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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

jbalsa2

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  1. jbalsa2

    hppd is a bitch sometimes

    Hi Jason, By the sounds of what your describing, if you don't have hugely noticeable visual snow or static, I don't actually think your HPPD is LSD induced. LSD induced HPPD seems to have a very characterized set of symptoms. Now not to say that you don't have HPPD, but your symptoms sound more along the line of mushroom or mdma induced HPPD. I can't totally say that this is good news, but from what i've read people with MDMA and mushroom induced HPPD have much higher recovery rates compared to those with LSD induced HPPD. My advice - don't take any more drugs of any kind, and keep yourself busy - i'd be willing to bet with the severity of your symptoms, you could make a full recovery in *give or take* 2 years.
  2. Hi Vladchik, I've read that some people completely lose symptoms even after stopping keppra, and I've read of an individual who says if he stops taking the keppra that the visuals come back. If it were me taking keppra, and my visuals completely went away, what I would do is continue to take keppra for another year or two years after my visuals went away, and then slowly reduce my keppra dose to see if my visuals have gone away completley.
  3. Actually there is a little bit more to it then that, science wise, in those who suffer from HPPD. Although you are not wrong in the sense that many people will have perceptual disturbances if they look at an object for long enough, this is just a neurological blip in the way that the biological brain works. One mechanism of action as to why perceptual disturbances are far more pronounced in those who have HPPD for example, is a proposed destruction of inter neuron GABA functioning. GABA is a key neurotransmitter that 'inhibits' and in turn would be a tremendous aid in our ability to tune out information that's not relevant to us. With people who have HPPD, they literally cannot tune out that information due to this destruction of interneuronal GABA functioning. This is why benzodiazepines for example, which cause an increase in the functionality of the GABA neuroreceptor, help people with HPPD. It doesn't stop the visual disturbances, but it certainly makes it 100x easier to ignore the fact that they are there and allows us to naturally cope with them or tune them out, which goes to support the GABA destruction hypothesis. Now you also have to remember that this is only one mechanism of action, of which there are several in people who have HPPD - otherwise an increase in GABA functioning to account for interneuronal GABA destruction would pose a complete loss of all visual disturbances, at least for the period of time that the person is on a benzodiazepine, which it does not, unfortunately do. So, it goes on, there is far more science wise that is going on. What you are trying to say, perhaps, is that all people naturally have the biological framework for which HPPD can base itself around. This is obvious. We are all human, we are all biological creatures, and there are natural disturbances in perception based off of the fact that there are mechanisms of action which cause our biological selves to function in the way that we do. :)
  4. Lamotrigine gave me an improvement of symptoms right up until the point where it gave me severe muscle movement disorders. There was no ability to continue lamotrigine for me; it was stop or go to the hospital. If anything on keppra, I've grown to like the stimulanty way that it makes me feel. I've noticed each brand feels slightly different - I take the Aurobindo brand generic because it has a more stimulanty feel to it, although I haven't noticed any change in libido. But that'll change from person to person. The name brand version of keppra made me extremely tired and somnolent. If you do try keppra, do two weeks at 250mg twice a day, and then go up to 500mg twice a day after two weeks. If after a month you haven't noticed the improvement or augmentation of some of your symptoms; you'll have your answer.
  5. Yeah that's exactly what I experienced on keppra, and it subsides. After a month of treatment the symptoms stabilize and you get used to the feeling of constantly being on keppra, which winds up being the as!e symptoms but at a very low level; where you don't notice the symptoms much to the point that they actually affect you severely. Sadly that's the thing about medications - you will feel medicated when on them. Just the way it goes. I take .05mg of clonidine twice a day as well, this med can be helpful with the initial onset of keppra, and I take it anyways to help with physical symptoms of anxiety. If you want the benefit, youl have to ride the onset symptoms out unfortunately. That's the nature of hppd.
  6. Yeah palinopsia is definitely very improved with keppra. I guess it's one of those 'youd have to try it to know what I mean' type of things. With keppra; keppra causes some central nervous system arousal, and it's actually indicated that keppra can cause psychosis on its own in otherwise healthy individuals. You know how HPPD is, mess with any other part of your brain and bam your hppd winds up getting worse. So it's in that sense that keppra made my symptoms worse for a while. Everyone's different, I can't be you to know whether you should continue lamotrigine or stop, but im just going off my own sense of judgement. Sadly for me I couldn't take lamotrigine at all as it caused me severe motor function and movement disorder related impairments. My body practically tried to rip it's bones out of its sockets automatically on lamotrigine.
  7. Yeah, but not the visual snow for example - that's still very much there. Before my visuals used to drag me into worse depersonalization if I zoned out on them or noticed them. On keppra I could stare at my visual snow for hours and not suffer a downward spiral of depersonalization.
  8. In the first month of taking keppra, my visual symptoms, although not particularly worse, became harsher in intensity. By the I mean that my visual symptoms felt like they had more of a physical impact on my brain then they normally would. Additionally, I became quite substantially more psychotic - to the point where after day 6 or 7 of treatment I was almost sure I'd have to stop therapy. After about 2 months into treatment is when I noticed the effect (to a measurable extent) that keppra was having. It's improvements are primarily in depersonalization, derealization, and if I had to put it in words - the grip that my hppd has on my concious thought process. My hppd just feels more manageable on keppra, my depressive periods are much more manageable, and my condition is generally more stable. Don't get me wrong I still have hppd - but there's a part of my old self that's returned again.
  9. I had a substantial worsening of my symptoms in the first month of taking keppra; but I rode it out, and now find the improvement I've been seeking. The way I see it, is if the worsening of symptoms you describe is tolerable, it would in my opinion be worth waiting it out for a month or two longer to see if things improve. The way I see it is that person from person, were not all that different - just like LSD gets everyone high, in theory lamotrigine should also give you the improvement that it's given others. The case report done on the lady who did see improvement on lamotrigine was on it for 6 months. If the symptoms remain tolerable, and after 2-4 months has elapsed and you still don't see improvement, I'd say try a different medication at that point.
  10. Yeah that's my point, if your noticing an exacerbation at 125 mg but not 100mg, maybe stay on 100 mg for a couple of months. The only reason I say that is because there's only really two medications out there at this point that present to you an actual cure over time. So if you exhaust both without really knowing for sure then that leaves you with no options right? In the end it's up to you, just my two cents.
  11. @Davidmckeon22 you have only been on it for a month and a half - perhaps try staying on just 100mg for a few months. With my keppra dosing it took at least 2 months for me to feel the positive change, and above that my improvement with keppra seems to be quite gradual - not something you'd notice in a week of dosing. Alternatively if your sure you'd like to stop you can always try taking levetiracetam (keppra)
  12. jbalsa2

