Blossy
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Posts posted by Blossy
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On 4/14/2024 at 8:01 AM, Spartan said:
Wow yeahh. That sounds aweful!! Sorry to hear of your challenges.
Have a feeling my onset was around age 15.
Was too young to know anything of long term consequences... And too caught up in that world.
Main tab names I can remember were : Red dragons, Tiles, Blue gels, Robots, Microdots, Strawberries etc etc As well as other substances...
Yes very true, acceptance is definitely a key..
I've herd a few horror stories from people mixing psychedelics with pharmaceuticals..
No way I would ever touch any psychedelics now...
I'm having real challenges sourcing medication now (K) as I do need it at this time..
Occasionally I will use other things to help me do my best to manage while things are so heightened..
Cheers!
Thanks and all good - I don't let it stop me, sometimes I think I may go to the doc and ask for some kind of 'help', i've read so much about the drugs that have given some kind of relief on here ( anti seizures medication by the sounds of it one that is up there ) but not sure thats a road I want to go down - the best treatment for me is to try and keep the anxiety at bay and to keep moving forward - but hey, if there was ever a 'miracle cure, I'd be first in line!
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Crazy times Jay.
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On 4/10/2024 at 12:45 PM, Spartan said:
Yes LSD seems to be a main culprit.. makes two of us.
Super intense stuff.. I clearly remember the onset also.
Yes, that sounds pretty hardcore . I started using / dropping A way to young, with the influence of my older brother sadly.. so likely that is another contributing factor.
Agreed, I was 15 at the time had taken LSD ( Purple Ohms ), even typing that gives me 'triggers', had taken 2 half paper tablets on separate occasions, than 1 full one a few weeks later and totally freaked out at home - 1 week later I had a flash-back that was a 1:1 event of the week before and it absolutely terrified me ( still does ) and BOOM, my life changed for ever, my brain never ever went back to the way it once was, and HPPD was in my life, awful - but, it is what it is, and acceptance is one of the greatest things I have ever done with this condition, and in part to finding this forum and realising I am not alone, and it is actually a thing. I am almost 48 now, scary where the years have gone.
And yeah, age definitely a factor, as in my older years of taking alot of Extacy, and LSD ( usually with Vallium to keep me calm ( crazy thinking about it ) I was much more aware of what the drugs were doing to, me. I often felt when I was high on 'E' my symptoms were absolutely gone too, which to this day I still find a mystery, but defo not enough of a mystery to take anything again!!
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Agreed, LSD was 100% the cause of mine, I remember it every day of life but cannot ponder too much on it, 33 years ago no that fateful ( and horrible ) day that changed my life forever!
Continuing frying my brain into my early 30's was probably not the best idea also to be fair, haha......
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As Jay above, sleeping well and trying to keep stress ( usually from work ) at bay are 2 of my most precious treatments!
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Central Scotland here, where we are terrified of the men who terrify men and sheep.
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Strawberries, takes me back - Purple Oms (sp) wee the little blighters that really 'gave' me this crazy condition we all have - that and another 15 years of indulgence afterwards, but Purple Oms, they were the little sheets of paper that changed my life forever after 1 absolutely mind bending flash-back a week after another mind-bending trip that I was ( at the age of 15 ) NOT prepared for!!
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As above, 1 'tab', half a 'tab', of Acid - 1 E, 2 E's etc - usually purchased in darkness in a car park prior to a rave event or in a toilet of the same or in later years in a pub or dodgy house party ( when E went our of fashion and it was coke we were all blasting heavily ) - and often halfed with friend, almost always actually! A shame those amazing nights have had such lasting ripples, as they were amazing, would I change it, not sure, parts for sure, but man, some of the memories are good and only can be related to 'if you were there'!
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Palinopsia is one of my symptoms that organically improved - for me time was the greatest 'healer' of this. I mean, if I still 'look' for it and stare and then look away its there , but as a thing its definitely improved for me. Relax, stay away from booze and caffeine and drugs the best advice I can ever give after 30+ years of this.
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Soz, not been on for a while - and Kaleidoscope, out stories are very much the same - Jay, funny you mention pinching yourslelf, my latest 'thing' is popping my ears and giving myself a pinch on the cheek when im feeling really floaty as you say - these little things defo get us through this thing we live with!
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Stress is defo my worst enemy, I had a major flare-up in July last year ( funnily enough tho, it was after a heavy drinking session on red wine and Port and I had a case of the DT's and had a major panic attack ) and only now am I really feeling like 'myself' again and back to some kind of 'baseline'. The DPRD is and Anxiety the absolute killer for me, but thankfully now as good as they will ever be, barring some miracle or majic pill. And I took enough 'magic pills' in my time to know that generally they are bad.
Relax, eat well, sleep well, live well, think well.
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Just searched the topic for Valerian Root and found this thread!
In an attempt to naturally help with my anxiety I bought some "Kalms Day' and so far they do seem to be having a 'Kalming' effect on me. They seem to be completely natural too so combining this with the Vitamin B and living a generally well ( well, mostly.... ) good living i'm hoping to keep taking steps forward as far as my anxiety and Derealisation goes.
Also, I've been feasting on Pineapple recently, that also makes me feel good - weird I knowI
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Yeah, sobriety and eating and generally living well can clear a multitude of sins it really can.
