Charlie

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About Charlie

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  1. Hey MadDoc, thanks for sharing with me. I do believe it's a powerful thing in all areas of life. I hope you continue to live in peace
  2. I've had HPPD for 4 years now following a few years of heavy drug use and the main culprates which were 2 life changing bad trips which left me with severe PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and many other problems, or atlesst it exacerbated my already unrecognized childhood issues which I thought weren't too bad or gen non existent. The point of this thread was to share my story and what I've learned to find hope and happiness, even oneness with myself. Im still in the thick of HPPD recovery in the sense that I still suffer daily with the fear, ocd's phobias and manic depression but I have found what I'd call enlightenment or what I think is Thebes start of. during recovery I've tried to find every answer, I changed my diet I've been completely sober of all substance for 2 years, I had an emasculate routine and diet, I did exercise everyday, all revolved around my illness HPPD and other illness, I was a slave to my mind. In simple I found acceptance, I also realized I was part of a spiritual journey, I know to many it sounds naff, it did to me for years but when you find acceptance to your HPPD and acceptance to the fact you've become part of a higher spiritual initiation (is what's I call Amir as it makes sense to me and I hope to you) it becomes easier. the main issue with HPPD is questioning it, fighting it, researching WHY, but the answers only come the day you decide to live and accept whatever the fucks going on which trust me I know at times can feel like interdimentional head fuckery - so you guys know I've been to the darkest depths of this illness - I've anxiety so bad I thought I became fear it's self whatever that is, I've traveled into distant realms of depression, anger and emotional retardation, I tried to end my life twice Andy became and out and out drug addict in attempt to resolve it but what helped me again was accepting what was... just was.. it's bigger then me, it's higher then me or at least my self and my ego so just let it happen. The article that essentially triggered this view on life for me explained that most of us experiencing these extreme feelings, emotionally retarded, anxiety, visuals are those who have been swept into an ego death or spiritual birth which they explain a lot better, i know it may sound ridiculous to some and I was one of those some, so I'd recommend highly to accept it. Accept the feelings and your happier better soul will give birth, resist these feelings and fight the illness and it'll grow as it's a clever cunt. This is the article which explains acceptance and the ego death. http://vividlife.me/ultimate/17379/when-the-ego-dies-experience-of-spiritual-growing-pain/ P.S. don't rule out other coping mechanisms, they all help in some ways or at least most of them, diet, routine and medication. Ive tried almost every medication but it wasn't for me but I have heard of some cases that helped hugely. P.P.S. Specific to HPPDers, when you find acceptance, your ego and visuals will get worse or should I say they did in my case for a bit, they're part of your ego or stleast the negative part of your HPPD is so they react like a child and try to cling onto your self as if they don't want to die which is what the birth of your soul will do. I'd also like to mention I am no pro, I am just going off experience, I have just practiced mindfulness, meditations and spirituality during my recovery. I hope this helps anyone suffering or even those not sufferent, just looking for a bit of help. One love. Charlie
  3. Thank you Maddoc. This has helped. As you probably know it's the tough times when the visuals seem like that's all you know when I really struggle but fortunanlty today I was level enough to take in what you had to say. Thank you and all the best.
  4. Hey guys. I've had HPPD for 3 years now and I've only seen things get worse and am running out of options. I'll go through a list of things I've given up aswell as a list of good habits I've taken up. By doing this I thought maybe I could get some help from one of you lot as I said this is a selfish cry for help. 16 months ago I gave up drink and drugs and have been 100% T total since. I've also cut back heavily on smoking cigarettes. Since then I've taken up daily meditation and religiously practiced mindfulness and many other spiritual practices. I go to intense hypnotherapy once a weak. I've tried SSRI's and benzodiazepines. Both of which made me worse. I eat incredibly healthily and exercise regularly. I make sure I do not focus on it and I practice acceptance of the horrible thing daily. HOWEVER, I am still getting worse and my visuals are roughly 20 X worse then when they started 3 years ago. If anyone could let me know of anything else I should know or if anything I might be doing wrong then please let me know. I'd be infinitely grateful. ~~~ I have learned some valuable skills through intensive therapy and meditation so I may be able to return the favour if I hear from you. Sadly 3 years of hardcore commitment is unfortunately not enough in my case and I'm at about breaking point. Much Love out to all you HPPDers Thank you, Charlie