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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

sami

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Everything posted by sami

  1. First: You have not ruined your life. The advice is the same as for everyone else: abstain from all drugs. Even avoid caffeine. Anxiety makes it worse. Thinking about it all the time makes it worse. Try to occupy yourself with things. Hobbies are great. I did around 650 ug my (2nd) last time, and then did a small amount, around 70 ug 8 months later. Haven't done anything since then, even stopped weed which I had smoked almost daily for 6 yrs. Started developing visual snow 6 months later, and then got the rest (palinopsia, floaters, dp/dr, tinnitus, etc.) a year after that. First there is a lot of anxiety because of it, and that definitely makes the dp/dr worse. It has now improved with 95 %. I also got a bad depression after the big trip, and it's also a lot better now. Visuals are still bad, but I definitely don't think as much about them anymore, and life goes on. Things will get better, especially with your attitude, which feels quite positive in the way your write. Most important thing is to keep your anxiety in check, and not let the different symptoms make it worse. You'll be alright.
  2. @Jay1 How do I become a backer?
  3. Can't get it. I have Zopiclone on an old prescription.
  4. @David S. Kozin I can help out with the web development.
  5. Sounds like you had a panic attack, not uncommon with edibles. Regarding visuals, hard to say if you are just paying extra attention to things because of the panic attack. Some people get hallucinations from weed, especially if they've done hallucinogens previously.
  6. I've had PTSD since childhood and it sounds exactly like it's what you are going through.
  7. Yea, definitely obsessing about it, constantly looking for changes, stress, anxiety makes it worse. I think mine has gotten better by just forcing myself to do other things, even when it is at its worst. I basically also have OCD so fighting those tendencies at the same time is really difficult.
  8. Chronic lyme is extremely hard to test for. I do have a lot of other symptoms, I don't test positive currently even on the better tests, but it doesn't really mean anything, since all of them basically look for antibodies on active infections, i.e. your body is actively fighting it. If you have a lowered immune system it might not even fight it i.e. no immune response, no positive test.
  9. I haven't noticed it previously, but I've also been on a bunch of herbs for lyme disease for a month now, so I'm suspecting it might have something to do with it. This is the first time ever I've actually noticed a relief from anything at all with my visuals since everything started 1.5 yrs ago.
  10. I had pretty bad DP/DR during spring and now it's a lot better. I think there are different parts in why it is better, but in part I've become more used to my visuals (which during the same period have got worse) and I've been forcing myself to do things I used to enjoy even though it has felt really hard, like watching my favorite movies and TV series, play Xbox games, etc. I also started with Lion's mane mid June and I think it has helped a lot with brainfog and DP/DR, sort of giving me a nudge. I still fall back sometimes, the other night I had my first case of slight DP/DR in six weeks, probably related to me tapering off Zopiclone and increased visuals, and therefore slight increase in anxiety. It was slightly better yesterday, and back to baseline today. Might have something to do with a full dose of Zopiclone for sleep yesterday though, but also the case I got some really good deep sleep last night, and I definitely notice DP/DR is worse when not sleeping properly. I am sure it will get better, try to focus on things you love or used to love, small things, something to put your mind on other things, a lot of rest, a lot of sleep, no stress.
  11. I've only used Zopiclone, but I notice a big change the next day when I've taken it for the night with reduction of visuals and tinnitus. So my question is, those of you who have used benzos and stopped using them, or use them in periods, do you get an increase in symptoms when you taper them off before returning to baseline?
  12. Rebound from Zopiclone definitely makes it worse. Going cold turkey was what made mine explode in intensity. I was off Zopiclone completely for almost five months. Some of my symptoms improved during that time (photophobia, textual bombardment, palinopsia) but others kept on getting worse (visual snow, pattern glare, floaters, tinnitus). A month ago I got major sleeping issues again and decided I would risk Zopiclone use again, me being without sleep just makes my life worse, depression, anxiety, etc. Once I started I quite quickly noticed a further improvement in visuals, especially pattern glare, palinopsia and tinnitus. I even had a case of photophobia coming back before that, and it's completely gone now. Though, since there is the dependency issue, I am trying to get off it again by really slowly tapering it off. Been down to 1 mg per night past week and my visuals were really bad yesterday. By tapering it down anxiety is not that bad. Got a minor panic attack before bedtime yesterday and took a full pill again, and today my visuals and tinnitus have improved a lot again. So, Zopiclone really helps with my visuals and tinnitus but rebound is hell, and makes it a lot worse. Slowly tapering it down is the only choice but even then it gets worse. But I'm in doubt saying that Zopiclone makes it permanently worse. I believe I have other causes that keeps on making my HPPD worse, which is infection, so Zopiclone does when used give me some relief. I would prefer though not have to use it at all but I keep it for emergencies.
