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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

billy

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About billy

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  1. Before I had HPPD I used to have a ton of things I looked forward to. Vacations, hanging out with friends, going out on the weekends, hiking, seeing my family. Now I am to worried to look forward to anything. I have a hard enough time getting through the day. If I do things out of my normal routine it often results in my symptoms getting worse, and having a panic attack. It feels like there's nothing left to look forward to, except a lifetime of trying to alleviate my symptoms. What do you guys look forward to? Were you guys eventually able to do the things you used to love?
  2. @jbalsa2 thanks for saying so. It's nice to have people who have some understanding of my situation. I am so scared that my life is ruined, and that I'm going to ruin the lives of my family as well. It especially kills me seeing my parents trying to help me, and not being able to tell them the truth cause I know it will only hurt them more. My dad just recovered from surgery, the last thing he needs to hear is his child is a fuckup. I am going to talk to a psychiatrist soon, hopefully they will be able to prescribe me something that might help.
  3. @jbalsa2 Thanks for the advice, It makes me hopeful. I was wondering how you were able to find a doctor to prescribe this sort of thing. I feel since it is off label most doctors would be against it.
  4. @jbalsa2 I've been dealing with the symptoms for almost two months. DPDR is definitely my worst symptom by far. I also have a pretty extreme amount of floaters, and some mild visual snow. I have periods when I feel normal, (especially when its dark and I can hardly notice the visual stuff), but when It's bright and I see the floaters floating around each time I move my eyes, and the glimmering of the VS on the sky I lose myself. I've become like reclusive only staying inside cause I can't handle lights. This is what people usually notice.
  5. Hi guys, I'm struggling really bad with this shit. I can't deal with being outside when it's bright out, and anytime i move my eyes I feel like shit is moving in my vision. It's really affecting me and people are starting to notice I'm different. My parents especially notice that something is up. They can tell I'm avoiding things and that I'm scared. I told them It's just anxiety, and they keep expecting it to just go away. I keep thinking I should tell them what is really going on. I think they would be supportive, if a little angry, but I'm afraid that it would destroy them to think that I might be like this permanently. I can just imagine them crying as soon as I leave, and I don't want them to suffer for my sake. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to. I am talking to the counselor at my college, but all she keeps telling me is to do these deep breathing exercise which will only calm me down until I open my eyes again and start seeing things all wrong. Have you guys told parents/ other people/found someone to confide in?
  6. billy

    Blank Stare

    I feel like this a lot. I feel like I have the look of fear, and indifference on my face at all times. It reminds me of the Pink Floyd lyric about their original guitarist Syd Barrett, who suffered from mental illness most assume was from acid, "Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky" 600 × 450
  7. billy

    Is this HPPD?

    Thank you for your reply I very much hope you are right. It's just hard to dismiss because I see the floaters all the time now, and the onset was the day after I tripped, so it's almost certain that something happened.
  8. This guy on reddit said it cured his, he only had it for 3 weeks though. Dare to hope lol.
  9. billy

    Is this HPPD?

    Hello All, I did 2 tabs LSD a little over a month ago. Ever since then I haven't felt right. The first thing I noticed were floaters, I had like 20 that I could see. I thought that the LSD had caused a retinal detachment, and a week after the trip went to an optometrist who told me I do have a few floaters, but nothing serious. I've noticed them before but never as crazily as this. I also noticed a sensitivity to light, like if I looked at the tv right it would make me very uncomfortable. Since then I searched the Internet for floaters related to LSD and ended up learning all about about HPPD, and the other symptoms. I can't tell if I have the symptoms or not because they are so variable. Sometimes I am sure I have visual snow, other times I can't see any. I have moments when I feel depersonalized, and moments when I don't. sometimes lines look wavy and other times they're 100% straight. I feel like I might see starbursts on lights at night, but I didn't notice that until I read about it and looked for it, so idk if it's really any different than normal. The only symptoms that are 100% there all the time is the floaters, and light sensitivity. They are so noticeable when move my eyes, and make me very uncomfortable. Also staring at a projector screen or the sky is really uncomfortable. Do you guys think this is HPPD?
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