage in it, has a slightly similar calming effect. If anyone has any thoughts, I would greatly appreciate hearing them. I am quite desperate, to be frank, and am open to all suggestions. N-Met is a product I have seen marketed for sensory overload sufferers, as well as GABA Calm. Keppra intrigues me as well because of it's work on GABA receptors, though I am a bit nervous about trying an anti-convulsant. I have also considered meeting with an Occupational Therapist, or a hypnotist. Thanks everyone! DJ
  4. royakash92

    HPPD and Headaches !

    anyone who got HPPD or Depersonalisation , got headaches as well ? i have derealization and visual snow, and i get terrible headaches, which seem to move around. thanks
  5. Hey all! I'm still searching for a medication to treat my anxiety problems that won't simultaneously aggravate my HPPD. As many of you know, that is one tough nut to crack. My immediate thoughts: SSRIs: Seem somewhat effective for my anxiety. Aggravates visuals, had to discontinue. At least HPPD symptoms returned to ''baseline'' upon discontinuation. Benzodiazepines: Greatly attenuates my anxiety (particularly etizolam and clonazepam) and helps HPPD symptoms as well (particularly clonazepam). Very addictive, not a long term solution. I build tolerance to benzodiazepines pretty quickly. Buspirone: Seems too ineffective to be worth it (never actually tried this one) Pregabalin/gabapentin: Seem to have many of the same pitfalls as benzos, plus some extra common side effects(?) Beta blockers: Ineffective in managing my anxiety, since it doesn't primarily manifest with tachycardia, tremors, flushing etc. Atypical antipsychotics: Seems like a dangerous combo w/HPPD (particularly risperidone). Older/atypical antidepressants, such as TCAs: Never tried any of those. Very interested in hearing personal experiences or ideas about any non-SSRI antidepressants useful in treating anxiety, particularly about how they interact with HPPD. Thanks in advance, folks Hope you're feeling all right. Looking forward to hear any and all thought on possible anxiety medications w/HPPD.
  6. Hey guys, I have a question. I'm new to the site, but I've had HPPD for about 3 years now. I also have PTSD (along with several other irrelevant mental disorders).... I'm doing Independent Research on HPPD for a course at my college and I noticed a pattern... How many people who see this happen to have been diagnosed with both PTSD and HPPD? I'd really appreciate the feedback/input! Thanks guys. - Jessica
  7. Hello. This is my first post. I'm sorry for the length but I didn't want to miss anything. I strongly urge you to read this because maybe I can't help everyone but I know I can help people with this information. I used to visit this website because I was absolutly sure I had hppd. I experienced a bad acid trip approximately 6 months ago. I essentially had a panic attack mixed with acid and I thought I was going to die. When I came out of it I felt as if I couldn't feel emotion anymore. However, the next day I woke up and felt ok so I never did acid again but I continued to smoke weed. Now My health I would say had been someone deterioating over the last two years. Nothing medical (doctors find nothing wrong) but I just felt shitty. Tired, lethargic, no libido and just no enthusiasm. Now I was at a families for dinner and was staying over night and ate a big meal (many courses and desert). I experienced what was essentially the same feeling as when I did acid and was I started panicking and thought I was having a heart attack, stroke, brain aneurism, something of that nature. My dad took me to the hospital and they found nothing wrong with me other than slightly low sodium levels and told me that I just had anxiety and was having all the signs of a panic attack. I had never been much of an anxious person and so this both surprised me and unerved me. Now when this happened I worried that I was perhaps contracting a mental disorder and this is what it was like to go crazy from drugs. I spent my days as alone as possible going to school (I go to university in Canada) and them coming home and staying in my room. The worst was the feelings of what this website calls depersonalization and deraelization. I felt like I was living in a dream and wasn't myself. I also experienced bad versions of visual snow (seeing little blue and red spots especially in the dark. Now what I began to notice is that when I ate alot of carbohydrates I had symptoms of the panic,,,, and this is when I found it. I don't know if this is the exact medical reason but I discovered something called candida. Essentially it is a gut disorder that many people experience to varying degrees and mine was bad. The reason it causes these symptoms is that it has no harmful affects other than your body must fight to kill the infection that food causes when you have an overgrowth of this stuff (candida). If your like me your body has been fighting these infections from years and your body is just getting exhausted, particularly your adrenals. From what I've learned is that candida feeds on carbohydrates and any form of sugar. I began the candida diet which consists of only non-starchy vegetables (broccoli, spinach, zhuccini etc.), meats (not processed, my favourite being ground beef due to its cheapness) and then you can also use oils( ie. olive oil). I highly recommend you visit websites and research it yourself. I've been eating this way for approximately 2 months. The symptoms don't lift immediately but from day 1 you feel them lessening in degree. I have begun to feel so light and happy. I can't describe how amazing I feel. If I can help even one person lift from this hell and into the real world I will be happy but I hope that I can help everyone. Atleast try the diet out. The body at least in my opinion is not meant to eat all the carbs, dairy and processed food we eat. I wish you all the best and please post if you experience favourable or even unfavourable results.
  8. VisualSnowTheNetherlands

