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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

TheMythos

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Everything posted by TheMythos

  1. Onset of HPPD - April 2009, psilocybin mushrooms RADIOLOGY REPORT FACILITY: REDACTED UNIT/AGE/GENDER: D.5ES IN AGE:26 Y SEX:M PATIENT NAME/DOB: MYTHOS, THE 03/01/1989 UNIT NUMBER: REDACTED ACCOUNT NUMBER: REDACTED ACCESSION NUMBER: REDACTED EXAMINATION: MRI of the brain without and with contrast. DATE: February 19, 2016 at 1710. COMPARISON: Head CT scan of February 18, 2016. CLINICAL HISTORY: Visual disturbances and delusions. The bilateral facial paresthesias. Initial encounter. TECHNIQUE: Standard multisequential multiplanar magnetic resonance imaging study of the brain was performed prior to and following the administration of 10 ml Gadavist. FINDINGS: Diffusion weighted images show no evidence of acute infarction. The CSF spaces are of normal size and configuration. No mass effect, midline shift, or acute intracranial hemorrhage is present. Punctate areas of increased signal on T2 and FLAIR images are noted in the periventricular and subcortical white matter of the frontal regions bilaterally. The overall appearance of the remainder of the brain parenchyma is within normal limits on all sequences, including the gray-white differentiation. Images obtained following injection of contrast demonstrate no abnormal enhancement patterns. There is mucosal thickening within the maxillary, sphenoid, ethmoid, and right frontal sinuses, most prominently affecting the left maxillary sinus. However, no air-fluid levels are present. The mastoid air cells are aerated. IMPRESSION: 1. No evidence of mass, hemorrhage, or acute infarct. 2. Punctate T2 signal abnormalities within the periventricular and subcortical white matter of the frontal regions bilaterally. This is a nonspecific finding, but can be associated with demyelinating or dysmotility processes, vasculitis, chronic migraine headaches, microangiopathic changes, etc. 3. Multifocal sinusitis. Dictated by: REDACTED, M.D. Images and Report reviewed and interpreted by: REDACTED, M.D. <PS><Electronically signed by: REDACTED, M.D.> 02/19/2016 1928 D: 02/19/2016 1925 T: 02/19/2016 1925 Component Results There is no component information for this result. General Information Collected: 02/19/2016 7:25 PM Resulted: 02/19/2016 7:30 PM Ordered By: REDACTED Result Status: Final result
  2. http://psychedelic-information-theory.com/Eidetic-Hallucination This article comes closest to describing what I've been experiencing for 2 1/2 years. I know that Tylenol PM which contains diphenhydramine is an antihistamine that is anticholinergic. It made me go into a full blown mental trip when I took it 2 years ago to try to sleep. The thing is, my long term memory is extremely sharp. I can recall memories from 3 and 4 years old perfectly in my mind as if they're happening in that moment. Most of you guys know that my worst symptom is the mental imagery and constant moving, intrusive images. Also with the intrusive thoughts and images there's an OCD component but there also seems to be a component where memory consolidation has been altered (the hippocampus?). I can look at anything and see it instantly in my head. It's almost like my thoughts are lightning quick and whatever I think about appears as a mental image, or whatever I look at. At first I figured because of my excellent memory I might have too much choline but I know the brain isn't as simple as that. If an anticholinergic put me into a full blown mental circus am I going in the right direction looking at choline supplements? But wouldn't I already have a lot of choline because of my excellent memory? What am I missing here?
  3. TheMythos

    HPPD question for who had been recovered

    I'm just going to assume you've tried all the usual suspects for anxiety?
  4. TheMythos

    Year 3

    Good to hear. We're all probably going to get sick or deal with an illness at some point in our lives (the whole Buddhist aging, sickness, and dying thing)...better to have faced that stuff now to know our strength. I believe you will continue to heal until you no longer think about this disorder and it becomes a footnote in your life.
  5. I won't agree because you aren't a neuroscientist and I don't think you know what you're talking about. I read the entire thread. I play devils advocate and remain skeptical in the name of science and finding answers. For that I'm attacked as somehow denying reality because it's my way of dealing with brain damage...or something. The most plausible theory we have of how psychedelics work in the brain is that they desynchronize certain brain regions, altering the brain waves and magnetic field around the brain. Why couldn't that be off or altered in some way? Why does it have to be cell death caused by glutamate excitotoxicity? You don't get to determine who's a productive member of this forum and who isn't. You've already been banned once for insulting people, so I don't really think you have any leg to stand on like you're this paragon of civility and tolerance on this forum.
  6. TheMythos

