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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Steve

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  1. Steve

    PTSD, HPPD, and looking at the snow?

    Hi everyone, My name is Steve and I’ll share more of my story in the coming weeks. I’ve suffered with HPPD for 47 years. It started after the last time I took LSD in my sophomore year in high school, and has continued 24/7 until today. I’ll be 63 in June. It got much worse when I was 45. It was stress related (public speaking) and my symptoms (all the visual stuff we all experience) got so unbearable I finally saw a good doctor at Stanford. We’ve tried pretty much every med in the book, but the only one that gave me relief was Klonopin. It was a life saver for me. I function pretty well, but anxiety is present most of the time. I really try to avoid the things that make the visuals worse, like stress and fatigue. My doctor has been a huge help, and we have looked at some of the underlying issues I have that have gotten worse as a result of HPPD. It sucks! The good news is you learn to live with it and I can say that I’ve had a good life. For over 25 years, I thought I was the only person on the planet with this condition! I knew they weren’t flashbacks, because it was with me all day every day. It’s weirdly comforting to know I’m not alone, but I hurt for everyone that has this condition. I haven’t taken drugs since the last time I dropped acid (it sounds weird to say it now) except for smoking some pretty potent pot one time. I was full on hallucinating when I smoked, so I guess you could say I was scared straight. Please find a good doctor, avoid stress, anything that might produce anxiety, and find some meds that work. Blessings, steve
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