    SPECT-scan Visual Snow Ben Wigmans

    Hello everyone, I would like to share my SPECT-scan result with you. I was able to get it in Italy because of a friend of mine who also has Visual Snow who works as a nurse in Di Venere hospital in Bari. I was unable to get it in Holland because of several reasons. Link: http://youtu.be/b3Dtrt5pJ7U My symptoms are: visual snow, after images, trails, tinnitus, hyperacusis, light beams that shoot away from objects, blue field entoptic phenomenon etc. PS www.visualsnow.eu is still under construction. Ben
  9. Hello all, I'm not 100% sure if i have hppd or visual snow. I tripped 8/9 months ago and only developed full symptoms two months ago. Ever since the trip +2weeks I have had constant Scheerer's Phenomenon which is when you see the moving sparkles and translucent floaters in the sky and on light bright objects. This is by far my most irritating symptom. Since mid September i have also suffered from DP/DR (though this has gotten a lot better), visual snow, after images, more persistent floaters, and double vision often when on phone/trying to read. I believed i had hppd in the beginning but I have also looked into visual snow and realised that sufferers of visual snow sometimes also have the extra symptoms i describe. Is like to ask if i have hppd or visual snow syndrome? And can visual snow syndrome be caused by drugs or is it random?
  10. Hi, I'm an 18 year old girl who has had hppd i believe for 8 months. I stumbled across this board a few weeks ago and decided to join hoping it might help having some support around me. The reason why I say my HPPD is a little atypical is because of how it originated and what has happened to me. I believe I first got very mild HPPD from times in December and February I tripped. I have only ever taken what you would call actual psychedelics twice (if you discount MDMA and weed). What I took on these two trips was most likely a 2c chemical (2cb/2ci/etc). I know, I'm a dumbass. Shouldn't have took pills I didn't know the contents of. The first time I took 4/5 of the god damn things, second time I took 2. I wish I could give more info on what they are. When I developed this really mild HPPD about 2 weeks after my second trip, I didn't really give a shit about it, I think I thought it was interesting. I remember the exact moment it onset - it was about 4.30Pm and I was walking home, I was looking at the sky and I started tripping out on the sky like I did on my second trip. I saw - and still see - little white dot 'sparkles' moving through and between each other, and 'translucent 'ripples' in the sky. No other real symptoms though and the sky stuff was fairly mild. I started to get CEV for a month or two but i forgot about that/it left. Throughout this time every few weeks I was taking mephedrone and I took MDMA about 3 times. I noticed I started tripping out as I was coming down sometimes but it didn't last. Then in summer I drank alcohol a decent amount, took mephedrone only once about 1g, went out the same night and smoked weed through i think it was a 'bowl'? Whatever it was it was strong as hell. I was stoned to death for hours, dry heaving, dry mouth to the point i thought i would die, the absolute lot. Finally fell asleep, woke up in the morning and everything was normal just felt reallllll hungover. Around 3-4 weeks after that I had my first panic attack. Around 3 weeks of that is when I can say my REAL HPPD started. I had a traumatic discovery about my family, went into a state of depersonalisation and derealisation, didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I had no emotions at all, I didn't even feel like I existed. I felt like an object in the room. It felt and still sometimes feels like everyone else is on one plane and I am on another, its like looking through a misted up window at life. Also started getting intense headaches. I've got over that mostly I think but when that happened... The visuals came. Oh boy they came. First noticed the visual snow. This is a constant 24/7 thing as are many of my visual symptoms. Then the visuals I previously described on the sky got more and more intense - those moving sparkles and translucent ripples in shape grew in size and speed. I also started to see these sky visuals on white/bright surfaces when outside (never inside). Recently I have developed positive after images - when i look at literally ANYTHING, like i will look at someone's eyes, look away get an after image of their eyes, same with text, objects, whatever. And a lot of floaters at night when cars are going past etc. I also have a thing with seeing a green/white circle floater in my vision. This comes and goes but it has NO OUTER