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Purps

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Everything posted by Purps

  1. Omg! I have to try to remember that username!
  2. I've gone in they're on several occasions. Same story. Very annoying! Where is everyone???
  3. I take 5HTP as a supplement. It helps me with my mood and sleep, but everyone is different. What works for me might be awful for you, I dunno.
  4. Some days are better than others and some are just plain scary! I can't tell my boss, "sorry I can't drive, I'm seeing shit." but I don't want to wreck someone's car or even get in an accident with someone in the car with me. I'm feeling stuck cuz I make way too much for what I do, I'd rather not quit.
  5. Wow! That's amazing Jay! That really gives me hope! I keep trying to put a positive spin on it but it seems people in this forum don't like that. You have definitely inspired me to keep my positive outlook and pursue with my dreams and Aspirations despite this crap. Thank you SO much! Kind words are always welcomed!
  6. Yeah, I don't know if I want this public... It says anyone can view who's on there and what they post. I'm not ok with that. Sorry.
  7. I see you have started a Facebook page. So far only 2 people like this??? Where is all the support?!
  8. Yeah. I'm definitely not enjoying this. I thought I could trick myself, "what's wrong with trippin forever?" I get it now. Every aspect of my life is different and not positively. I'd like to retract my post... I don't like this at all and I'm not touching drugs!
  9. My HPPD started recently, but I've always had a mild form of it. I remember from a very young age telling my mom I saw people's "angels" (I was raised Catholic so that's what I thought). Not Catholic now, but I was seeing halos and VS as early as the age of 3. This past year or so I really got into LSD and mushrooms. That's when the HPPD hit be head on. I dropped over a dozen times but it wasn't until my first bad trip that the HPPD stuck. For about 3 weeks I had panic attacks every day, suicidal thoughts, and more. I was desperate for, answers for help, our at least some understanding. Then I found this place. It's been very helpful knowing that there are others who know what I'm going through! I felt so alone! Some days are better than others but I still really sruggle. I find myself more and more withdrawing from people and activities I once enjoyed. It feels like my life is slipping away, who I was, what I thought defined me, my passions and zest for life has drastically dulled. Just taking it one day at a time, I suppose it's all I can really do.
  10. So I work for a mechanic. I answer phones, do book work, cashiering and picking up parts and customers. They also have me drive client's vehicles regularly. Now, as we all know, I can't see straight. Driving is difficult even during the day. What should I do or say? Am I at risk legally??? I'm sure one of you wouldn't want me test driving your jag or BMW (both of which I have), would you?
  11. I guess I'm just hoping it will get better or it go away eventually even though I already know the answer. Looking for some comfort, understanding, and kindness I guess, because the people around me can't offer any. I thought you guys could relate. I dunno... ????
  12. Thank you so much for putting forth so much effort! As a new comer here, this is motivating! Let's keep fighting!
  13. It seems I have all of the visuals you have mentioned, not quite the same distortion when I look through glass though. The best thing I've found to help with anxiety from the visuals is to just accept it and roll with it. The more you fight it and freak out, the worse your anxiety gets. That is at least my experience.
  14. Ah... It's so strange! Things I did in the morning, later in the day can feel like I did them yesterday or even a few days ago. It's very hard to explain to others because it is VERY noticeable. What do you say?
  15. Hmm.... I'm really trying to stay positive about all of this. The way my family and friends are acting is fucked up, yes, but I come here for support and advice. Hearing shit like my life is going to bee fucked up forever just makes me feel hopeless. Anyone with something positive to say?
  16. Both my patents and bf know about this site. He actually was the one that showed it to me! I've asked them to do some reading about it but they blow me off. It really hurts cuz I'm dealing with a lot and it's like they don't care. My mother even said, "we're sick of the drama"
  17. Lol! I've thought about it! I would not wish this on anyone though.
  18. It's so frustrating. My bf is the one that told me about it and he doesn't get it at all either! He thinks with meditation I can overcome it. I was like, "dude, I close my eyes and see shit, that makes it even worse." How do you get people to understand or at least have some compassion??
  19. Yup. Try diffusing lavender oil or vetiver oil (I'm a Dottera rep). Both help calm and relax you. I also use sleepy time tea (available at most drug stores) or a salt soak bath...
  20. Yeah, I will admit that I'm definitely tempted, but I don't want to play with fire. I just don't like being so unhappy and irritable all the time.
  21. Wow, I can understand why you guys are acting the way you are, but this site is meant to help people. I'd say dude, read some other posts and see how bad it can truly get. It's horrific and debilitating for people so by you calling it a gift could perhaps upset quote a few people.
  22. From what I've been reading in the forums and your response, I've decided to take your advice. It has been getting noticeably worse even though I stopped for a bit, but I figured it would be manageable. Apparently it can still progress even if I leave Lucy alone. I'm sorry for what everyone is going through, I never meant to offend anyone.
  23. This happens to me rather often but I work somewhere in which the building echoes pretty bad. I'm there at night, lights off and alone for a couple hours. It can get really bad to the point where I'm thinking about finding something else. Out paid really well though and I don't think anyone knows. I've also heard what I can only describe as a digital filter on my hearing. Like when neo gets sucked out of the matrix....
  24. I find the hardest part is being so misunderstood. I've accepted my new reality but it seems like everyone around me is more critical of my behavior and they think I can just snap it of it. I get so lonely at those times, like today. Thank the cosmos for this website!
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