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Zaskoruzo

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Everything posted by Zaskoruzo

  1. hey, everyone. nah, I didn't have guts to try LSD. Back in my younger days I did try some "mild" psychedelics, though. Like mdma or salvia. And, honestly speaking, that's where the history of my mental illness began - I developed hardcore anxiety disorder after one of my experiences with mdma over 10 years ago. these days I take microdoses of Amanita (0,5 - 1 gram daily), which helps me relax and sleep. the important thing is, I'm not tripping on it. a very low dose like that feels like a natural benzo-like buzz, without any truly mind altering effects.
  2. Yes, pregabalin and gabapentin are the only meds that help to a certain degree.
  3. Thanks a lot. From what I've read, however, SSRI's can easily make things worse (especially, anxiety). I don't want to rely on benzos too much since they have a serious addictive potential.
  4. I'm suffering from horrible anxiety all the time. Neither benzos nor antipsychotics help. I need help.
  5. Okay, guys. No jokes. DP/DR from weed. Dyscfunctonail family. Panic attacks. PTSD. Not afraid of anything anymore. Thinking about trying LSD or mushrooms. Should I do that? The reason why I'm asking is because that could be my last resort.
  6. Hey, guys. I actually posted my story some years ago. Here's the link: My story is actually pretty sad. Just to tell you briefly: 1. My HPPD was caused by cannabis use nearly three years ago. 2. Since then I've tried a big number of medicines (including depakote, benzos, truxal, quetiapine, pregabalin, gabapentin, phenibut) trying to cope with my symptoms. And even though, most of the meds did help to mitigate some of the symptoms at some certain times to some extent, in general, the things didn't get any better. 3. Got drunk many, many times (which, I know, was stupid) and ended up having horrible alcohol withdrawals, which also made my symptoms even worse. (don't repeat my mistake!) 4. Now here's probably the weirdest and most bothering thing. See, whenever you smoke weed, you normally experience how both time and space slow down. At least, that's what I used to experience being high on weed. And since my HPPD started, I was feeling those perception distortions for nearly a year. What happened next, however, was, my perception of time and space turned to OPPOSITE. Which means, time began to go fast and everything around me began to be so tense and "tight", if that makes any sense.. I just guess that it's kinda compensatory effect (since I actually felt that time and space were pretty much slowed down for nearly a year). And, of course, my anxiety and inner tension have grown wild due to that. I just wonder, if any of you guys have expereineced anything like that? What helped? Do you think there is still a chance for recovery? Appreciate all of your suggestions and comments. Stay strong!
  7. I just wonder if any of you guys suffering from HPPD ever experienced disturbing physical (or let's say psychosomatic) symptoms like an increase in blood pressure, especially while having a panic attack or dp/dr? Personally I started to have this like a year ago, i. e. back when my whole HPPD story actually began. And now I take some psychiatric medications with sedative effect to deal with that. I just hope that the psychogenic hypertension will go away as soon as my HPPD is over completely..
  8. Hey there. I was wondering if any of you guys ever tried valproate or depakote for treatment of HPPD, as well, as dp/dr? If yes, how did it work for you? I actually used to take valproate for treating my anxiety and bipolar issues, which kinda did work, in a certain way. And I heard that anticonvulsants actually have demonstrated efficiancy in treating some patients with HPPD. So what do you think?
  9. What about panic attacks? Can they be somehow related to dp/dr?
  10. Hey there, everyone. I'm a bit confused so I'd really like to hear your opinions about my case.. In April, 2018 I smoked a joint. I smoked just a little bit, not even the whole joint, but apparently the sort of weed was quite strong - the strongest one I have ever smoked in my life. Immediately my mind turned into a very dream-like state full of weird and scary images and I even couldn't help but got some long lasting visuals (that seemed more like surreal strange movies taking place right in my head) each time I closed my eyes while lying on the bed, which I know may sound like I actually took some psychedelic and not weed back then but no, I'm 100% sure it was pot - I actually used to smoke weed quite often back in my college years so I definitely know for sure how it feels being high on it. The trip as such lasted for some time, I don't remember for how long. The problem is, though, some of the effects didn't disappear for even weeks after the trip ended. Like I mean even after weeks and months I still felt like everything around me (including cars, people etc.) was moving very slowly, I hardly could focus on anything, and once I looked at some certain object, I couldn't help but kept staring at it for many minutes, kinda half-willingly getting into the very essence of that object, if that makes any sense.. I also had this weird perception of distance, which means sometimes things seemed to be further from me than they really were and sometimes they seemed to be closer than they were. The reality in general became kinda vague and uncertain. I also developed some terribly hardcore panic attacks (which I had already had before). I took Depakote for 2 months or so and I took benzos for 2 weeks several times trying to cope with my condition. So the thing is, right now I still have some slightly changed vision. And I don't mean I can see objects moving, breathing or anything of this sort. See, it just feels like objects around me are kinda frozen or statuesque. Like I still may unwillingly stare at those objects for some time, if that makes any sense. I also had depersonalization/derealization for a few months but thank God, they disappeared. Now the world feels more real again. But! I still have terrible panic attacks from time to time. And they just happen for no reason. The horrible thing is, they may last for hours and hours. So what I do is I just keep pacing around my room with my hands and knees shaking, my heart beating fast, and feeling very tense and anxious inside my whole body. Do you guys think I have HPPD? P.S. It' been 9 months since I smoked that weed, didn't do weed again anymore. and, just to summarize, some of the symptoms like DP/DR are no longer there but my vision is still changed to a certain degree and panic attacks bother me a lot.
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