    Sick but afraid to take medicine

    Acetaminophen, advil, pseudoephedrine. Actually you should be fine as long as you stick to any of the over the counter cold and flu pills. Just don't go hard on a bottle of cough syrup and you'll be okay.
  13. jbalsa2

    Suicide

    I certainly hope you guys consider otherwise. ? I attempted twice, first ditch being a complete failure and wound me up in a psychiatric unit for over a month. My second attempt I nearly succeeded, waking up 12 hours later after what should have been a fatal dose of heroin. I have to say this, after waking up after that 12 hours... Just opening my eyes and realizing I still had life to live was probably one of the biggest revelations of my life. My life has turned around since then, and I am considering school again and numerous other things which I would have never thought was possible in my situation. I deal with some severe side effects of my hppd, with a concurrent disorder - im diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and schizzoaffective disorder. I used to fly airplanes and had almost achieved my private pilot's license as a kid, and I lost it all to my illnesses. That being said, some times a month or two can change your entire outlook on life. I can't stress this enough; if your feeling suicidal, please go to a hospital, even if you can check yourself into a psychiatric facility or psychosocial rehabilitation centre; the therapy and time spent away from regular life can work wonders for your mindset. All is not lost ?
  14. jbalsa2

    What do you guys look forward to?

    For me, my HPPD 3 years ago was crippling to the point I had to leave my job, and make allot of sacrifices just to live. Im so very thankful that 3 years later, I can say that I've pretty much completely adapted to living life with this disorder, and that my symptoms aren't half of what they were when I first got HPPD. It cost me some time, but at 23 years old now I look forward to potentially going back to school, and generally continuing to live a life that I once had, that at the time was a life that I thought I had lost. The plus side being im successfully on 3 different medications, two of which have cured hppd on many occasions. Despite that I am already adapted and living a happy life again, I might (*might*) also come home to a surprise one day and find out that my hppd is gone. Either way, you learn to make the most of it ?
  15. jbalsa2

    Do you have Muscle twitches

    I've got muscle twitches too ? my psychiatrist doesn't want to give me any baclofen to treat the condition either. Logically baclofen would be the ideal medication for that symptom as it works on your brain rather then the muscles themselves, decreasing the amount of 'sensory output' to your muscles.
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