Hercules

Guys, I cannot thank you enough. I even cried some from your positive answers. Really. I have read them over and over. I guess I need to hear from others who have had it. I am quite deep down in dwelling on this, blaming myself for destroying my life. But I need to turn away from those thoughts. Firstly, I will nerver use drugs again: obviously some people can do it over and over but for me this is my body telling me never to use again. Because my doctors believed this to be exhaution syndrome, I have really changed my life a bit the last months. I am more tired than before so I sleep alot, at least 8 hours a night. I eat healthy. I replaced coffee with tea. As of today I will quit snus which is a kind of tobacco we use in Sweden. I keep alcohol to a minimum. What do you guys think of work-out? I will definitely look into yoga. But if the brain fog increase during exercise, should I take it easy or is it even good to force the brain to get used to the exercise? I guess I have also seen friends a little less then I usually do, again because I thought this was from exhaution, and all I needed was to rest alot. But I guess now things point to HPPD, it would be better if I just try to live normally? Again thank you for taking time to answer me. I dont know you guys and yet you do it to help a stranger. You are really good people.

Hi guys! I am a 30 year old male who have struggled for the past three months with what I now believe to be HPPD. It has been hell. I have lived in fear and only wish to get out of this. Would greatly appreciate any positive comments and help from you guys. If my English is incomprehensible I apologize, I am from Sweden. My symptoms - Floaters in both eyes - White snow (correct term?) when looking at white walls for instance. Also these blinking when closing my eyes. - Feeling of being inside a bubble, brain fog is a term I have seen which I think might suit this well. (This is definitely the worst part of my symptoms). Brain feels foggy and slow, like a small pressure on it. Worstens with head movement sort of, or maybe not. - I guess this "bubble"-feeling could be DS/DR. It is 24/7. - Vivid and horrible dreams. Although the nightmare really is waking up, my body thinking things will be normal, and the horrible insight that they are not. - Gets worse when new stimuli around, and unfortunately with exercise. - Numb feeling in head, it feels sensitive and especially to head movement. How it started It came about really sudden. It was February 3rd or something, a saturday. I had had an intense week, with morning work-outs monday-friday and then work. Friday night I stayed up till like 3 am playing video games with friends, I remember being really tired and thinking I should have stayed home (especially since I had woke up 5 am all days that week for the workout). Anyway, I think I had something to do saturday as well and then in the evening me and my girlfriend had friends over. I was really tired, only having a light beer. Suddenly, I blinked and was in this bubble. It has been there ever since. Drug use Me and my gf have been doing Ecstasy with a couple of friend for a total of 6-7 times for the past year and a half. First time was summer 2015 and last time was this New Years. All trips except one (which was in May 2016 and the trip itself was not that bad, just we had too much making the recovery long) were great experiences, although for the last maybe 3 rounds it has taken me a couple of weeks to return to normal. On New Years I think I had 1 or 1,25 pills. It was a nice trip, although it required some rest afterwards, as I mentioned. Seeing doctors Since I had no knowledge about HPPD, I was initially convinced I had MS or a brain tumour. The fear of this drove me into the first panic attack I have ever had. Wish this upon nobody. I had a total of 2-3 panic attacks. I have now seen a couple of doctors. I had an MRI of the brain which came out normal. Blood test were normal as well. The doctors are now investigating weather I have an exhaution syndrom, considering I work and work-out alot. I have not mentioned my drug use, although I doubt they would know what HPPD is. Current state There has been no improvement at all really. Apart from not having any more panic attacks - they disappeared once I had the MRI done. It is only during the last couple of weeks I have started reading about HPPD and felt like this is probably what I have got? Although the symptoms did not appear right after a trip, although in pretty close proximity to drug use (1month arter ecstasy, 1 week arter week). Those were not bad trips either. It really frihhtens me that this seems to be something you have to live with? It sort of feels like a life sentance, only for using recreational drugs a few times (I do not consider myself a heavy user). I mean, I guess I could live with the floaters, and I guess my eye problems per se are not that difficult to live with. But the brain fog (maybe though it is the vision changes causing this?) and the derealizational feelings are horrible, as well as the numb, sensitive sort of feeling in the head. Finally I do not know if somebody actually will find time to read all this but if you do, I can not express how greatful I would be. If someone could convince me that it is possible to get better from, especially the brain fog, or hear from some one who recovered, I would be so glad. This is eating me up. I want to become my old self. Friends, can I sometime in the future live a nice life again? Best regards