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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

scaredhuman

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  1. scaredhuman

    jbalsa2's keppra thread

    Great to hear it's working for you!! How's it going now? Considering trying it myself, and intense visual snow too is my worst symptom.
  2. scaredhuman

    new here: my story-- a month into HPPD from heavy MDMA + K usage

    Hey, hope you're doing okay. You seem to be in an okay frame of mind which is great. One thing I cannot overemphasise is to stay away from hallucinogens. I mean it's your choice but I was a regular MDMA user (and hadn't tried any hallucinogens) for a couple years until developing HPPD. I first noticed HPPD visual symptoms from my first acid trip. I never did acid again but continued to do MDMA regularly for a year after that, noticing no difference to my symptoms whatsoever, in fact within that year my symptoms faded to barely noticeable. Then I did magic mushrooms for the first and last time and everything changed, I woke up in a completely different world with my visual perception completely changed, intense DP/DR, etc. I now will never touch any drugs again, very sadly because I loved MDMA. But it is just not worth the risk. It's now been 6 months and my vision is exactly the same as the full-on HPPD onset, if not worse. I'm coping a lot better but there were a lot of suicidal thoughts in the beginning and I would give anything to take back that trip. Having said that you got your symptoms from MDMA so it may be worth avoiding that as well. I know that sucks to hear but it just isn't worth the risk from what I've experienced. Also, funnily enough I was the same as you with MDMA. When I was either really fucked, or coming down from being super fucked, I used to see fluorescent colours on everything and people's skin would look pink with yellow stars on it - something I see now on most people's faces in lowlight. Also whenever I shut my eyes on MDMA I'd have this square in the center of my vision with all kinds of weird, video game, cartoony shit playing through it. No one else who did MDMA with me would have these experiences, I wish now looking back that I could've known this was a sign somehow. Sorry if this is another lecture telling you what you don't want to hear but it really is worth knowing and considering whether it's worth the risks... Hope you're all good!
  3. scaredhuman

    HPPD question for who had been recovered

    Hey dasitmane, do you think anything helped your VS go away? or was it just random? Cause mine is quite bad and is probably the main symptom that bothers me at this point. Thanks
  4. scaredhuman

    Have some questions for you guys (sorry long)

    Well I passed out due to being too drunk so I'm sure that was a terrible way to take psilocybin mushrooms and can't comment at all about the dreams, I'd pretty much forgotten even having taken the mushrooms when I woke up in a complete other dimension-like trip Funnily enough I actually felt a lot better for the few days after than I had in ages, felt like I'd worked some stuff out I'd needed to, then the HPPD hit and completely flipped - and did feel like i was in a dream-state or sort of purgatory Wish I'd been as knowledgeable as you are/in a good state at the time
  5. scaredhuman

    CoQ10 and vitamin D

    Seems like a good sign if some part of your visuals has already been changed! Hope it goes well It says low Coq10 can cause chest pain and i've been getting lots of chest pain since my HPPD got really bad, which I assumed was anxiety, but seems to come about at times when I think I'm feeling fine, so maybe it'll be helpful to me also
  6. scaredhuman

    Have some questions for you guys (sorry long)

    Thanks, just ordered some online! Have you ever tried Oxiracetam? It says those two go well together
  7. scaredhuman

    Recently prescribed Verapmil.

    Sorry I have no experience with medications, just wondering if you could tell me a little more about your experience with Sinemet as I'm considering trying something and my worst symptom is static/snow Hope you find something that helps, take care
  8. scaredhuman

    Have some questions for you guys (sorry long)

    Thanks so much for responding guys It's good to hear from someone else who got it from mushrooms cause I'm not sure how many people on here have - it's weird to see posts from people saying mushrooms may cure it???) And I think we all are must be a bit different to have our brains effected in this way Thanks and I'm glad you've 'beaten' DP/DR in that way I've only had LSD one time and mushrooms one time and both were the times that I developed mild HPPD, then made it far worse I don't know, just feeling very low as the last few days my static's been getting worse - but it's only been a month so guess I just have to keep pushing through
  9. I’ve been trawling through this forum and seems like you guys are really helpful – not sure who’s active anymore but anyway I have some questions. Sorry it's long, if you’re feeling helpful but not up to reading then skip to the end :-) I’m 20 and developed HPPD from LSD maybe 13/14 months ago. Light tracers, afterimages, visual snow, seeing colours etc. It caused me a bit of anxiety towards the beginning but it must have been very mild because it hardly bothered me at all. I could’ve very easily lived with it. I did MDMA multiple times in the following year, and some coke and keta, none made any difference to my HPPD, so I just linked it to LSD (wasn’t sure what it was really). Just over a month ago I had mushrooms for the first (and LAST) time. Trip was extremely intense, I passed out and then it was like I’d woken up in another galaxy, but not a terrible experience like some you hear. About a week later I woke up with insane visuals, everything moving around, colours vibrant, people’s faces looked pink and yellow. I was vomiting and could hardly stand up. I felt like my life had ended, like I was no longer myself at all. I was seeing through a fish eye lens, my voice wasn’t my own, everything was moving around me like on a boat (I also have sea sickness so that didn’t help haha), brain fog, paranoia, crippling anxiety, muscle spasms and pain. Im lucky enough to have a psych ive been seeing for the last 5 years so had that support. I found out a lot of the non-visual symptoms were anxiety-related (brain fog, muscle spasms, paranoia, and some worsening of visuals). I actually still feel as sharp as ever, just distracted by my visuals a lot of the time. My anxiety hasn’t been as bad, I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression before so that part I can handle. It’s the fucking DP/DR that gets me, have never experienced it before and its hell. It got so bad I thought I was in a virtual reality simulator and my memories were all fake. And the visuals are definitely the cause – how could I not feel like things are fake if everything looks fake? I’ve been very up and down in managing it since then but still functioning, seeing friends, doing uni work, trying to get out and do things, exercise, I already ate pretty healthy. Symptoms now: everything permanently looks like a mild acid/mushroom trip, covered in very heavy static, nothing looks solid, colours very vibrant and stuff moves in my peripheral vision, and sort of wobbles in and out of shape when I look at it (with all the afterimages, light trails etc. but I was already sort of okay with that stuff and can deal with it), and DP/DR. I am feeling depressed but that I can deal with. So my questions are: do your visuals (the static in particular) ever fade away or will I just have to get used to them? Or as it’s been just over a month since it got really bad, is it worth having Klonopin, Sinemet or Keppra now or should I wait? I was thinking sinemet could be worth a try, even though it hasn’t done much to a lot of people, it seems to have the least side effects and I want my DP/DR to go away. Or should I just get some Klonopin for the days when it gets really bad? Very luckily my dad’s a doctor and completely believes me and is willing to prescribe me anything I think will help. (I live in Australia and have heard it’s hard to get it recognised at all here) Sorry for the long ramble and thank you so much to whoever replies <3
  10. scaredhuman

    Four-year Anniversary

    Hey Felipe, that's awesome news! I was wondering, what do you think has helped you the most throughout this? Thanks
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