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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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About Blossy

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  1. Im totally aware I do this but now my kids ( well, my youngest kid! ) has noticed and this has turned into family ' lets poke fun at Dad' thing - if only they knew the cause!! Hah! :-$ So, anyway, I have a really weird thing, and I quantify if my thinking, if I touch things 'they will be ok and won't start moving again', i.e., start tripping again! I mean, when I'm in the car, I regularly flick/tap the windscreen with my nail on my middle finger, sitting at home I do the same on tables if I'm walking past a wall to the wall, even lying in bed, ill often reach out and trap the wall, also to make sure its all still 'there'!!! My daughter says I often tap my self too, usually on the forehead, I mean, wtf!!! LOL Sometime I STILL have that sinking feeling when you are falling deep into trip, that horrible feeling in your mouth too, and wake up sweating and tap the wall to make sure everything is all right! Crazy I know, and note, I'm 27 years into living with HPPD so am pretty long in the tooth, and honestly, since joining this forum, completely at terms with it knowing I am not insane, or crazy, or on an endless trip ( even tho I think I am to an extent ) or the only guy in the world to have had 'this' happen to him! Anyway, just one of my MANY brain bending quirks I have after many years of abuse! Double note, 8 years drug ( coke ) free, 20 years Acid and 'E' free. Still enjoy alcohol, and caffeine, and I must confess, taking Vallium on a few long haul flights recently was pure bliss, although also reminded me of some dark times during the 'downers years'!!! Anyway, anyway. maybe its just me, thought id throw it our there anyways!
  2. Yeah, its definitely a crazy old thing, and honestly, I've never felt 'better' about this thing since I realised ( in the past week or so!!! ) its actually a 'thing' and I'm not the only person in the world that feels like this! Just shows you, well, in my opinion now, it really is a case of your brain playing tricks on you, your not mad, or tripping, or trapped in a mad-house, you need to be stronger than the symptoms - I think I am! Would still love to know the physics behind it tho, the brain doesn't do this for wow, nearly 30 years for no reason! And I still maintain, those mental years of my life had some of the best times, gotta take the good with the bad I guess! 🙂
  3. Thank you, and defo - and good for you! Its a CRAZY thing to deal with, and honestly, knowing that I'm not the only person in the world feeling like this, even after all this time, I feel better already - I know I'm NOT going mad - although I may be a little crazy from time to time!!! 🙂
  4. Same as me, 3rd time id ever take acid ( Purple Ohms ) and the first time id ever had any real crazy visuals, had a kind of freak out but it passed. 8 days later, smoked a bit of weed, went to bed and felt myself 'falling' again, straight into that mental bad trip id had just over a week before - ever since then its never really gone away, well, the ripples of it anyway, the 'flash-back' lasted all night, crazy visuals, thought I was forgetting how to breath, all sorts of crazy shit - to this day the trailers are there, geometric patterns on carpets appear, even that crazy feeling in your mouth when you are tripping big time comes and goes - I actually feel like if I really tried, I could put myself back into that super heavy trip from way back in the day!! I actually continued taking acid for another few years, usually offset with Temazepalm, pretty heavy Extacy use as we'll, some tablets with crazy trips attached to them too until I was maybe 22 or 23, then the Coke was the main thing, that I liked as it was non pschycadellic. Weirdly enough, some of the only days in wow, 28 years I've felt normal, and 'everything' was back to normal visually was when taking really good 'E', pure MDMA for example seemed to make me 'normal' again, crazy really! Dabbled with lots of downers too, smoked some brown usually to take the edge f mad cocaine sessions, really enjoyed taking downers as life get pretty 'normal' again in those times! Anyway, I've done no Acid for wow, 25 years, 'E' for 21 or 22, been coke and effectively Drug free for 8 years now. Its there, it aint going away, I watched a thing the other night that linked the 'over sensitivity' to light with a kind of 'PTSD' and then the anxiety, which kinda works for me, the strange sights are what they are, the fear or falling back into that 'bad trip' is pure anxiety - I need to be stronger than my HPPD, and I think I am. The human mind, what an amazing, and sometime scary place!
  5. Hi all, its only been in the past 2 days I've started to try and figure out what this 'shit' that goes on in my brain is, I'm under no illusions its due to LSD, as a lot on here are the same I'm sure - I honesty have felt ever since I've had this 'thing' going on I'm my life I was the only person in the world who was experiencing it, a life long trip that was never going away. Well, my symptoms started when I was 15, a long story of drugs and debauchery through the 90's Generation X fun and games that ill tell soon, I'm now 43, so have been living with this for a long time! Now I know I'm not, it was literally an internet search 2 nights ago based on my experience and a couple of Youtube vides that showed me I'm not the only person every to feel like this. Its part of me, I've had a good, healthy, and successful life, and am still doing so but man sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be 'normal. unless that would just be boring! Anyway, its great to speak to like-minded souls and hear of other experiences, I hope I can be of help to some and hey, maybe ill need some help off you guys too! P - UK.
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