...

I will give the sunglasses a try Jay! It would definitely look better than tying a black scarf over my eyes, that I have sometimes been known to do. Ugh! In thinking about over-stimulation I realize also I have a steady symphony of noise or tinnitus that adds to the ruckus. I've survived thus far!

Happy New Year everyone! I want to ask if others experience light sensitivity? This is perhaps a secondary symptom, for me anyway, that I attribute to over stimulation of the endocrine system via HPPD. I am not actually sure that the endocrine system is actually stimulated since HPPD is perceptual, however! I would like to know what others experience or know in this area. I have structured my own life around limiting light, living with natural exposure without electric and basically going to bed with the chickens. Kaleidoscope here....

Happy New Year to you too, Jay and to everyone! I also would chime in to all, be of good courage! You never know what life can bring, but I can surely say don't be overcome by HPPD. I remember well my first Christmas with HPPD, long before anyone had a name for it! This would have been maybe 1972? And I only 13 years old! Wow, we travelled to be with cousins and boy was I in the twilight zone! I must really say that understanding and defining this syndrome actually helped me to be in command of it. I wish you all courage and skill and above all faith to unmask and master this thief We call HPPD. So far...so good! Kaleidoscope

Thank you for sharing your story! You were very fortunate to find such a Dr. In those days!

Yes Jay, our loyalties to family sometimes must obscure our dreams! I love the idea of living in a houseboat and also thought of this many a year ago! That would be a trip!

Or, if this is a bit too New Age there are many monasteries. It is customary to be able to visit a monastery for 3 days and receive hospitality. There are very secluded and quite ones to the North. One step leads to another and before you know it you are living your dream! Also, have you thought of Woofing?

Would like to add that in pondering this malady or fine mess we`'ve gotten ourselves into I often feel it brings on sensory overload. For me the lights never go out and the noises never quieten down. Do you know what I mean? For this reason I really gravitate toward a very quite way of life. I don't even have electricity and I'm in bed same time as my chickens. To visit places that have big screen T.V.s is overwhelming and the thought of going to a movie would be pure torture. Needless to say it leads to a less than sociable life. A traffic jam at night in a city might send me to a mental ward.

Thank you Jay! I am super paranoid of anything that alters my state of consciousness...little late for that but sure don't want to add any fuel to the fire!

Haha! I do look a little spacey huh? I'm doing good. I still face all the visuals such as floaters, trails, colors, breathing walls just to name a few. These are toned down considerably but still there and more apparent when in a crowded busy place or if I am tired. As I mentioned the de-realization is the worst but I've just learned to sail through it. For me, it has been better to get my mind off of it as much as possible.

Jay, just curious, is De-realization the primary perception of what you would call tripping? Just trying to pinpoint since the feeling that somehow your feet aren't quite on the ground would fall under de-realization, no? The term is one I had never heard of until a few years back via this forum and when I read it as one of the symptoms of HPPD I couldn't believe I had finally found a name for this perception. In thinking about this particularly it comes on when I am fatigued, in a different place or in a crowd and perhaps from too much caffeine. Thanks Kaleidoscope

Spartan...prayers and well wishes for you!

Jay1 this sounds so much like my experience. My very first trip was with Lsd-Orange Barrel double-dome in 1969. It was way too much for me! I remember the feeling of de-realization and it was this sensation that made me feel out of control. The only person who was aware of my " flashbacks" was my older brother and when I was in any situation with a lot of people I would ask him to keep a watch on me simply because I did not feel I was there. Of course, I didn't have a name for it or understand it but it was very frightening. I would like to study more about this particular perception. Any recommendations right off hand? Thanks!

Oh dear! I've not quite felt like an Orange as of yet...but who knows what's down the line?

Hi Lancer! I was recently considering how very frustrating it has been over the years to explain to a Physician about HPPD and they haven't a clue about it. I did this with every doctor I had, including Eye doctors, general practitioners, obstetricians and even neurologists. This is since 1971.I think that of itself as enough to make me 2nd guess the reality of my flashbacks or if I was imagining them. I've yet to find a Dr. Who even knows about it. Sigh. I developed HPPD in 1970 after a year of experimenting with Psychedlic drugs. I was 12. It is only in recent years that I discovered this had a name. When I read about it, it was as if I was reading about myself. What a relief! Actually it was a friend all the way in Russia who told me about it and suggested I join this forum!

