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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Originally

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Everything posted by Originally

  1. Originally

    Life

    Hey all! It's been nearly a year since I got hppd, and man was this year hard. Constantly feeling this sense of not knowing who I am and what's gonna happen. Honestly, i'm not vary happy considering the fact i kinda retracted my social presence in my life. Because of this i'm constantly ridiculed by my family for being weird. "Why don't you ever leave the house? Are you depressed?" Idk how to feel towards the people who are supposed to be there for me, especially my mom. I opened up to her about how i was feeling, and she completely disregarded what i said, saying I have no reason to be sad. Which really pissed me off because i can't tell her, "hey i did a fuck ton of drugs last year and now i feel constantly disassociated and i can't open my eyes without seeing the most fucked shit." So that's how i'm doing, in spite of her doings, i've picked up making music. If you're interested in listen, i'll leave a link in my profile. Much love guys, Andrew G
  2. Hey all!

    It's been nearly a year since I got hppd, and man was this year hard. Constantly feeling this sense of not knowing who I am and what's gonna happen. Honestly, i'm not vary happy considering the fact i kinda retracted my social presence in my life. Because of this i'm constantly ridiculed by my family for being weird. "Why don't you ever leave the house? Are you depressed?" Idk how to feel towards the people who are supposed to be there for me, especially my mom. I opened up to her about how i was feeling, and she completely disregarded what i said, saying I have no reason to be sad. Which really pissed me off because i can't tell her, "hey i did a fuck ton of drugs last year and now i feel constantly disassociated and i can't open my eyes without seeing the most fucked shit." So that's how i'm doing, in spite of her doings, i've picked up making music. If you're interested in listen, i'll leave a link in my profile. 

    Much love guys,

    Andrew G 

  3. Originally

    Hello

    Hey man, we know you're going through shit because I go through it, same with everyone else here. Just know you're not alone and we KNOW what's it like to be at our lowest point. Many people here have posted multiple times in a span of 3 min because they're on the brink of suicide, and many people come to their aid. This place has trolls, same with everywhere else. For the most part we're very welcoming and if you need people to talk to, we're here. I still have open eyed visuals, really bad starbursts, same with halos, and my closed eyed visuals are still apparent. I get very anxious frequently, so i know what's like. We're here for you, much love. Andrew <3 (Sorry if i kinda rambled, just being honest.)
  4. Hey everyone, my first post around 9 months ago had me completely in shambles, wondering how I'm gonna be and what's gonna happen.Looking at how I'm feeling and what I see, I feel fine. I do get some bad DP, other than that, I feel fine and my visuals are getting better. My CEV's are almost completely gone. Thanks for reading and let me know how you guys are doing! Love you guys, helped me a lot when I needed it Originally
  5. Originally

    Success Stories

    memeing? or deadass
  6. Originally

    Zoloft?

    tell your doc your symptoms, test other medications, my dude. a lot of people who try SSRI's tend to have an uptick in symptoms. let your doc know what you're experiencing and get a medication that makes your symptoms not so distressful. It's a process and you'll make it.
  7. Originally

    i have hppd

    stay sober man, I know exactly how you're feeling. Been sober for 9 coming onto 10 months now. It'll feel like forever because it has for me. Just stay focused and you'll feel better, i can promise you that much.
  8. Originally

    Doing better, may just be getting used to

    I still have every single symptom you have, they're just to a lesser extent now, except for starbursts, they're still bad. I've been in school, ap classes have been keeping me busy, so I don't have time to be doing drugs or fucking around. I just found a self-intrinsic motivation to want to get better as a person and psychologically better. I used to do DXM, LSD, Smoke weed all the time, And Xans. So when I went off them, it was hard to not want to smoke or want to do shit. The thing that really made me want to stop was a trip I had when I tried dabs for the first time, I started tripping super hard, strong ass visuals and was auditorily hallucinating. I was also having like a panic attack and I never wanted to feel that again, so I stopped. Invest time, keep busy. I'm kinda regurgitating everything that has been said to me on this forum, but it helps. Keep Busy is the best way to stay sober Much Love, Andrew G
  9. Originally

    Doing better, may just be getting used to

    I haven't been taking any, just staying sober and sleeping well.
  10. Originally

    Video Games

    Anyone excited for Dragon ball fighterz? If not Anyone play dokkan battle? If you do drop your user id and I'll add you. Feel free to discuss any other games anime etc, want to get a thread going!
  11. Originally

    HPPD and studying/ working

    Same friend, I have trouble retaining information while I'm reading, I can read it, if I'm not paying attention I won't know what I read. I have to really close read to get a full understanding of what I read.
  12. Originally

    How i'm recovering

    Hey all, 6 months ago I came to the forum in need of guidance and reassurance that my life wasn't over, it happened in the summer. Now I'm recovering very well, I see floaters, imprints, small dp, halos, cevs are gone and night visuals are gone by like 50%. Everything I was dealing with 6 months ago are slowly going away. Only thing that was never really relevant in my life before hppd was anxiety. I get anxiety over small things, trivial things. Life has been okay, just a big routine of wake up, school, home and games, go to sleep and repeat. Went on a date with a girl and Friday and it was super refreshing, was genuinely happy the entire time on the date, the feeling I was yearning for. Thank you all for reading. Much love, Originally
  13. Originally

    Please tell me if I have it

    in general people mainly see visuals when they smoke with hppd, i myself felt like the visuals i had was stronger than any dose of acid i have taken, i was smoking O.G kush so. did the cbd strain did anything for you or na?
  14. Originally

    Please Help - HPPD at 17, is it worth continuing?

    @Jay1 i feel like it's more than scanning your visual field, i feel like a pathway in the brain was opened, the brain is no longer filtering out the floaters. because before hppd i didn't get any floaters, zip, nada. after i wouldn't be scanning my field at all and they're just there. i'm past the point of freaking out about hppd, i don't scan my field anymore, everything is just there always.
  15. Originally

    So what to do now

    My dude, you're gonna be fine. Give yourself some time and try not to think about it. For me I thought the same way, how am I gonna perform in school, an I gonna be able to live a happy life, I contemplated it all. I've been getting better and so can you, give yourself some time man
  16. hey, i'm in possession of hydromorphone and oxycodone, i was wondering what would be the after effect, friend is over this weekend, he downed 2 perqs and i haven't at all yet, wanted advice before i decide to
  17. Originally

    HPPD at 20 from Marijuana Edible

    Must be nice to have someone knowledgeable on hppd, it's rare. I hope you recover full and well my dude.
  18. Originally

    My horrifying HPPD roller coaster ride

    i have a lot of the same symptoms you do, it sucks. i get the blue dots that vanish, i get the static that forms into shapes at night, i get the words in my head when i try to sleep, i get bad starbursts, i get the numb feeling in my hands all the time. light sensitivity and after images. i have everything, just not too bad, so it's manageable. i've been managing in my junior year pretty fine so far, i don't notice it too much in school, at night and at home is when i notice it the most
  19. You're gonna end up fucked dude, god speed to you
  20. Originally

    Lions Mane

    Hey I've been reading a bit on Reddit about people taking lions mane, fasting and exercising. And it gets rid of your hppd, sounds like an interesting thing to try. I shouldn't say get rid of but helping and some making it go away. Need advice/ guidance
  21. First stop all psychedelic use, next see your results. Go from there
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