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bpl4269 last won the day on July 23 2014

bpl4269 had the most liked content!

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About bpl4269

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  1. Much appreciated. I may send a message your way in the near future. Sorry to hear you are feeling similarly.
  2. I appreciate the complimentary words of encouragement. Makes me feel slightly less useless. ha Unfortunately visual distortions are the least of my worries, and attempting to explain them in detail now would likely just be a redundancy. Considering I used to obsess over them and critically analyze every bit of minutiae 24/7 years ago; specifically here on this forum. Not to say I can't have a go at it if explication is truly desired. It just isn't entirely relevant on my end these days. Benzodiazepine withdrawals, Bartonella, Babesia, Lyme disease, and horrendous mold allergies are the main so
  3. I am and have been stretched so thin for so many years that explaining the intricacies of exactly why my life appears to be running on approximately .00001 hp seems utterly aimless. The only blood diamond here worth gleaning is, there is a cap on the stamina of the human body/"spirit", and given enough horrendous decisions and unlucky happenstance, you too can earn a place in a bracket of exhaustion and misery beyond the comprehension of most "normal" human beings. A purgatory unlike no other. Horrified of life and mortified of death, with absolutely no options left on the table
  4. Twitches/tremors can be, and are often indicative of infectious disease such as lyme disease/bartonella/babesia/etc.... Getting tested by IGENEX labs if possible, is your best bet at potentially eliminating that possibility, though it's still not a sure-fire way of knowing for certain. I have the diseases listed above, and without treating them, my hppd would have never improved. It would have continuously intensified. I have had a hunch for awhile that infectious disease is a common underlying precursor/catalyst to hppd, as it is downplayed by governments, (U.S. Government specifically), and
  5. At least for myself, they manifested as they do in this picture. They vary in intensity from time to time and person to person.
  6. Haven't been on this website or logged into this profile in years. I feel at home though. ha
  7. I think the pathology of HPPD is too case sensitive and complex to be cured with a "magic bullet" 5HT2-a receptor antagonist. I understand why you might believe this to be an option, but in my experience, approaching treatment with narrow vision, so to speak, (no pun intended), is doomed to fail. Most of the substances that have landed many of us in this predicament have complex pharmacological profiles, some of which, either are incomplete, or we are unaware that they are incomplete. There is still much to be learned. Looking at the situation with a broader perspective enveloping every single
  8. Really happy to hear that this subsided for you odysseus :-) I wish you a happy and healthy life for years to come :-)
  9. It caused a relapse of one of my symptoms on two seperate occassions. I am extremely sensitive to it. The second time it caused a relapse of one of my symptoms it wasnt even regular coffee. It was decaf.
  10. whatever....life sucks

  11. Just found out I probably have bipolar disorder...how big can this shitstorm get!! fuck this life...

  12. Starbursting greatly reduced today! Dp is also letting up! God I hope it stays this way.

  13. Dp and starbursts driving me up the wall, life sucks.

  14. Ever since i got hppd/dp/dr dragging my ass out of bed to go to my shitty minimum wage job has been the hardest thing for me. This being because when I go to work, I have to face the world, put on a facade, and endure physical and mental exertion for 8 hours straight. I dont ever want to talk to people, and when I do its usually forced. My boss and co workers treat me like shit too because they think im lazy because i do the bare minimum, but at this point im just trying to keep my head above water, to keep from totally losing it and punching someone square in the jaw. They know i have lyme di
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