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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Everything posted by therocknamedwonder

  1. All finished! I hope everyone who is able to complete this study takes the opportunity to do so. Here's to hoping it'll lead to future studies on HPPD!
  2. Wow, thank you so much! That's very helpful. I really appreciate that, that makes me feel better. Thanks MadDoc! ((:
  3. Are you sure your symptoms couldn't have been enhanced by the joints? And doing 24 whippets? Because that sounds like a lot of extra stuff that I don't plan on doing. Weed is what triggered my HPPD to go into full blown hppd, so I'm not going to touch it until at least two years after my symptoms go away. I really hope you're doing okay, that's a whole lot of drugs in a very short span of time. I used to be a moderate user of quite a few things, so I can't really scorn you. But my personal recommendation would be to stop doing drugs (especially ecstact, K, and weed, which have all been known to cause & worsen hppd) while you're ahead if you're already having some symptoms. Sounds like you're really rolling the dice my friend. I hope you're doin ok! Thank you for your input ((:
  4. I've read on countless posts that exercise has helped a lot of people. But for me, exercise makes my symptoms MUCH worse. Both visually and mentally. Even on a brief walk, my symptoms increase exponentially and I get that 'heat wave' effect in the middle of my vision, which I find the most distressing. It's almost completely stopped me from skiing, which Ive grown up doing, because it gets so bad. Is there any types of exercise that might not aggrivate it so much that would be beneficial for me? That might stimulate brain growth and make me healthier? Thank you so much!
  5. I've already tried kratom a few times before I had HPPD, I'm more concerned about how it'll affect my symptoms now that I have HPPD. It was helpful for my chronic pain, but I'm concerned it might aggravate my hppd or make it worse! Ive never tried valerian, thanks for your insight! I've been sober for over 6 months of all drugs (i used to be a user of more than a few of them) except for the occasional drink and my nicotine addiction LOL. Meditation doesn't seem to help me at all, only makes it worse )): Thank you so much!
  6. My dentist reccomended I get my wisdom teeth removed when I went in for my appointment today. I know it's necessary, but I'm scared that the drugs they give me during/after the procedure will make my HPPD much worse. Wether that's permanently worse or temporarily. There's the anesthetics they use during the procedure & the pain killers after (one is ibprophen and the other is an opiate.) Should I be concerned? My hppd is mild-moderate, but it already interferes with my life quite a bit and I'm rather scared that the drugs could make everything worse. I'm terrified of it reverting back to when I first got it. My symptoms were horrible, and I feel like they're manageable now. Any thoughts or advice would be extremely helpful.
  7. Has anyone had any positive effects OR negative effects with kratom or valerian? Specifically red vein kratom. Does taking either of these plants affect your HPPD? In what way? Thank you! 🙂
  8. Hi there! It definitely sounds like you have HPPD. Welcome aboard. I've also had HPPD for around 5/6 months now, and I know how tough the first few months are. You can feel really scared and alone, and before I got used to it I didn't know what to do. Thats where the forum comes into play. People on here can really help you feel better but also just... less alone. And that's important. My first bit of advice is to just stop smoking weed (if you are still doing that). It's a drug that does not mix well with HPPD, and can not only trigger it (it triggered mine) but make your symptoms much worse. Quitting weed is for the better! The first two weeks or so after during withdrawal feel so horrible, but after that, it's a lot better. Quitting all other drugs is also beneficial, both the hard stuff and even stuff like caffeine or nicotine. I also have the sleep disorder stuff. I had very vivid lucid dreams for a few months, but the medication I'm on helps a lot! It's called clonidine. I have a much easier time falling asleep, and my dreams are less vivid and less terrifying as well. It's a blessing. I also take lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer that most other HPPD-ers find doesn't irritate their symptoms. However, medication is up to you and some people prefer to go without. I've also heard klonopin helps. Although they can't solve your visuals, they can help a lot with the emotional symptoms. I'd recommend seeing a doctor if you can find one that'll listen to you. I know it sounds crazy, especially now, but it'll become normal after a while. Please look more at the forum for coping mechanisms and possible supplements that might help you live day to day. But keep in mind, everyone with HPPD is different. Thing that work for others might not work for you, or the other way around! Keep experimenting and keep your head up. We're all in it together. I hope you start feeling better soon ❤️
  9. From everywhere I've read, SSRI's usually make hppd worse )): Klonopin seems to help some. People with hppd usually try to avoid SSRI's as a treatment for HPPD/depression/anxiety. As much as the general public would have you believe, doctors don't know everything. YOU are your best advocate, period! If your doctor is ignoring your symptoms/thoughts/feelings, especially concerning a medication, that's a red flag for sure. Doctors should always have your care in mind, and unfortunately some do not listen. Not saying that is the case, but even before I had hppd I had a doctor like this. My best advice is do your own research, and advocate for yourself. If your doctor doesn't listen to you about what's not working for you, perhaps it's time to look for another one if you're able. Unfortunatlely, doctors don't usually know much about HPPD. There is no exact pathway for a cure medication wise. Ultimately, do your own research and just know it will take time to find what works for you. Try not beat yourself up about how your HPPD came on. Try to focus more on reducing anxiety and focusing on recovery ((: It'll be much better to look forward rather than to be upset about the past, especially something that cannot be changed. Good luck!