    Contact Lense Strangeness

    It sounds like some strange version of sensorimotor ocd. Could have been there all along, the stress of the trip and no sleep exacerbated it and brought it to the surface.
  7. I think we should all get genetic testing and see if there are any similarities in our genomes. I'm a C667T homozygous for MHTFR. Apparently I have moderate trouble metabolizing folate. If you don't know what that means it can mean neurotransmitter imbalances and less natural antioxidants like glutathione and an increase in homocysteine. In other words, dirty neurons/cells. You can get the test from 23andme and then go to https://www.selfdecode.com which gives you a comprehensive health analysis based on your genes. Also I had something where my 5ht2a receptor is sensitive and it said I could be sensitive to the side effects of SSRIs because of this.
  8. TheMythos

    HPPD question for who had been recovered

    I see images in my head every day and feel like my consciousness and nervous system are being raped. 2 1/2 years off all illicit substances. Quit smoking 6 months ago. Just quit caffeine.
  9. TheMythos

    HPPD question for who had been recovered

    My symptoms tend to come and go based on stress (or with migraines). I used to get snow but now it's gone or I filter it out. My dad sees black static on the wall too and floaters but he doesn't have hppd and it never bothered him. I used to have after images but those went too.
  10. TheMythos

    Life

    People that have never had to deal with mental problems or brain issues in their life will usually be dismissive because they've never experienced it. "You don't have anything to be sad about" is classic mental health ignorance. You should try to go out and hangout with your friends whenever you get the opportunity though.
  11. I took the Amanita like 11 years ago. You really think I'd be poisoned after all this time? How would uridine help?
  12. Yeah, probably. Ag isn't available in the states.
  13. TheMythos

    DP/DR SUFFERERS! TOPOMAX!

    I've been thinking of naltrexone... maybe try that first because it shouldn't take as long as keppra to work.
  14. Can someone a little more knowledgeable explain why you would choose Keppra over it's analogue Briviact when Briviact has less side effects and a 20 fold more affinity for the same MoA?
  15. TheMythos

    need help and hope..

    Nobody knows and it doesn't help you in any way to speculate until concrete studies give specific answers and treatment recommendations. Almost every antipsychotic is a 5ht2a antagonist (such as risperidone) and they tend to make a lot of people worse. The best line from that Wiki article is "but the visual system is probably too complex to know for certain." Magnesium is an NMDA (glutamate) antagonist but if magnesium was "the answer" this forum probably wouldn't exist because people would just be like "Oh HPPD? Take some magnesium." I don't know who Dr. Nichols is but he's speculating. I'll leave you with a quote by William James, the father of American psychology: "My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items which I notice shape my mind." in The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1
  16. TheMythos

    need help and hope..

    First - stop smoking weed. It isn't helping. Second - it would be beneficial for you to stop researching this and focus on overall health, mental and physical. I know you want it to go away. We all do. A bunch of us researching this on the internet trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together isn't going to bring any answers until some serious funding and medical research takes place. 2 guys in a lab doesn't mean shit until other researchers get on board and do multiple randomized double-blind peer-reviewed studies with sufferers and non-sufferers participating. Third - figure out what supplements may help and try them, along with exercise, healthy diet, meditation, yoga, tai chi and distraction. Try to socialize and do fun stuff even if you don't feel like it. Force yourself into the world. The best thing anyone suffering from HPPD can do is try to get their stress and anxiety down. Most symptoms should start to go with time as long as you live healthy and stay away from drugs. I know it's hard being sober but you don't really have a choice anymore unless you want this to get worse over time.
  17. TheMythos