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Im 45 now, and my HPPD started 30 years ago, i've not done E or LSD for 24 years at least, nearer 25 for sure.
The Sky is so bright here I honestly see nothing bar the sun burning my retinas when I look at it!
My snow varies, at night it's the worst, during bright days there can be days I do not even notice it. As noted above, mindset my friend, try to look past it and focus on the content of the life in front of you, not the quality of the picture.
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I honestly think i've had it my whole life, but it was really brought to the fore-front of my sight due to too many years of bad living though the Extacy and LSD years.
If I focus on it, I see it more, if I don't, I see it less. Generally!
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I had a bad time around 6 months ago, and my visual snow is the one symptom that seems to have increased too without going back to 'base levels'. At night seeing objects close to me is just a fuzzy and 'noised' mess, however, day comes and things are bright and the snow is there but I look beyond it, and as per all the symptoms we all feel in varying degrees not focusing on it is one of the best treatments. Mindset is our greatest ally in my opinion. Until there is a magic pill to make this go away anyway.
Being sober is a good idea, I had a rough night on the booze a few months ago and woke up in the night for tne bathroom and my snow was so bad through the pending hangover it was like waking through a swarm of bees - that was the night that I thought too much booze definitely can affect this so going sober for a while may be a good idea. Im generally a 'social grazer' on alcohol, rarely drink 'too much'.
For ref, i'm positive i've had VS all my life, as i've mentioned on here before when I was a kid I used to think, and say, I could "see the Air", which I now know, and although it is definitely MASSIVELY exaggerated since my hallucinogenic days, i've always had.
Focus on what's beyond the snow, I consider it as interference only, like watching a low-res movie online, and a standard def TV show - the content is still there, just not as sharp as you would like it to be.
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Haha, not weirdness at all, and indulgence is good, as long as its in the right things!
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Keep us posted Lucas, I am not one that likes to put too much in my body drugs wise, even the Vitamins I take id rather not so very keen to hear how the TMS goes.....VERY expensive here in the UK however!!
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It is comforting to Read these intro's and experiences, and as Jay noted above, and we share similar 'stories. Your experiences and also symptoms share many, many parallels with mine - I am also mid 40's, 45 ( 47 is mid right??? ) and have had lived and accepted this condition for a very long time.
As MadDoc and you have noted above, I also am convinced taking so many and so many powerful hallucinogenics at such a young age was the trigger on this for me.
Man, finding you guys on here has been the best thing for so many people in this HPPD journey, for me for sure. x
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As above - stay strong all, stay healthy, keep looking forward! x
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Done, actually felt good writing some of these things down!
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2 hours ago, Jay1 said:
Haha, well... If you ever were clubbing in Birmingham or any uk festivals, there's a chance we probably did share a sweaty hug at some point!
Hahhaha, good times my friend!!!
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On 11/21/2021 at 1:13 AM, Robbiebanks said:
Ohh ok just trying to compare your story with mine I’ve had hppd for 5 years from lsd..in that time I would still do mdma which now I see prolonged my recovery but at the time didn’t seem to make my visuals worse then covid hit and didn’t do any drugs or anything because I mainly did it at festivals so I think that got my recovery to 90 percent but maybe 2 1/2 months ago I did mdma again took to much and had a very bad come down where I was thinking too much and couldn’t sleep till 4 the next day..Now my symptoms have increased way more..the thing that bothers me the most tho is I feel in my mind my condition is going to get worse everyday which sends me in a worry,then anxiety then derealization I know it takes time just like I had to deal with it before but I’m just upset at myself because I relapsed…Haven’t done any drugs since and haven’t drank for a month any new advice you can share?or how are you doing with your condition thank you
Sorry, advice, for me the best advice is to try and manage your anxiety. You are definitely not alone.
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On 11/21/2021 at 1:13 AM, Robbiebanks said:
Ohh ok just trying to compare your story with mine I’ve had hppd for 5 years from lsd..in that time I would still do mdma which now I see prolonged my recovery but at the time didn’t seem to make my visuals worse then covid hit and didn’t do any drugs or anything because I mainly did it at festivals so I think that got my recovery to 90 percent but maybe 2 1/2 months ago I did mdma again took to much and had a very bad come down where I was thinking too much and couldn’t sleep till 4 the next day..Now my symptoms have increased way more..the thing that bothers me the most tho is I feel in my mind my condition is going to get worse everyday which sends me in a worry,then anxiety then derealization I know it takes time just like I had to deal with it before but I’m just upset at myself because I relapsed…Haven’t done any drugs since and haven’t drank for a month any new advice you can share?or how are you doing with your condition thank you
You know, in late 1996 I was taking alot of E/MDMA, and I swear, when I was massively out of it is when I felt the greatest release from my HPPD, by that time ( I was 20 ) I knew that mentally something had really gone wrong in my head, and the E/MDMA really did give me massive, and almost complete relief - but only when I was fully under the influence of the pills. Man, the human brain, what a piece of engineering.
Anyone try P5P (active vitamin B6)?
in Introductions
Posted
Ha, I gave it a go as well Jay, got 100mg from Amazon "Best Naturals".
One day in, 100mg AM, 100mg late PM - updates to follow......