MadDoc

Anxiety goes with living in this modern world. Learning to deal with the constant barrage of input sober isn't always easy.

Yes, staying drug free, at least for a while, is a very good idea. I mean, you don't want to dose worrying that it might bring on this condition. I, unfortunately, was totally ignorant of the consequences when I was using. Since you've only dosed once I suspect you're going to be fine.

Weed makes my visuals intolerable and I've only indulged maybe 10 times since I quit dosing back in 1980. It brings on racing thoughts, racing heartbeat, and crazy hallucinations. The fact that your CEVS have moderated is a good sign IMHO. Mine lasted for a few decades before, almost suddenly, going away. I can't comment on medication because I've never taken anything for this condition but there are people in here who are very knowledgeable. Obviously, the best thing to do is to refrain from taking psychoactive substances because this condition can get much worse. Take care of yourself and the healing will begin.

Not selfish in the slightest. You're doing the two things that really helped me (meditation and sobriety). In the first 10 years of having visuals after quitting drugs I had a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes my visuals were terrible but then it would moderate for a while. I've never taken meds for hppd so I can't comment on that. What really helped me was staying focused. For a time I was almost regimented going to school, raising kids, working, etc. Now I'm just an old burnout who takes life as it comes. I don't know if that helps at all. The visuals can be tough to deal with but I've found that the brain adapts it's own filter so they're not as noticeable. It just takes a while. Take care and hang in.

I think anxiety is one of the symptoms of hppd and anxiety can make symptoms worse. Vicious circle. I'm not saying I think you have it because I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis. I've just had the condition for a long time. Are you doing anything to address the anxiety? School in an of itself can provoke anxiety. I can't say anything about medication because I've never taken any for my symptoms (except alcohol for a while which was a BAD idea). Meditation is what works for me. It doesn't cost anything and you never need a refill. If you haven't stopped using psychoactive substances that's a good first step. Also, give yourself some time. It's possible that your symptoms will moderate. I often write the following. I do so because I mean it. Even if your symptoms linger you can live a productive and happy life. Don't despair.

I have no experience with MDMA but there are a number of people in this forum who do. From their posts it can certainly cause hppd symptoms. There are also a number of people who have had delayed symptoms that showed up after they stopped using. It sounds like you're not using anything now which is the best thing you can do for yourself. Eliminating other possible causes is a good idea which you're also doing. My visuals will probably never go away but most of my other symptoms did. Give yourself some time. If you are experiencing hppd symptoms they can take a while to moderate and/or go away. Hang in there. Even if the symptoms are persistent you can live a productive and wonderful life. Sounds corney but that's the truth.

My best advice is to refrain from psychedelics and avoid weed. Smoking amplifiers my visuals to the point where they're really distracting. At least take a break because the symptoms could get worse with continued use. As Thinkers stated, give it some time.

Also, a sober life is a wonderful life. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out.

Permanent in my case but I dosed heavily for years. If I had stopped when I was 14 i think it would have cleared up.

When I was young (a long time ago) I used to have those half awake/half asleep dreams where you know where you are but the body is paralyzed. It's usually accompanied with vivid images. Grotesque faces are apparently common and that's exactly what I saw when it happened to me. I guess it's pretty common. There's a name for it that escapes me at the moment. I don't know if that's what you experienced but it sounds similar. It can also be accompanied by a full body buzzing not unlike a huge inhalation of nitrous.

Cannabis makes my symptoms intolerable. It makes my visuals very intense. When I first started to get symptoms it was always after smoking. I guess for some of us it's a trigger of some kind. I'm not an expert on hppd but staying away from the herbs might be a good idea.

I can definately relate. I smoked quite a bit of DMT back in the day. I also dosed for about six years. Seeing shapes in the clouds and especially the trees is an ongoing symptom for me. I understand how, at times, it can be interesting and even entertaining but, like you, I can't "unsee" these things. I can't touch cannabis because my visuals get out of hand and my thoughts (and heart) race. Staying clear of psychoactive substances, which you're already doing, is the best medicine. I used to feel like I was tripping all the time but that symptom went away after a number of years. Now I just have the visuals.