STIMULUS. Two times now it has come for 4/5 days then left again. What bothers me the most is the sky stuff - the moving sparkles and translucent ripples. Recently these have stopped being solely confined to the sky and now when I'm outside I will just see them all over, its so annoying. The ripples themselves move and they have become more defined and form weird shapes. So yeah, I think thats the extent of my symptoms. Other than the obvious intense anxiety and depression - and agoraphobia - i have now developed more as a result. It has been two months and at the first onset In September i had suicidal thoughts. Over that mostly i think. But its been pretty hard. I'm really hoping that this gets better at least a bit soon and then keeps getting better. I am in a really frustrated place now. I've just booked on to get therapy. I dont know when il start considering meds like klonopin and keppra. If anyone has any advice for me id appreciate it soooo much!
  11. I believe there are others on this forum suffering from bipolar disorder also... I am wondering if any of you have noticed changes in your hppd symptoms during depressive and manic episodes? I was on Lamictal for about a year and it helped with both, but at the beginning of this summer I quitted cold after forgetting to take it for several days and thinking I was still feeling ok. The hppd symptoms came back after a while, but they didn't bother me much so I somehow delayed taking my meds until today.... I guess lately I've been going through my first hypomanic episode since I got hppd, and during this time it seems like my hppd symptoms got better. Which scares me, because I've been impulsively doing drugs again... (When I'm depressed, I don't do any drugs because even before hppd, everything I did led to panic attacks) I actually feel quite ok, It feels nice to be able to do drugs and have fun again... I sometimes think that maybe it's just me being paranoid, maybe I'm actually cured... But I recognized this pattern a few days ago, after my second lsd trip this month. The last time I was feeling and acting this way, I ended up having HPPD. I'm scared of what could happen after this illusion of feeling good is gone. I started taking Lamictal again today, I hope that it will help the way it did before... I would like to hear about your experiences... Also, I know that same neurotransmitters are affecting both conditions in some way, but I don't understand the mechanisms that much and would like to learn about it more. Any reading suggestions?
  12. Hi guys, New to this forum. I have had palinopsia for about 12 years now. During 2002 I was using cannabis daily, not in vast quantities, but I was stoned most days of the week. At the end of June I was hitting some of the creamiest, dirtiest bongs known to man. had a number immediately after one another. I knew it was too much but was trying to push the limits. For about 30 mins I couldnt see anything but I could hear voices. Then suddenly everyone and everything became very much like a cartoon character. My friends all looked like they should be in a Simpsons episode. I also thought there were giant insects buzzing about. I was advised by my friends to go outside and try chill out. It took me a long time to walk the short distance. Once there the sky went a dark red colour and everything else went varying shades of black. The sky then switched to green. There were constant loud screeching noises. Felt a bit like when Frodo puts the ring on in The Lord of the Rings in fact. Also felt like there were worms wriggling in my head. Very frightening experience. I then lay down for a number of hours whilst it felt like my arms and legs were smaller than they should be. It eventually all wore off but for next number of months I was quite badly fatigued and would frequently go to bed early. Then in August one evening when closing my eyes I noticed a strong after image remained. This gradually grew until I had strong palinopsia. I no longer drive at night as its too difficult, I have visual snow and the rest of the usual symptoms. I went to my doctor at end of 2002 and he thought that it was nothing. I thought it was maybe all in my head. I then went to my optician in 2007 to tell him but there was a more immediate problem with the eyes themselves that needed treatment which took a number of years. It was only this year that I actually came across the term palinopsia. It has not got any weaker over the years although I have learned to live with it. Basically the question I have is could that cannabis use have triggered its occurrence or is it just a coincidence that those two incidents were in the same summer? Thanks for reading!
  13. argentino

