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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Originally

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Originally last won the day on January 10

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About Originally

  • Rank
    Year n' a Half
  • Birthday 02/23/2001

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    Male
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    Maryland
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    Video Games: Tekken, DBFighterZ, MK

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  1. Hey all! It's been a while since I've been on HPPDOnline, how's everyone doing? Going on a year and a half now with having HPPD, everything has gotten better visual symptoms wise. I see less of all my symptoms! Only thing now that has been of a recent development is a constant depersonalization and general sadness. I attribute most of it to the fact of me going to college soon and there's been an abundance of stress on my shoulders. I get small pains here and there in my neck and my lower back, it's been pretty rough since Junior year last year. I haven't touched any drugs or drank since I got HPPD, so there's at least one thing I am not fucking up. I got accepted into a college recently, saying they would give me 16k a year to attend, so I am happy about that. My general support group among friends is good, I can rely on people and they can rely on me. Sorry for typing this out like a diary, but it was nice to type this all out. I've been producing my own beats lately, and that's been a lot of fun. An outlet to let out creativity is always a good time. Sorry for the rambling and if you're reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! Till next time, Andrew G
  2. Originally

    Life

    Hey all! It's been nearly a year since I got hppd, and man was this year hard. Constantly feeling this sense of not knowing who I am and what's gonna happen. Honestly, i'm not vary happy considering the fact i kinda retracted my social presence in my life. Because of this i'm constantly ridiculed by my family for being weird. "Why don't you ever leave the house? Are you depressed?" Idk how to feel towards the people who are supposed to be there for me, especially my mom. I opened up to her about how i was feeling, and she completely disregarded what i said, saying I have no reason to be sad. Which really pissed me off because i can't tell her, "hey i did a fuck ton of drugs last year and now i feel constantly disassociated and i can't open my eyes without seeing the most fucked shit." So that's how i'm doing, in spite of her doings, i've picked up making music. If you're interested in listen, i'll leave a link in my profile. Much love guys, Andrew G
  3. Hey all!

    It's been nearly a year since I got hppd, and man was this year hard. Constantly feeling this sense of not knowing who I am and what's gonna happen. Honestly, i'm not vary happy considering the fact i kinda retracted my social presence in my life. Because of this i'm constantly ridiculed by my family for being weird. "Why don't you ever leave the house? Are you depressed?" Idk how to feel towards the people who are supposed to be there for me, especially my mom. I opened up to her about how i was feeling, and she completely disregarded what i said, saying I have no reason to be sad. Which really pissed me off because i can't tell her, "hey i did a fuck ton of drugs last year and now i feel constantly disassociated and i can't open my eyes without seeing the most fucked shit." So that's how i'm doing, in spite of her doings, i've picked up making music. If you're interested in listen, i'll leave a link in my profile. 

    Much love guys,

    Andrew G 

  4. Originally

    Hello

    Hey man, we know you're going through shit because I go through it, same with everyone else here. Just know you're not alone and we KNOW what's it like to be at our lowest point. Many people here have posted multiple times in a span of 3 min because they're on the brink of suicide, and many people come to their aid. This place has trolls, same with everywhere else. For the most part we're very welcoming and if you need people to talk to, we're here. I still have open eyed visuals, really bad starbursts, same with halos, and my closed eyed visuals are still apparent. I get very anxious frequently, so i know what's like. We're here for you, much love. Andrew <3 (Sorry if i kinda rambled, just being honest.)
  5. Originally

    Success Stories

    memeing? or deadass
  6. Originally

    Zoloft?

    tell your doc your symptoms, test other medications, my dude. a lot of people who try SSRI's tend to have an uptick in symptoms. let your doc know what you're experiencing and get a medication that makes your symptoms not so distressful. It's a process and you'll make it.
  7. Originally

    i have hppd

    stay sober man, I know exactly how you're feeling. Been sober for 9 coming onto 10 months now. It'll feel like forever because it has for me. Just stay focused and you'll feel better, i can promise you that much.
  8. Originally

    Doing better, may just be getting used to

    I still have every single symptom you have, they're just to a lesser extent now, except for starbursts, they're still bad. I've been in school, ap classes have been keeping me busy, so I don't have time to be doing drugs or fucking around. I just found a self-intrinsic motivation to want to get better as a person and psychologically better. I used to do DXM, LSD, Smoke weed all the time, And Xans. So when I went off them, it was hard to not want to smoke or want to do shit. The thing that really made me want to stop was a trip I had when I tried dabs for the first time, I started tripping super hard, strong ass visuals and was auditorily hallucinating. I was also having like a panic attack and I never wanted to feel that again, so I stopped. Invest time, keep busy. I'm kinda regurgitating everything that has been said to me on this forum, but it helps. Keep Busy is the best way to stay sober Much Love, Andrew G
  9. Originally

    Doing better, may just be getting used to

    I haven't been taking any, just staying sober and sleeping well.
  10. Hey everyone, my first post around 9 months ago had me completely in shambles, wondering how I'm gonna be and what's gonna happen.Looking at how I'm feeling and what I see, I feel fine. I do get some bad DP, other than that, I feel fine and my visuals are getting better. My CEV's are almost completely gone. Thanks for reading and let me know how you guys are doing! Love you guys, helped me a lot when I needed it Originally
  11. Originally

    HPPD and studying/ working

    Same friend, I have trouble retaining information while I'm reading, I can read it, if I'm not paying attention I won't know what I read. I have to really close read to get a full understanding of what I read.
  12. Originally

    How i'm recovering

    Hey all, 6 months ago I came to the forum in need of guidance and reassurance that my life wasn't over, it happened in the summer. Now I'm recovering very well, I see floaters, imprints, small dp, halos, cevs are gone and night visuals are gone by like 50%. Everything I was dealing with 6 months ago are slowly going away. Only thing that was never really relevant in my life before hppd was anxiety. I get anxiety over small things, trivial things. Life has been okay, just a big routine of wake up, school, home and games, go to sleep and repeat. Went on a date with a girl and Friday and it was super refreshing, was genuinely happy the entire time on the date, the feeling I was yearning for. Thank you all for reading. Much love, Originally
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