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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Zaskoruzo

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About Zaskoruzo

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  1. Hey there, everyone. I'm a bit confused so I'd really like to hear your opinions about my case.. In April, 2018 I smoked a joint. I smoked just a little bit, not even the whole joint, but apparently the sort of weed was quite strong - the strongest one I have ever smoked in my life. Immediately my mind turned into a very dream-like state full of weird and scary images and I even couldn't help but got some long lasting visuals (that seemed more like surreal strange movies taking place right in my head) each time I closed my eyes while lying on the bed, which I know may sound like I actually took some psychedelic and not weed back then but no, I'm 100% sure it was pot - I actually used to smoke weed quite often back in my college years so I definitely know for sure how it feels being high on it. The trip as such lasted for some time, I don't remember for how long. The problem is, though, some of the effects didn't disappear for even weeks after the trip ended. Like I mean even after weeks and months I still felt like everything around me (including cars, people etc.) was moving very slowly, I hardly could focus on anything, and once I looked at some certain object, I couldn't help but kept staring at it for many minutes, kinda half-willingly getting into the very essence of that object, if that makes any sense.. I also had this weird perception of distance, which means sometimes things seemed to be further from me than they really were and sometimes they seemed to be closer than they were. The reality in general became kinda vague and uncertain. I also developed some terribly hardcore panic attacks (which I had already had before). I took Depakote for 2 months or so and I took benzos for 2 weeks several times trying to cope with my condition. So the thing is, right now I still have some slightly changed vision. And I don't mean I can see objects moving, breathing or anything of this sort. See, it just feels like objects around me are kinda frozen or statuesque. Like I still may unwillingly stare at those objects for some time, if that makes any sense. I also had depersonalization/derealization for a few months but thank God, they disappeared. Now the world feels more real again. But! I still have terrible panic attacks from time to time. And they just happen for no reason. The horrible thing is, they may last for hours and hours. So what I do is I just keep pacing around my room with my hands and knees shaking, my heart beating fast, and feeling very tense and anxious inside my whole body. Do you guys think I have HPPD? P.S. It' been 9 months since I smoked that weed, didn't do weed again anymore. and, just to summarize, some of the symptoms like DP/DR are no longer there but my vision is still changed to a certain degree and panic attacks bother me a lot.
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