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jbalsa2

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Everything posted by jbalsa2

  1. For what it’s worth, there’s more to this then just a thought; your eyes work idiosyncronously (Is that the right word?) with your brain. Being at psychiatric hospitals and seeing people on various different types of neuroleptics; you can see it in their eyes. There’s almost a blankness, like they’d be looking right into your eyes and a part of their gaze was missing. Maybe I have the same effect; as i’m on abilify. That being said to John, it subsides in time substantially. I’ve been substance free for quite a while now and my eyes and general demeanour is as bright as ever. Focus on living a healthy lifestyle, and paying less attention to your eyes (staring inwards, as it were) and you’ll begin to improve without you noticing.
  2. Fentanyl won’t make your hppd worse, and the anaesthetic they will use will typically be sedating in nature, perhaps a barbiturate. Both of these classes of med will make you feel drowsy and droopy but typically won't negatively affect your HPPD.
  3. As a pointer; if you're willing to try, I like the Aurobindo brand levetiracetam the best. In Canada I don't pay a dime for it. Beats spending $240 a month for the name brand.
  4. As with anything, if you want to try it, start small. Spend a month on 250mg twice daily, it won’t hurt, and typically you’ll know by the end of the month if its something you’d like to peruse further.
  5. Definitely not. There is no instantaneous cure for HPPD. I will say though that I feel much better being on keppra than not being on it, with HPPD I seem to go through some depressive episodes when my improvement becomes stagnant. Keppra has enough of an effect on HPPD that it for the most part eliminates those depressive episodes. For me, keppra makes me feel like I’m doing something about my HPPD rather than just leaving it be. I take 500 mg of keppra twice daily, and .1mg of clonidine in the morning, this combination works great.
  6. Haldol gives me far too many extrapleural/dyskinesia symptoms. To the point that I can't even touch it. I think il stay on Abilify for a while, I honestly think it's one of the best neuroleptics around right now. I find that taking clonidine and an iron supplement with Abilify deals with it affecting my hppd symptoms quite effectively. Just checking, im sure there's a couple here that would know. ?
  7. Hey guys, Just wondering if anyone knows of any useful antipsychotics for the treatment of concurrent schizzoaffective and HPPD? I have some pretty bad schizzoaffective symptoms that make it pretty hard for me to live without really freaking out (metaphorically) in public. It seems that most meds that cause my HPPD to become worse typically also make my schizzoaffective worse. I’m on abilify right now, low dose, 2mg, and I think its causing some of my HPPD symptoms to become worse, but i’m Not totally sure - for the first few days it did quiet my thought process down a bit. Olanzipine and Seroquel are pretty much off the table - they don’t help. I’m on 1000mg of keppra a day which seems to allow my tolerance for many antipsychotics i used to not be able to take. Olanzipine and Seroquel, as mentioned above, have they’re desired effect while I’m on keppra, where as prior to dosing with keppra these meds would cause a very weird side effect profile. Any help would be appreciated, thanks guys.
  8. Keppra will reduce the feeling of depersonalization and derealization from your body. For some it cures them completely. If you find that you suffer from allot of brain fog or the feeling like you spend allot of time just sitting there and 'observing' your hppd, then keppra is a good option because after about a month of being on it you'll notice you spend much less time doing that. I won't expect miracles in terms of your actual hppd, but if you're more or less coping with it well enough, keppra can be a good option that can allow you to recover more completely. If you do do keppra, start at 500mg/day for the first month and see how you feel, then if you find that it's helping you, gradually increase to 1000/mg a day and see how you feel. Im currently on 1000/mg a day.
  9. Muscle spasticity hasn't returned after re starting keppra dosing. Thank fuck. Il post again in 20 years when my hppd goes away. If ever.
  10. @Onemorestep it seems for me that I only get really bad muscle movement disorders/spasticity issues from lamotrigine. Feels allot like having restless leg syndrome except in every muscle in my body. It's bad enough that it gets to the point that I can violently jerk in a kneejerk type reaction unless I get some valium in me. I will say this though - I really need to stop posting threads as im all over the place in terms of my meds. I winded up stopping naltrexone as here in Canada it's $285 a month, which is just too expensive for me. It also made me manic to the point I'd be up for 3 days at a time. I ended up waiting for the muscle movement side effects to subside completely and started taking keppra again as it's covered under my health care plan. Im also on 2mg of Abilify to quell some of my schizzoaffective - ish side effects that I've been having.
