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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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AlphaBeta last won the day on October 30 2019

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  1. My eyes water sometimes when visuals get strong, but there is no pain.
  2. Could you tell more about your drug usage before HPPD onset (frequency / doses) and your initial and current symptoms (did they got better or did just your acceptance of them increase)? Would be interesting to hear! Also, I wonder if you did you suffer from any mental illness in your life before HPPD onset. Thanks for reporting your case, especially that you got better. This always helps.
  3. Mine is also worsening for exactly 8 months now. From what I've read I'd say there is the highest chance of getting better or even cure within the first 18 months after onset. So it's too early to give up hope at this point of time, you still can get better. Did you do any drugs/meds after onset?
  4. Started Lamotrigine therapy 3 weeks ago. I'm on 50mg/day now and will increase the dose as long as the trade-off between effects and side-effects are fine. I think I already feel a mood-stabilizing and antidepressant effect. Although, sleep got a bit worse and visuals are still exacerbating. Anyhow, mood is the most important stuff so I'll continue.
  5. There is no recipe, everyone has to find his own way. But as it does not seem to do much harm to you, I'd say the best approach would be to just not paying attention to it. Weed can worsen it or prevent it from going away. For some people, it subsides after some weeks, months or years, for others it doesn't. For most people, every drug has it's time in their life - just like a partner, a job, sports or anything else. Life is transitory by it's definition. Sometimes it's hard to accept that you can't continue as before, but that's life. Be thankful that you just have a slight visual component. My visual symptoms are very similar, but I suffer from heavy mood swings, 95% negative, as well. It's getting worse for 6 months now. I don't know if my whole life will consist of suffering now. But we can both be thankful that our fate is not comparable with some others here who suffer from extreme symptoms on a daily basis. Some of them got so bad because they continued drug abuse after first symptoms occured. Be happy that your life is not ruined and that your hardest challenge is to find another hobby than tripping. When it subsided, I'd recommend to continue abstaining at least as long as the symptoms stayed. I had warning signals and made the mistake of directly start tripping again after they subsided. You have to be extremely cautious with acid. It's a highly underestimated drug measured at the amount of suffering it can bring to your life, even if used just a very few times. When I've read about acid, it was like "latent psychoses can happen to vulnerable people, otherwise worst thing that can happen is a bad trip". One source mentioned this "extremely rare condition called HPPD". Extremely rare. I felt so trapped after I read the study by Baggot that 60% of hallucinogen users had persisting or recurring visuals. Sure, most do not (really) suffer from the symptoms, but I really don't understand why this is not one of the FIRST informations regarding expected side effects from repeated acid usage. I never wanted to have a persistent change of my visual perception and I can't understand why this information is hidden in nearly any safer use advice.
  6. Hi, citing from Abraham HD. Visual phenomenology of the LSD flashback. Arch Gen Psychiatry 1983; 40: 884-889: "11 of the 12 subjects receiving phenothiazines reported a transient but definite exacerbation of visual disturbances". So there were 11 cases which got back to their old baseline after they stopped taking Phenothiazines. There is never a guarantee, but I think this gives a reason for optimism in your case.
  7. Hi & welcome! Could you tell more about how it was developing since end of 2016? Which symptoms did you have , did it went back completely to normal again or did you have remaining symptoms? Was it the first time you smoked weed after getting HPPD or did you do it in between as well? Did you had any mental illnesses before end of 2016? I think if you abstain chances are very good that it'll get better again.
  8. And still, we have just highly speculative numbers of prevalence and not much more than a bunch of case reports. This doesn't mean Abraham's work did not matter. In fact it's really important and a big part of what we currently know. But still, there are many basic question which are not answered with the necessary confidence yet. I don't want to discourage anyone. In the end we want the same thing. Being hopeful and positive is always good. I'm just a realistic and skeptical guy. Also, I'm an engineer. I always concentrate on problems that can be solved in the near future.
  9. No. I'm just telling that etiology research won't bring fast results and the ratio between costs and output / relevance for clinical practice is bad. When you put the money on more easy questions that are also not even answered yet, you'll have more results in less time and also have more improvement for HPPD patients and hallucinogen drug consumers. Also, the more information you have in general about the disease, the easier etiology research gets. That's why I say, it's too early to search for the cause, because we e.g. don't even know the prevalence and miss some general data like maybe some pre-existing conditions which encourage HPPD or effectiveness of currently used medications. As soon as we have all the basic data, sure we can also put focus on etiology research. As I said, when you're trying to build an airplane without even having a hammer yet, you'll fail. That's why you should focus to get the hammer now instead of getting stuck with dreaming of an airplane. Otherwise your dream will never come true.
