Kaleidoscope

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About Kaleidoscope

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  1. I am also interested in this topic. Back in late sixties the rumor was that LSD caused mutations in chromosomes. But I too would like to know if some are predisposed to acquiring HPPD. I'm going to guess so.
  2. Im learning from this forum that HPPD is not simply our distorted perception but that actual change in the brain takes place. So, let me clarify my previous comment to Slowmovinginaburningroom....The walls aren't really melting or breathing and the good thing is we have presence still to know that! The walls really aren't decorated with floating pink and blue Paisleys and we also know this. What is hard to "filter" is de-personalization and de-realization episodes. I still experience these and there are definitely triggers. Even so, just "knowing" that these are just part of HPPD keeps my boat steady and moving onward, whereas for most my years, 48 years with this, I never even heard these terms described. I so agree with Jay about avoiding certain prescriptions unwary Drs give.Also, Because it seems we are bombarded with stimuli ie. Colors movements, halos ,white noise etc etc , a calm life is essential. Things such as strobe lights, loud fast music, crowds, send me hiding in the woods! I wonder if other HPPD folks have sensory overload? God bless us all.
  3. Hello! Kaleidoscope here. I am wondering if different activity shows in brain scans of HPPD patients? I find this forum so interesting! Thank you.
  4. If you do in fact have HPPD, just realize it is your perception. Go to school, or whatever you need to do! Stay away from drugs. Yes, life is every bit worth living! The brain is quite remarkable at re-routing, just give yourself time and don't panic. That was my first reaction also. Survive!!
  5. Hello Everyone! Wow! I have only recently discovered that continuous flashbacks have a label! I have had HPPD since I was 12 years old. Now I am 60. I spent the school year dropping LSD, Psycibin, Mescaline, and Marijuana. One time I simply never came down. It intensified soon soon after. I knew of no one else who had this like I did! I was simply terrified! I only told my brother, not my parents. My biggest fear was that I would get uncontrollably higher. I had every symptom but the very worst was the feeling of not being fully present. The experience was like just arriving in my own body but realizing I had already been doing whatever it was, but not with full presence. Maybe this is "de-personalization"? I would explain it to various Doctors and Opthalmologists through the years and all I got was "hmm....."! So, I finally just learned to cope. Then about a year ago I found the name HPPD. The casebook description of symptoms were as if they had read my secret diary! I know that I was never diagnosed or believed, but I know what drugs I used and when the HPPD started. Now it has been 48 years! Definitely some of the symtoms are not as vivid as in the beginning, however, if I get tired or in a conglomerated atmosphere there they are. I also think after so many years these just become part of your normal perception. For me, HPPD did not go away. How did I cope until now? I definitely quit any drug use immediately. I gravitated toward a simple Christian way of life, actually living with Old Order Amish at times, where I was not bombarded by electric stuff. I think those who have HPPD will seriously have to deal with sensory overload and seek out a peaceful existence on many levels. Live your life anyway. I raised 7 children, grandchildren and life goes on, just looking through Kaliedoscope eyes! Be healthy! Be smart and realize sometimes one stupid mistake done in youth can change your life forever! In my case, I just wanted to be cool in 1969! I really didn't realize the risks. How true it is that we reap what we so! I want to cry...that I lived my whole life with this and never found anyone else with this or knew even that it was recognized! The only report on flashbacks I ever heard of said that they think LSD creates new neural pathways in the brain.That was maybe 30 yrs ago! Wow! I am truly impressed at my own survival! Trails, pulsating breathing walls, tinnitus, time slowing down, colors, everything. Even dialated pupils. Sigh. How exhausting at times! It has helped me just to keep in mind that my own perception has been tweeked.My chemistry was altered. I would not wish this on anyone! But, if you have it, just live your life as peaceful as you can. Do everything you normally would do because your heightened perception maybe can be helpful in other unexpected ways. Don't do anymore drugs. Dont tell others who may not understand. We've been tricked by the devil's potions! God bless us all!
  6. Curious how long HPPD has lasted for others of my generation of the Sixties. I started HPPD at age 12. I am now 60 and still have it!