  10. Good luck! If your son is looking for immediate but short time relief, I've read that benzos ( like xanax or something like that ) can help with that. Unfortunately they're rather addictive if you use them all the time. Best bet would be to see a psychiatrist if you're looking for medication. Again, does not work for everyone, but might be worth a try if he is really suffering. If they don't believe your story, keep looking or try to explain. It's hard to find doctors who know a lot, if anything about HPPD. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! You are your sons best advocate! Look at possible treatments on this forum or online. Just keep in mind there are no official studies, it's usually a case by case basis. Therapy/meditation/reducing anxiety are ways to deal with HPPD without medication. They can help with day to day dealing with hppd. Best of luck to you both.
  11. I'm sorry to hear your son has very serious hppd. It's a hard thing to deal with & ik it can be super rough, especially if your symptoms are not easy to ignore )): I am unfortunately not in Australia, I'm in america. I can't speak for others on the forum. I think stress & exhaustion make symtoms worse for everyone across the board, so most people try to remove both of those as best to their ability. I've found if I push myself too far, either sleep wise or work wise, my symptoms get way worse /: Many people on this forum recommend meditation, reducing anxiety, maintaining a good sleep schedule, and removing excess stress. Some people go on medication, although there isn't necessarily a 'tried and true' route to fixing/improving hppd. For some it works, for others it does not. I don't think people can go on disability for HPPD which is unfortunate since it can really inhibiate people's ability to work, let alone their quality of life. There simply is not enough research on this complicated disorder. I wish you & your son the best of luck! Look on the forum for more info on how your son can improve, but know that ultimately time is the best healer ❤️
  12. I developed hppd over 2 months ago. For a while, it seemed to be getting better -- but now i seem to be on the decline. Everyday I wake up & my visual snow is even worse than the day before. I woke up today and the whole room seemed as if it was vibrating. When I first developed hppd I didn't even have visual snow, now I can't even go outside do to night blindness. I keep developing new symptoms... Does that happen??The only difference is that recently I have upped my dose of lamictal of 25 mg to 50 mg, and I am currently taking 0.15 mg of clonidine a day, as well as a benadryl at night to sleep. I don't know what to do. I feel so hopeless, I can't stop thinking of just hanging myself to get away from all this. Should I stop lamictal? could that be affecting my symptoms? I thought it was supposed to improve them. Should I try keppra? I'm desperate. I don't know what to do anymore.
  13. I would say even drinking should be avoided. You should give your brain its best shot to heal, and drinking is pretty awful for you all around. Most people have mild hppd & then it gets triggered by something... Not always just out of the blue. It's happened, but I don't think that's always the case. From what I gather, most people's permanent & major hppd was triggered by SOMETHING. Drugs, stress, etc. Try not to focus on the negative what-ifs, that will just increase your anxiety around your symptoms as a whole. Sometimes people wake up with new symptoms or find its worse, but from what I've researched, it gets worse after a triggering event. Don't beat yourself up over doing MDMA once, or think you've completely fried your brain. Your symptoms are extremely mild. I think you'll be fine. Many people on the forum find it best to stop all drug use, which I agree with. Abstaining from all drugs is difficult, but gives you the best shot in long run. Instead of focusing on the what-ifs and causing yourself more anxiety, I would say distractions and focusing on stuff to help you heal would be best. You sound like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety, so I would suggest maybe looking for natural ways to calm down. Meditation, breathing exercises, exercising, etc... Time, patience, sobriety, and regulating your body are your best friends hands down. listen to your body. If you are getting early/mild hppd symptoms, avoiding drugs PERIOD is a good call. But if you treat your mind and your body well I'm pretty sure you'll be alright. Take a few deep breaths and stop freaking yourself out by obsessing over possibilities that may or may not happen ❤️
  14. If you do have HPPD, it sounds rather mild. My best advice is to listen to your body. I would stay away from all drugs, especially psychoactive ones like MDMA/LSD/mushrooms/weed. Yes, even weed... But all in all, don't do ANY drugs. In my experience, the more you focus on your symptoms, the more apparent they become. Anxiety around your symptoms can also make them worse -- it's a vicious cycle, but at least in my experience, focusing on your symptoms & having anxiety around them just makes both the symptoms & anxiety worse. Just stay away from drugs & I'm guessing you'll eventually be alright. Just stay clean, distract yourself, get lots of sleep and try to avoid stress.
