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jbalsa2

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Everything posted by jbalsa2

  1. Melatonin won't have any negative effect on your HPPD. You should go to one of those fancy tea places and get yourself a nice calming herbal tea perhaps.
  2. Hmm, maybe ambien is different - i've taken zopiclone (Imovaine) which has a very similar moa and found that it was almost identical to taking an ativan or two. Maybe just take a milligram or two of ativan if you find you need the help getting to sleep.
  3. Yeah it's quite common for people to develop HPPD weeks and months later. Certainly wait a couple of months and see how things go. If you can, abstain from using any form of benzodiazepine until your sure that you've hit your baseline, as using a benzodiazepine before then can confuse your senses into what your baseline actually is - causing you to think things are getting worse when they are not. If perhaps, 6 to 8 months down the road, you feel like you'd like to try out some medications to help you, you can check out my thread regarding available medications below - although I would recommend sticking it out for as long as you can without medications and seeing if you can recover naturally. Good luck
  4. Yeah it really took me about 2 months to stabilize, but you will adjust soon enough. For what it's worth I wasn't able to leave my room for like a week after mine started. Did your trails appear well after your last trip? Or did your trip lead right into your HPPD? For me I was tripping, went to bed, and then woke up the next morning still tripping, and haven't really stopped since.
  5. Hey there Zander, How long has it been since your HPPD has set in? Typically things gradually improve over the course of a few months - until you get to your baseline, which is the point that your HPPD hits a point where it stays the same. If you smoke weed at all, i'd recommend that you stop - any drug use will cause your symptoms to become significantly worse. If you really need some relief from your symptoms for a short while, you can always see your family doctor and have some ativan prescribed to you, just don't get too heavy into them, they're only a temporary solution to help you adjust to your new set of symptoms. Other then that, if you continue to live healthy habits, your HPPD should only improve over time.
  6. Ambien is a partial benzodiazepine receptor agonist - it will have a similar effect on your HPPD that a benzodiazepine would.
  7. If you're absolutely sure that you have visual snow and HPPD symptoms, I would recommend that you stay away from weed, as it really does hinder your chances of recovery. I found that after I quit weed I had less severe symptoms of depersonalization and derealization than when I did smoke weed. I also found that smoking weed would hugely intensify my HPPD. By the sounds of it, your HPPD isn't debilitating either, so why not stick out staying sober for a while, maybe you'll get better in time - then smoke away after you've recovered. That's what I'd do in your shoes.
  8. Hey guys. Just thought i'd have a little bit of fun with this one as it's not often that I look back on events that have taken place in my life and laugh - as is usually the case with me they're typically a little bit too "out there" for them to be funny, but in reality they are quite hilarious. Anyways, this happened about back in may of this year (2018) So I had been admitted into a psychiatric facility here in Alberta, after my parents deemed that my mental health and substance abuse issues were not matters that I could take into my own hands anymore. So I go to the psychiatric facility, spend my 21 day stint there, and, poor me, decided to let the psychiatrists there perform whatever procedures they deemed fit to treat my symptoms -completely unknowing of the damage that they would go on to cause my HPPD. When I was discharged from the hospital, I could barely speak a word of coherent english, as my mind was so frazzled, and basically told my parents that I did more damage in 21 days at a psychiatric facility then my 7 months plus of doing cocaine every weekend. Anyways after about two weeks of attempting to make a recovery from my recovery program at the psychiatric hospital, the symptoms just got way too bad, so I took matters into my own hands and decided to buy about $500 worth of xanax. I remember taking them, they were really good xans, a little bit too good. I took one and completely unbeknownst to me, decided to go on a mad rampage around the city in a complete blackout. The next events that took place are only events that have been told to me, or that I have read of in the police report of all the incidents that took place that night, as I have absolutely no recollection of anything that happened that night. I wound up driving to an A&W on the complete opposite side of the city that I live in, walked in, stumbled around a bit, and ordered a burger. I made my payment, and then according to the cashier working at the A&W, I began telling the cashier all about how I was pretty sure that I was god, with a completely blank stare the entire time. I then proceeded to sit on one of the tables inside the A&W (Not in the chairs, on the table) and began eating my food. I was apparently told to sit in a chair, and not on a table, at which point I apparently started yelling profanities at the cashier and then walked outside, proceeding to eat my burger and fries on a concrete bench outside the A&W. At this point, blacked-out-on-xanax me did something very smart... I took the keys out of my pocket and placed them on the bench beside me. This move was really smart on my part as it gave me plausible deniability for when the cops would show up. Anyways, apparently I finished my burger, and just sat on the bench outside for about an hour with a completely blank and emotionless stare on my face. At this point, the staff at the A&W were worried so they called 911, at which point the police showed up to me clearly obliterated out of my mind on an unknown amount of benzos. Paramedics were called (GET THIS) and literally could not find out what was wrong with me, and deemed me medically fit to carry on as I was, however the police, not wanting to just