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MadDoc last won the day on September 11

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About MadDoc

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  1. Yeah. Alcohol is not a solution. Over time it beats up the mind and body. When I quit all of my issues were waiting for me unresolved. I've found that sobriety is the best medicine.
  2. How long ago did you stop? There can be lingering effects following an intense trip that last for a while. You've only dosed three times and the doses were not extreme. I'm no expert but it's very possible that your symptoms will moderate and may dissapear. You've stopped using which is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Bouncing back can take time so be patient. For me, staying focused and moving on with life helped a lot.
  3. I drank when I was in my 20s. Basically self medication for the anxiety caused by this disorder. I don't think drinking made my symptoms worse, but it made the rest of my life more difficult. Quit drinkin' ages ago. Don't miss it a bit.
  4. Keep moving. Exercise is a great way to gain focus. Also, stay focused, or at least try to. I've found that when I concentrate on something I don't hallucinate. When I drift, then they come back.
  5. No psychosis here. I do have what I would call "genuine" hallucinations. Patterns and designs are everywhere, most of the time. As I've mentioned before, anything with a texture or fine grain (like a road surface or a carpet) shifts and transforms into designs, shapes, animals, etc.. The only time I get auditory hallucinations is when I consume MJ (a very very rare event these days). For what it's worth.
  6. First off, don't panic. You haven't dosed too many times (roughly a dozen). If you stop now chances are good that you could have significant improvement. If you're consuming MJ it might be a good idea to lay off at least for a while. For many MJ magnifies the symptoms. For me, it makes visuals intolerable. It could take awhile for your symptoms to improve so be patient. As others have suggested avoiding psychedelics is sound advice. Hang in there.
  7. Yup. I was kidding about being "normal". I went on to say that all I have now are the visuals. No more DP/DR in my experience. Did I mention that I struggle communicating with humans? (:
  8. Normal? I'd never claim to be "normal". I basically have visuals now and that's it. Even those have moderated over the years. Either that or I'm just used to my hallucinations.
  9. First off, don't panic. Separate the difficult experience you had from the symptoms you're having and focus on what you're dealing with now. You took a big dose of psychedelics. You're experiencing visual and mental anomolies. It's been six months but that's not much time if you've suffered a brain alteration/rewiring/trauma. You haven't done anything wrong and you haven't been a bad person. You're dealing with the after effects of a powerful experience. It will probably take some time but try to get focused and move on with your life. I say that because that's what helped me. You're refraining from psychoactive substances which is very important. I can't stress enough, it's going to be OK. If you're seriously thinking about checking out PLEASE get some help. I have constant visuals and have had them for 40 years but every day feels like a gift. Hang in there and please keep posting. Also, spend some time reading the posts on this site. There are a lot of bright people who post here. Oh, BTW, your writing is excellent.
  10. Yeah. For me it's like I have too much electricity in my nervous system. That being said, this symptom has gotten a lot better with age.
  11. Describe it? Sure. Racing heart, my visuals get intense, I have really unearthly thoughts that are associated with the visuals. I can't form a sentence and can't even function. This only lasts about an hour but it's not pleasant. Understand, ages ago I used to smoke weed from the time I woke up until the day was done. That was ... almost 40 years ago. I'm around people who smoke weed all the time. Just can't do it myself. I wish I could. It was medicine for a modern world. Sobriety is a good deal though and life is great.
  12. I never really had a bad trip. Strange, unearthly, total loss of body, yes. Bad or a "bummer", no. Hppd for me was due to an extreme case of brain rewiring as opposed to a bad experience. Using acid to cure hppd sounds like using whisky to cure alcoholism.
  13. Did you dose a lot or just that one time? I'm no expert but, I think, the fewer times you've dosed the better your chances are of recovering. It can take some time though. Sobriety is key.
  14. I still go to a lot of shows where people consume cannabis. I've never noticed anything from second hand smoke and I'm hyper sensitive. Everybody is different I guess. I try weed about once every 3 to 4 years and I always have a bad reaction. I guess I'll never learn.
  15. Hey and welcome. I have friends who dosed hundreds (if not 1000+) times and have no hppd symptoms. But I dosed the same amount and have continuous visuals. The point is we're all different and hppd hits some of us and not others. You're no longer using which is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Anxiety is the toughest part IMHO. You're starting college and that alone can cause huge anxiety by itself. Medication appears to help a lot of people. I practice daily meditation and it has made a world of difference. Personally, I don't trust doctors much and I don't trust myself with prescriptions, but that's me. Staying focused helps a lot too. Don't feed hppd by giving it all of your attention. Because you haven't dosed over and over chances are good that you're going to notice improvement over time. Listen: You have not messed up forever nor have you thrown your life away. You can raise a family and have a wonderful life. I'm looking at turning 60 and though I have constant visuals life couldn't be more wonderful. I've raised a family and held a career in a profession and, trust me, I'm nobody special. If a goof like me can pull it off so can you. Find your optimism and use it to fight back. Hope that helps.