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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

MadDoc

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Everything posted by MadDoc

  1. We all have our ups and downs. I'll have weeks where I hardly notice my symptoms, other weeks they're more noticeable. For me, it's how I'm feeling over the long haul. That being said, my CEVs vanished over just a few weeks after having had them for a long time. So, sudden improvements do occur.
  2. @bowties Very well stated. Staying clean and acceptance are key I think. Focus, determination and attitude go a long way as well. Also, keep in mind that this disability can and often does improve. A happy and productive life isn't necessarily out of reach.
  3. I feel tiny amounts of THC. In my case, it produces a very uncomfortable experience complete with panic attacks. I haven't touched marijuana in a very long time. I take cbd oil to combat insomnia and it works well. The oil I take has a trace amount of thc, but even with my hyper-sensitive brain, I can't detect any. I like cbd oil because I don't feel groggy in the morning. In the US cbd oil has to contain less than 0.3 percent thc. I don't take cbd during the day because it makes me sleepy. It doesn't decrease my visuals (my primary symptom) , but a good night's sleep sure helps.
  4. @jake it gets better. It really does. The mind has a way of adapting and hard work toward getting well pays off. I realize I'm sounding like an infomercial, I'm not much of a writer. I have visuals after all of these years, but I'm so happy to be here. People with disabilities can live happy lives. All we can do is the best we can do.
  5. I've never heard of phenergen. I looked it up to reduce my ignorance a bit. Please talk to someone to get some help. Surround yourself with people in your life who care about you. Please talk to a medical professional about what you're going through. Please set aside the notion of checking out. Please. I had what I would consider severe hppd. Over the decades it has significantly improved. I'm nobody special, just another Bozo on this planet. If I found a path toward wellness, then it's certainly possible. Life with this disability has its challenges, I understand that. Things right now may seem intolerable, but you never know, your situation may improve before long. There are also medications that can help. So many avenues that may help your situation. One step at a time. Don't give up, fight back, and never underestimate yourself. You matter!
  6. Thank you for your thoughtful and positive post. I'd like to reiterate, it can and often does get better, much better. Keep moving, keep focused, live healthy, and be patient.
  7. MadDoc

    Reassurance

    I used to smoke weed constantly. All of a sudden it started giving me panic attacks and it made my visuals intolerable . Apparently panic attacks from using THC isn't uncommon. It also seems to happen after not using for a long time. Panic attacks also occur with people who have never used psychedelics. I think these uncomfortable effects can be amplified when dealing with hppd, even if symptoms have mostly dissapeared. Understand that the information I have is from my own experiences and from what people have told me (I'm not a doctor or a scientist). For me, staying away from THC (all psychoactive drugs for that matter) is the way to go. I can't imagine what my brain would do if I smoked the powerful weed that's available today. I hope your symptoms start to moderate.
  8. For a while I had bouts of low blood pressure and I had some of the symptoms you've described. I do think hppd can amplify any common physical symptom with a slight psychedelic lens. Well, at least that's what happens to me. Talking to the doctor can eliminate issues and give you some peace of mind.
  9. If it continues, it might not be a bad idea to talk to a doctor. Those symptoms can be caused by physical issues as well.
  10. Everyone's wiring is a little different. The introduction of psychedelics can change how the brain works in everyone differently. If someone is having symptoms similar to schizophrenia after dosing, I think we should take it at face value (I realize the initial post didn't mention dosing). People come here for advice , information, support, etc. myself included. It doesn't take much to scare a vulnerable person away. Being a little gentle, especially in the "introduction" forum, can go a long way. I apologize if this sounded like a rant.
  11. @Grant your experiences with psychedelics sound very similar to mine. I used to try and see how deep I could go. There were weeks where I dosed every day. I feel fortunate that I didn't end up with more damage.
  12. @4c1d Thank you for your concern regarding the 48 plus hour experience I went through. It happened over 40 years ago. My mind set at the time was that I had hit the jackpot. I suspect such a dose would kill me at my current age. My advice, get moving on with your life. If you're in school, focus on your studies. If you're working, focus on that. I've found that staying focused has served me well. While I don't take medications to deal with hppd, others have had success with them. Finding a way to help with anxiety is important. I've found meditation and long walks away from the noise of civilization helps. Exercise is general is helpful.
  13. I hope everything goes well and I hope the treatment helps.
  14. MadDoc

