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About jeffy

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  1. (watch at 2:34)
  2. i meant john, not ringo. heres the video.
  3. Great post. you described after images just as i see them. I'ts like when you stare at a light then look away. You can still see it, but different colors. One of the Beatles once said something along the lines of "Well they told me LSD makes you feel different for life, which excited Ringo, but scared me" i don't remember who said it, of thats word for word, but i wonder if he was talking about HPPD. lol
  4. thank you for replying!!! I appreciate the input more than you know. But i am curious as to weather or not you think its possible that the only drug that has worsening effects on me is MDMA? From what I've read on here it seems like MDMA f*cks a lot of people over. Also, thats what triggered it with me... and like i said when i took it last summer the visuals got WAYYYY worse for a day . Since then I've tripped on everything under the sun (besides MDMA, or RC's which I've never taken as far as i know) numerous times and no effects. after one weekend of tripping on acid i actually noticed my symptoms where less intense (not AT ALL saying that was because of the acid). I also mentioned that after a weekend of heavy drinking cheap booze ill have dp/dr for a day or 2. However, I'm also wondering if that could be alcohol withdrawal? I went through a point in my life last winter/ spring/ part of summer where i was basically hammered all day every day off 92 proof rum, (I earned me the nick name "sailor Jeffy", instead of "sailor jerry"; the rum i was drinking) and was a bit of an alcoholic. My dp/dr had me debating swallowing a bottle of tylenol at that point when i was sober, because i wanted to die. The only thing that kept me from doing it was I'm my moms only child and she'd be crushed. I limit my drinking to weekends now, (with the exception of some beers on week days when my friends want to go out) and its not every weekend that i drink heavily, but when i do some sundays, and mondays are spent with pretty bad dp/dr. Also, as i mentioned i don't notice those dp/dr symptoms when I'm out with my friends. Even if I'm smoking weed, tripping, or drinking. Anyways, i have to quit weed for a while for a drug test right now, so i guess w'ell see if that has any positive effects. I originally intended to name this post "my HPPD is strange" because it doesn't seem to be worsened by drugs, with the exception of the day or 2 after i drink cheep booze, (sometimes) but that may be alcohol withdrawal. I'm not by any means trying to say that drug use doesn't worsen HPPD, but I'm am wondering if its possible that MDMA is the only one i can never do again. I know you don't have all the answers, most doctors don't even know its a real condition, but I'm just wondering what your think about my particular case. I can get into more detail if you'd like. I'd love to chat about it with someone else who knows the struggles. Especially DP/DR, as those are the only ones that really bother me.
  5. Hello ladies and gents, my name is jeff, I'm 22 and I've had HPPD for about a year. this is my first post so i guess ill start from the beginning. i started off my tripping career with lsd when i was probably about 18-19. it was very rare that it would come around until one day when one of my friends met a kid at his job who we'll call the trippy guy. anyways as soon as he came along we started tripping on shrooms or acid like 2-3 times a week. one night after i had taken shrooms but before they had kicked in my friends convinced me to smoke dmt. it was the most magical fun thing ever but as soon as it wore off i felt different. i felt like i had changed my life and could never go back, (note i was not yet experiencing any symptoms of HPPD) the thought of being different was very scary for me. needless to say i had an awful trip on those shrooms. anyway at one point i came into a large free amount of shrooms, and was tripping almost every night. then i remember one night i took acid, and MDMA everything was normal, but when i woke up there was a film of rainbow static over my vision. i thought it was just that the acid hadn't worn off and it would be gone the next day. and believe it or not, it was gone the next day. so i thought nothing of it and continued to trip all the time. then there was one night, i was in a night club, and my friend said he could get me molly. i remember taking it but blacked out shortly after because of how drunk i was, but my friends told me i took acid later that night too. well anyway i don't know what i got in the club, (possibly an RC?) but i believe thats what lead to me having HPPD. i woke up on the floor all filthy from the night before, so i went home to shower but i remember feeling different, and the rainbow static was back. again i just figured it would go away after a while but this time it didn't. i also noticed my thinking patterns where different. all i could think about was everything being connected. like the whole universe. i wanted to know the origins of everything that exists so badly, and why our society, and all societies have developed into the way that they are. i began to think of humans as more of just animals that can talk, and have very conveniently capable bodies. as time went on, i noticed more and more symptoms. the normal ones, like after images, tracers, eye floaters, but never have i experienced halos, breathing walls, scrambled texts, geometric patterns or ghost images floating above things. i was scared and knew even before i looked it up that the drugs had done something. i completely stopped hallucinogen use, but continued to smoke weed, and drink very heavily. neither of which seemed to agitate my symptoms. I've noticed that my symptoms only seem to bother me when I'm alone, or if I'm doing some tedious task where I'm not talking, and my thoughts can just wander. i haven't gotten any anxiety from hppd, and actually prefer to be in social settings. anyways about 3 months after it started i tripped on acid again 2 days in one week. i didn't notice any new symptoms, or worsening of my current ones, and the trip felt just like it did before all this. however this past summer i did some MDMA with my friends, and the next day (luckily only for one day) my vision was absolutely f'd. the street was flashing black and white, the static was way worse, if i stared at a blank wall, or the sky it literally looked like i was going through a purple and blue vortex. well none the less i haven't done MDMA since, but i have done acid, shrooms, and even dmt once. one night i actually took acid, LSA, and shrooms and it did noting to my hppd. i have however noticed that after a weekend of drinking cheap booze with my friends in heavy amounts i'll feel really strange for a day or 2. like everything I've ever known about life that seemed normal at one point is extremely confusing. like i look at another person and just knowing that they're just as conscious as i am is like... impossible to grasp. I've noticed that i'm far more empathetic. i feel like when i look at a person now i have a much better understanding of the fact that even tho they appear as happy and normal, on the inside they might be a totally crushed spirit. I've also noticed that my fear of death has increased substantially, and i don't understand how death can even be a real thing. i also have a fear of bugs now which was non existent before. my dreams have also gotten pretty wacky, they're often about other planets that don't even exist, or something else crazy. but to sum everything up i guess id say i have very mild HPPD, and its more mental than visual. ill bet into more details in other posts i guess, this ones seems long enough. lol