  15. My symptoms were very very mild before the full blown hppd. Slight trails, halos. However, whenever I would smoke weed I would basically start to full on trip -- I had visuals similar to a low dose of mushrooms. I even had mild auditory distortions. Yes, I was smoking weed before the 'full blown hppd'. I only have moderate hppd I believe -- and for that i'm grateful. I didn't know I had hppd before I had my acid flashback smoking weed. I read your introduction post & in my opinion if you do have hppd, it's very mild. Stay away from all drugs, even nicotine if possible, and I'm guessing it'll go away. Not an expert by any means but it does seem extremely mild & that's my best advice. STAY CLEAN. Don't make the mistake many ppl did on this forum and push your limits ( including me ). You have the warning signs, now listen to them! Best of luck to you ((:
  16. That's not necessarily true, I've found that a lot of stuff I used to do before has caused me even more anxiety. Right now i'm just gonna focus on healing and trying to rest, maybe changing my diet & learning meditation/point mechanisms. Btw, I'm a lady
  17. I've already been doing this, so great to hear you think that's a good idea... I've been somewhat treating my hppd like a brain injury. Trying to just get lots of sleep, avoid stress, and relax. I've noticed lots of deep sleep seems to improve my symptoms, even just for the day. Thanks again ((:
  18. I'm trying my best to give myself the best shot to heal! I think I am actually slowly improving, or at least I'm becoming more acclimated to my symptoms. My head feels more clear than it did initially, although a lot of stuff remains unchanged. I'm trying to keep hope ((: I've been sleeping around 8-10 hours a night, which has helped a lot; I think a lot of people with hppd would agree sleep deprivation makes it a lot worse. What kind of exercise would you reccomend? everytime I've tried exercise, oddly enough it makes my symptoms much worse. Thank you so much for your kind words ((: Like you said, one day at a time.
  19. Thank you for the welcome! That's honestly so nice to hear... I'm trying to make the decisions that will be best for my brain and body. As far as medication goes, I would love to live without them, but the anxiety and depression (which I already suffered from beforehand) have become absolutely unbearable. Is there an alternative to medication you can reccomend? Perhaps some supplements or any other day to day tips?
  20. Ever since I've developed HPPD, I've noticed that my dreams have become much more vivid and just overall... strange. I've always had vivid and memorable dreams, but nothing like this; I'm dreaming multiple dreams a night that are all distinct and just... odd. They seem to have no basis in reality and are very very bizarre, often having nightmare undertones. Is anyone else experiencing this symptom? If so, have you found anything that gives you relief? please let me know, as it causes me immense anxiety before going to sleep /:
  21. I know exactly what you mean about the 4kHD vision. Ever since I've developed HPPD, i've noticed everything is much sharper & colors are much more vibrant. thats definitely the symptom I mind the least, although sometimes it's strange. It can add to my DR, because it makes the whole world look fake -- Everything seems to be in extreme HD, with sharper outlines and more intense contrast. Whack shit.
  22. Hello All, PS: I'm sorry this is so long, but i'm desperate... Although this site seems to be fairly inactive, I am still glad to have found people who also suffer from HPPD. I'm 18, and I only fairly recently developed intense around-the-clock symptoms around a month and a half ago; but I think I may have had very mild HPPD for around 3 or so months before that. I've only done acid once, mushrooms a handful of times, as well as K & a research chemical (given to me without my consent). I think my case is extremely rare, as my initial alarming symptoms were brought on by smoking weed, which was especially disheartening since I have been smoking several times daily since I was 14. It was horrible. I had an indescribable acid flashback that lasted around 26 hours ( I experienced full blown hallucinations, both visual and auditory ), that ended with me taking a trip to the hospital, due to the fact I had believed I had experienced a psychotic break. I have been sober since the incident, except for nicotine, which I also quit a little over 3 weeks ago. So now I'm completely sober. I'm currently also starting lamictal on a low dose (25mg) and I take clonidine x2 times a day for the accompanied extreme anxiety (.5mg x2) My visuals include some of the usual stuff; VS, after images, halos, heightened sharpness/saturation on everything, wavy walls, difficulty focusing on small patterns, tracers, trails, floaters esp while looking at the sky, etc. I also have DR/DP, as well as weird head feelings, tittinitus, and strange dreams. Truthfully, I am on here looking for support, knowledge about my newly developed condition, and just connection with people who understand. I would love to talk to people about HPPD who know what living day to day with this condition is like. No one I know has HPPD and it's scary living life day to day with all my new symptoms. I have hope that they will get better, but I know it's a slow healing process and I would love guidance & just someone to chat about how hard living with HPPD can be, especially being sober. It's difficult. Please reach out if you feel so inclined ❤️
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