    My experience

    hello I account my experience, I have HPPD since March this year, I have 17 years I'm from rosario, Santa Fe, Argentina I need to start smoking weed at 14 after probe a little coke and do not use more. after that smoke salvia and really had no problem with that, is more, use sage about 4 times with no problems. and after I had a really bad trip with 25x NBOME, I felt as actually disarmed apart and could not reassemble them, hence I went to the hospital and instead of letting the effect happen to me pusiern a serum with antipsychotics, antiepileptics and soothing and enunos 15 minutes and had no more anxiety, but the reality was not in pieces, pieces disappeared and only what had been staying. after that visual symptoms persisted, plotters, CEVS oevs and derealization and depersonalization are currently the only thing that make life very unpleasant do not take more "remedies" for some time, not worth it and also when you leave the dr / dp and other symptoms worsen and then smoothed I can not smoke weed because I have really visually similar to the one I had on salvia, I mean very randoms visuals Only now I have DP / DR unbearable visual snow photophobia tracers and palinopsia and drugs in general: Memantine: may help in some, very little Modafinil: improving wakefulness, but it's really not much help Citicoline: nothing L-tryptophan: support something really Benzodiazepines: after a long time without using them help, but only at that time, and also can not stand the side effects Marijuana: actually worsens the visual symptoms, but only for a couple of days antipsychotics: not worth it, do not notice difference and kill what little remains of my soul antiepileptic drugs: nothing Cocaine: the few times I use it only helps me to forget Alcohol: moderately helps a little I'm watching on a user difenidina I mention a topic, maybe try, after all memantine is an NMDA antagonist, and the truth at this point anything that relieves dr / dp auyudaria me greetings
  14. Hi everyone, Last year december I took 20mg of dexamphetamine, I had a good trip but two days later I experienced a panic attack and several visual problems after smoking a cigaret. After this things escalated very quickly, I had multiple panic attacks a day, had to quit school and experienced a lot of visual problems. Since than I began visiting a psych and have I seen several doctors about my eye problems. Every doctor told me that these problems are probably caused by my anxiety and panic attacks. Within the last few months I have my panic attacks under control, sort of, and some of my visual symptoms slightly decreased but most of them are still strongly here. I experience a lot of anxiety over this and I still feel like my symptoms are caused by my drug use from last year. In the months before the dexamphetamine I used around 5 times of 60 mg xtc, never in combination with other drugs or alcohol. Never had a bad trip and I left a few weeks in-between the uses. My symptoms are: floaters, visual snow, dizziness, painful eyeballs and muscles (behind my eyes & my neck + shoulders), problems with focussing my vision, panic attacks, general anxiety. My question is: do i have HPPD or is it really the anxiety? Can someone relate to my story? Thanks!
  15. royakash92

    Need Diagnosis On This!

    hey guys, im new here, so i have been suffering from this thing for about 2 months now, but i actually don't know what it is ? whether DP/DR ? or HPPD ? or something else. i got all this from smoking weed, out of a printing paper (A4). havent touched LSD, MDMA etc ever. ohh!, and i never had that 'i am going to die feeling, when i was high'. and i believe i have a bit of social anxiety. i'm a 22 year old male, with no history of mental illnesses. here is what i have:- visual snow (mostly in darkness and dim lights) very sensitive to all kinds of light. (even sunlight) very intense migrainous headaches at the base of skull slight halos around streetlights, and starbursts from distant lights. only negative afterimages faint ringing in ears, ear pain and popping in the right ear from time to time some sounds feel amplified floaters in white backgrounds changed visual perception the vision where u feel ur still high, or stoned. (is this derealization ?) anxiety (along with the 1001 symptoms that come with it) a strange thing which occurs to me is that, i see streaking/starbursting on lights which are far away, but if the same light source comes close, the streaking goes away! here is what i don't have:- trails/tracers blue field entoptic phenomena colour confusion movement in objects and walls geometric patterns size distortions i saw, both eye doctors and neurologists, got an MRI scan, and everything seems to be normal, according to the doctors! i've yet to see a mental doctor. i got prescribed klonopin, took it a few times, for me it doesn't do much, other than making me sleepy. sorry for making such a long post. any help is greatly appreciated. thanks
  16. need help asap please! i nearly committed suicide the other day and would really appreciate if anyone could help me in finding a doctor that understands hppd in my area. I live in Tacoma, WA, USA, which is about 30 miles south of Seattle, WA. I just want to be better so i can finally have the confidence to meet a girl and to love as well as my lifelong dream to pursue a career as a piano composer. I am 18 years old now and have had it since i was 16 (September 2, 2012)- yes i remember the exact date because since then it has been a living nightmare. Ever since I developed HPPD I have had Constant Depression and Consistent Anxiety of the extreme along with the disturbing visual snow and hallucinations.
  17. can anyone, tell me the difference between ? HPPD and DP/DR ? how are the symptoms different from each other ? and how to know if i have HPPD or DP/DR ?
  18. Dante Quixote

