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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

MadDoc

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MadDoc last won the day on December 17 2018

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About MadDoc

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    Walking, hiking, the mountains. Reading, concerts, family. Politically active. 50s Sci-Fi movies. Philosophy.

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  1. MadDoc

    Wisdom teeth removal

    I've been through a number of procedures where they put me under. I've never had any opiate medication afterwards. My symptoms never seemed any worse during recovery or in the long haul.
  2. MadDoc

    Treating HPPD with kratom or valerian

    Meditation takes time and practice. It taught me that "I" am the controller of my own mind. A weird concept. Can I control my conciseness 100%. No way. Can I control a part of it, yup. What I can control is the firing of the adrenal pumps when hppd tells me to PANIC. Like a circuit breaker, I can left it go. Akin to learning a musical instrument, it takes practice. For me, the benefits were huge. Perhaps life saving. I'll get off my soapbox now.
  3. MadDoc

    Is this considered HPPD/Longterm?

    It's not uncommon to have lingering effects from psychedelics after they've worn off. This doesn't mean they're permanent. Because you haven't dosed a lot it's very likely that your symptoms will improve. Your decision to stay clean is key to avoiding getting more severe symptoms. Keep focused on the constructive things you enjoy doing. Sobriety, staying focused, and exercise is what helped me. I don't take medications because I don't trust doctors when it comes to healing the mind. That being said, people in this forum have had success with medications. It's a personal decision I guess. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
  4. MadDoc

    2 Months In

    You're very welcome. I hope things continue to improve for you. I wish I had stopped after my fist few doses. Can't change the past though.
  5. MadDoc

    ALWAYS REUCCURING AFTER LONG BREAKS

    Mine is the permanent type. That being said, the visuals are sometimes very active, sometimes they moderate. I find it's worse when I'm under a lot of stress. The visuals are also worse when I'm not busy doing something. Perhaps some parallels there. Take care
  6. MadDoc

    Does it ever get better

    There is hope. Hope for improvement and hope for a good life. Dig around in this site. There are many positive stories. If you would like to hear mine, please let me know ... I've written what I've dealt with in the various threads. Whatever works.
  7. MadDoc

    2 Months In

    I think your symptoms will continue to improve provided you don't dose. It sounds like you've made a lot of progress already and that's a good sign. Many of my symptoms went away though it took years (decades) . Then again, I dosed a lot! Stay clean and give your brain a chance to bounce back to "normal" (whatever that is). Hang in there. Be strong.
  8. MadDoc

    Treating HPPD with kratom or valerian

    I took kratom once. I got it from a friend who deals with cronic pain. What he gave me came from a good source and I didn't take a lot. I didn't like it at all. It made me feel weird, gave me stomach problems, and made me feel shaky. I was warned that it has a dependency profile and not to take it daily. I did it once, not for me. Valarian just makes me sleepy. I'm sleepy enough so I never took to this herb either. I've tried a bunch of herbal treatments for this disorder but none have helped much. I do take cbd oil when I have insomnia. Sobriety and meditation practice worked best for me.
  9. MadDoc

    Living with HPPD

    I felt the same way for a very long time. I thought I was the only one on the planet dealing with "this". Then I thought, that can't be true. There's nothing especially unique about me. A bit of digging on the Internet (internet ey?) and I realized I was one of many.
  10. MadDoc

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    I found staying sober is the best medicine. THC has negative effects on me for sure. Rapid heartbeat, visuals, bizarre thought patterns, auditory hallucinations, anxiety. I've managed hppd for a long time simply by staying busy, and staying sober. Worth a try. It don't cost nothin'.
  11. MadDoc

    HPPD and Weed

    I used to thrive on weed. That is until I realized that I had contracted this disorder. I can't touch it, and haven't for a long time. Weed makes my visuals act up and puts the rational mind into a tailspin. Weird, it's legal where I live now and I have zero interest.
  12. MadDoc

    HPPD for 48 years

    I've been dealing with this for 40+ years. It became apparent around 1979, but in retrospect the signs were there as early as 74. How have you dealt over the years?
  13. MadDoc

    I need to talk someone

    There are a lot of open ears here.
  14. MadDoc

    is this a bad idea?

    While alcohol is a solution, it's just not the solution. Sorry, something in me always compels me to be strange. I don't drink anymore because I can't control it. I inevitably drink too much. Most people can have a few drinks and that's enough. If a drink or two relaxes you and makes you feel better I doubt that would be a problem. If it starts taking control, like any drug, it's time to hang it up. Too much alcohol can make anxiety worse and it's easy to fall into a bad cycle where alcohol is the problem and the solution.
  15. MadDoc

    hppd is a bitch sometimes

    Hi Jason, it sounds like you have a good attitude. That goes a long way in helping one be well. You're also avoiding psychedelics and weed, that is another important step to getting well. You mentioned how your heart rate spikes. I dealt with that for a solid decade. You're practicing meditation. Stick with it! I used to have panic attacks until my doctor sent me to meditation training at a local teaching hospital. It's powerful medicine if you practice. It takes time for the deeper benefits to kick in, but it leveled me out. I practice daily anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes daily, rain or shine. The other thing that helped me was throwing myself into life. Going to school, raising kids, my profession, hobbies, etc. Keep busy, keep focused, keep moving. Perhaps it's worth mentioning, I've never taken prescription medication to treat hppd. I realize medication helps many people in this forum so I'm not knocking it. It just wasn't my path I guess. That, and few doctors had ever heard of this disorder during 80s or 90s. I'm an old guy who took a truck load of psychedelics when I was a kid. I stopped when I turned 20 after 6 years of heavy use. Life can be wonderful even with this disorder. Don't let it define you. Perhaps that's easy for me to say after all the decades I've had to get used to hppd. You mentioned "life is forever". It goes by in a flash. Either that or it just seems that way as the decades tick by. To me, it's gone by fast! I hope what I've written is at least somewhat coherent. Take care.
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