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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

MadDoc

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MadDoc last won the day on September 23

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    Walking, hiking, the mountains. Reading, concerts, family. Politically active. 50s Sci-Fi movies. Philosophy.

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  1. There are often after effects after dosing. They're not necessarily permanent. The fact that your symptoms have improved in a short amount of time is a good sign. It's very common for cannabis to seem a LOT stronger after a psychedelic experience. I'd give drugs, including cannabis, a rest for a while. If you are one of the unfortunate people susceptible to hppd, the fewer times you dose the better I suspect. Understand, I'm no expert on the subject but you don't want to contract hppd because it can be debilitating for some. It sounds like you're doing quite well. Don't tempt fate by continuing to dose. Take care and thank you for posting.
  2. Understand, I'm not knocking the use of medications. Some people in this forum have had success with them. Why don't I take any? My symptoms aren't that bad at this stage in my life. I still have visuals, but I can live with that. I've had this disorder for over four decades and I've learned to adapt. Medications can have side effects and I'd prefer not to deal with that. In general, I'd prefer not to introduce any medications into my body unless I need them to live (if I got cancer for example). I've avoided blood pressure and lipid lowering meds through natural practices and life style changes. At this stage of my life, I'm happy and active. I'm not going to take anything that could possibly derail that. This is my path. I'm not suggesting that it's a better approach than anyone else's.
  3. I've never taken medications for this disorder. Well, not exactly true. In my 30s I drank a bit more than was healthy. Back when I started noticing symptoms it was the 1970s. There weren't a lot of options back then. Now, I manage just being clean. If you dosed just that one time, and you're staying clean, then your prospects are good.
  4. MadDoc

