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Everything posted by jbalsa2

  1. Hey guys! Have some exciting news for all of you who suffer from depersonalization or derealization. I've been in in an inpatient care centre for a little while now to try out some various treatment options for my HPPD. Currently I am titrating up on lamotrigine to try and help with visual snow, as well as buspar to treat some of the anxiety that has come with my HPPD as an alternative to benzodiazepines. But the most exciting thing is that my doc has started me on an anticonvulsant called topomax. About an hour after taking it I feel a slight stimulant effect, however my depersonalization and derealization is completely gone while I am on it. My thinking and mental state becomes tactful and present, with no brain fog. I'm on 25mg before supper time, and we'll be increasing dosage gradually, as well as adding a morning dosage. The effect I get off 25mg at supper time lasts for about 6-8 hours. Just thought I would share this information with you guys, and hopefully it excites and helps you guys as much as it does me! If any of you guys give it a go, please post here and let me know how your experience goes.
  2. @TheMythos my psych doctor is likely going to put me back on benzos for a while, and I think il use that opportunity to test out Keppra. I've also heard success stories of people using Naltrexone, so i might also give that one a go as well.
  3. Its been 5 days now since I stopped taking all 3 meds, buspar, topomax, and lamotrigine. I would say by far buspar had the worst side effects - but after being on doses of these meds for 3 weeks, and stopping all of them at the same time, I'm more or less back to baseline. Topomax I would say is definitely not a cure on its own, but can be useful at aiding in dp/dr symptoms. What's nice is that the lowest dosage (25mg) has an immediate effect, and I don't believe topomax on its own had a tremendously negative impact on my hppd or baseline as the buspar did. I'm seeing my outpatient psych next tuesday to see what my options are. Might give keppra a go.
  4. Funny, I had to stop taking Lamotrigine as it was giving me ataxia. Loss of coordination in body movements, involuntary body movements etc. I'm wondering what the risk of developing Ataxia is with Depakote or Keppra?
  5. @Onemorestep although I can't find any information that directly mention Topomax's dopaminergic activity, I can only mention how my experience went, and can confirm among the various other people at the inpatient centre who were on Topomax had felt the same effect initially. It does stabilize after a while though. From what i've read about Keppra, Topomax and Keppra seem to have a similar initial onset, where one feels alert, full of energy etc, but similar to Keppra, Topomax's rush stabilizes over time. @TheMythos definitely not a placebo effect, topomax's effects can be felt immediately after you take your first dose, and at the smallest dose available. (25mg) It just aids your brain in the hear and now moment to sort of snap out of DP/DR. Visual acuity is improved, without having an effect on visual snow, and you feel clear headed for a while. Unfortunately in my case, it didn't take long for me to recognize the negative effects that Buspar was having on my visual snow, and at that point my doctor was really trying to push my dosage of Topomax, far too fast for me to handle in such a short time frame. This is inevitably what caused me to have to stop taking these meds and reset for a while. Does depakote carry a risk for Ataxia? I'm just getting myself back to baseline state before I start trying out some new medications, although keppra is definitely on my to do list at the moment.
  6. Perhaps maybe why some people have reported that taking more LSD with meditation has cured them etcetera etcetera.
  7. @Onemorestep any thoughts on this theory? If anything it would have been the buspar that actually caused the chain reaction to happen due to its excitation of the already neurotoxic 5ht2a. Its only after I've completely discontinued buspar that I've noticed lamotrigine have any effect on my hppd. It had never helped prior to me having taken the buspar or topomax. Sigh. I wish I could spend a whole life doing research on the subject. And help people in the same boat. But, it's almost serendipitous, that this would work.
  8. @justhere In hindsight maybe I wouldn't recommend taking buspar. I had negative side effects due to the fact that it excites the 5-ht2a receptor. Interestingly enough I've been on lamotrigine for a month prior to taking buspar, and have only noticed the lamotrigine starting to work after I took the buspar for about 3 weeks. After discontinuing buspar the lamotrigine started to work. It has taken about 4 or 5 days to recover from the effects of the buspar, and now my visual snow is starting to go away while I'm on lamotrigine.
  9. My only theory (and sad attempt at pharmacokinetics) is that part of the basis of action of LSD or HPPD is that certain neuroreceptors fold in on themselves. Thus not really being in a convulsive state. Perhaps the other medications I was on (which re-aggravated some of those neuroreceptors) caused them to temporarily open back up again just long enough for the lamotrigine to work its anti convulsant magic, not allowing those neuroreceptors in their re-aggravated state to fold back in on themselves.
