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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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justhere last won the day on May 7 2019

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  1. Serotonin Syndrome-while I don’t believe I ever had it...after I took the Paxil (10 mg) almost two years ago and got the DP/DR at first I thought that’s what I was experiencing (tragically even though I had had hppd for many years by then I had no idea ssris were contraindicated...my condition was so mild I barely visited this site+ I had been on Paxil w/ hppd prior with no change in symptoms) I will definitely look into Gabapentin, I know we tend to have luck with anticonvulsants although Keppra did nothing for me personally and Lamotrigine has yet to be determined. I really do feel the chronic inhibition at the front of the brain...it’s like I can’t reach into myself...or like my brain is hyper aware of itself and has disassociated...implicit subjective experiences do not happen naturally (nostalgia, qualia...”old feelings” as I call them) I’ll even flub up reading sometimes and miss out on tone (sarcasm etc.) or even fail to put proper spacing between words, ideas.. I really wish someone had access to Pimavanserim (Nuplazid) I suspect a 5ht2A inverse agonist could really help.
  2. I’m already feeling a bit better since my last post...hard to say why but my guess is, as always seems to be the case, I’ve adapted (I don’t believe my actual symptoms have shifted back)... if I can manage to work with this—find some enjoyment, keep the stress down...then I can figure out my next move... thanks
  3. When I took clonazepam I never noticed a difference with visuals (no decrease while on; no increase when it’s through)
  4. I really don’t know... my symptoms (essentially just the dp/dr component) has been worsening, plateauing and then worsening some more...I don’t believe it’s due to any chemical interaction or anything but “just” my mind...I have eaten things that, in hindsight, I know could not have hurt me but at the time I believed they could which produced stress and hyper vigilance which, in turn, actually increased the symptoms...which brought on more stress and ruminating...classic viscous cycle it’s like just noticing the symptoms (with fear) actually worsens them (in my experience)...there’s so self reflexive component to this *To be sure I also have obsessive compulsive tendencies that no doubt play a large role in aggravating my condition Avoiding certain triggers is smart but being too vigilant just breeds stress...Distraction (and as quick as possible) has always helped me avoid a potential flare up Keep on keeping on
  5. I have looked at that thread before and just did another quick skim...lots of good ideas (and on this forum in general...seemed to be a period between 2013-2017 where people theorizing like mad)—I think inverse agonists are the way to go...once more become publicly available Never tested positive for Lyme myself but I’ve heard the standard tests can be bunk so you never know—though I don’t have any physical symptoms (just some balance issues likely related to dp/dr) so who knows... Never used discord but will look into it thanks
  6. I agree with Jay-I would also mention that ssri antidepressants tend to aggravate the condition for most people here. All that being said do what you think is best.
  7. Yeah it’s all just so interesting how benzos really do seem actually to reduce both visuals and dp for some (as is your case)—Clonazepam didn’t touch either for me but did make me not care about my symptoms which is good enough I suppose. Unfortunately I’m kind of in a shit area as far as mental health help and was denied the Valium today—I’ll have to meet with a psychiatrist (paying out of my pocket) to hopefully get it. Also may give good ol’ neurofeedback another shot thanks
  8. Just wanted to post that I too have this symptom...I have had it since I my HPPD began in 2011. You are the only person I’ve seen with this you haven’t been here in a while but in any case-you’re not alone with this
  9. Hi all, As some of you are aware for the past three months or so I’ve had many instances of increasing symptoms (mostly DP/DR) and I don’t think I ever got back to baseline. I did not take any drugs, meds, supplements—some kind of psycho somatic reaction? Trauma? I have no idea All I know is for about two weeks I’ve not been able to come back down—It’s absolutely terrifying and has greatly impaired my daily functioning. I just started Lamotrigine and also have some Lion’s Mane I may try...I am that desperate for relief I am also going to try and get Valium...even if it just makes me not care about the horror movie I’m living in—I said in March that Klonopin appeared to worsen me but how is this possible? It’s the BIG one for us...could that also been some weird mental reaction that made the dp worse? My future looks incredibly bleak if I can’t find some way to reduce either my symptoms or my anxiety/depression...I’m going to have to try everything until I find what works for me all of that said—it’s almost two years since Paxil gave me DP and I’ve learned so much talking with you all and about this condition in general...looking forward to the day where I can come back and have proper chat and bit of laugh about all this absurdity
  10. can you tell me more about the ECT procedure? Did the doctor giving it to you know about your HPPD or have any idea where to put the sensors?
  11. I have purely obsessional OCD and have just started Lamotrigine (for the HPPD)...I will let you know how it goes... *it seems researchers are looking into excessive glutamate as a possible cause of OCD be well
  12. I do appreciate it Doc... I used to write a lot of songs both before the depersonalization and after as a way to ground my experiences...it was incredibly liberating. At the moment tho I’m unable to touch that place because I’m unable to touch any place inside so to speak. They’re not empty words-a part of me knows that and feels that still so thanks I’ll find my own way through As unique as this funny brain of mine
  13. In my “right mind” I’d very much appreciate your perspective-especially the metaphor... It can be and has been at times for me a wild and wonderful journey...that’s the problem. the symptoms themselves are what has blocked me from literally (and I mean that) experiencing life in any kind of “normal” way...I used to be 65% up in the clouds and now I’m no longer on the planet. The beauty isn’t gone it’s just been disabled for me. Right now. My brain is unable to relate. Unfortunately these metaphors get tossed around so much and are so subjective but I’m not internalizing information properly...There is no consensual, shared reality anymore. Everything feels theoretical at best. Positive thinking has helped in the past but my track record shows if this thing can get worse it will. For no good reason.
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