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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Posts posted by Kyle77

  1. This is going to kill me. My life has been on halt because of this, whatever it is. I don't really know if it is Derealization, Brain Fog or HPPD. These are just terms that I have found that best describe my symptoms. When this all started I believed it was anxiety, but it never went away. I just feel dumb as shit, and I have visual symptoms. I'm still living at home, I don't have a job, and don't plan on going to college. I don't have any motivation to pursue my life, BUT it's because I feel FOGGY. It's because I just feel OFF,  WEIRD, or maybe NUMB. And this all started when I decided to have a bender one weekend, and I do have a minor history of cannibas and K2 use. Every single fucking doctor I have seen will fail to recognize this. What does brain fog feel like? You can't focus, or maintain a train of thought. You feel high and out of it. You may get headaches all the time or have visual snow or static in your vision. You know things aren't right but no one will listen to you. Sometimes you may wonder if your just really Schizophrenic. I want to die!

  2. This is the same kind of bullshit that I've dealt with when trying to get help for this from "doctors". It's anxiety its all in your head. Stop thinking about it it will go away. Everyone that has to deal with HPPD/Brainfog/Depersonalization knows the frustration. I've tried to accept that this is all anxiety, but it's still here. It's a neurological disorder, plain and simple and I bet an FMRI can measure this.

    Has anyone ever heard of Pseudobulbar affect? Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) is a condition that's characterized by episodes of sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate laughing or crying. Pseudobulbar affect typically occurs in people with certain neurological conditions or injuries, which might affect the way the brain controls emotion. So is MattyHouseMouse suggesting that people with this Pseudobulbar affect can actually control there symptoms with shear will power? It doesn't work like that. If it could then what does that tell you about consciousness itself? Does the mind exist beyond our reality? And if it does then I guess with enough will power we could override any problem confined to our material world. I could literally grow a fucking leg back, or a brain.

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  3. Thankyou for the reply, im feeling really beaten and depressed because of this. I've forgot to mention that I was also diagnosed with sleep apnea awhile ago and got a CPAP machine but I don't think it helps all that much. It gives me gas. Do you know any other HPPD/Visual Snow/Brain Fog sufferers that have been diagnosed with sleep apnea as well? Mine isn't severe persay when they found it but it was enough to cause a drop in blood oxygen when I'm sleeping.

  4. The way I see it, it's a neurological problem that causes such psychological distress. I suffer from extreme brain fog and I myself share strange visuals. My life is at a complete stand still because of this. No doctor will help you with this. I have tried. I have asked for and FMRI, and neuropsychological evalutation and the doctor said good luck finding an insurance company that will help with that. What I want to do for myself is study this, and understand what's going on in the brain, what's lighting up, what's not. I want to take cognitive testing and really assess my overall fluid intelligence because I really believe there's a god damn problem. The best way I can describe it is like something clicked, when this all happened and haven't felt right ever since. Lots of people feel this way. Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Post concussive syndrome but a doctor wont help you. Your just thinking to much take this pill and shut the fuck up. Sorry if you feel worse or get more problems. I've been suggested anywere from anxiety to schiz.

    I just feel so numb and dumb all the time and all I really want is to feel and think again.

  5. I don't know where to start. I have had "brain fog" since 2011. I'm 24 years old now and I need to figure my life out, but I am too afraid to take the step because of this simple yet obscure "brain fog". It is a disability, but no one is able to accept or even acknowledge that it is a very real problem. "I look normal" on the outside but I definitely don't feel so normal on the inside. To put it plainly, I feel numb and dumb and I have one or some visual symptoms as well. I have heard of sage helping with cognitive function, but what is the proper dose? What are some side effects associated with sage? What are some peoples experiences using it? I've read lots of stuff on brain fog and just about anything can cause it, but I believe, like everyone else here, feel it is a chemical imbalance due to previous drug and alcohol usage. I would appreciate it if someone could point me to the right place. I am interested in herbal remedies and vitamins that may help. Thank you.

  6. Has anyone thought about trying to get an FMRI? I asked a doctor to help get me one but he said good luck finding an insurance company that will pay for it. I've also tried to get neuropsychological evaluation. I think you can get a whole bunch of tests that gauge your working memory, attention. verbal fluency, all sorts of stuff to assess your overall cognitive capacity. I was told that's only give to people if they have severe enough brain trauma by the same doctor.

  7. I have not used any drugs as far as I am aware, I forgot to mention that I smoked pot about 4 time before the K2 incident and once after. It was some mild stuff and gave me a body high. Never had a problem from actually smoking weed but will not touch anything anymore.