  11. I'd like to try nuplazid, minus the fact that it costs $28000 per year. I live in Canada and there's a special program that would allow for my doctor to specially request it from the U.S. as it's not yet available in Canada, and it would be covered by social services. But, alas my doctor said that he would leave that as an absolute last resort.
  12. Had to stop taking keppra as it was causing cerebellar ataxia. Have switched to naltrexone which has worked incredibly well.
  13. Hey guys, so my keppra trial had a very abrupt ending. I tried to introduce lamotrigine into the mix, which caused both meds to give me a muscle movement disorder. I had to stop taking keppra immediately, which was a painful withdrawal. Anyways, was started on naltrexone 50mg a day (it's fucking expensive - $270 for 30 days) But anyways, it only took 3 days of dosing 50 mg every morning for me to notice the immediate and immense effect it has had on my hppd. My DP/DR are gone entirely, and my visual symptoms have separated themselves from my DP/DR, meaning my visuals don't even bother me anymore. I love how it only took me 3 days to notice the effects. I guess I owe props to that one guy who's account name is "naltrexonewonderdrug4me" ?
  14. Continues to work, if you try it you'll know after about 2-3 months what it's doing for you.
  15. Hey guys, has anyone here ever tried taking both keppra and Lamictal at the same time? Just curious Thanks Jason
  16. It is; in the 2 and a half years that I've had hppd, I've never stayed on any one drug for longer than a couple of weeks, besides benzodiazepines. My luck would have it that lamotrigine gave me extremely crippling cerebellar ataxia. I've been on keppra for roughly 2 months now, and it seems to keep me on the good side of symptoms and keeps my psychological drive to keep going up, whereas before I'd always be depressed and resort to using benzos, opiates, or just generally not having a want to keep on living. Now if only I could deal with my spasticity/involuntary psychologically concurrent muscle movement disorder - I think I'd have a pat down foundation built for being able to live a happy and consistent life, without having to worry much about how or when my hppd and other symptoms will stop me from being able to live and have a positive outlook on my future.
  17. Hmm... That's an interesting experience. I see some potential plus sides, and also some serious downsides. Im going to consider all of that, and bring it up with my doctor. If he decides it would be a good med il go through treatment acknowledging that. I was born severely premature, and almost died shortly after birth, I was put on many different meds to keep me alive, including steroids to aid in my premature growth. Spent 8 months in the hospital post-birth. Then to top that off, I fractured my skull when I was 3 years old. For the longest time I thought that my newly developed muscle jerking and psychosomatic involuntary body movements caused by improper communication between thoughts and my body/muscles were caused by the onset of hppd. But it's only after seeing as much neurological improvement on keppra that I've noticed my spasticity hasn't improved at all. I could be wrong, but I have an inkling of fear that some of these symptoms may be rebound effects that have only just started to appear from my trouble and trauma in my early years. For me medication might be my only aid. On the up side, I can't see baclofen being too intensely damaging if I do a short term trial on it to see how it effects my symptomology before committing to taking it long term. My situation is fucking crappy. Hppd alone is one thing, but finding out that I face neurodegenerative like symptoms from early childhood complications and trauma that are now synchronous with my hppd... Fuck me. I've been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder, which im almost positive is derivative from my premature birth/TBI. Did you notice any similarity in muscle relaxant/calming symptoms between baclofen and any forms of benzos?
