MadDoc

Understand, I'm not knocking the use of medications. Some people in this forum have had success with them. Why don't I take any? My symptoms aren't that bad at this stage in my life. I still have visuals, but I can live with that. I've had this disorder for over four decades and I've learned to adapt. Medications can have side effects and I'd prefer not to deal with that. In general, I'd prefer not to introduce any medications into my body unless I need them to live (if I got cancer for example). I've avoided blood pressure and lipid lowering meds through natural practices and life style changes. At this stage of my life, I'm happy and active. I'm not going to take anything that could possibly derail that. This is my path. I'm not suggesting that it's a better approach than anyone else's.

I've never taken medications for this disorder. Well, not exactly true. In my 30s I drank a bit more than was healthy. Back when I started noticing symptoms it was the 1970s. There weren't a lot of options back then. Now, I manage just being clean. If you dosed just that one time, and you're staying clean, then your prospects are good.

Check out the "Medications and other treatments" forum. As I recall people have discussed your question quite a bit. I have no experience with SSRI meds so I'm not much (any) help.

I have similar symptoms, but there's nothing evil about what I experience. I can't comment on medications because I didn't take that path. I found that trying not to give my visuals too much attention helps. It's not easy and there are times when it bothers me. I guess it's all about focus. Example, in my case sidewalks are the worst. All the little stones. First the ones with similar colors start to connect. If I stare, the images become more complex and start to move. If I focus on a thought, a song, a problem I'm trying to solve, then my focus isn't on my visual field and the visuals are more forgiving. It's hard, I realize that. All I can speak to is how I deal with this disorder. Hope that helps. Hang in there and take care.

I get colorful "sawtooth" images once or twice a year. The doctor said I had experienced a migraine. A lot like this animation below. In my case, it lasts for about 20 to 30 minutes. I don't think the cause of my migraines has anything to do with hppd. However, my visual auras have complex patterns embedded in them. That, I think, is related to hppd. I never get a headache, but I guess that's not unusual. The doctor didn't think it was a big deal. I had some eye tests done to rule out vision issues (or to get more money out of me).

Totally agree with the "things that do work". Staying busy and setting goals can help the mind get focused. Sure worked for me, especially raising kids. We all needs something to look forward to. There's nothing better than anticipation when something fun is coming up. I have an understanding wife as well. She understands that I'm out there. Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. CBD helps me sleep which reduces anxiety. Who doesn't enjoy a hot bath? You're figuring this out. That's fantastic!

I don't know you so this is pure speculation. Is it anxiety that's getting the best of you or DR? For me anxiety was the worst part. I always felt like I was always on a low dose of dirty acid. That and this strange electricity that always seemed to be running through my body. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with anxiety. I don't know about DR. I had never heard about it until I came to this forum, though I think I experience it from time to time. Staying and keeping focused helped. As for visuals, mine have improved with age. Perhaps I'm just so used to them that they're just "normal" for my aging skull. My CEVs vanished quite suddenly in my late 40s. Never give up, and never underestimate yourself. You're clearly a bright person. Finding what works for you is like trying to solve a puzzle. I don't mean there's a path to a cure, but perhaps a path to making life manageable. Don't give up.

Venting is healthy. Gets it all out and into the open. I'm one of those old timers, turning 60 soon. I found that finding an outlet for stress and anxiety really helped. I took up a daily meditation practice (aka mindful meditation). Regular exercise also burns off that weird jittery electricity that gets into my nerves. Just keeping busy helps in general. I took a "no medication" approach so I can't comment on what might help, but there are others in this forum who have found medications helpful. While many of my symptoms have improved, I'm still stuck with the visuals. I look at it like having a disability. We just have to continue with life the best we can. I guess that all anyone can do. We're not bad people because have this disorder, we just have a disability. Hang in and keep posting even if just to vent.

Thank you posting the article and for your comments. One thing to note, in the drug culture in the early 70s, "flasbacks" were thought to be nonsense. They were portrayed in the media to be like experiencing a full dose. I had never known of anyone who experienced anything like that. We all realized that dosing made you experience the world differently once the dose wore off, but we thought it was limited to things like reevaluating your priorities in life. I never heard of anyone discussing the permanent disabling symptoms of hppd. If I had thought about it some, it should have been obvious. There were certainly some acid "casualties" around. We just assumed this was due to some underlying mental condition that had come to the surface. I wish the media had been honest about psychedelics. We all thought the flasback danger was just a scare tactic. Then again, I'm not sure I would have listened.

