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MadDoc last won the day on September 11

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About MadDoc

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  1. First off, don't panic. You haven't dosed too many times (roughly a dozen). If you stop now chances are good that you could have significant improvement. If you're consuming MJ it might be a good idea to lay off at least for a while. For many MJ magnifies the symptoms. For me, it makes visuals intolerable. It could take awhile for your symptoms to improve so be patient. As others have suggested avoiding psychedelics is sound advice. Hang in there.
  2. Yup. I was kidding about being "normal". I went on to say that all I have now are the visuals. No more DP/DR in my experience. Did I mention that I struggle communicating with humans? (:
  3. Normal? I'd never claim to be "normal". I basically have visuals now and that's it. Even those have moderated over the years. Either that or I'm just used to my hallucinations.
  4. First off, don't panic. Separate the difficult experience you had from the symptoms you're having and focus on what you're dealing with now. You took a big dose of psychedelics. You're experiencing visual and mental anomolies. It's been six months but that's not much time if you've suffered a brain alteration/rewiring/trauma. You haven't done anything wrong and you haven't been a bad person. You're dealing with the after effects of a powerful experience. It will probably take some time but try to get focused and move on with your life. I say that because that's what helped me. You're refraining from psychoactive substances which is very important. I can't stress enough, it's going to be OK. If you're seriously thinking about checking out PLEASE get some help. I have constant visuals and have had them for 40 years but every day feels like a gift. Hang in there and please keep posting. Also, spend some time reading the posts on this site. There are a lot of bright people who post here. Oh, BTW, your writing is excellent.
  5. Yeah. For me it's like I have too much electricity in my nervous system. That being said, this symptom has gotten a lot better with age.
  6. Describe it? Sure. Racing heart, my visuals get intense, I have really unearthly thoughts that are associated with the visuals. I can't form a sentence and can't even function. This only lasts about an hour but it's not pleasant. Understand, ages ago I used to smoke weed from the time I woke up until the day was done. That was ... almost 40 years ago. I'm around people who smoke weed all the time. Just can't do it myself. I wish I could. It was medicine for a modern world. Sobriety is a good deal though and life is great.
  7. I never really had a bad trip. Strange, unearthly, total loss of body, yes. Bad or a "bummer", no. Hppd for me was due to an extreme case of brain rewiring as opposed to a bad experience. Using acid to cure hppd sounds like using whisky to cure alcoholism.
  8. Did you dose a lot or just that one time? I'm no expert but, I think, the fewer times you've dosed the better your chances are of recovering. It can take some time though. Sobriety is key.
  9. I still go to a lot of shows where people consume cannabis. I've never noticed anything from second hand smoke and I'm hyper sensitive. Everybody is different I guess. I try weed about once every 3 to 4 years and I always have a bad reaction. I guess I'll never learn.
  10. Hey and welcome. I have friends who dosed hundreds (if not 1000+) times and have no hppd symptoms. But I dosed the same amount and have continuous visuals. The point is we're all different and hppd hits some of us and not others. You're no longer using which is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Anxiety is the toughest part IMHO. You're starting college and that alone can cause huge anxiety by itself. Medication appears to help a lot of people. I practice daily meditation and it has made a world of difference. Personally, I don't trust doctors much and I don't trust myself with prescriptions, but that's me. Staying focused helps a lot too. Don't feed hppd by giving it all of your attention. Because you haven't dosed over and over chances are good that you're going to notice improvement over time. Listen: You have not messed up forever nor have you thrown your life away. You can raise a family and have a wonderful life. I'm looking at turning 60 and though I have constant visuals life couldn't be more wonderful. I've raised a family and held a career in a profession and, trust me, I'm nobody special. If a goof like me can pull it off so can you. Find your optimism and use it to fight back. Hope that helps.
  11. Knocks to the head are never a healthy thing whether you have hppd or not.
  12. I've never taken an ssri, but if I started taking a medication and not long after I vomited, I'd go back to the doctor and say "listen you quack, what's the deal?". Man, it sounds like you're having a tough time. I don't want to minimize what you're dealing with in any way. As for the eclipse ... I have visuals 24/7. Needless to say I fried my coconut back in the day. I watched the eclipse from 9000+ feet in the rocky mountains. My visuals aren't any worse for it. I don't think the moon or the sun are to blame. At least I hope so! I know what I've said is probably not very helpful. What helped me is staying as focused as possible. That includes my profession, my hobbies, and my kids. When I'm focused the visuals take a back seat. Take care. I hope things are working out for you.
  13. Us humans have ups and downs. I know people who don't use drugs who sometimes say "Man, I feel spaced out today". It sounds like you're going through a stressful time. A new job in a new city would produce a heap of adrenaline in anyone. The stress will subside once you're into a routine.
  14. Weed can most certainly be a trigger. It is for my old skull anyway. The danger of using K2 or whatever it's called is that it's untested on humans. Granted, with "mainstream" psychedelics you don't know if the chemist had a clue. But with these research chemicals nobody really knows how the brain will react. As I repeat over and over, give yourself a break. Sobriety is great stuff and I take a dose every day. I fried myself real good in the 70s and live with visuals 24/7. If you give up using now you have a much better chance at wellness than if you continue using. I know, I'm getting real preachy. Give it a try. Don't cost nothin'
  15. Yup, when I go to the doctor. It's not so much social anxiety but instead more of a reality anxiety. I realize that sounds strange but I don't know how else to describe it.