    HPPD 28

    Hello fellow inmates, This August will mark the 28th anniversay of my hppd event. I can't gloss it over, it's been tough. Although I knew a few students in college who had persisting halos, trails and strobe motions visuals - my problem is different. The Facebook page for this site currently has an example of the floaters and flashes, sparks and static that I see every day. For the most part, my life has been good. But, my hppd has been a big contributer to serious bouts of depression and anxiety. It has impacted my life in significantly negative ways. Luckily, when I am doing well, the floaters and flashes don't bother me much. I cope with them. If I am stressed and depressed? they bother me much more. Finally, in 2012, I discovered that my condition had a medical term and that my symptoms were not unique. All the doctors and therapists I had discussed this with had never heard of a permanent visual side effects from LSD. About five years into my hppd, I was lucky to have a neurologist who took me serioulsy and ordered a Visual field test, PET and MRI. He claimed that there may be some slight abnormality in my optic cyasm - the junction where the two optic nerves meet and then enter the brain. They can diagnose this by a delay in the signals from the eyes to the visual centers of the brain. I've recently looked into other visual problems that are related to the optic nerve and one -- optic nerve atrophy - it rather interesting. Although the condition causes faded and washed out vision, this related information seemed relevant to me: "The optic nerve can also be damaged by shock, various toxic substances, radiation, and trauma." Of course, the "various toxic substances" caught my eye. So, I started thinking that perhaps blotter acid (toxic substances) with a questionable additive do some optic nerve damage? This is just a theory. But, I think it's worth considering. Has anyone else come up with a neuroligical explaination? I am so grateful for this forum. I look forward to connecting. Hope to connect with all of you soon. -Dante
  19. hello there, HPPD online members ! i have been smoking marijuana, for about 2 months now, occasionally, and never had any problem before, but after the last time i smoked weed, which was about 4 weeks ago, i have been experiencing some strange symptoms, which has really started to scare the hell out of me, and giving me terrible anxiety. the symptoms include : 1) increased sensitivity to light, it feels like the world around me is brighter than usual, and colours are more saturated. (especially red), every kind of artificial light is bright to me, my eyes hurt when i look at lights and sometimes i get headaches also. 2) i see after images of objects when i look at them, (mostly lights) and computer screens. lights seem to have a glow to them. 3) when i close my eyes, i see grainy & noisy vision. i also see it when i'm somewhere dark. 4) at night, i have starbursts from car headlights and street lights, (mostly lights which are bulbs). this is really bothering me much. 5) if i stare at wavy patterns for a long time (10-15 seconds) they seem to move. 6) it feels like i am able to see things very deeply and clearly, which i was not able to see before. patterns seem to be more visible and pronounced in things i look at. 7)i have a changed perception, where objects seem to be either larger or smaller and they were before. kind of like in 3D. 8)i feel incredibly lazy and always want to sleep. and i find it difficult to remember things from a few days back. 9)i have become kind of a loner, and i dont want to socialize much with people, and the world somewhat feels different to me. these are the symptoms i can currently remember, ive been to eye doctors, and neurologists, and they say that nothing is wrong with me, although they gave me a couple of eye drops, and clonazepam. they say that because i smoked weed, it has changed the way my brain works, and its going to take time to feel normal again. so i want to know, if im suffering from HPPD, Depersonalization/Derealization or just anxiety ? i would like to state that i have never done LSD, shrooms , cocaine , MDMA, Tobacco etc. (only alcohol and marijuana). any kind of help is greatly appriciated, kind regards
  20. SELF DIAGNOSED I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms. Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind? You input it greatly appreciated! I am a 20 year old, college student. Healthy & Athletic (All my life) HPPD 2 Years Symptoms: (100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety) -Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky) -Visual Snow -Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED -Random lines at night -Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around) -Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while) -VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely) -Anxiety -Panic Attacks (Rare) -Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) Drugs taken: Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed -Ecstasy: Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset) Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life) -Adderral: Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after. -Weed: Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety. Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs) -Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) -Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying -Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism) -Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes) I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID & maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd? I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. ?????? Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else? I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary? What else could it all be? Thanks!
  21. r.trudeau