I also had a love affair with acid. To me it wasn't just a tool to find answers, it was the answer. I was just a kid and didn't realize how wrong I was. Unfortunately, back in the early 1970s, there were a lot of people around who also thought it was the answer. As @sami stated, you haven't ruined you life. You're in a strange and unfamiliar place and that can be scary. In this forum there are quite a few people who have done remarkable things with their lives. While I don't consider my life remarkable, it sure has been a great ride. We can't turn back the clock and change the things we've done. However, once you get clean, the healing can begin. Don't tempt fate by continuing to use drugs. Set some goals for yourself and start moving toward them. Never give up on yourself. Hang in there.

Welcome. You've come to the right forum. What you're dealing with is reminiscent of many of the posts in this fourm. You're in good company. I have a few suggestions. Early hppd like symptoms can moderate over time, but be patient. It can take a while. You may just be experiencing the "aftershocks" following your last trip. Stay away from psychedelics including cannabis. You mentioned that your symptoms are mild now. It can get much worse with continued drug use. Try not to focus on your symptoms. Instead, focus on your life, school, work, etc. There are quite a few people in this forum who have lived successful and happy lives with hppd. Try to be optimistic. I'm not trying to suggest you have hppd. I'm not qualified to do that. I'm no expert and I'm not a doctor. I'm just someone who has had this disorder for a long time. Hang in there, and take care.

I just noticed this thread is "hidden". Was I not supposed to post here? If so, I'll remove my post. I was wondering why it was pink Interesting! I don't think I've mentioned this before, I'm dyslexic. My writing skills in grade school were poor at best. I've always loved to read, but I read very slowly. In high school I was labeled as "slow" even though I excelled in mathematics and the sciences. The creative arts (painting, drawing, etc.) came easily to me as well. I wasn't diagnosed as being dyslexic until I was in my early 30s (my wife suggested I get tested). Once I started using computers and had a keyboard, I found I could write! With a pen and paper, I still have difficulty. Even writing a simple note is difficult. It's strange because using a pencil and paper I could write symbolic mathematical notation with ease. Unfortunately, high school was when I started gobbling down psychedelics which didn't help. I hope my post is relevant to this thread. I read your post and what you dealt with in high school sounded very familiar. The brain is a strange place, at least mine is.

I'd stop consuming weed. Around the time I quit dosing it started to give me panic attacks. Before that time, I used to smoke weed at every opportunity. I've only smoked a handful of times since. Each time, I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind. It's almost like my brain is totally out of my control. I honestly felt like I had lost it. Fortunately, it wears off eventually.

First off, don't panic. You're here and you're clearly mentally intact. Try not to assume every symptom you have might be hppd. For example, muscle twitching. There are a lot of reasons that could happen. As humans, our interpretation of reality isn't always just exactly perfect. Don't assume every anomaly is related to hppd. Try not to focus on your symptoms. Take that vacation and relax. In the mean time, focus on work, fun, hobbies, friends, school, etc. It's too easy to implode making any symptoms seem worse. Never underestimate how strong you are. If you do have some level of hppd (note, I'm not a doctor or an expert on hppd) you CAN live a full and happy life. Read some of the recent posts in the "introduction" forum. There are a number of people who have done some amazing things. Also consider this. Psychedelics can have after effects that aren't necessarily permanent (trails fo example). Don't assume your symptoms will just get worse. If you stay clean, and that includes cannabis, the better your prospects. Stay clean, stay positive, and take care of yourself (and those around you). Keep posting, and read posts. Lots of good information in here, lots of bright people as well.

I'm repeating myself (like most of my posts). I too felt alone for decades. When my symptoms became apparent, there was no internet so finding information was almost impossible. None of my friends who dosed as heavily as I did had the issues I did. I discussed it with a doctor once (late 80s) and he basically said "you got what you deserved for using drugs". Back in the early 90s I did see a short TV clip of a guy who described having symptoms that fit this disorder. He said that faces looked like different colored dots. I suddenly realized "it's not just me". Finding this forum was the first time I could really discuss what I live with. I just wish I'd found it before I was in my late 50s! So, no, you're not going mad. In this forum, you're in good company.

