I scrambled myself (I don't have a word for it) when I tried to annihilate my ego in a series of Ayahuasca ceremonies, and I did some crazy reckless things after that. In my experience weed can make all this exponentially worse. The hellish aspects of it I believe are connected to lack of self love and self acceptance. Saying this "I LOVE YOU!!!" to yourself, you would be amazing what this can actually do. You see it as your falling asleep and your subconscious takes over. You can say it to yourself in your head 1000 times in a day, the more you do it, the more you see it subtly seeping in. You can even say "I FUCKIN LOVE YOU!!!". Another one "I DEEPLY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF". In my experience love is the resolution.
And your past choices don't matter so much as your present choices. You can say "I'M SORRY" to yourself, really say it and keep saying it until you feel it in your heart. This WORKS! And saying "THANK YOU!!!" for every little thing, it's got immense power that your conscious mind might not understand. It's like if you've driven yourself to hell because you didn't realize that you're in the driver's seat. Little things like affirmations let you steer in the direction of heaven.
If you haven't read Eckhart Tolles books, I highly recommend it. This helped me so immensely cultivate equanimity within myself. I can't explain how much this has helped me. I've observed that I can instantly go from hell to heaven when I surrender to and accept hell. And resisting can drag me down into the depths of hell. It's not always easy to surrender and accept. Eckhart Tolles books open your eyes to a lot of aspects of this.