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About Zaantharsok

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  1. I also have severe fatigue. I have never smoke weed, never used drugs, even never drunk alcohol... But have a lot of symptoms, you can see my last post in my topic. I also have derealization/depression and others...
  2. I will have thiamine cocarboxylase and benfothiamine in the next week. This is med for PD, when it help me I will scare that I have PD... I have no idea how to get this med in my country, only thing that can be get from psychiatrsit in my country is SSRI, so seems that I will have problem with that. As I said above, there are no doctors who will not say: "You have only depression" or "its just on your mind" Maybe you have right in this statement but problem is with getting these meds. In my opinion I have deficit of few neurotransmitters, not only one. Why? Because I have had problem with vision since childhood but my frame of mind was good, sometimes great, now I have another problems. In eye are 2 neurotransmitters : dopamine and acetylocholine. I also have symptoms of both deficit. I also looks like have GABA deficit because anxiety and restlessness. I have conclusion about one thing. You said that my addiction is only "habit". I do not agree with this. Habit is for example which hand you brush your teeth, when you try use second hand you will be fine and not feel bad. But addiction differs of habit in that when you try to stop you have abstynence symptoms. I cant withstand without this 2 days without new symptoms... But when I do this I feel too much better every one day. When I had tried kick this , over few days I had was depressed, had had a lot of symptoms like heavy restlessness, insomnia , obsesive thinking about this, but when I withstended more I felt excellently, I had a lot of energy, motivation, I woke up with feel of rest. In my opinion it cause imbalance of neurotransmission. There is a theory that agree with me in this. A lot of people get benefits when stop compulsive masturbation. I found a doctor's who agree with this theory website, maybe at first glance it looks strange but when you you learn about some of the content you will know it that much of this informations are not imaginary, there are also links to pubmeds researches which are based on this theory. Here is example: If this theory is true we have an explantation why before I did this first time I was happy, energetic, motivated, but since then over the few years of 2-4 per day masturbations and sometimes one of them lasted even 3 hours, I have been apathetic, anxious etc. Yust think about it seriusly and see connection. When I dont masturbate for few days I feel better, when I do it 4 times for few days, my derealization, anxiety, brain fog, and especially fatigue and tiredness are really more stronger. In my opinion masturbation in combination with porn is the same narcotic the same action like heroin, but maybe weaker. It also changes the same neurotransmitters in brain chemistry like increse dopamine level for a while. Can you told me what have where your the worst symptoms? My are severe 24/7 derealization, weird dizziness, tennsion in eyes, head and neck muscles, before accident I didnt had these problems with tennsion, 24/7 brain fog, forgetfulness, anxiety, weird fatigue and somnolence and feeling like "stoned", very, very weird feeling. I dont know how to explain that... I feeling weird with same derealization but with visual, both create stoned feeling, exactly I was on LSD or something. I also have brusism that can cause symptoms like tennsion headaches and dizziness. And my favorite symptom: lucid dreams, sleep paralisis with something like hallucinations, How it works: The best hour to experience this is wake up at 3-5 am and come sleep again. It works almost always. Then I have this: I feel like I dont sleep but I'm in dream, I still in my bedroom and see reality but this reality is changed, there are strange things like moving items, people, sounds, dialogues, I hear talk like this: "-It is possible to be cow? -No, no you can not be creative like mountains". When I wake up all these changes disapear immediately. It is really strange, wierd and frightening... You said that some people recovered when not drug used. Anxiety and stress and masturbation make my symptoms worse. Maybe when I stop this all, I will recover, maybe not completely but significantly. It is very hard for me to dont feel stress and anxiety when I am in school, but I will have free days in next week, so maybe I will try... About masturbation it also will be very hard but if I found occupation and rejected obsessive thinking about it, would be able to survive additional symptoms of abstinence. And... There is one thing yet. When I had was in hospital 3 years ago, I had taken fenantyl because I had operation. After this about three months I felt like stoned, and had panic attacks and anxiety. It went away and never returned until now. So... I have taken drug but not for my wish . Regrads
