Hi there my name is Tyler. I’m 19 from Australia and have recently developed HPPD. I have done some deep reading on here and on other webpages and have been overwhelmed by the feeing of uncertainty and just how different people’s experience with this condition vary. So with that I am seeking advice on how to deal with and adjust to living with symptoms. I will start with saying I have used marijuana on and off for the last year, have had LSD once in January and once in February this year and tried what I believed was MDMA three times spread between May and June. The last time I had MDMA I smoked marijuana at the end of the night and had a traumatic experience having to care for a friend who had a panic attack while on the same intake. Two nights after I smoked again by myself and this is where the visuals first presented themselves (very intense acid like) which I dismissed as just a bad trip and got too high. I didn’t touch any drugs what so ever since, 4 weeks later I woke up with the trails in my vision and panic set in not knowing what was wrong. Two weeks in things got a lot worse including VS, floaters, depersonalisation, depression, anxiety, and continued to get worse under stress including halos, flickering in my vision feeing like things were moving around me, brain fog. And I’m constantly worried that I am going to lose my mind as my symptoms have been worsening. I am seeing a psychologist and have seen a psychiatrist who has prescribed me mirtazapine to target anxiety and depression.
What I would like to know from you guys: is it normal that my visuals began 4 weeks after I touched any psychoactive substances, is there any rhyme or reason as to why my symptoms have been getting worse? Is mirtazapine an appropriate medication or can it make my visuals worse? I have been on it for three nights now and adjusting has made me feel like things seem to shake in my vision a little and things seem to flash across my vision and longer tracers. Finally I would like to say that I have been Keeping active going to the gym and runs, eating healthy, vitamin B supplements and teas, no caffeine and no alcohol while I adjust to this. I am now three weeks into having HPPD and would love to receive some support to know that I’m not alone and to hear that things will get better (whether that’s recovery or just getting use to things).