    Brain Fog

    Besides the synthetic THC have you used other drugs besides alcohol? After I stopped dosing (I was roughly 20) I started drinking. Not so much that I was out of control, but too much. In my case, alcohol caused brain fog. It can last for days after a bender.
  15. We all experience psychedelics a little differently, but you might not have taken LSD. There are so many tweaked molecules available out there, it's hard to know. If you don't know the chemist, "street" drugs can be a crap shoot. Long, long ago I took a dose of "acid" and ended up tripping for over two days. I think it was DOM (aka STP). No matter, you've had an experience and you're dealing with the aftermath. You didn't mention how long ago you dosed. Lingering effects can hang around for a while. Dosing can be a huge shock to the system to say the least! The good news is you've dosed once. I'm no expert on hppd, but I suspect the fewer times you've dosed the better your chances that hppd symptoms won't be perminent . As Jay mentioned, stay clean! I can't stress that enough. Do the best you can to keep your life moving and don't ever give up on yourself. Hang in there and take care.
  16. I'm dyslexic as well. Nothing to be ashamed of. We think a little differently, but who doesn't? How are you doing? If you feel comfortable doing so, share your experiences. If not, no problem.
  17. Your writing is the kind of practice that I've been talking about in many of my posts. Getting our focus back isn't always easy. I found, that when I'm focused, I don't hallucinate and I don't think about my symptoms. Writing 1000 pages on any topic is focus training. Meditation has helped me immensely. In reality, it's also training the mind to focus. Not to mention the practice can significantly reduce anxiety and stress. In my experience, it has trained my mind to control the mental chatter in my head. It has also helped me recognize when my body and mind are starting to tense up. Such welcome news that you've come so far. Keep at it and let us know how you're doing. My basic view on life is that we're the energy and matter that woke up to witness whatever "this" is. A real privilege in my opinion. Even with hppd, being such a witness is an amazing gift. (Sorry about going into such obtuse territory).
  18. The shape of the birds in your graphic is very similar to the closed eye visuals I had shortly before my CEVs stopped. To me it looked like a circular maze with kind of a jittering motion along the walls of the maze. Interesting.
  19. Pulling yourself together when you're having severe hppd symptoms is not easy to say the least. You know yourself better than anyone. What pursuit in life makes you feel well, requires your focus, and motivates you? Find what that is and give it all you got. For me, idle hours in my life made my symptoms worse because I was focused on them. Shift that focus to something that naturally makes you feel well and requires your focus. An earlier post suggested meditation. It's a practice that has helped me immensely. However, it can take a while before you realize the benefits. In the near term, exercise can be helpful. Healthy body, healthy mind. I realize that getting motivated can be near impossible when you're feeling trapped with this disorder. Start small and do the best you can. I have no experience with medications, so I can't comment on that. Hang in there, do the best you can, and never give up.
  20. There are often after effects after dosing. They're not necessarily permanent. The fact that your symptoms have improved in a short amount of time is a good sign. It's very common for cannabis to seem a LOT stronger after a psychedelic experience. I'd give drugs, including cannabis, a rest for a while. If you are one of the unfortunate people susceptible to hppd, the fewer times you dose the better I suspect. Understand, I'm no expert on the subject but you don't want to contract hppd because it can be debilitating for some. It sounds like you're doing quite well. Don't tempt fate by continuing to dose. Take care and thank you for posting.
  21. Understand, I'm not knocking the use of medications. Some people in this forum have had success with them. Why don't I take any? My symptoms aren't that bad at this stage in my life. I still have visuals, but I can live with that. I've had this disorder for over four decades and I've learned to adapt. Medications can have side effects and I'd prefer not to deal with that. In general, I'd prefer not to introduce any medications into my body unless I need them to live (if I got cancer for example). I've avoided blood pressure and lipid lowering meds through natural practices and life style changes. At this stage of my life, I'm happy and active. I'm not going to take anything that could possibly derail that. This is my path. I'm not suggesting that it's a better approach than anyone else's.
  22. I've never taken medications for this disorder. Well, not exactly true. In my 30s I drank a bit more than was healthy. Back when I started noticing symptoms it was the 1970s. There weren't a lot of options back then. Now, I manage just being clean. If you dosed just that one time, and you're staying clean, then your prospects are good.
  23. MadDoc

    ssri

    Check out the "Medications and other treatments" forum. As I recall people have discussed your question quite a bit. I have no experience with SSRI meds so I'm not much (any) help.
  24. I have similar symptoms, but there's nothing evil about what I experience. I can't comment on medications because I didn't take that path. I found that trying not to give my visuals too much attention helps. It's not easy and there are times when it bothers me. I guess it's all about focus. Example, in my case sidewalks are the worst. All the little stones. First the ones with similar colors start to connect. If I stare, the images become more complex and start to move. If I focus on a thought, a song, a problem I'm trying to solve, then my focus isn't on my visual field and the visuals are more forgiving. It's hard, I realize that. All I can speak to is how I deal with this disorder. Hope that helps. Hang in there and take care.
  25. I get colorful "sawtooth" images once or twice a year. The doctor said I had experienced a migraine. A lot like this animation below. In my case, it lasts for about 20 to 30 minutes. I don't think the cause of my migraines has anything to do with hppd. However, my visual auras have complex patterns embedded in them. That, I think, is related to hppd. I never get a headache, but I guess that's not unusual. The doctor didn't think it was a big deal. I had some eye tests done to rule out vision issues (or to get more money out of me).
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