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SeekingLife

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  1. Hey guys, So I had stopped using this forum a while back, since I essentially came to terms with my HPPD and was leading a successful life. I’m no newbie to HPPD (been more than 3 years at this point), and so I have had time to cope with the reality of my situation. However, after a trip abroad at the start of this year, I developed intense insomnia which eventually resulted in anxiety that I could not control. I had not been seeing a psychiatrist or therapist at this point, but anxiety is by far the worst thing I have dealt with in my entire life. I feel exhausted every single day, and w
  2. Hey guys, it's been a while since I've needed to use this forum but I find myself in a rut again. Hopefully I get over this recent stuff like I have before. Bit of a long post so bear with me. I’ve had HPPD for upwards of two years now, and have been coping with it fantastically. The first year or so was incredibly rough but I got past that and haven’t looked back. I cut out every drug except nicotine, adderall (which I am prescribed), caffeine and alcohol, all of which I handled with ease. However, at the start of the month, I went abroad to study pretty much on the other side of the world. T
  3. Hey guys, So I’m at a pretty big low right now. I’d been abstaining from weed for months now, until a friend convinced me to try it again over december. Long story short it ended in me tripping out heavily with a ton of anxiety attached. Life got pretty strange for a bit after that but I learned to recuperate and was in a good place. Now I’m back at college after break, and all of a sudden a week ago I noticed a certain patterned carpet at a dinner I was at and started tripping. I’d never tripped sober prior to this incident, and now a week later, today to be exact, I was sitting in
  4. I personally don't have experience with antipsychotics, but after having HPPD and obsessively searching stuff online for about 6 months now I can pretty confidently say don't mess around with those. Nearly everyone says its help is only very, very short term and that once you decide to go off your visuals will be unbearable. So you could either keep taking benzos, get better temporarily to the point where you develop a tolerance, and then have an insanely horrible experience tapering off them, or just not mess with it at all.
  5. Hey all, been a bit since I've posted here. I've been holding up well, and even though I get the occasional DP/DR, I'm managing. I'm heading back to school real soon, and was wondering if anyone had any experience with non-stim ADD meds. Used to take Adderall, but had some really bad DP/DR the day after, and have read that in general stims are not great for HPPD. Doc just prescribed me some Intuniv ER (Guanfacine HCL ER) and said it should kick in after a couple weeks. I'm worried if I should even start taking it though, and pretty much no one has any input on non-stim ADD meds with HPPD onlin
  6. Hey all, been a bit since I've posted here. I've been holding up well, and even though I get the occasional DP/DR, I'm managing. I'm heading back to school real soon, and was wondering if anyone had any experience with non-stim ADD meds. Used to take Adderall, but had some really bad DP/DR the day after, and have read that in general stims are not great for HPPD. Doc just prescribed me some Intuniv ER (Guanfacine HCL ER) and said it should kick in after a couple weeks. I'm worried if I should even start taking it though, and pretty much no one has any input on non-stim ADD meds with HPPD onlin
  7. Check my posts out dude. I was bugging exactly like you, except my symptoms were much worse and I was going to college. Now, whenever I move somewhere, or turn my head, the object in my peripheral vision looks like it's moving towards me (i.e. a wall, ceiling, etc.), I have floaters a ton, blue entoptic not only when looking at a blue sky, but at a white sky, computer screen, white sheet of paper, white wall, etc. Even still, outside does not feel the same, and it feels almost like a movie with the lighting and colors and all, all after one tab of acid. Do I wish this shit was gone? Of course!
  8. My bad, I phrased my original concerns poorly. As of now, I'm getting plenty of sleep and have no insomnia, but to do this I've been skipping early classes, studying less than I should, etc. What I want to do is actually be normal on low amounts of sleep like I used to, as we don't really live in a culture where an 18 year old college student can get 8-9 hours of sleep without compromising valuable time. I was just wondering if there was any way or method to function on little sleep without every HPPD-related effect blowing out of proportion.
  9. Hey all, Just wondering if anyone has had success, or done anything, in regards to coping with symptoms that arise from lack of sleep. Currently, I'm in school, and I really can't afford to be bombing exams and missing assignments as well as skipping classes in pursuit of enough sleep. This also worries me for the future as it severely undercuts my ability to do many careers that I've been interested in my entire life. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  10. Jesus man, complete censorship is no way to live. I cut out drug use, drink alcohol occasionally, get as much sleep as I possibly can in college, and this shit happens? I appreciate the advice, but this is just too crazy of a lifestyle change for me, especially after one tab of acid. I seem to be pretty high up on the spectrum for symptoms considering my situation. Only done a handful of drugs in my life too as I'm freshly 18... Adderall, weed, alcohol, and acid. That's it.
  11. Hey guys, At first with HPPD, all I noticed was some slight balance/vertigo issues, but it's been evolving little by little. I had some bouts of DP/DR which I've overcome mostly, as in the world still looks slightly off but I feel mentally here, and I've noticed slight visual snow and entopic phenomena on pretty much every bright surface. These are things I can cope with. However, something that hasn't shown itself till yesterday and one I legitimately cannot take is CEV's. When I close my eyes and it's dark enough, I see full on scenes play out in my eyes. I was sitting in the library,
  12. @TheMythos@K.B.Fante Really? I mean, there were days where I felt so much worse a couple weeks ago, like where it legitimately felt like I wasn't myself anymore, and that I was looking at the world through some fuzzy glass. It was extremely difficult to talk to people, and they were probably the worst days of my life. Now, I feel much more grounded, and can talk to people, but just don't feel the sensations of emotions in my head. The outside thing, in more detail, feels like my vision is sort of worse, and every time I look at patterns outside, like this one pebble garden or trees, there's a
  13. Hey guys, So I posted last week about some visual symptoms that I've been going through, but I have some other issues I'd like to speak on. For one, I feel like I can't "feel" any emotions in my head. I was hanging with a friend yesterday, and laughed a decent amount, even really hard at one point, but never "felt" in my head that it was funny. I purposely tried to evoke sadness by watching some sad videos yesterday, and felt nothing. It's not like I don't feel like I'm in the world like DP/DR stuff, but it's more a legitimate lack of being able to feel any emotions in my head. Another t
  14. @MadDoc My history is really only that one tab of acid. I mentioned shrooms because I had assumed at first that my friend and I would do shrooms but all he had was acid. Aside from that, it's only been liquor and weed, and a whole lot of both, but really I've had no other experiences and don't plan on having any more in the future. Even 100 mics was super crazy. Really for me the worrying thing isn't the halos, or the starbursting, but it's this fucking imbalance where objects, the ceiling, the hall etc. seem to tilt in the opposite direction as my head. The ceiling is the most disorienting th
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