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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

dreisind

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  1. Not trying to be a snake oil salesman! That's why I posted this with my own skepticism up front. Either way, what I define as "spirituality" is the feeling of connectivity and unison with both the physical world around me as well as to the consciousnesses that inhabit it. I've had what's been popularly described in scientific literature as a "religious experience" (defined by the likes of Williams James) back when I was in high school (this left my atheist beliefs shaken...a bit of an ironic twist to a crisis of faith). Since then I've been trying to tap back into that feeling of blissful harmony and understanding of the "whatever" that holds us all together (the "whatever" being the ineffable feeling of "god", thus the traditional way of skirting around actually using the word, whether it be g_d or the almighty, etc...it is a truly indefinable feeling, and putting words to it completely nullifies its significance because it binds it to terms that we understand in our physical reality, while what I felt was fundamentally removed, or "behind", the workings of our world while inextricably a part of it all, driving time and existence forward....yup...) To sum it up as succinctly as possible, it felt like everything in the world was a tuning fork, and everything was vibrating at the same frequency; and the tone that was causing everything to vibrate came from "the ether" aka what lies between our senses and behind the physical world. Still not a religious person, but I'm becoming more open to the possibilities. Anyways, back on topic. I stopped taking them for a week and felt pretty miserable. Again, could be placebo (anxiety attributed to not taking what I thought had been helping me). If anyone wants like 20 capsules i could happily send them your way (my bottle has 120+ pills) just to see if its helpful. Again guys my only intention with this is to help anyone I possibly can. HPPD is hell and if i can help one person out of that I will feel satisfied with my time on earth. Peace and love everyone
  2. From what I've read the major chemicals involved aren't found in fish oil. And don't worry about sounding insensitive, I'm about as big a skeptic as they come, and my interest in spirituality only sprouted after an amazing trip about five years ago. Anyways, who knows if it's legitimate; and, like I said, I can't rule out placebo or other variables at play.
  3. Anything you can do to reduce anxiety will help with this from my experience. For me this has included .75mg of clonopin twice a day (NEVER MORE than prescribed...never), 20 mins of cardio per day, 10-20 minute sessions of mindfulness meditation once per day, a daily routine that stays the same (regular sleep, regular eating patterns), avoiding stimulants like caffeine and tobacco, chest breathing exercises. Also, as you can read in a thread I just made, you could try fermented skate liver oil. Like I said, I can't rule out placebo, but I've seen a pretty significant improvement in my symptoms after about a month of taking 2 capsules every morning. I hope this is helpful, and just remember that the brain is an incredible and adaptable organ. Your brain will figure out how to do these things, even if its through a new lens.
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  5. I tried a piracetam regimen for around 2 weeks, found almost no effect positive or negative. It's great to take a bit if you are drinking though..it makes you incredibly clear headed in the morning. Easily the best hangover preventer I've ever experienced (only on the mental side, but if you drink a liter of water before bed you'll feel pretty much hangover free)
  6. I take 10mg of Propranolol twice a day, and while it doesn't help much with visuals, it's definitely nice for controlling racing thoughts. I've found that half of my anxiety is physical (tense muscles, elevated heart rate etc). Getting that under control makes it much easier to think properly and separate yourself from your anxious feelings.
  7. Even if you can't change your symptoms, remember that you can always change your ways of thinking about your situation. I had a really tough dealing with the loss of "self", or the character or myself I had built up to that point in my life. It seemed like it was gone forever, and that i'd never be in touch with that same sense of identity. But then I realized...it was still "me" that was experiencing all of this. The same objective observer that had existed my entire life; it was only that "character" that seemed to have been lost. In reality, that "uncorrupted" self was gone...but only because of the vast changes that had occurred since the onset of HPPD. I have since incorporated all of my experiences - pre and post HPPD - into a newer, more expansive "David". Remember that reality is just as it's always been, you're just thinking about it in a different way and that there's no objective "true" or "real" way of viewing it. I've also found a lot of help in mindfulness meditation; focusing on the present, the wonder of the world and the amazing fact that we even experience it at all. And despite our mistakes, in the grand scheme of things we are all incredibly fortunate. Remember that there IS hope and that even in the worst case scenario - that your symptoms don't go away - your attitude towards your situation can ALWAYS improve, and that is really what matters the most.
  8. Also, another thing that's helped me is to try and normalize the visuals. Think about it, even people without HPPD see things that aren't necessarily reflective of reality; if you cross your eyes you see double, if you press gently on your closed eyes you see patterns...hell, even those visualizers on the internet that make everything wavy for a bit after you stare at them. Point is, while it may seem completely foreign and even insane, it's just a consistent manifestation of a completely normal human reaction. Reality is the same as it's always been, you're just looking at it through a slightly different lens.
  9. I've found that a low dose of Propranolol (10mg for me) helped me cope with the anxiety a lot. It's a high-blood pressure drug, but it's used for things like stage fright and performance anxiety because it helps take away the physical manifestation of anxiety. For me, it allowed me to separate myself from the anxiety and recognize that it's just anxiety, rather than be consumed by it.
  10. If you taper off slowly, withdrawal symptoms should be minimal. It's only when you try to go cold turkey that you really run into problems.
  11. Mine is from one bad trip after eating a half eighth of shrooms...I wasn't even tripping that hard, but my brain basically had to freeze itself in order to prevent me from having the horrible thoughts associated with the trip, and I've been basically left in that state. My visuals are minimal, but my brain hasn't unlocked itself (plus I still have horrible DP/DR)
  12. Not always, but from what I remember from the old board there is definitely a correlation
  13. I recently started taking Propranolol, and I have to say that it's really helped me deal with my situation. It hasn't lessened any particular symptom, but it totally gets rid of that knot in your stomach, and for me that has been half the battle (well, maybe not half...but it's better than nothing). For those of you unfamiliar with Propranolol, it's prescribed for high-blood pressure at higher doses, and is used off label at low doses for things like stage fright, shaky hands, etc...It basically cuts your adrenaline, and pretty much gets rid of your fight or flight response. Not a panacea, but it's great at keeping your physical response from hijacking your thoughts. I take 10mg in the morning and 10mg at night (which helps for those early morning panic attacks) Talk to your doc, and make sure he checks your blood pressure and heart rate before prescribing it (if either are too low you might be out of luck)
  14. The consumption of food stimulates the same areas of the brain as...well, everything that gives you pleasure really, including many addictive substances. Couldn't it then be possible that they have a legitimate addiction to food? If the brain craves that stimulus in the same way, why should the fact that it craves something natural preclude the issue from being a true addiction? The health consequences are as bad if not worse than many other addictions. Seems like a legitimate psychiatric illness to me (for some people, at least). At the same time, I completely see where you're coming from.
  15. Which symptoms were helped the most for you? Headpressure/racing thoughts + DP/DR is what kills me right now
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