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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

MadDoc

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MadDoc last won the day on September 9

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About MadDoc

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    Walking, hiking, the mountains. Reading, concerts, family. Politically active. 50s Sci-Fi movies. Philosophy.

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  1. I developed this condition long before the internet existed. The only people I talked to about it were the people I used to dose with. None of them had symptoms like me. I figured I was the only one in the world with visuals etc. A few years back I decided to see if there was anyone out on the WWW who had this condition. When I found this site it was a huge relief! I though I was alone. Now I finally realize that I'm not alone. As for the deep breathing exercises. My doctor sent me to meditation classes at a local hospital. I stuck with it and for me it has helped. It's basically mental focus and if you stick with it, it's possible these exercises will help you as well. Like learning a musical instrument, you have to practice. Many of my symptoms have gone away or are greatly reduced. It took time, but then again, my dosing history was a bit extreme.
  2. MadDoc

    Is this HPPD?

    Floaters are normal. Perhaps you're just noticing them now. I've never heard of lsd causing retinal detachment. I took a truck load of acid, and my eyes are still working fine. I suspect you don't have hppd symptoms. Perhaps some residual post-dosing weirdness. If you're concerned, stay away from drugs for a while to see how you're doing. Understand that hppd can be a truly debilitating condition, and it doesn't sound like that's what you're dealing with. Just my opinion you understand. I'm not a doctor, I'm just some old guy who has had hppd for a long time.
  3. MadDoc

    Please help

    If cannabis is causing such an adverse reaction (dab), perhaps you could set it aside for a while. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just a suggestion. I've never done salvia. It came along long after I stopped using drugs. I did consume my share of DMT and took fairly massive doses of LSD/Mushrooms. Losing your body, turning into a singularity, and similar experiences can leave the mind shaken for a while. It's not surprising that reality is not quite right after such a powerful experience. Again, you might want to take a break, give the brain time to reset, then see how it goes.
  4. MadDoc

    am i developing hppd?

    Staying clean is an excellent decision. Getting out and exercising is also a good move. Mind and body. Keep yourself focused on your studies, work, hobbies, social connections, whatever. My advice is to not implode. As someone said earlier, don't give your symptoms your full attention. Accept them, realize that they're a part of you, but don't feed them. Be strong and don't let this beat you! Life continues. You're doing great. Keep clean, keep exercising, and focus on the things that interest you and give you joy. What helped me? Staying clean, staying focused, and time. If you have some form of hppd you can live a happy productive life. It's possible that you don't have hppd at all ( I'm not an expert or a doctor). You were wise enough to seek sobriety early in life. That's key. Hang in there and take care.
  5. MadDoc

    Can’t handle this much longer

    Keep going and don't give up. Wise words. Just being human is tough in and of itself. People who don't have hppd struggle to navigate their lives. What helped me was to admit that I have a disability. But like the runner who lost a leg, or the artist who is losing their eye sight, all we can do is keep trying. We just do the best we can. Get up each day and do it again. I realize what I've said is obvious, but it gets me through each day. Hang in everyone and take care.
  6. MadDoc

    Anxious and need help

    Weird! My visuals are very different. It's like I have extreme visual pattern recognition. Goes to show, we're all different and these chemicals can leave us with very different symptoms. Do your visuals come and go? Are there times, certain activities perhaps, where you don't see the world as a set of frames (if I understand it correctly)?
  7. MadDoc

    How is your mood ?

    Couldn't be happier to be here. When i think about how improbable it is that I exist at all, I feel quite happy to be greet the day.
  8. If weed is doing that to you, perhaps take a break? I'm not trying to tell you what to do. A reset might not hurt. If you feel you have hppd after a few weeks after dosing, that might not be what you're dealing with. Dosing can make regular experiences seem intense. Thought patterns can change, world view, your place in the universe, etc. That's not hppd. Disclaimer: I'm no expert or a medical professional. Friendly advice, stay clean for a couple months, determine where you are, and move forward. I still go out to hear shows, and go to psychedelic events. However, I don't indulge. I'm weird enough already.
  9. MadDoc

    HPPD

    This site has been huge for me. For decades I thought I alone was cursed with this condition. I go through life with a collage of visuals and man, that ain't normal. The people I used to dose with done report any thing like what I got sacked with. I don't internet much but this site allows me to communicate with others facing this disability (ability?). I think the moderator does a nice job. Again, glad the site is here, and seems to be humming along nicely.
  10. MadDoc

    Anxious and need help

    Would you describe the visuals you have? I have visuals as well. If I understand the kind of visuals you have, perhaps I can relate. As for anxiety, I guess there are a lot of ways you can approach that. All I can say is what I've done. Staying clean and keeping focused is what got me through. Reading, studies, learning a new skill, etc. Helped me a lot. Why? Because when I'm focused I'm not anxious and I don't hallucinate. I'm also big on meditation. Anyone who reads my posts (there might be one or two) knows I often bring up meditation. It's just mental focus, but it helped this old fool. Take care, never give up.
  11. MadDoc

    Feeling of constant dizziness

    Dizziness can be due to an inner ear problem or some other physical issue that can be identified. Your dizziness may have nothing to do with mushrooms or MJ. As I'm sure you're aware, panic atracks aren't uncommon with the hybrid bud available today. I mean 20 percent plus THC? Yikes! The stuff we had back in the early 70s was 2-4 percent and even that could send a soul into a tailspin. Go to the doctor and get the dizziness checked out. To combat other symptoms, avoid any psychoactive recreation and you might level out after a while.
  12. It's hard to say. For some, full recovery. For me, not so lucky. Taking acid for a while can change you. The way you see the world, your place in the universe, and unfortunately some of us are stuck with less desirable results. Each of us is different so I don't know how long it will take for the visual abnormalities to moderate or dissapear. I think continuing to stay clean is the best first action you can take. Move forward with your life, stay focused, and don't give the visuals too much attention. Not much of an answer I realize.
  13. Don't beat yourself up for using drugs. We're all trying to make sense of why we're here and psychedelics is often used as a step in the path to trying to figure that out. My mistake was that I thought psychedelics was the answer instead of a learning tool and I fried my noggin'. I can only suggest to not feed the guilt. What's done is done. Take what you've learned and move forward with the knowledge you might have gained from those experiences. I hope that didn't come off as too flaky.
  14. I started taking psychedelics around the same age. After six years of heavy use I finally stopped. I've had visuals ever since. I'm now 59. So yes, it can linger for a long time. Some of my symptoms have vanished almost entirely (Closed Eye Visuals for example) but the visuals are still with me. I took the natural approach. Sobriety, meditation, and I try to stay as focused as possible. I do this because when I'm focused I don't hallucinate. Don't despair, just because I have (probably) permanent visuals, doesn't mean you will. I'm just a run of the mill human and life is wonderful. Even with the visuals. Take care of yourself.
  15. MadDoc

    Advice

    Perhaps you could visit the doctor, describe your symptoms, but don't go into the fact that you dosed. Some of the symptoms you describe might have nothing to do with psychedelics. Tests can rule out other potential issues. As for drinking and meeting people, some of the nicest and kindest people people I've ever met were sober by nature. Something to ponder.
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