  18. Hey guys, question for those of you that know... I've been taking brand name Keppra for a couple of months now, and it's been working great at helping my neurocognitive state. One thing I've always experienced with my hppd has been muscle spasticity, involuntary body movements and muscle contractions and such - which has been psychosomatic (ie; caused by my brain, and is an active player in my thought/conciousness in causing my muscle movements, if that makes sense) These spasms were drastically reduced by taking benzodiazepines. Im just wondering if anyone has any experience using baclofen? Seeing that it is a GABA agonist that could be taken long term. My thinking, is that keppra gives me neurogenic improvement, while leaving body symptoms untouched. Maybe I could combine baclofen with keppra to give my muscle spasticity and shakes a rest, while also preserving my mental/visual improvement. Any info or experiences are appreciated! Thanks Jason
  19. I didn't have ant bad trips either. My LSD trip that led up to my hppd was a great one, it was just when I woke up the next morning that I realized I had developed hppd. Although bad trips and trauma may play into it a little; I don't think having a bad trip is a solid prerequisite for developing hppd. Benzos are bad because the moment you get used to them, or even start to enjoy the feeling of being on them, it'll make it really difficult to cope without having them. And as just about anyone on this forum will tell you, it only makes things worse in the long run. I have had several run ins with benzo use over the past couple of years, and am finally happy to say I have ceased using them - except for the odd time every month or two. I have not tried acupuncture, but my best guess is that perhaps it can provide some external relief to physical symptoms that you are experiencing - where as hppd is a neurological disorder. So its doubtful it will do much to help your mental side effects. Find what works for you ?
  20. Remember - if you do decide on medication - don't let a psychiatrist push antipsychotics on you, they don't actually do anything to help cure your hppd. The only two medications I would recommend that you try (If, of course you do try anything) are keppra and lamotrigine. Don't use benzos unless your use of them is super intermittent - ie; once, twice a week. I like to look at it like this; remember when you were tripping, and at some points in the trip you felt like it would never end? And then of course - several hours later, you finally moved into a different state of the trip, and then several hours after that you finally felt 'normal' again? I look at hppd as much like the same thing. You think it will never end, but the more you think about the fact that its still there the more you will get sucked into that panicked mind state. It takes time to progress, but it does progress, in the same way that your trip progressed while you were tripping. The nice thing about meds such as lamotrigine or keppra, in my experience so far, is that they can help your mind state along the way - allowing you to think about other things and not get so distracted by your hppd, which i believe accomplishes two things. One, distracting you from your hppd which eases the process of passing time, and two; by helping your brain to become neurologically distracted from your hppd; which I believe may aid some of your neurology to recover better on its own naturally, by aiding the process of neuroplasticity in the sense that you are actually causing 'less' of your brain to have hppd. If that makes sense. Good luck!
  21. Hmm. Interesting. I've had mine for 2 years now. LSD induced. I did LSD numerous times prior to developing full on hppd, and also continued poly-drug use well into my hppd. Although I've quit nearly all drug use completely. My advice to you - hppd induced by a single trip of shrooms shouldn't be too bad to kick. I would recommend keppra as it reduces symptoms of depersonalization and some visuals, but im hesitant to recommend it as im not sure what the differences are between LSD induced hppd and psilocybin induced hppd. Give it a year or two. And if by that point you still have hppd, perhaps give keppra a try. I can't see it hurting in too many ways.
  22. To you as well. If you don't mind my asking, Gabriel, how long have you had your hppd? Is it LSD induced?
  23. Hey Gabriel. Much better than I was a year ago. Actually a couple of months ago I started taking brand name Keppra, improvement is marked and cumulative. Schizzoaffective symptoms I was talking about a year ago now are pretty much completely gone. My visuals are improving, and I don't really have much to say about DP/DR anymore. I can't imagine my hppd having really any noticeable effects on my a year or two from now, if only mild visual snow.
  24. Reacting allot better to name brand today - none of the tiredness that I got yesterday. Can confirm name brand keppra is significantly better for symptoms than generic. Still getting a little bit used to the adjustment from generic to name brand.
  25. Well then. Have to make this note for anyone whose interested in trying either generic levetiracetam or keppra. For me, there is a tremendous difference between the generic brand of keppra that I used (manufactured by Aurobindo) and the UCB name brand keppra. Generic - Made me feel really stimulated and restless, always had to be moving around allot and never felt tired on it. Name Brand - Only been on it for 2 and a half days, but the name brand version has carried none of the stimulation that the generic has, and has actually made me extremely tired, to the point where I feel the need to nap mid day. This never happened with the generic - although sources say that the tiredness you'd get off keppra typically only lasts for 7-14 days before your body adjusts. Just thought I'd note this information, as the name brand and generic versions of keppra feel like completely different drugs to me... In a way that's very easily distinguishable between the two.
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