  3. Why go to psychiatrist? In my opinion they know nothing about my weird disorder. If I went to psychiatrist he probably would give me SSRI for "depression". This is not good idea. "Symptoms similar to those of HPPD appear in a lot of mental diseases. " OK, so when can I check list od these diseases? I dont have schizophrenia and something similar. In schizo symptoms have continously worsen, in my case they are still same or a lit worse when I stressed. I also dont have "positive" symptoms of this disease. In my opinion my case is very specific. My mum told me that my childbirth was very hard and after several hours I was born with convulsions and blue skin. That was propably hypoxia, infection or something, I had had a biopsy and few other tests before they brought me to her. When I was 1-3 years old I could not sleep more than 5 hours per day, when normal kids sleep a lot. Later I remember that I had had problems with anxiety in dark rooms and weird phobias like fear of lamps which used to look like monsters in my perception , fear of my vision etc,. But in days I had not too much problems, I was only a little too busy and had learing problems, espiecially in math. My state has worsen when since I was sick for mononukleosis. Before I had mild problems but they not bothered me a lot. "Don't delude yourself into thinking that you will solve whatever is happening to your brain by randomly trying supplements and reading medical journals. " Sorry but its only way to recover. Doctors say that I'am healthy and have neurosis... They know nothing important in my case. My plan is to do PET scan and MRI of spine (physioterapy helping me with tennsion in neck and terapeutist advised me to do this scan because my muscle trailers in neck are still in tennsion), which probably will be with wrong results. And only then I will go to doctors. Then they will not ignore me. I also will try tiamine but cant do this now. So I asking again: The med named "Piracetam" can be helpfull? Good luck to you too! Regrads
  4. It is good compare with this plane crash. I didnt wrote about that I was found product but translation of "cocarboxylase" . When I went yestarday to pharmacy and ask about active form of tiamine, received the answer: There is only this: (I know that you dont know polish but you can translate content of this website.) She said that there is not Thiamine pyrophosphate but there is benfotiamin from which created Thiamine pyrophosphate. Try this one? The med named "Piracetam" can be helpfull?
  5. Och nice I have found this tiamine version in polish. This is Pirofosforan tiaminy (Thiamine pyrophosphate). I've found also this information : And now look at this: I also read that antibiotics and heart drugs can cause Thiamine deficit. I took both of this, because I have hypertrophy of the right heart ventricle and also had infections. But the solution cant be that simple, here is must be a something else.
  6. I'm too afraid to taking some meds, especially when in my opinion these meds are not cure, bring relief but not repair the cause. For example when you have got a deficit of Witamin X what causes problem, you dont cure this by taking meds which just deceive your brain that you have much this witamin than in reality. This is how works SSRI for exapmle. SSRI have never cured depression but only suppres symptoms of this disorder. For now I will try supplements like this tiamine. I live in Poland. I cant translate "cocarboxylase" so cant check if I can buy it in my country. Heh... Really vision symptoms dont bother me a lot as another symptoms like "feeling like stoned", head pressure, eyes pain (oppression), stupor and something similar to vertigo but I dont know how I can explain this feeling. When I now exactly thinking about my whole life, I have had always "weird feeling" like mild derealisation or something similar. I remember when I was in kindergarten and I was feeling "weird" like in dream or like stoned, but it was just mild version of this what I feeling now. Yea, I'm really motivated to recover, it is my dream now. I dream about it even when I sleeping. I dont know how but I have assimilated a lot of knowledge about diffrent vitamins, disorders, medical facts, supplements within just seven months, I know more than 99% of my peers in my age which I know but I still dump... I can remember a lot of informations, but do simple mistakes like forget insert letters, forget and deceive some words and have other annoying symptoms that makes me dump like. "Often people get better without taking anything ... just time and 'healthy' living." This statement interested me a lot. Can you give me links to any people in this forum or other which accomplished this? In these cases all symptoms completely gone? PS: This isn't sleep paralysis because I had this, and it was something diffrent than this current ailment. I am not conscious when my eyes are open, I wake up with opened eyes. Also when I try sleep they automatically open without my conscious decision. Regrads
  7. As you propably know PET-CT scans shows hypermetabolism in the right lingual gyrus and left cerebellar anterior lobe with people suffering for VS. Thats why I plain to do it. I have a lot of symptoms of this Dysautonomia inluding palpitations, vertigo , headache. I had test of katecholamines and Holter test in Hospital and results were good. I will try tiamine but now I have forms: thiamine nitrate and thiamine mononitrate. I dont know if I can buy other forms in my country. I know that chronic masturbation is "only" habit. But dopamine what is realase during this act can affect on brain. I saw a researches about this. You said that many HPPDers recover completely in time. I fear about that all symptoms will be persist. I have suffered for VS since birth, maybe now its get worse and this changes are irreversible. I take a lot of supplements but not meds. I will be grateful to you when you prepare a list for me what supplements and meds can help me. I think you have a lot of experience with HPPD and maybe you know which meds/supples except thiamine can be helpfull. I can try everything but I MUST recover.