let me go, decided to call my parents so that they could pick me up. My parents get there, and see that im obviously in some kind of messed up state. They drive my car home while I ride in the passenger seat of my moms car. I get home, and apparently try to conceal some of my xanax pills in my room - at which point my mom starts yelling at me (Again, which I still have no recollection of) I start yelling profanities back, and my dad decides to call the police again. The police show up, and decide that they have enough on me to file an assault charge against me. GET THIS - upon finding out blacked out me was going to jail, I proceeded to stuff about 7 grams of marijuana in my pocket to take to jail with me - THIS IS IN THE POLICE STATEMENT!! So it goes on, I get to the police station where they book me, and destroy the 7 grams of marijuana that I tried to take to jail with me, however they didn't charge me with possession for the marijuana. About 2-3 hours pass, and i'm still experiencing full on retrograde amnesia - I'm off my tits and have no recollection of any of this ever happening - the police release me from the station with a court date set for the assault charges, and a set of conditions clearly stating that I was to remain at least a block away from my parents house. Well - what does blacked-out-on-xanax Jason do next you ask? He walks... straight back to his parents house still obliterated off his tree. I walked right inside, at which point my parents dialed 911 again to report that I was back. And so they arrested me again, only this time they held me overnight. I woke up the next morning and had absolutely no recollection of anything that had happened the prior night- they wanted to take me to jail, but I asked them if I could Bail myself out, turns out they take credit card. So anyways I bail myself out, dazed and confused, and find myself a lawyer who then gets the disclosure of the case. It's at this point that i'm reading the full on turn of events that happened, half horrified, and half chuckling as I read it. Long story short... my lawyer got me off with a conditional discharge - which means probation for 1 year and no criminal record - under the pretense that when emergency medical services had asessed me, they were supposed to hold me until I was no longer intoxicated and able to comprehend everything that was going on. I look back on this, and as horrible as it was, it was quite the hilarious night of cat and mouse. I later explained to my parents what had happened, and we all get along and chuckle about it now. -jbalsa2
  9. Holy moly thats allot of ativan. Be careful, blacking out on benzos on those kind of dosages is common, and once you blackout, there's no telling what you will do. I wound up in jail one night because I took a xanax that had more than the advertised amount in it and assaulted someone. To this day I have absolutely no recollection of anything that happened that night. Also I urge you to use caution taking benzos, I got hooked on xanax a number of months back, my supply ran out and I almost had several seizures, and proceeded to go into the worst withdrawal symptoms of my life which lasted for a few weeks. It won't take long for you to become desensitized to benzodiazepines if you use them on a regular basis, and once that happens, its already too late - your hooked. BE CAREFUL!
  10. Hi Tigress, Here in Canada it's starting to become a somewhat known condition, in some places more than others. The addictions and mental health clinics are aware of it - and the psychiatrists at the clinics typically prescribe lamotrigine and clonidine in combination to treat it. At the university of Alberta hospital the head of the psychiatry department is actually seemingly well versed in the condition and had actually told me that my best bet with treating the condition would be to test out an atypical antipsychotic called pimavanserin. Unfortunately this antipsychotic is still brand new meaning that it costs roughly $28000 us dollars per year for treatment.
  11. Neato, maybe post back in a couple of weeks to give an update on if your hppd symptoms continue to remain unaffected I took mirtazipine for a while, a tetracyclic antidepressant and it worked wonders for anxiety and depression, but after about a week of use it caused my visual symptoms to become worse.
  12. I know exactly what you mean by being able to "feel" your hppd. I have nerve tension (as I call it) that directly mimicks my visual symptoms, but as the sensation of touch in my nerves. My rationalization of this is that the brain is ultimately what controls your nerves, and as you probably vividly remember during your trip, your trip brought on numerous bodily sensations ultimately linking LSD's moa to your entire body. So having hppd, your body is actually somewhat linked to your hppd resulting in you being able to feel aspects of your hppd. As far as what we feel, see and perceive being the same, that's highly doubtful, for example, I have hppd, and when I take MDMA (which I've only done a handful of times since the onset) my hppd symptoms completely 'line up' as it were. That meaning that the entirety of my hppd symptoms stop being the crazy hellstorm of visual snow and chaos that they are, and become completely in tune with my mind and my body. When I take MDMA, for a few short hours, my hppd wholely and completely attenuates the MDMA high without in any way shape or form being a nuisance. Im so certain in this experience in fact, that when im on MDMA, I can smoke copious amounts of weed and the weed has absolutely zero effect on my hppd. This concoction is really quite fantastic for me, especially since it's much like revisiting the days that I used to be able to freely get high despite the fact that I have hppd, but be certain I do pay the consequences the next day(s) That being said - maybe were part of a giant mindscape, a simulation as it were - and LSD and hppd symply give our brain the ability to outline or highlight the neurological functionality or method of action of the mindscape that we live in? Haha. I wouldn't go that far. TL;DR, we all experience visual symptoms on an entirely seperate axis from one another - it all boils down to specific neurosciences and environmental/perceptual factors.