Welcome. You're more living proof that this disorder doesn't necessarily limit us. I've had hppd over the long haul as well. The good news is that some of my symptoms are almost totally gone. It took decades for them to go away, but I'll take it! Unfortunately, I can't shake the visuals, but I've had them for so long, they're just part of me.

I have a very similar history. I started dosing just before my 14th birthday (1973). I assumed the symptoms I had would vanish when I stopped. Of course, they didn't. I too thought I was the only one in the world who was stuck with this. I stopped dosing in 1979, there was no internet, and nobody to talk to. I realized there's nothing particularly unique about me so I figured there must be others. When I found this site, I realized that I wasn't alone. Life has been good to me as well and many of my symptoms have nearly vanished. I still have significant visuals though. I'm almost 60. Welcome!

Yes, there is hope for you. Don't start thinking there is no hope. Your symptoms significantly moderated before and that's a really good sign. I have no idea why the flu, tamiflu, or antibiotics would cause a relapse (I'm not a doctor or a medical professional). I'm hyper-sensitive to cold medications and don't take them. You may have a similar issue Have you had a physical since you were sick? Just curious. Stay clean, stay focused, and give yourself some time. I can't stress enough, your life is worth living! Don't ever underestimate your inner strength. Hang in there and take care.

You're clearly mentally intact and you recognize there might be an issue. Be thankful that you discovered this early on. Also, you dosed quite recently. Even after a chemical like LSD wears off, there can be residual effects that aren't necessarily permanent. Try not to dwell on your fear because fear can cause stress and stress can make everything feel worse. As Jay said, stay clean and that included cannabis. Give yourself some time and be patient. Hang in there.

Every one of us has different circumstances. Understood. Each of us can take the path of being negative or being positive. @hope1 I'm very happy to see that you're posting. Honestly.

Just curious, have you had any medical tests since your surgery? I'm wondering if you have an infection of some kind.

You're not "screwed". Not at all. Like I, and most people in this forum will say, stay clean. Avoid psychoactive drugs, that's very important! Be patient, I don't know if you just dosed that once. If so, it's likely the symptoms will fade. However, be patient. It can take a while. Keep moving with your life. Try to focus your mind on the productive and joyful aspects of your life. I'm an old guy who took a ton of psychedelics. Some of my symptoms appear to be perminent. However, I've never considered myself as being screwed. Life has been good to me, and I hope to ride this planet around the sun many more times. Hang in there and never give up.

That's rough. Having your symptoms fade away only to have them come roaring back. Fortunately, I've been able to avoid prescription medications due to lifestyle changes. Granted, I've only dealt with age related issues like cholesterol and blood pressure. I think it's important to tell our doctors and healers that we have, or have had, hppd. I suspect most of them won't have a clue, but perhaps it'll prompt them to get one. Hang in there. If your symptoms faded chances are they will again.

Never give up. We're given this amazing opportunity to witness whatever "this" is. There are a number of us old folks in here who have dealt with this disorder for a long time and we're all doing surprisingly well. It's easy to fall into despair. I sure did early on. I look at it as a disability. If I had lost my eyesight or lost a limb, what can be done? Do I bail on life or get up each day and do the best I can? As for not caring, there are folks in here who do care. People trying different techniques, prescriptions, and lifestyle changes that might help. People share what they find and they wouldn't do that if they didn't care. Do the big corporate interests care? No, they just care about how much money they can squeeze out of everyone. It's heartless, and it isn't fair. As a species we could do so much better. This disorder can be so hard to deal with. Throw trying to live, and it's even harder, at times ridiculous. Personally, I wouldn't trade this opportunity to be here for anything with or without hppd. I realize I'm babbling again. I guess being a space shot is also permanent in my case. Hang in there, and I hope you continue to share in this forum. You never know how your experiences might help someone in the future.

Permanently? I suspect my visuals are permanent, so yes, it's possible for some symptoms to loiter around. Understand that I took a ridiculous amount of psychedelics at a young age. It doesn't mean anything is permanent in your case. That being said, many of my symptoms have vanished or have significantly moderated. Degenerative? I associate that term with something like Alzheimer's disease. I've had this condition roughly 40 years and my mind is as sharp as ever. I'm no expert on hppd. All I really understand is how it has effected me. I'm not sure if that addresses your concerns, but I hope it was useful.