    Glutamate

    "First identified in the 1950s by Rita Levi-Montalcini and Stanley Cohen, who later won a Nobel prize for its discovery, NGF has been extensively studied and shown to be one of the primary building blocks of brain health and neuroplasticity. The presence of sufficient NGF enhances cognition by encouraging the growth and branching of axons, the long threadlike nerve cell extensions along which impulses are conducted; insufficient NGF impairs cognition by leading to neuronal decay and the eventual death of nerve cells. The more axons that exist and the better their health, the more rapidly and efficiently impulses can be transmitted and the better the cognition and overall brain function." Glutamate excitotoxicity isn't the only thing that causes cell death. If HPPD is neuronal death (big if) we need to look at NGF and BDNF since exercise helps so many people as well as Lion's Mane and other adaptogenic, nootropic herbs. The reason some may have been helped with LONG-TERM antidepressant use is because of the neuroplasticity that SSRIs promote and the reduced glutamate signaling over months of 5ht2a downregulation. SSRIs help attenuate stress within a month. Once someone's stress response lowers they feel better and feeling better creates a positive snowball effect where they can adequately eliminate certain stressors that are making them worse, improving brain function and nervous system signaling.
  18. TheMythos

    Zoloft?

    They also promote neuroplasticity in the hippocampus.
  19. Apparently I can't get this in the US because it was never submitted to the FDA for approval by Novartis... "While agomelatine may be relatively well tolerated during shorter clinical trials, often times more serious adverse effects are seen with long term use and this appears to be the case with agomelatine. Long term use of agomelatine was found to be associated with liver damage and its use in the markets it is approved in is contraindicated in patients with impaired liver function. Impaired liver function in individuals is fairly common. Even the presence of elevated liver enzymes may preclude the use of agomelatine. If agomelatine were to be approved and used in the United States, routine lab monitoring of liver enzymes and function would be recommended throughout treatment." Did your doctor mention this Rafiki?
  20. The thing is, you didn't get to the 10 day mark where most people report relief. 6 weeks in and your 5ht2a receptors would have been downregulated. Apparently it gets worse before it gets better. But I'll look into ag.
  21. TheMythos

    is Lamotrigine the cure ?

    I did about 100mg for a month so I'm not one to say but as for a cure...many, many people here have tried Lamictal up to 200mg or whatever for months and saw no relief in symptoms. Some did I guess, but definitely not a majority or you would see Lamictal as a pinned post. From my estimates far more people have been "cured" from keppra.
  22. TheMythos

    Glutamate

    I just know, at least for me, that glutamate and the opioid system are involved in some way from the CPTSD that I have. There's a reason that klonopin helps hppd to the extent that it does and I'm not sure that it's just pharmacological. A typical yoga session increases GABA by 27%. Why aren't we doing site wide experiments with natural remedies like this to see what they do and what they don't?
  23. TheMythos

    DP/DR SUFFERERS! TOPOMAX!

    Buspar didn't do shit for me but I don't remember how long I was on it. Why aren't you considering Briviact? Isn't it an analogue of Keppra's with less side effects? Have you tried the ketogenic diet? It has a lot of anticonvulsant properties.
  24. I've never tried uridine. Quitting smoking made it worse and turned my consciousness more body inwards where I started feeling my stomach more and the middle of my chest. I started getting bad heartburn after I quit so I kept seeing my ribcage in my head. And for me it's like when one sensation' s been opened it gets stored in the memory banks easier. I've "forgotten" these things and then have an intrusive thought about my stomach and it pops up again. Like I said the stress has been overwhelming so I'm not sure if this is psychological too with people dying and whatnot. The imagery started turning violent after I quit. I've re-entered therapy and a mental health facility and I'm wondering what to ask for. I might be able to get klonopin again and I read an anecdotal scientific report where some guys symptoms went away permanently after 4 months of klonopin use. The effects remained after he got off of it. I just don't get why my hppd would be choline based because the only dissociatives I've done were Amanita muscaria and salvia. I never did dxm or ketamine or anything like that. And I don't even know if salvia messes with acetylcholine. Are you saying if I did try keppra for a while and got off the effects would be permanent? Even the cognitive ones?
  25. @Onemorestep what do you think? What med or supplements should I be looking at to try to reduce this?
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