Hello everyone! Kaleidoscope here! I haven't posted in awhile but want to mention that the problem of de-realization is worsening the older I get. So, now, it has been exactly 52 years since I developed HPPD. I am about to become 65 and since I am sensing age in many ways I also am noticing the escalation of the de-realization phenomenon. This has been for me the very worst symptom of HPPD. It seemed like, so far anyway, that symptoms were not worsening but lessening, but, not lately. I think I must have the very most severe case I've ever heard of. I was but a child...by the way, in this photo I was almost 13 and had developed HPPD about a month before this was taken. I simply didn't know what would become of me!

Clean, my visuals at times are worse,, like during sleep deprivation or stress. In general however, they have become less. I still have the experience of de-realization and this for me is the worst symptom of all. It is this that makes me feel really stoned again and actually as I remember it was what I didn't ever like about LSD trips. I am a bit concerned about how this may increase with age. All in all I am maintaining pretty well!

Yes...it seems if I am in any sort of weakened state such as illness or even lack of rest my symptoms are stronger. Good reason to do all we can to stay healthy and rested!

No Jay I have steered clear of meds based on trying to take anti-depressants at one point in life and feeling these aggravated hppd .. I would be afraid to actually do anything else. Really looking forward to new discoveries made regarding what psychedelics actually do to the brain. For many years before discovering hppd it was rumored that LSD actually remains in the system. I believe this is not the case but would like to understand what actually happens to cause the perception pathways to remain open. Thanks for your work Jay.

I would not add insult to injury by taking any drugs. For me, the best is a good natural way of life. It is the closest I can come to having my feet on the ground again...almost on the ground.

50 years for me with HPPD. I was 12 when I began taking LSD and continued for the school year until I was hit with HPPD at the beginning of summer 1970. It has been a huge help to finally know that this is a reality and that others experience the same. For most of my life I suffered this alone. I have adopted a very quiet life. I avoid a lot of light and sound stimulation. So...I've survived this, had a big family but find I have to sit in the dark corner sometimes to untangle from too much stimulus. I have gravitated toward a minimalist way living somewhat like Old Order Amish. My life has been molded by HPPD without my realizing! Knowing about Mad doc and now Roderkarlsson and others makes me feel sad for us! Like Clean says no ones seems to believe... and knowing we are not alone is a huge gain. I spent 45 years alone in this and it definitely affects your personna. My hope is that this does not worsen in old age. We are on the frontier because I suppose we are some of the first to experience this. Just what will develop in older yrs is yet to be experienced. Well, God help us! God has helped me to weather it so far! Happy New Year! Kaleidoscope

I'm still streaming along 52 years later. My biggest fear and uncertainty at the onset of HPPD was how high I might get and whether I could "maintain" or not. In my case, the experience has not elevated. I have maintained. The feeling of de-realization seems to increase when there are a lot of people and events like the holidays. I realize that my life has been partially molded by coping mechanisms like living a quiet life, avoiding crowds, noise, lights and excitement. Yet, I feel I'm the better for this way. Wishing you all a good New Year! By the way did I miss the survey?? Kaleidoscope

I'm still streaming along 52 years later. My biggest fear and uncertainty at the onset of HPPD was how high I might get and whether I could "maintain" or not. In my case, the experience has not elevated. I have maintained. The feeling of de-realization seems to increase when there are a lot of people and events like the holidays. I realize that my life has been partially molded by coping mechanisms like living a quiet life, avoiding crowds, noise, lights and excitement. Yet, I feel I'm the better for this way. Wishing you all a good New Year! Kaleidoscope

Hi everyone! It has been awhile since I've posted here! I want to tell you that the most unsettling symptom of hppd for me has been the de-personalization and de-realization experiences. I first had hppd at age 12 after a year of LSD, Psyllicibin, Mescaline use in 1969-1970. I still have all the symptoms and basically never came down from a trip. I should say, rather, I did not come all the way down. I was so afraid of what was happening to me...for many years. For the majority of my life I thought I was the only person with an eternal flashback! A friend from Russia told me about hppd when I scolded him for using drugs! When I discovered there was a name for this I actually read the symptoms that had become part of my life for decades in secret. It was quite helpful to find this finally. I had asked all kinds of doctors through the years about "flashbacks" even going to eye doctors but none seemed to know anything about it. Eventually, I learned to live around it and I have done just fine. I'm 63 now...hppd has not gone away and I figure I just opened other perception pathways. I've accepted it. It was a very costly mistake to experiment with drugs and it did not spare me. Yet, I really am doing quite well and don't let it bother me anymore. So, my advice would be to live as naturally and healthy as you can, stay away from drugs and move on. Life is good...And colorful! Trust God! Love and peace- Kaleidoscope