  10. Either way, i'm going to continue to pursue treatment, for now with lamotrigine mono therapy for a couple of months. Il keep tabs on myself I suppose.
  11. I'm only speculating at this point, I can't help but wonder; i've been on lamotrigine for a little over a month, and just started taking it in the mornings. In my current overly stimulated and exacerbated state the lamotrigine is having a very positive side effect, visuals are decreased by like 50%, and my body calms itself right down from all the other meds I was on. It really sucks, but the lamotrigine is noticeably working now, something i've never noticed before. I can't help but wonder if there is a connection between that overly stimulated state, and the lamotrigine actually starting to become effective. Perhaps part of the reason why it works for some but not others? Not sure, and not going to say anything thats either here nor there. What makes me wonder now is if the lamotrigine will continue to work as it is after my symptoms return to baseline, or if it is just temporarily helping my overstimulated state. Im reluctant to say.
  12. Topomax is used in addiction/rehabilitation centers here as an aid for people who are going into post acute withdrawal from other drugs as it has an initial stimulant effect. The whole idea being that it's a pharmaceutical option to being able to viably provide people with a better chance of not relapsing.
  13. Yup. What I noticed with buspar was that if I took it alone it would make the visuals worse; interestingly enough being on a dosage of topomax was able to make the negative side effects of the buspar disappear while holding onto the good ones. Unfortunately my doc really wanted to push the dosage of topomax, and when the topomax ship hit the iceberg the whole thing got revealed. Topomax was doing a really good job at hiding everything that was going on and replacing it with a dopamine rush (think anticonvulsant, and your brains literal ability to block out allot of neuroreceptors you normally wouldnt and just bypass all of that, and think) What I'm not sure about is this, for the first two weeks I did feel great, I think what ultimately winded up happening was that I couldn't notice that buspar was having a negative consequences on my neurochemistry, and that the topomax was hiding it. After having a negative reaction on topomax everything flipped and started to come crashing down. I'tl probably be a week or two before I return to baseline, but interestingly enough in this really sort of 'exascerbated' state after stopping both other meds, I've continued to take lamotrigine. Interestingly enough I seem to notice a quaint positive side effect from taking the lamotrigine. I've only been on it for a month, and maybe it's only in this exacerbated state, but it absolutely helps with a certain level of my hppd's excitation right now.
  14. Ah. Guys I have to update this. Ever since I had a bad reaction to topomax at 200 mg it ruined the combination of these meds. I've never been able to regain my baseline again, after re taking topomax and buspar. I've stopped taking both completely, visuals are still flared up from my breakdown at 200mg. Luckily this all happened in under 3 weeks. If anyone does try this method, start out at the lowest dose of both meds. Stay on them for a full month, and then decide how you feel and if you'd like to keep taking them. I'm on a break right now and am just on 100 mg of lamotrigine.
  15. Update: Hey guys, just an update, had a bad reaction at 200mg of Topomax. Exascerbated my HPPD symptoms by quite a bit at that dosage. We've dialled it back to 75mg split up twice daily (37.5 mg x2) which is where I found my sweet spot was in terms of it clearing up my DP/DR, and increasing visual acuity and mental clarity. Buspar is continuing to work really great at treating anxiety and brain stress symptoms that i'd get from HPPD (Feels much like a benzodiazepine) and will definitely be continuing to take it on a daily basis.
  16. @justhere buspar blocks serotonin at the 5HT1A receptor site and increases the effectiveness of GABA-B. The resulting effect after using it continuously for about two weeks is a calming effect on the brain, much like you'd experience on a benzodiazepine whilst not being addictive. Doesn't do much for visual snow, but if you find that you're in a really panicked or nervous state that you can't get out of, the buspar can be a helpful step in calming your brains physiology down and help ground yourself for a while. It's definitely helped me. Worst case is that it doesn't help you, and it usually won't have any sort of negative reactions, so if you don't like it or find that it doesn't help you, you can just stop taking it.
  17. If you are in a panicked state Buspar is a fantastic drug for that - works just about as effectively as benzodiazepines, but without being addictive. It works by reducing the amount of serotonin in your brain, thus producing a calming effect. It takes about two weeks to start working, and you need to take it every day.
