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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

MadDoc

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MadDoc last won the day on June 2

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About MadDoc

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    Walking, hiking, the mountains. Reading, concerts, family. Politically active. 50s Sci-Fi movies. Philosophy.

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  1. Never give up. We're given this amazing opportunity to witness whatever "this" is. There are a number of us old folks in here who have dealt with this disorder for a long time and we're all doing surprisingly well. It's easy to fall into despair. I sure did early on. I look at it as a disability. If I had lost my eyesight or lost a limb, what can be done? Do I bail on life or get up each day and do the best I can? As for not caring, there are folks in here who do care. People trying different techniques, prescriptions, and lifestyle changes that might help. People share what they find and they wouldn't do that if they didn't care. Do the big corporate interests care? No, they just care about how much money they can squeeze out of everyone. It's heartless, and it isn't fair. As a species we could do so much better. This disorder can be so hard to deal with. Throw trying to live, and it's even harder, at times ridiculous. Personally, I wouldn't trade this opportunity to be here for anything with or without hppd. I realize I'm babbling again. I guess being a space shot is also permanent in my case. Hang in there, and I hope you continue to share in this forum. You never know how your experiences might help someone in the future.
  2. Permanently? I suspect my visuals are permanent, so yes, it's possible for some symptoms to loiter around. Understand that I took a ridiculous amount of psychedelics at a young age. It doesn't mean anything is permanent in your case. That being said, many of my symptoms have vanished or have significantly moderated. Degenerative? I associate that term with something like Alzheimer's disease. I've had this condition roughly 40 years and my mind is as sharp as ever. I'm no expert on hppd. All I really understand is how it has effected me. I'm not sure if that addresses your concerns, but I hope it was useful.
  3. I'm all for studies, that's fine. However, understand that this forum is for those of us who are suffering from the repercussions of using psychedelics. Long term well-being isn't exactly what many of us are experiencing. For what it's worth.
  4. I think taking drugs like LSD changes everyone to some extent. It's a powerful experience where you can look into your own mind, not something that happens every day. I'm an awkward human too, but I was born that way. Don't beat yourself up for being a little out of step. Some of the most successful people I know come from the awkward ranks. My suggestion is the same in most of my posts, lay off drugs, at least for a while. You're young and it's likely you'll bounce back. If you continue getting high, who knows. Just my opinion, you understand. Also (more advice from an old guy), don't dwell too much on "the rest of your life". Focus on making progress now. Never give up on yourself, just because you're altered from drugs doesn't mean your not a worthy person. Take care of yourself, stay clean, keep focused, and chances are good that you'll be doing ok after a while. Also, be patient. Hang in there and take care.
  5. I don't have visual snow, never have. I have visuals to beat the band, but no snow. Categories, taxonomies, labels, etc. never quite fit in the real world. I think hppd a spectrum disorder as varied as the people who have it.
  6. I've tried an array of supplements and vitamins. None of them did much of anything for my visuals. We're all different though. Just because they didn't help me doesn't mean they don't work at all. My visuals are deeply burned in unfortunately.
  7. @HalluciSofos I had the exact same reaction to cannabis. I used to smoke it all day, every day, then very suddenly, panic attacks. From what I've heard it's not that uncommon. Lay off the weed, at least for a while, and see how you do. I take CBD to help me sleep from time to time. It's the only sleep aid that doesn't make me feel like a zombie in the morning. Keep calm, you're here and your cognition is clearly intact. I don't know if your symptoms will get worse. Hppd can be variable where it's bad for a while, it seems better, and then it slips again. Don't assume any increase in symptoms is permanent. As others have said, stay away from psychoactive drugs. I can't stress that enough. I don't take any medications but others in this forum have had success with them. Read through the forums, lots of bright people post here. Don't give up on yourself, keep focused, and do the best you can. Hang in there!
  8. Isn't that peyote? Way back when, it was sometimes available in the summer months. Mescaline (derived from cacti) is a powerful psychedelic. I remember it used to make people vomit, though I never experienced this unfortunate side effect. Also, plant extractions can produce unpredictable doses. You might get some plant material that is weak, and then get some that is very strong. Without sophisticated lab equipment you just don't know until you try it. In my opinion, the first step to treating hppd is to avoid psychedelics. Also, peyote is an endangered plant species that grows very slowly. The thought of any species going extinct is sad.
  9. I drank for a number of years after I quit dosing. I wasn't out of control, but I was definitely drinking too much. I went in for a physical, and had a blood test. A few days later my doctor asked me to come in. She wanted to how much I was drinking. I was honest with her, after that conversation I quit for good. To be honest I was self medicating to deal with the anxiety caused by this disorder. Some people can manage their alcohol intake. Others, like me, can't. I had to find another way to manage my anxiety. With a young family, and a new career, I had too much to live for. I don't think having a few drinks is a terrible thing for those of us with hppd. Just my opinion. For me though, I think it would have made me a sick and unhappy soul.
  10. Thank you for posting. The fact that your symptoms are improving is great news! Keep posting to let people know what's working for you. It might help someone else in the future.
  11. @justhere Never give into the negative messages the mind sends to your conciseness. Nothing wants you "dead". Keep fighting! Show this disorder that you're not going to give up. There are times when things seem bleak and depression takes hold. I understand that. It can take a while to find what coping mechanisms work for you. You'll find them as long as you keep trying. Hang in there, NEVER give up!
  12. For me, it's just the opposite. In the morning I don't notice my symptoms as much. As the day wears on and stress accumulates, the visuals get more intrusive.
  13. @Jay1 I couldn't agree more. Drugs like LSD and MDMA seem to help some people. However, it needs to approached carefully, be monitored, and combined with more traditional therapies. Regulation and accountability of the care provider should be carefully monitored.
  14. 90 percent is huge! That's wonderful! If you've recovered that much in two years, I think you'll see continued improvement. Whatever you're doing to deal with this disorder, keep at it! In the future someone will come to this forum, read your post, and it'll give them hope.
  15. I'm going to bring up meditation again. I even roll my own eyes I bring it up so often. So, here I go again. I too went through a phase of hyper-awareness. Every little thing became significant and simply "being" became more and more difficult. Compound this with a brain that was constantly chattering away and my stress started to become a health issue. I had a great doctor who sent me to meditation training. I stuck with it, practicing every day. At first it did very little. Over time I suddenly "got" how it was helping and it has helped me immensely. Without the practice, at a minimum, I'd be far more depressive and wound up. It levels the brain by teaching you how to choose which thoughts to "unpackage". Over time this ability becomes more of a reflex action. It doesn't cost anything other than time. You don't need a guru, crystals, or whatever. You just need a comfortable place to sit, persistence, and patience. Thought it was worth a mention (again).
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