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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

justhere

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justhere last won the day on May 7 2019

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  1. Hi all, Ever since I took 10mg Paxil way back in August 2017 I’ve struggled with this condition, despite having it since 2011. For whatever reason the Paxil brought on dp/dr which has unfortunately worsened up until the present. Some of the further exacerbations were due to trialing meds (modafinl, bpc 157, even Sinemet temporarily) but the majority of them were nocebo/psychosomatic reactions that produced real, lasting, physiological changes. I have Pure O OCD (which is the reason I got on Paxil in the first place) and it’s precisely my OCD which has caused me to worry about certain foods,toxins, second hand pot smoke etc. making me worse—these days even slight attention/internal scanning will amplify my dp and knock me into a further trippy state. My brain is essentially triggering itself somehow. Even when I wake up in the morning, if I don’t get out of bed and accidentally drift off this will sometimes send me further out into dp/dr. Ruminating and stress of course sometimes knocks me further along the continuum. I had to modify my life greatly and give up on some experiences/goals that enriched my life. Essentially I’ve always done this as this condition has steadily worsened. But I always habituated and made peace. I’ve also not touched meds in a couple of years, not counting clonazepam which helped only with anxiety for a while until I had a, what I now believe was, psychosomatic negative reaction that made my dp worse. I haven’t had a baseline for about a year and I am starting to slip. Having this get worse every couple of weeks and now everyday is incredibly frustrating. I have Diazepam, Lamotrigine and Briviact (similar to Keppra) also Magnesium Glycinate and Lion’s Mane Ive said this before but I am positive that I will not be able to achieve a baseline, even for a few weeks,on my own without help. Also my diet is decent with plenty of fish, coconut milk, walnuts and Ive been staying fit even while indoors. No drugs for years. No booze for 1.5 years. I don’t want to feel forced to trial meds again but I am not sure what I choice I have. Just looking for support. Wishing you all the best always and especially these days.
  2. Diazepam. I also have some supplements that I may try before the diazepam. I also may give Lamotrigine another go. After that I’ll have to start experimenting
  3. I’ve said this time and again on here... I’ve slowly been worsening, having mild periods of stability, and then worsening again. Stress and environmental triggers and OCD. I haven’t done any drugs and have taken no medication. I’m now unable to live a normal life, sleep and “fake it” like I had been doing for the past couple of years. My nervous system needs help. I had a lot of hope in what the Visual Snow Initiative is doing among others but I need help soon. Have a few prescriptions and will be starting neurofeedback up again. Beyond that it’s not in my hands. Thank you all for the support-treatments are coming.
  4. Serotonin Syndrome-while I don’t believe I ever had it...after I took the Paxil (10 mg) almost two years ago and got the DP/DR at first I thought that’s what I was experiencing (tragically even though I had had hppd for many years by then I had no idea ssris were contraindicated...my condition was so mild I barely visited this site+ I had been on Paxil w/ hppd prior with no change in symptoms) I will definitely look into Gabapentin, I know we tend to have luck with anticonvulsants although Keppra did nothing for me personally and Lamotrigine has yet to be determined. I really do feel the chronic inhibition at the front of the brain...it’s like I can’t reach into myself...or like my brain is hyper aware of itself and has disassociated...implicit subjective experiences do not happen naturally (nostalgia, qualia...”old feelings” as I call them) I’ll even flub up reading sometimes and miss out on tone (sarcasm etc.) or even fail to put proper spacing between words, ideas.. I really wish someone had access to Pimavanserim (Nuplazid) I suspect a 5ht2A inverse agonist could really help.
  5. I’m already feeling a bit better since my last post...hard to say why but my guess is, as always seems to be the case, I’ve adapted (I don’t believe my actual symptoms have shifted back)... if I can manage to work with this—find some enjoyment, keep the stress down...then I can figure out my next move... thanks
  6. When I took clonazepam I never noticed a difference with visuals (no decrease while on; no increase when it’s through)
  7. I really don’t know... my symptoms (essentially just the dp/dr component) has been worsening, plateauing and then worsening some more...I don’t believe it’s due to any chemical interaction or anything but “just” my mind...I have eaten things that, in hindsight, I know could not have hurt me but at the time I believed they could which produced stress and hyper vigilance which, in turn, actually increased the symptoms...which brought on more stress and ruminating...classic viscous cycle it’s like just noticing the symptoms (with fear) actually worsens them (in my experience)...there’s so self reflexive component to this *To be sure I also have obsessive compulsive tendencies that no doubt play a large role in aggravating my condition Avoiding certain triggers is smart but being too vigilant just breeds stress...Distraction (and as quick as possible) has always helped me avoid a potential flare up Keep on keeping on
  8. I have looked at that thread before and just did another quick skim...lots of good ideas (and on this forum in general...seemed to be a period between 2013-2017 where people theorizing like mad)—I think inverse agonists are the way to go...once more become publicly available Never tested positive for Lyme myself but I’ve heard the standard tests can be bunk so you never know—though I don’t have any physical symptoms (just some balance issues likely related to dp/dr) so who knows... Never used discord but will look into it thanks
  9. I agree with Jay-I would also mention that ssri antidepressants tend to aggravate the condition for most people here. All that being said do what you think is best.
  10. Yeah it’s all just so interesting how benzos really do seem actually to reduce both visuals and dp for some (as is your case)—Clonazepam didn’t touch either for me but did make me not care about my symptoms which is good enough I suppose. Unfortunately I’m kind of in a shit area as far as mental health help and was denied the Valium today—I’ll have to meet with a psychiatrist (paying out of my pocket) to hopefully get it. Also may give good ol’ neurofeedback another shot thanks
  11. Just wanted to post that I too have this symptom...I have had it since I my HPPD began in 2011. You are the only person I’ve seen with this you haven’t been here in a while but in any case-you’re not alone with this
  12. Hi all, As some of you are aware for the past three months or so I’ve had many instances of increasing symptoms (mostly DP/DR) and I don’t think I ever got back to baseline. I did not take any drugs, meds, supplements—some kind of psycho somatic reaction? Trauma? I have no idea All I know is for about two weeks I’ve not been able to come back down—It’s absolutely terrifying and has greatly impaired my daily functioning. I just started Lamotrigine and also have some Lion’s Mane I may try...I am that desperate for relief I am also going to try and get Valium...even if it just makes me not care about the horror movie I’m living in—I said in March that Klonopin appeared to worsen me but how is this possible? It’s the BIG one for us...could that also been some weird mental reaction that made the dp worse? My future looks incredibly bleak if I can’t find some way to reduce either my symptoms or my anxiety/depression...I’m going to have to try everything until I find what works for me all of that said—it’s almost two years since Paxil gave me DP and I’ve learned so much talking with you all and about this condition in general...looking forward to the day where I can come back and have proper chat and bit of laugh about all this absurdity
  13. can you tell me more about the ECT procedure? Did the doctor giving it to you know about your HPPD or have any idea where to put the sensors?
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