  18. Just an update guys, Have increased my dosage of Buspar to 15 mg 3x daily, as well as my topomax to 100mg 2x daily, and lamotrigine to 100 mg 1x daily. All of the medications are beginning to stabilize, and I am absolutely flabbergasted at how amazed I feel. I'm tentative to speak to soon, but I feel like the way these medications are working, I may very well be on the path to being able to pharmaceutically cure my hppd, as that's exactly what feels like is happening. My visual symptoms are gradually tapering off, visual acuity is returning, sensory normality and thought process that I haven't felt in years is coming back. This is obviously coming with a completely drug free and healthy diet regimen to go with it. There are side effects to the combination of these medications, but they far out weigh the positives that I am gaining from them. I'l keep posting as I go along. I really, wholeheartedly hope that one day I can defineably cure my condition on a documentable basis and post that information on this forum in an easy to read an understandable format for others to read. Thanks for taking the time to read guys.
  19. Check out my thread here if you find that Keppra is doing nothing for you I'm on a combination of Topomax and Buspar, these drugs take a while to work and stabilize in your system, i've been on them for about 2 weeks now, as well as lamotrigine, and I feel absolutely incredible. Mental clarity, reduced stress, tension headaches and mental fog and fuzziness are completely gone etc etc. Check out the thread and read up on it and see if it's relevant to you. http://hppdonline.com/topic/5840-dpdr-sufferers-topomax/#comment-36850
  20. We're also working on titrating up my dosage of Lamotrigine to 200 mg daily
  21. More news guys! We've increased my dosage of Topomax again, at 75 mg 2x daily now, what's also fantastic is that the buspar that i've been taking has finally taken effect. My psychiatrist has described the mechanism of action that these drugs are having on me, I am lucky to have one that's as knowledgable on the subject as he is. The Buspar is a serotonin agonist at the 5-HT1A receptor site and more importantly increases secretions at the GABA-B receptor sites. He's told me that along with the Topomax that i've been taking (Which increase secretions at the GABA-A receptor sites) that they work synergistically together to mediate the effects of HPPD really effectively. Today has been absolutely amazing. I've been coming down off of valium, and feel absolutely no come down effects at all, in fact I feel like i've increased my dosage of valium. The combination of Buspar and Topomax together = the feeling I would get off of taking 2mg of clonazepam.
  22. I'm excited to get to the maximum dosage of 250mg daily. We'l be splitting it up so that I take 125mg first thing in the morning, and another 125mg between lunch and 2 pm. This will go along with my 200mg of lamotrigine daily.
  23. Cognitively it acts as a stimulant at first. Imagine doing a line of cocaine - that lasted for 4 - 5 hours. It's that sort of mental clarity that topomax brings. But with that mental clarity, you see the decrease of the symptoms of the hppd with it. If you can picture that. After you've been on the drug for a while, that stimulant like effect subsides and what you're left with is a mood stabilizing effect, and a sort of added visual and mental acuity and tactfulness that lasts all day, which sort of "is" the hppd at that point. Hopefully what i'm saying here makes sense
  24. @Onemorestep if you have a psychiatrist that's open to prescribing topomax to you, i'd definitely recommend it. My experience has been nothing but positive. When I say that topomax clears up DP/DR, I should clear up the fact that it goes a little bit deeper then that - it goes to the core of the hppd and clears up the fizziness and brain fuzziness that the hppd brings and replaces it with a clear head. My psychiatrist has been filling me in on the details of the drug as we go through treatment, he said it also aids in your brains ability to translate short term memories into long term memories, which I believe might also be one of its mechanisms of action as to why it aids in the depersonalization effect that HPPD brings.
  25. Just an update on treatment, we are now weaning me off of valium, and have increased my dosage of topomax to 100 mg daily. The decrease in dosage of valium has proven to be rough, but for the 5 hours after my morning and supper time dosages of topomax I continue to experience the positive mood stabilizing effects and reduction of DP/DR effects. Currently however my HPPD symptoms are on the rise as I am coming off of valium, as I have been on it for a number of months. We'l be replacing the valium with Buspar, which has been proven to be generally as effective as benzodiazepines in treating anxiety. If i'm lucky, I might have found the golden combination of long term medications that can be taken to treat HPPD with the same efficacy as benzodiazepines, but without the negative side effects that benzodiazepines bring to the table. I'l keep you guys updated, particularly after I get off of benzodiazepines completely, and we reach the maximum dosage of topomax, and as the buspar kicks in. (which usually takes up to a month to happen)