  13. Hi Jason, By the sounds of what your describing, if you don't have hugely noticeable visual snow or static, I don't actually think your HPPD is LSD induced. LSD induced HPPD seems to have a very characterized set of symptoms. Now not to say that you don't have HPPD, but your symptoms sound more along the line of mushroom or mdma induced HPPD. I can't totally say that this is good news, but from what i've read people with MDMA and mushroom induced HPPD have much higher recovery rates compared to those with LSD induced HPPD. My advice - don't take any more drugs of any kind, and keep yourself busy - i'd be willing to bet with the severity of your symptoms, you could make a full recovery in *give or take* 2 years.
  14. Hi Vladchik, I've read that some people completely lose symptoms even after stopping keppra, and I've read of an individual who says if he stops taking the keppra that the visuals come back. If it were me taking keppra, and my visuals completely went away, what I would do is continue to take keppra for another year or two years after my visuals went away, and then slowly reduce my keppra dose to see if my visuals have gone away completley.
  15. Actually there is a little bit more to it then that, science wise, in those who suffer from HPPD. Although you are not wrong in the sense that many people will have perceptual disturbances if they look at an object for long enough, this is just a neurological blip in the way that the biological brain works. One mechanism of action as to why perceptual disturbances are far more pronounced in those who have HPPD for example, is a proposed destruction of inter neuron GABA functioning. GABA is a key neurotransmitter that 'inhibits' and in turn would be a tremendous aid in our ability to tune out information that's not relevant to us. With people who have HPPD, they literally cannot tune out that information due to this destruction of interneuronal GABA functioning. This is why benzodiazepines for example, which cause an increase in the functionality of the GABA neuroreceptor, help people with HPPD. It doesn't stop the visual disturbances, but it certainly makes it 100x easier to ignore the fact that they are there and allows us to naturally cope with them or tune them out, which goes to support the GABA destruction hypothesis. Now you also have to remember that this is only one mechanism of action, of which there are several in people who have HPPD - otherwise an increase in GABA functioning to account for interneuronal GABA destruction would pose a complete loss of all visual disturbances, at least for the period of time that the person is on a benzodiazepine, which it does not, unfortunately do. So, it goes on, there is far more science wise that is going on. What you are trying to say, perhaps, is that all people naturally have the biological framework for which HPPD can base itself around. This is obvious. We are all human, we are all biological creatures, and there are natural disturbances in perception based off of the fact that there are mechanisms of action which cause our biological selves to function in the way that we do. :)
  16. Lamotrigine gave me an improvement of symptoms right up until the point where it gave me severe muscle movement disorders. There was no ability to continue lamotrigine for me; it was stop or go to the hospital. If anything on keppra, I've grown to like the stimulanty way that it makes me feel. I've noticed each brand feels slightly different - I take the Aurobindo brand generic because it has a more stimulanty feel to it, although I haven't noticed any change in libido. But that'll change from person to person. The name brand version of keppra made me extremely tired and somnolent. If you do try keppra, do two weeks at 250mg twice a day, and then go up to 500mg twice a day after two weeks. If after a month you haven't noticed the improvement or augmentation of some of your symptoms; you'll have your answer.
  17. Yeah that's exactly what I experienced on keppra, and it subsides. After a month of treatment the symptoms stabilize and you get used to the feeling of constantly being on keppra, which winds up being the as!e symptoms but at a very low level; where you don't notice the symptoms much to the point that they actually affect you severely. Sadly that's the thing about medications - you will feel medicated when on them. Just the way it goes. I take .05mg of clonidine twice a day as well, this med can be helpful with the initial onset of keppra, and I take it anyways to help with physical symptoms of anxiety. If you want the benefit, youl have to ride the onset symptoms out unfortunately. That's the nature of hppd.
  18. Yeah palinopsia is definitely very improved with keppra. I guess it's one of those 'youd have to try it to know what I mean' type of things. With keppra; keppra causes some central nervous system arousal, and it's actually indicated that keppra can cause psychosis on its own in otherwise healthy individuals. You know how HPPD is, mess with any other part of your brain and bam your hppd winds up getting worse. So it's in that sense that keppra made my symptoms worse for a while. Everyone's different, I can't be you to know whether you should continue lamotrigine or stop, but im just going off my own sense of judgement. Sadly for me I couldn't take lamotrigine at all as it caused me severe motor function and movement disorder related impairments. My body practically tried to rip it's bones out of its sockets automatically on lamotrigine.
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