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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

hppdsince1974-2

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hppdsince1974-2 last won the day on July 20

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About hppdsince1974-2

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  1. Hello everybody. I want to apologize for being away so long. I started to become very active in 2014, but I got sidetracked and swept away by other events but now I am back. My story started in 1974, and I was probably among the first wave of HPPD sufferers, at a time when only the flashbacks were discussed, and anybody who is having any symptoms related to taking hallucinogens suggest branded as psychotic. My story is on here somewhere else under my previous username "HPPDSince1974" - I struggled with HPPD for many many years and eventually got it under control by of course stopping all my substance use, tried to take as good care of myself as possible, lots and lots of therapy, stubbornness, persistence, patience. I probably really turned the corner by around 1990, possibly helped by some other treatments I received for a related condition but not HPPD. I've been able to stay functional, after the first round of incredible suffering the last many months. The recovery was really slow at first but I eventually developed a career, family, I have lived a reasonably normal life, although, I'm definitely different than most people. If you have questions feel free to send me a message. I limit the details of my personal story online but if I can be of any assistance or service to you I am here. I'm definitely not any kind of doctor, but I am definitely an expert with HPPD. It has been 45 years since its onset, and for 20 years I have barely noticed it, so recovery is possible; a good life as possible; life will still happen and of course life can be tough, but you don't have to be owned by HPPD. May you be safe, and at peace
  2. Hi, I happened to notice your post is new and doesn't have any replies yet, I have a couple of thoughts. Your symptoms do sound consistent with HPPD. You're asking questions though that only a knowledgeable doctor is really qualified to answer. I'm curious whether you're also experiencing the emotional symptoms of HPPD: incredible depression and anxiety, fear and distress. Since you had those symptoms before experimenting with drugs, it sounds like you probably have something else going on that is amplified by the use of drugs. That's probably not much help, and I have the obvious suggestion that you see what happens if you stop using substances and see if your symptoms subside. I would like to find out more about how we can find qualified doctors who are experienced with HPPD to go to with our symptoms and questions
  3. Hi, I really appreciate this. When you say "your relationship changed" I get it. For me there had to be a measure of relief, enough "normalcy" to get to the point where I could deal on that level. Early on I was completely overwhelmed and in pain not from my relationship to the disorder but by the effects themselves. It took DECades for me to almost completely resolve my relationship with HPPD. Years of struggling with it myself because it was not known at the time, and it took some PTSD/EMDR treatment, a psychotic breakdown that resolved, a terrible journey, and I have been free from being owned by HPPD now for maybe - 10, 15 years? Awful shit happens to people sometimes. A soldier gets part of his head taken off on the battle field and must recover - if he can. A car wreck can destroy your neurological normalcy forever in a heartbeat. As humans we have unfathomable strength and capacities beyond what we imagine, and we CAN get through this awful experience. I'm glad the OP finally resolved, I'm very grateful I resolved, and you-all can resolve too. With the right resolve. Now, there's an interesting play on words.
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