  10. Believe me, that's not the right approach. You won't find the one damage. As I said, depression research has (and will always have) so much more resources and they didn't find "the damage". Or take a look at epilepsy. Much research about it, they didn't find "the damage". All explanations are very rudimentary and do not play a significant role during treatment. Our understanding of the brain and human consciousness is too basic, it's too early. It's like you're trying to build an airplane though you didn't even invent a hammer yet. HPPD research is resource-limited. It should focus on the easy questions instead of wasting resources with the hard ones that we can only really answer with a toolset that we don't have yet.
  11. I didn't say that medicine won't advance, I did say there won't be the one solution. Surely in 40 years HPPD therapy options will be better than today. But I'm very sure that it won't be like "HPPD is an up-regulation of THIS receptor and when you get THAT medicine, it'll cure within 3 months". As I said, just take look at depression. Are the therapy options better than 1980? For sure. Did we have a major breakthrough, a one and only solution what in the brain exactly causes depression and how to fix it? By far, no. So much research was done about it, and we still just can give some relief and help people to cope in most cases, but the cure is mostly still up to mother nature. And I think it'll be similar with HPPD in 40 years. Yes, medicine did advance. But we're far, far away from an utopy. Damn, we can't even cure a simple cold. 100% true, I didn't say that there should be no research. As I said, I just don't expect big breakthroughs in the fields of etiology and therapy options. Anyhow, I think with relatively few resources some very significant other questions could be answered by research. E.g. questions like: How big is the risk to get HPPD? How long does HPPD usually last? What are consumption patterns that can prevent HPPD with a very high probability? Which medication is helping the best, statistically? Under which conditions does it make sense to start the medical therapy? ...
  12. I think that most probably HPPD has, just as some other psychologic diseases, no exact common etiology. Causes, onset, symptoms, courses, medications that help are so distinct and individual. All etiology studies regarding HPPD are highly speculative and do basically admit that they don't know what they're talking about. For me it seems like the brain is a chaotic system and when it gets the right push at the right time, it somehow develops towards a different attractor. It's so complex, everything is connected. And our understanding of the brain is so rudimentary. I'm quite sure that there will never be the one solution, the one etiology, the one medication that cures most people. At least not in my lifetime. With cure I don't mean that people somehow find a way to live a good live with reduced symptoms, with cure I mean you feel >= 100% as comfortable as before the HPPD and you have 0% remaining symptoms. Just take a look at depression. There is so much research about it, but in the end therapies are still very limited. In heavy cases, people still just try one medication after another and if they have luck, they finally find one which helps. In mild cases, people just wait and for most it subsides somehow. Psychotherapy can help, but often isn't a cure. Even if we'd put 100 million dollars to HPPD research, I think that we would surely have a number of small successes, but still wouldn't have anything close to a major breakthrough in the fields of etiology and therapy options.
  13. I take valerian from time to time. It's a mild sedation, sometimes barely noticeable, but often also effective and helpful. Can reduce anxiety and strange feelings a little bit, also slightly helps with sleep. Especially in the beginning I had to be quite careful with dosing. The doses I needed seemed to fluctuate and overdosing felt uncomfortable. It doesn't affect visuals for me. Valerian is so mild it's no problem to give it a try. Whether it helps or worsens, effects are so mild that there is no risk trying it. I think most commonly it does not have any significant impact at all. I think I'm lucky that it often does a quite good job for me. Nowadays I most often take 450mg.
  14. Sleep got much better meanwhile, but Visuals are still getting worse. My psychiatrist offered me Lamotrigine now because he thinks we should somehow "interrupt" the worsening. I'm quite unsure if I should start a medical treatment at this point. On the one hand, my HPPD is overall still mild, but on the other hand it constantly gets worse. Initially I wanted to wait for at least 8 months before trying medications, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe my doctor is right and I should stop just watching it becoming (may irreversibly) worse. Will think about it within the next few weeks. If anyone has thoughts or input for me regarding this decision, please let me know.
  15. Hi! There is no empirical knowledge regarding the recovery chance. Anecdotal references point that for most people it subsides at some point within 12 months if they take care of themselves, especially in mild cases. Staying off all drugs is the right strategy. As an additional hint, I'd recommend you to avoid stress and get as much sleep as possible. E.g. staying awake for a night could lead to a massive worsening. Generally, never ever take LSD more often than every 1-2 months. That's what I learned after getting HPPD and talking to many people about it. I barely know somebody who took LSD more often than once a month over some time and did not get permanent aftereffects at some point. Expierienced, responsible long-term LSD consumers tend to take it max. 4 times a year. I wish somebody else would have told me this when I started to use LSD... Please keep us up-to-date regarding your course. Unfortunately, most people stop posting when they get better or are able to manage their state. That's why positive courses are probably extremely underreported and hard to find in the internet. Reading positive stories can really help other people with this condition. I wish you all the best.
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