fruitgun

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fruitgun last won the day on July 31

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About fruitgun

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  1. Made my DP/DR fire up.
  2. That might be true for many cases but I don't think that "HPPD" is the same for everyone, it is a term used to summarize various symptoms triggered by drug use. I am not sure if visuals alone without mental symptoms could be described as mental illness.
  3. Couldn't drink during first months after my bad trip because it made me freak out. Now I can enjoy alcohol again, in fact I might be drinking too much. Guess I will try to cut it out again so my mind can focus on recovery.
  4. I get migraines since 2005, not all the time but often enough. Have been wondering if there is a correlation to my weird reaction to psilocybin. However this dreadful feeling and migrain headaches don't really appear simultaneously and I didn't get this feeling before I took mushrooms.
  5. Lion's Mane made me feel temporarily worse. I might try it again someday with a lower dosage or with a different brand.
  6. Yes kind of, I sometimes use the term "nihilistic" trying to describe it. It might appear just like a combination of derealization and depression but I feel like it's "deeper" than just that. I don't really feel it on a such a strong physical level anymore but correlating thought patterns still occur. However I'm optimistic this will dissipate over time.
  7. I also get feelings of dread but it's more of a feeling like everything is pointless and meaningless and featureless. It's a feeling of being incapable of feeling joy and like the world is just flat and dead. I also used to feel this strongly on a physical level, I could feel the dread in my head and this is also connected to my bad mushroom trip. I read about Stanislav Grof's Perinatal Matrices and what he described as Matrix II resembles these feelings well. I also got feelings of like having an abyss in my head or a hole which sucks up my brain/ mind, kind of. Yikes.
  8. Got much better in ten months but has not resolved yet. I consume alcohol and caffeine again, it doesn't affect my symptoms a lot anymore.
  9. Relapses are part of recovery. You have different kinds of stress going on right now, I'm pretty sure your symptoms will diminish when the stress does.
  10. Nice
  11. Will have an MRI tomorrow. Also an EEG and a VEP screening in a couple of weeks. I am curious if any of these procedures will show something.
  12. This symptom is still gone but I think about this a lot. How it is possible to feel the influence of a drug long after one quit taking it. Is it because the memory of the experience left a huge imprint on the mind? Flashbacks are one thing but some HPPDers say they are feeling drugged 24/7 (like Jay) and this really puzzles me because this does not seem to be like regular DP/DR. I really hope this will be properly researched one day,
  13. Sounds like derealization. From what is gathered from various websites, it goes away after a while for most people. But it can take some months or years.
  14. Like me, you experienced some traumatic experience from a bad mushroom trip. My trip was close to nine months ago and I already improved a lot though I still have a long way to go I guess. Looks you are already doing everything right. Keep it up, be patient and someday you won't be a part of this community anymore. Maybe seek a therapist, it can help a lot.
  15. I considered trying Kratom but I am not sure because someone on this site told how Kratom made his symptoms skyrocket long-term. Maybe it was laced with something else, dunno.