  8. I am probably thinking about taking ginkgo and St. John Wort. My father said he kind of felt like I did when I was younger but probably not as so severe as me. He really took them because he just wanted a little edge without having to take something a lil more hardcore, if you know what I am talking about. I thought about trying to get some Ritalin or Adderall from a doctor but again I am afraid to take anything really.

  9. How do I help this? I've read about the methyl B12 protocol, but you have to undergo cheating therapy first, and of course there are other herbs and vitamins out there, but I am scared to try anything honestly due to potential side effects from doing things wrong. I feel so screwed up honestly it prevents me from wanting to try anything for fear of screwing myself up more. I don't even really socialize anymore because all the people I know drink and do drugs. Where can I start? I am really interested in methylation in general, it just makes sense to me.

  10. I suffer from, probably really severe, brain fog. I used to call it derealization/depersonalization when I used to have panic attacks, years ago from it. I've read all sort of stuff over the years about brain fog, and just about everything can cause it. I also have a strange visual symptom that started to occur shortly after the "brain fog" occurred. I don't really know what to call it. I've heard starbursts but don't really know. When ever I look at a brighter surface/outside/light source, I see tiny pin pricks of light in a white noise pattern occurring in the same area of view were the brighter light source is. This happens really fast for like 5-10 seconds and then things adjust. I've tried sunglasses but the same thing happens with them on as well. I would say that maybe I do notice some visual snow, but that's only at night with practically no light. The brain fog however is particular disturbing. It's borderline debilitating and I feel like quitting my sanitation job and living on assistance. I like my shift were I work, but I'm never going to get anywhere in life working this shift. I want to make more than 14 an hour. I've tried other shifts but multitasking is a serious issue with this "brain fog". All in all, I feel like I'm constantly going in circles all the time and my world just feels like its going by me so fast. It's so hard to keep up with anything. I feel dead in the head. Maybe numb... and dumb. I smoked weed about 4 times back in 2010, great times, no issues. Smoked K2/spice once, took one or two hits, propelled myself into a terrible panic attack for about a half hour, felt like forever, got better, but still felt kind of groggy, high, dizzy for about a week or two. I used to drink alcohol on the weekends, and never really much except for a few occasions. Then one weekend I was drinking all day but lightly, I basically sustained a mild buzz all day, but then it never went away and here I am with this brain fog. I do not drink alcohol or do drugs, but I love sugar and caffeine. Quitting may help but probably so marginally. Here's a previous post I made.


  11. What the title say's. It's something I have been struggling with for years and it seems to be increasing in severity. I figured to sign up here because brain fog can be a symptom of HPPD. It's been a long and horrendous uphill battle. The best way to describe how I feel is that i'm constantly going in circles because I find it so hard to be in the moment, to comprehend whats going on, to remember things. It's feels like everything is going on so fast. I used to call it derealization/depersonalization but I call it brain fog now. Any amount of mental effort quickly turns to tingling or pressure in my skull, headaches are frequent, find it extremely difficult to find words, slur speech and do basic math, i feel high/drunk/dizzy and I have this weird visual symptom. When I look at light source or a spot that is brightly illumated, or if inside looking out the window, I see these tiny pin pricks of light in a white noise like pattern centered around the brighter area before things adjust and they go away. There are natural squigleys and eye floaters that I do believe are normal but the white noise pattern I see seems to represent that all of this is neurological. This all started back and 2011 when I was drinking all day on weekend. By the end of the day I had the wierd, dissconnected feeling that I feel now all the  time. It just never went away but the next day when I was in school my vision was so blurry and was having panic attacks. I'm used to the high feeling now so panic attacks are non issue, but I'm just not the same person no more. I had smoked K2/spice once before this and had a really bad panic attack due to the intense dissociative effects that it had on me. I failed 11th grade because I basically gave up but I continued to go back the following year and passed high school with my regents. I was really scared to drive at first and didn't get my liscense until 2015 and been from job to job because of the brainfog, but I'm doing sanitation now at a meat factory and I've held it thus far. This job is insanely easy. Just rinse and clean stuff, it just has to be really perfect. I am super thankful that I am able to have this job at all, but I'm hitting a block. I'm stuck at 14 an hour and my wage only goes up to match the cost of living. I need to make more money. I want to save money and live easily. I want to take on more responsibility and do more but I am afraid to do so because of this debilitating brain fog. I am extremely depressed and constantly think what am I doing with my life because of this. I took a welding class when I was back in school but never did anything with it. I want to go back to a trade school and do something else. I've been thinking that this may be some form of dementia. I just wish I could be healed of this curse. I honestly want to think that I have been cursed. I've made it a long way but I think this is as far I will ever get in life, and I am getting to the point of wanting to give up on it all and just live on assistance. I currently still live at home, and feel the pressure and guilt of still being at home. Im 24 years old and single, if that matters.

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