    Keppra Study

    From the album: Levetiracetam efficacy in Hallucinogen Persisting Perception

    Levetiracetam efficacy in Hallucinogen Persisting Perception study
  22. With regards to David's proposed theory (which implicates thalamocortical networks and feedback loops), see; This study suggests that decreasing cerebral blood flow in the thalamus of PTSD patients can reduce 're-experience' symptoms. Perhaps this has some relevance for us.
  23. If no one minds, I'd like to create and maintain this thread to compile articles, book excerpts, studies, quotes, etc. on orthomolecular approaches to treating/managing and reversing neuro-psychiatric illnesses, HPPD being one (if it's a problem, no worries, it can be deleted or whatever). When I first started getting HPPD symptoms (which were much less severe than now), I started looking into things like organic foods (I definitely recommend the documentary Genetic Roulette, as well as the book Seeds of Deception, for more information), followed by alternative and naturopathic medicine. Nowadays, I'm open to anything, including the traditional, Western allopathic model to medicine. Nonetheless, personally, I believe the orthomolecular approach holds the greatest promise as it is (1) science based (unlike some other models), and (2) contains potentially hundreds of thousands of cases of people being cured of their ailments, which, interestingly include ailments such as psychosis and Schizophrenia. To begin this, I'd like to share some excerpts from an article on the thyroid (hormone)/oxidative metabolism-"insanity" connection written by Dr. Ray Peat; though I'm a fan of Dr. Peat, there are many others that have fantastic information, such as (but not limited to): Dr. Abram Hoffer, Dr. Albert Szent-Gyorgi, Dr. Linus Pauling, and Dr. Roger J. Williams. Thyroid, insomnia, and the insanities: Commonalities in disease SOME FACTORS IN STRESS, INSOMNIA AND THE BRAIN SYNDROMES: "Everyone is familiar with the problem of defining insanity, in the case of people who plead innocent by reason of insanity. The official definition of insanity in criminal law is “the inability to tell right from wrong.” Obviously, that can’t be generalized to everyday life, because any sane person realizes that certainty is impossible, and that most situations, including elections, offer you at best the choice of “the lesser of two evils,” or the opportunity to “do the right thing,” and to “throw your vote away.” People who persist in doing what they know is really right are “eccentric,” in the sense that they don’t adapt to society’s norms. In a society that chooses to destroy ecosystems, rather than adapting to them, the question of sanity should be an everyday political issue." "Looking for general physiological problems behind the various symptoms is very different from the practice of classifying the insanities according to their symptoms and the hypothetical “brain chemicals” that are believed to “cause the symptoms.” The fact that some patients hallucinate caused many psychiatrists to believe that hallucinogenic chemicals, interfering with nerve transmitter substances such as dopamine or serotonin, were going to provide insight into psychotic states. The dopamine excess (or serotonin deficiency) theories developed at a time when only a few “transmitter substances” were known, and when they were thought to act as very specific on/off nerve switches, rather than as links in metabolic networks. The drug industry helps to keep those ideas alive." "A particular drug has many effects other than those that are commonly recognized as its “mechanism of action,” but when an “antidepressant” or a “tranquilizer” or a “serotonin reuptake inhibitor” alleviates a particular condition, some people argue that the condition must have been caused by the “specific chemistry” that the drug is thought to affect. Because of the computer metaphor for the brain, these effects are commonly thought to be primarily in the synapses, the membranes, and the transmitter chemicals." "The brain, just like any organ or tissue, is an energy-producing metabolic system, and its oxidative metabolism is extremely intense, and it is more dependent on oxygen for continuous normal functioning than any other organ. Without oxygen, its characteristic functioning (consciousness) stops instantly (when blood flow stops, blindness begins in about three seconds, and other responses stop after a few more seconds). The concentration of ATP, which is called the cellular energy molecule, doesn’t decrease immediately. Nothing detectable happens to the “neurotransmitters, synapses, or membrane structures” in this short period; consciousness is a metabolic process that, in the computer metaphor, would be the flow of electrons itself, under the influence of an electromotive force, a complex but continuous sort of electromagnetic field. The computer metaphor would seem to have little to offer for understanding the brain." "Although it is common to speak of sleep and hibernation as variations on the theme of economizing on energy expenditure, I suspect that nocturnal sleep has the special function of minimizing the stress of darkness itself, and that it has subsidiary functions, including its now well confirmed role in the consolidation and organization of memory. This view of sleep is consistent with observations that disturbed sleep is associated with obesity, and