  8. Thanks for your reply! Maybe I will take this vitamin in this form, maybe it will help. "suggestive of another disorder in the nervous system that needs medical attention." Autism is a nervous system disorder? Psychiatrist said that I have or had in childhood a lot of symptoms of high-functioning autism, asperger syndrome, the orphan disease, Multiple-complex Developmental Disorder, sensory integration dysfunction... I'm really special case... Ok I have never used drugs, drunk alcohol, smoke itd. but I am not holy, I have an addiction of masturbation. I did this first time when I was 10 years old, and can do this more than 3 times per day and cant stop. Its too affect on brain . You know... dopamine etc. Some scientists compare this addiction to heroine addiction... Maybe synergy of high mental and physical stress , all this problems with autism spectrum and chronic overmasturbation, ruined my brain? I have had bad resistance for stress since I can remember. Problems with test in school, long trips etc... Och man... In my country doctors suggest nothing else like depression or neurosis. Only maybe 2 of them were interested by my case. Now I try to convince my neuroophthalmologist to do PET-CT. She said that maybe we will do this but now I must do VEP test, and when it will be fine she will "think about this". Hmm... so the common cause of HPPD like disorders isn't known yet, bad... too bad... In my opinion this is nothing else than damaged receptors in brain. As a result of this in several parts of brain some neurotransmiters are in insufficient amount, like acetylocholine or something. There are peaople whom their symptoms COMPLETELY gone? Regrads Norpertuz
  9. Hi everyone! I'm 17 years old and my life is totaly ruined. I must deal with a lot of symptoms of drug user. But I have really never used drugs. I havent drunk alcohol, coffe and smoke... My diet always was really good and always I was almost healthy, but only almost, because since I was a child seen 24/7 visual snow and afterimages and thought it was normal. About 1,5 year ago I sick for mononukleosis and after this I felt fatiuge, depression, derealization and incresed VS and afterimages. I and doctors thinks its only my psyche and I must rest. I forgive about this symptoms and its decrease, I thought that I back to normality. But my life was totaly ruined in day when my brother had an accident, where I was participant. I almost fainted with fear, after this event I got really annoying symptoms. Exists starts be impossible. Half of this symptoms was only neurosis and were gone, but half stay with me to today. My symptoms: VS (much than after), severe afterimages, random shapes, closed eye hallucinations, severe derealization, headache and head pressure, neck pain , sometimes heart pain ,rare panic attacks, fatigue , weird aliment with my pupils: they pulsate and still expand and shrink, lightphobia and eyes pain, dry eye syndrome because I sleep with open eyes (after accident I did not have it), serious cognitive problems, problem with maths, memory, concetration, realistic and weird crazy dreams. I still feeling like as I pass out, this fatigue and mental problems makes my life messed out. My life was hell, now It is a bit better but still wrong. Symptms that bother me a lot are: ghosting, cognitive problems, derealization, afterimages and random shapes, headaches and head pressure (i feel like my head exploding), neck pain. I done a lot of medical test include blood tests, MRI of head and really a lot of tests... , all was normal, i have only "change" in my thyroid but I'm under endocrinologist care. I tried a lot of supplements like choline, oil fish, urydyne, B complex, all A-Z witamins... Its only bit better... It is possible to have HPPD without drug use? I really frustrated, cant life normally and still feel pain and this weird symptoms. What can I do with this shit? It is possible to back to normal state? Sorry for my english but it is not my main language. Norpertuz