  13. I use Mirtazapine currently just for sleep. For it to work properly then you have to take a very low dose. Then it helps with sleep and doesn't really have any affect on depression. I take about 2.5-3 mg a few hours before bedtime. Have to brake the pill into smaller parts. I've been on Mirtazapine for several years. Was when I developed HPPD and quit it for four months just to rule it did not make things worse. Quitting it had no effect on my HPPD so I'm not especially worried now it would affect it somehow at these small amounts. Sleep is extremely important to deal with all the symptoms, so I think it's worth it right now.
  14. There could be something else, possible infection, that makes it worse. I'm in the same boat. Abstaining from drugs, living healthy, hasn't helped me. Lyme, mold, etc. could be the reason your hppd gets worse. After a while though I've gotten quite used to it. Still depressed about it but life goes on. DP/DR is a lot better once I got my anxiety in check. I'm treating my hppd now as it is a result of lyme infection and drugs, since I have a lot of other symptoms than just the hppd ones (joint pain, random pain, digestive issues, other neurological issues not covered by hppd).
  15. @justhere Have you looked into this? Since my symptoms has had zero improvement and instead kept on getting worse, no matter what I've done and what is recommended for HPPD, I've started treating a possible infection. I had neuro lyme back in 2008, and so seem a number of people in the forum have had before they developed HPPD. And then there are people with lyme who have VSS and who have never touched drugs, so I personally believe there can be some sort of casuality there, especially when nothing works. Might be worth investigating for you. Seek the forum for lyme posts and you'll find a bunch of interesting posts. We also have a discord group where we talk a lot about this, and a few people with reduced symptoms if you'd like to join.
  16. True. I don't know what the requirements are for running the forum but it sounds like an Azure or AWS shared environment that is rather traffic based than user based might be a cheaper solution. Maybe privacy is the issue then. What about a dedicated virtual server? Then you'd have full control. There are a lot of cheap options out there. I've used Lunanode in Canada for my Bitcoin projects, supereasy to have up and running, stable and cheap, Linux based.
  17. @Jay1 What kind of traffic are we talking about? Sounds very expensive.
  18. Maybe you temporarily need some sort of benzodiazepines that'd help you to deal with the anxiety. I can also recommend, once again, temporarily, something like Zopiclone for sleep. Do you have a doctor you can talk to about your issues? You don't have to bring the HPPD up if it doesn't feel comfortable. Also, finding a therapist to talk to should help. I have two myself.
  19. Here is a short thread on alcohol:
  20. Most often alcohol has not made my visual symtpoms worse. I've gotten completely wasted a few times, but try to limit it anyway. Last week I had a glass of red wine and it seemed to make my symptoms worse, but that's the only time it has happened, so it could have been something else. Tried a glass yesterday and it had no effect. It might have to do with how alcohol affects the glutamate and GABA receptors in brain. Alcohol actually lowers glutamate and increases GABA which is supposedly exactly what people with HPPD need. But there are those that do get worse symptoms so be careful.
  21. I've been completely off Zopiclone past two months looking for my baseline. And back then I took two pills two nights while having problems sleeping. Before that it was beginning of February last time. So basically all of my meds past three months except for those two nights, and now yesterday then. So yeah, super careful. Been on too many meds in my life - have no idea how much they've messed up my brain and maybe made me more predisposable for HPPD.
  22. I've had trouble sleeping but not anymore. Now I took it to calm me down for it makes wonders with my anxiety, better than benzodiazepine, plus I have a prescription. But I am super careful. Don't want to get dependent on it which did happen last year. Getting off them is what made my HPPD 100x worse in just 4-5 days.
  23. We talk a lot about how different meds affect HPPD but I am starting to wonder if it has more to do with how different medications affect our anxiety and stress levels, and it is in turn that what actually worsens HPPD.
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