that the torpor-hibernation chemical, serotonin, powerfully interferes with learning. Babies spend most of their time sleeping, and during life the amount of time spent sleeping decreases, with nightly sleeping time decreasing by about half an hour per decade after middle age. Babies have an extremely high metabolic rate and a stable temperature. With age the metabolic rate progressively declines, and as a result the ability to maintain an adequate body temperature tends to decrease with aging. (The simple fact that body temperature regulates all organic functions, including brain waves, is habitually overlooked. The actions of a drug on brain waves, for example, may be mediated by its effects on body temperature, but this wouldn’t be very interesting to pharmacologists looking for “transmitter-specific” drugs.) Torpor is the opposite of restful sleep, and with aging, depression, hypothyroidism, and a variety of brain syndromes, sleep tends toward the hypothermic torpor. An individual cell behaves analogously to the whole person. A baby’s “high energy resting state” is paralleled by the stable condition of a cell that is abundantly charged with energy; ATP and carbon dioxide are at high levels in these cells. Progesterone’s effects on nerve cells include favoring the high energy resting state, and this is closely involved in progesterone’s “thermogenic” effect, in which it raises the temperature set-point. The basal metabolic rate, which is mainly governed by thyroid, roughly corresponds to the average body temperature. However, in hypothyroidism, there is an adaptive increase in the activity of the sympathetic nervous system, producing more adrenalin, which helps to maintain body temperature by causing vasoconstriction in the skin. In aging, menopause, and various stressful conditions, the increased adrenalin (and the increased cortisol production which is produced by excess adrenalin) causes a tendency to wake more easily, and to have less restful sleep. While the early morning body temperature will sometimes be low in hypothyroidism, I have found many exceptions to this. In protein deficiency, sodium deficiency, in menopause with flushing symptoms, and in both phases of the manic depression cycle, and in some schizophrenics, the morning temperature is high, corresponding to very high levels of adrenalin and cortisol. Taking the temperature before and after breakfast will show a reduction of temperature, the opposite of what occurs in simple hypothyroidism, because raising the blood sugar permits the adrenalin and cortisol to fall." "Therapies that have been successful in treating “schizophrenia” include penicillin, sleep therapy, hyperbaric oxygen, carbon dioxide therapy, thyroid, acetazolamide, lithium and vitamins. These all make fundamental contributions to the restoration of biological energy. Antibiotics, for example, lower endotoxin formation in the intestine, protect against the induction by endotoxin of serotonin, histamine, estrogen, and cortisol. Acetazolamide causes the tissues to retain carbon dioxide, and increased carbon dioxide acidifies cells, preventing serotonin secretion."
  24. I think we can all agree that general awareness of HPPD is sorely lacking. Indeed, the majority of us here had no or little idea of what it was until we developed it. Odd that everyone hears so much about flashbacks, yet absolute nothing of HPPD, when I'm sure everyone here would gratefully trade this perpetual debilitating disorder for occasional, transient "mini-trips". Indeed, I know of a heck of a lot of people dealing with HPPD yet none who experience "flashbacks" in the traditional sense. The thought of this lack of awareness causing more and more young, naive people to develop this disorder and suffer as much as all of us have is deeply distressing. Not to mention the amount of people out there who undoubtedly have symptoms without being aware of exactly what's going on who will likely use more psychedelics until their condition is more severe. I can't help but feel compelled to do my best to get the knowledge out there to those who are likely to benefit from just being aware of it, as I wish I had been. Hence, I think it'd be great to compose a concise, non-alienating, realistic information pamphlet along with a website where the information is far more easily and readily available than browsing a pretty imperfect forum for tidbits of anecdotal data, or piecing together the knowledge from the various erowid/wiki/webMD/neurosoup and so on articles which all omit very important aspects of the nature of the disorder. I'm not entirely sure of the processes involved but I'm sure through contacting philanthropic mental-health/drug recovery organisations and the like it'd be possible to get HPPD more into the public eye. I'm imagining government or privately sponsored grants to print the brochures wouldn't be extremely difficult to procure either with the right approach. These, along with perhaps posters and such, could then be distributed at nightclubs, raves, head shops, etc. Of course a lot of people will ignore them, but they'll be far from entirely unnoticed. I'm sure all of you agree that this is a necessary, noble pursuit, and I've decided I'll dedicate my moments of clarity to endeavouring to make this a reality. Insights, advice, and help would all be greatly appreciated!

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