    ssri

    Check out the "Medications and other treatments" forum. As I recall people have discussed your question quite a bit. I have no experience with SSRI meds so I'm not much (any) help.
  5. I have similar symptoms, but there's nothing evil about what I experience. I can't comment on medications because I didn't take that path. I found that trying not to give my visuals too much attention helps. It's not easy and there are times when it bothers me. I guess it's all about focus. Example, in my case sidewalks are the worst. All the little stones. First the ones with similar colors start to connect. If I stare, the images become more complex and start to move. If I focus on a thought, a song, a problem I'm trying to solve, then my focus isn't on my visual field and the visuals are more forgiving. It's hard, I realize that. All I can speak to is how I deal with this disorder. Hope that helps. Hang in there and take care.
  6. I get colorful "sawtooth" images once or twice a year. The doctor said I had experienced a migraine. A lot like this animation below. In my case, it lasts for about 20 to 30 minutes. I don't think the cause of my migraines has anything to do with hppd. However, my visual auras have complex patterns embedded in them. That, I think, is related to hppd. I never get a headache, but I guess that's not unusual. The doctor didn't think it was a big deal. I had some eye tests done to rule out vision issues (or to get more money out of me).
  7. Totally agree with the "things that do work". Staying busy and setting goals can help the mind get focused. Sure worked for me, especially raising kids. We all needs something to look forward to. There's nothing better than anticipation when something fun is coming up. I have an understanding wife as well. She understands that I'm out there. Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. CBD helps me sleep which reduces anxiety. Who doesn't enjoy a hot bath? You're figuring this out. That's fantastic!
  8. I don't know you so this is pure speculation. Is it anxiety that's getting the best of you or DR? For me anxiety was the worst part. I always felt like I was always on a low dose of dirty acid. That and this strange electricity that always seemed to be running through my body. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with anxiety. I don't know about DR. I had never heard about it until I came to this forum, though I think I experience it from time to time. Staying and keeping focused helped. As for visuals, mine have improved with age. Perhaps I'm just so used to them that they're just "normal" for my aging skull. My CEVs vanished quite suddenly in my late 40s. Never give up, and never underestimate yourself. You're clearly a bright person. Finding what works for you is like trying to solve a puzzle. I don't mean there's a path to a cure, but perhaps a path to making life manageable. Don't give up.
  9. Venting is healthy. Gets it all out and into the open. I'm one of those old timers, turning 60 soon. I found that finding an outlet for stress and anxiety really helped. I took up a daily meditation practice (aka mindful meditation). Regular exercise also burns off that weird jittery electricity that gets into my nerves. Just keeping busy helps in general. I took a "no medication" approach so I can't comment on what might help, but there are others in this forum who have found medications helpful. While many of my symptoms have improved, I'm still stuck with the visuals. I look at it like having a disability. We just have to continue with life the best we can. I guess that all anyone can do. We're not bad people because have this disorder, we just have a disability. Hang in and keep posting even if just to vent.
  10. Thank you posting the article and for your comments. One thing to note, in the drug culture in the early 70s, "flasbacks" were thought to be nonsense. They were portrayed in the media to be like experiencing a full dose. I had never known of anyone who experienced anything like that. We all realized that dosing made you experience the world differently once the dose wore off, but we thought it was limited to things like reevaluating your priorities in life. I never heard of anyone discussing the permanent disabling symptoms of hppd. If I had thought about it some, it should have been obvious. There were certainly some acid "casualties" around. We just assumed this was due to some underlying mental condition that had come to the surface. I wish the media had been honest about psychedelics. We all thought the flasback danger was just a scare tactic. Then again, I'm not sure I would have listened.
  11. I also had a love affair with acid. To me it wasn't just a tool to find answers, it was the answer. I was just a kid and didn't realize how wrong I was. Unfortunately, back in the early 1970s, there were a lot of people around who also thought it was the answer. As @sami stated, you haven't ruined you life. You're in a strange and unfamiliar place and that can be scary. In this forum there are quite a few people who have done remarkable things with their lives. While I don't consider my life remarkable, it sure has been a great ride. We can't turn back the clock and change the things we've done. However, once you get clean, the healing can begin. Don't tempt fate by continuing to use drugs. Set some goals for yourself and start moving toward them. Never give up on yourself. Hang in there.
  12. Welcome. You've come to the right forum. What you're dealing with is reminiscent of many of the posts in this fourm. You're in good company. I have a few suggestions. Early hppd like symptoms can moderate over time, but be patient. It can take a while. You may just be experiencing the "aftershocks" following your last trip. Stay away from psychedelics including cannabis. You mentioned that your symptoms are mild now. It can get much worse with continued drug use. Try not to focus on your symptoms. Instead, focus on your life, school, work, etc. There are quite a few people in this forum who have lived successful and happy lives with hppd. Try to be optimistic. I'm not trying to suggest you have hppd. I'm not qualified to do that. I'm no expert and I'm not a doctor. I'm just someone who has had this disorder for a long time. Hang in there, and take care.
  13. I just noticed this thread is "hidden". Was I not supposed to post here? If so, I'll remove my post. I was wondering why it was pink Interesting! I don't think I've mentioned this before, I'm dyslexic. My writing skills in grade school were poor at best. I've always loved to read, but I read very slowly. In high school I was labeled as "slow" even though I excelled in mathematics and the sciences. The creative arts (painting, drawing, etc.) came easily to me as well. I wasn't diagnosed as being dyslexic until I was in my early 30s (my wife suggested I get tested). Once I started using computers and had a keyboard, I found I could write! With a pen and paper, I still have difficulty. Even writing a simple note is difficult. It's strange because using a pencil and paper I could write symbolic mathematical notation with ease. Unfortunately, high school was when I started gobbling down psychedelics which didn't help. I hope my post is relevant to this thread. I read your post and what you dealt with in high school sounded very familiar. The brain is a strange place, at least mine is.
  14. For me, adapting really helped. I came to the realization that I have a disability. Over time, I accepted it and learned to adapt. Like losing one's eyesight or losing a limb, we find ways to compensate. Over the decades it got easier, and now it's just part of who I am. @justhere the phrase "I've adapted" sums up part of the process toward being well.
  15. I'd stop consuming weed. Around the time I quit dosing it started to give me panic attacks. Before that time, I used to smoke weed at every opportunity. I've only smoked a handful of times since. Each time, I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind. It's almost like my brain is totally out of my control. I honestly felt like I had lost it. Fortunately, it wears off eventually.
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