Hi Alex. I have what you describe when you look at carpets. With me it happens when I look at anything with a fine grain (sand, cement, textured ceilings, etc.). I used to have intense CEVs which have cleared up but it took a long time. Note, I dosed hundreds of times so it's not a surprise. I'm not familiar with the chemical you've ingested but I'm assuming it's a psychedelic. Your symptoms sure sound like hppd to me. However, I'm not a doctor or an expert on the topic. I've just had it for a long time. You're doing the right thing by refraining from psychoactive substances. Because you've only dosed a few times I think you have a better chance at recovering. You're also taking care of your body which, for me, helped a lot. Also, the fact that the symptoms fade at times sounds like an excellent sign. My visuals are constant unless I'm focused on something like driving, work, or a hobby where I use my hands. Above all, don't despair! Even if your symptoms don't entirely go away you can live a wonderful and productive life. Hang in there.

Have you used psychedelics? Edit Sorry, somehow I missed the sentence containing "molly". Never used it myself but there are a number of people in this forum who have experience with it and hppd. That being said, give yourself a little more time. It may just be residual seratonin depletion.

I started getting symptoms after my first dose. At first they were infrequent and only were apparent when I smoked cannabis. It's very possible that you're experiencing what I did. It might not be a bad idea to stay away from psychedelics and cannabis to see if the symptoms clear up. You may just be experiencing residual visuals but, as I recall, those didn't last more than a few days, not six weeks. I think if I had refrained after my first three doses my hppd wouldn't have been a long term disorder. Above all don't panic. Give yourself some time and it's likely that it will resolve itself. Note, I'm not a doctor and I'm no expert on hppd. I've just had it for a long time. Hang in there!

Cannabis gives me panic attacks, racing heartbeat, racing thoughts, and my visuals go out of control. I've consumed it perhaps 10 (12?) times since I stopped dosing and always have the same reaction. For me, there is a strong connection with hppd and cannabis though it's not the cause. It's been said the weed today isn't your Dad's weed (or something like that). It used to be mild and mellow. Now, Yikes!

Mine started after my first trip. I didn't think anything of it really. It wasn't until about 5 years of continual dosing that I though i might have a problem. Every time I would smoke cannabis I would have vivid hallucinations. Oh well, water under the bridge. No regrets, it simply "is".

"I long for the day I can look at a blank white wall and see it for what it is". In my case I doubt that's ever going to happen. That being said, some of my symptoms have gone away. For example CEVS have almost totally cleared up. Good to hear your symptoms are moderating some. That's a good sign!

I drink coffee in binges and my visuals are no different. Always there, always will be. Being tired makes them worse or more noticeable. Second hand weed doesn't do anything to me and I'm hyper-sensitive when consumed "first hand".

I don't watch TV much so I'm not sure about that. There's too much trying to grab at ones attention. When you go outside, can you take it all in? How about pictures, can you see the whole thing instead of being drawn into one part of it? Just curious hoping to find something I can relate to in my experiences.

That is a huge recovery. Staying sober is the best medicine. For me, getting on with life helped a lot. I suspect, over time, smelling cannabis won't phase you much. Time is curative.

I've found that focusing on something like work, a hobby, driving, or even something as simple as bird watching (hey, I'm old) reduces my visuals significantly. If I'm just walking with a clear head my visuals dominate. I'm not sure if that's something that might help but, as I've found, anything is worth a try.

I didn't see this anywhere though I may have missed it. Are there any conferences or seminars related to HPPD?

When it comes to the visuals, what helped me was simple acceptance. It's the same approach I took when being on an extreme dose of psychedelics. Let go, don't fight it, it doesn't exist. That's how I deal with my visual anomolies today. Not sure if that helps but it works for me.

CEVs went away roughly 25 years after I stopped dosing. Strange thing was I really didn't notice. One day I just realized they were gone. The mind is a strange place.