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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

stupidk

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  1. stupidk

    I have HPPD. And I think it’s being mismanaged.

    I relate to your post so much. I took MDMA one time in June my first time ever, had severe DP/DR for a couple of weeks after smoking weed a week after my roll. Have had some minor hppd I believe show up but one thing I’ve been doing is not taking anything. I’ve read so many horror stories about how SSRIs gave people full blown hppd or make symptoms worse. I’ve taken Xanax a few times which got rid of my DR/DP. What are your symptoms?
  2. stupidk

    Did I hallucinate?

    I’m really confused about what I just experienced. Was working out at the gym and during my workout I noticed some sparkles appear in my vision. I stopped working out and kept looking at them. I was frightened and then I thought maybe there was glitter in the air so I reach out to try to swat it away to see if it was really there and it was not. I then looked at the ground and saw the floor cave in for a second. I was pretty freaked out so I left the gym... has anyone experienced this.. I thought my visuals were better I barley notice anything besides the mild static in low lighting and rare after images and eye floaters in the sky..
  3. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    I’m really noticing halos around lights now. My symptoms remain the same but I guess I’m noticing them more? Visual snow in dark rooms, eye floaters in certain lighting, slight afterimages if I look for them, I noticed last night when I moved my eyes up or down while driving the car light trailed with my eyes for a second while I moved them, if someone takes a picture the flash light stays in my eyes for a while... will this get any better... no drugs coming up on 4 months. Barley drink but I still drink the tiniest bit.. wtf I just want my life back.
  4. stupidk

    HPPD Story & Introduction

    Will someone explain their after images to me. I have after images against walls (if someone is against a wall and I shift my eyes I will see the outline of object almost in a “light” version on the wall) and if I’m looking at a light the light stays in my vision longer than It should (can’t tell if it’s bc I’m looking to see if it is there or not). Was also wondering about trails... I see a trail of light when I’m in the dark and wave my phone around, isn’t this normal? I can’t tell what “normal” is anymore 😕
  5. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    Could use some positive feed back. I am dealing with this a lot better I’ve started going to the gym and it’s reduced my anxiety tremendously but I still see things that scare me. I believe I had pre-hppd bc of the grainyness I see in low light, the eye floaters in certain lighting situations, after images when I look at something against a wall not all day everyday, and halos around lights at night (although my friend said she sees that’s too so I’m not sure if that’s hppd but I thought I would include it). I was hoping who had mild hppd and it went away could respond and let me know what they did to reduce it and how long it took for it to go away. I am not using any drugs now or every again have been clean since June I know to avoid drugs at all costs
  6. stupidk

    Do I have HPPD or something else?

    How Are you now
  7. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    How severe was your hppd before you started taking the antidepressants? I can’t even tell if I have hppd but the floaters and the occasional after image I see if an object is against a white wall makes me think I could have it idk...
  8. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    I read that anti depressants can give you mild motion blindness and if you stop taking them that symptom goes away? Have you tried to stop taking them and it went away or is it from the hppd and never went away
  9. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    Is it a good idea for me to start taking lexapro if I could possibly have mild hppd? I can’t take the obsession of wondering if I have it anymore... seeing after images when an object is against white wall very briefly, not seeing visual snow outside but I see grainyness in low lighting, eye floaters in the sky but not all the time... someone help
  10. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    Also, sitting in class currently and staring at the floor I notice one of the chair legs near where I’m staring is disapperaring out of the corner of My eye..: is this hppd or a normal phenomenon. Also the chair looks like it’s swaying a bit. And I notice I have after images if I stare at something against a white wall.. was wondering if this is also normal. Like currently my professor is sitting in front of a white wall and when I look at her and then look at the white board I see this green and purple light out her outline for a second then disappears but if i look anywhere else in room I don’t see the after image
  11. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    Can someone also explain visual snow to me? I see grainyness In low dim light situations on the walls but if I pick up my phone I don’t see it on my phone screen or if I turn lights on and go outside.. is this visual snow? Also this morning when I opened my eyes I really noticed the grainyness for a minute and I blink a few times and it subsided
  12. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    I’m never touching a drug again. I’m just worried it’s going to get worse. I’ve read posts on here that’s people had it very mild and then got it full blown.. I can’t tell if one day I’m going to wake up and have it. I have such bad anxiety over this. 3 months clean now I still drink tho because I’m in college.. also update on my eye exam~ doc said I have no eye floaters in my eyes so that means it’s coming from my brain ... great.
  13. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    I am staying away from all drugs haven’t touched anything & never plan too. Just wanna be out of this nightmare.
  14. stupidk

    am i developing hppd?

    Hello. I am currently not a sufferer (i don't think) of hppd, but there are some things I've noticed that make me concerned that I am in the early stages of getting it. To start this off, I smoked for about 2 years, not very often, but still have smoked weed. The drug that I am concerned about giving me hppd is MDMA. I took MDMA at a music festival in june. When I was rolling, I threw up about 30-40 minutes after ingesting a capsule of .15 gram tested MDMA. I was anxious about rolling so i went into it scared, and was anxious on the pill (no surprise there). After a while I had a great time and eventually it wore off about 6-7 hours later. While on MDMA I saw halos around the moon and lights and colors were mor vibrant. The stars in the sky were glowing more and it looked like people were walking in slow motion. I was full of energy after my throwing up and anxiousness and loved the moment i was in and my friends. The next day I didn't feel down, I was actually energized. I saw a halo around the moon the next night... never have seen that again though. That night however, I felt myself come down and was feeling blah and had very bad anxiety. This anxiety lasted 2-3 days. Than a week later I had my first panic attack. A week after that panic attack, I had no anxiety... until i went out with a friend. I drank a lot, smoked, and ended up being delusional. I believe i had a panic attack from the dab pen i smoked. I thought i was dying and kept telling my friend to tell my mom i loved her and if i got any worse take me to the hospital. From that night on i suffered EXTREME anxiety. I had DR/DP, dizziness, and nose/head pressure. One day i was so freaked out sitting in my car, I looked up at my house and saw my roof cave in like it was breathing. This has been the only time I have ever seen anything "breath". This all went away eventually besides the anxiety. In august, i believe i began to notice eye floaters. I've never had eye floaters before in my entire life. I still see them outside in the sky or against a bright light or if I'm out in the sun. They are not in my field of vision constantly. I also noticed halos around street lights, traffic lights, car lights. I feel as if this is normal however but just thought I should mention it. No visual snow but i am noticing visual noise that i believe everyone see's because I'm hypersensitive and looking for it. Randomly i have seen a line of light appear in my vision, this recently started this month as well. And during class I have seen a light form around my professors if they are standing near a white board and when i move my eyes the figure of their body appears in the "light" that i saw. this only happens occasionally however. Also my eyes hurt by the end of the day, I can't tell if its because I am staring at my computer/ phone screen all day googling my symptoms. I have OCD now trying to figure out If I should be concerned or not. Going to get my eyes checked today about the floaters... but need advice on if I'm developing hppd. I am afraid I am going to wake up one morning and its just going to be there. Im not a heavy user in drugs. Literally only took MDMA once.
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