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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Nashfull last won the day on August 7 2019

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  1. Hey Allen, First off, Congrats on the little one on the way buddy! As a father of two little ones I just wanted to assure you that In no way will HPPD determine the type of parent you are. I enjoy every second with my girls and they adore me. Now it may take me a little longer to read them bedtime stories with the text vibrating and all but they just think daddy is a slow reader lol. Best of luck with the meds, I unfortunately have never had any luck with them. I have a great career in the medical field and a wonderful family. HPPD sucks but I learned a while ago it doesn’t have to dictate your life.
  2. Perfect explanation, same goes with trying different medications to. This is what happened to me as well. Didn't realize how much the ssri was effecting my symptoms due to the kpin I was taking along with it. I remember when I first posted on this site I thought klonopin/Celexa was a cure, boy was I wrong. You gave me some suggestions on benzo use etc. which really made me rethink my approach. I thank you for that. At first I was kinda bummed but you were definitely right. Now I think what would my symptoms be like if I would have continued the daily kpin/Celexa mix and then hit tolerance. I'm still learning how to deal with this and have real shitty days where all I want to do is take a benzo (which I do on occasions) but I take it a day at a time and fight it piece by piece. I now know what my previous baseline was and hopefully I can get back there one day. Take care man.
  3. Trip i don't think that the individuals on this board who offer you advice or warn you of the possible negative outcomes of continuing to smoke weed/do drugs are jealous. Many have been where you are and just don't want you to make the same mistakes as they did. I know it sounds cliche but it's probably true. Also this is a condition that's still in its infancy as far as medical research/studies, possible precipitates, and treatments are concerned. So please don't give into the false assumption that you may never get hppd again. I don't mean to sound harsh or demeaning but its true. I had mild hppd for a few years not even knowing what it was but I beat it. I never touched another illicit substance for 16 years besides the occasional alcoholic beverage now and again. Yet it was Celexa (an ssri) and a very brief period of extreme stress that brought on these strange visual disturbances again (worse than before). Now I'm in my 30's with a wife and kids while having to fight this again due to the fact that I was young once and just experimented a few times with lsd. I'm not trying to lecture you but just be careful man.
  4. Hey thanks for the reply.
  5. And............cricketts...............lol
  6. And............cricketts...............lol
  7. So I actually posted back in September somewhat of an intro talking about my klonopin/Celexa experience. I'll try to keep from boring you guys with a long story but just wanted some opinions on what exactly is going on with me. So when I was 15 I did lsd like twice. Never a lot but I was young and experimental. Probably a week or two after my last trip I smoke some weed and had an intense dp/dr episode with panic attack. Actually went to hospital cause I thought I was dying. The dp was so intense I literally felt like I was outside of my body looking down from above (it was weird shit) thankfully that went away in a few hours once the high wore off. This was my first experience with anxiety other than when I was tripping on lsd. So in the next few weeks after the smoking episode I slowly developed an anxiety disorder. Now at the time I had no idea what the hell anxiety was etc. I also began to see my first floaters, bfep, trails in peripheral vision and ghosting. Actually had Mri to rule out MS due to the ghosting. I also remember if I stared at something like a poster in certain lighting I could almost create visuals similar to oneson lsd (really had to stare and work on it to make this happen) basically i just shrugged these visual phenomenon off and figured it was just all due to my anxiety. Over time maybe 2-3 years my anxiety got better and I didn't notice the "visuals too much" only the floaters and enhanced bfep hung around. I went to nursing school graduated with almost 4.0 and led a pretty normal life. I'm now 33 with a couple kids and a beautiful wife. I work in an icu at a very well known hospital. So about 6 months ago went through a very stressful time (had a health scare) that caused my anxiety to resurface with a vengeance. Had insomnia for a couple weeks which led me to see my pcp who prescribed me Celexa. Started the Celexa (still didn't sleep). I was outside cutting my yard about a week after taking Celexa and looked at the siding of my house and the horizontal lines in between each piece was shimmering, I was like wtf is that? I walked up to it and it looked like it was moving up and down (very lsd like). I shrugged it off to some side effects from the med. that same night I drove to the store and I remember noticing halos around street lights and starburst from oncoming cars (never had this shit before). So I went home and sat down on my bed with my wife and I had what I think was my first lsd flashback, lasted only 10 secs or so but it freaked me out. So I went to mr Google and eventually found myself here. When I found out about hppd after all these years my anxiety went through the roof and I had what would be equivalent to a nervous breakdown. Went to doc Later in the week cause I still wasn't sleeping/eating and told him what I was experiencing he shrugged it off and wrote me for some klonopin for sleep. Took my 1st 1 mg pill that night and it was amazing my vision was clearer than it had been in years (actually wrote about this in my other post awhile back). So actually stayed on the Celexa for like 9weeks cause I thought it may have been just my anxiety causing all theses issues. However the Celexa caused nothing but increased anxiety and palinopsia that was actually masked by the kpins for a few weeks and I didn't realize how screwed up my vision was getting. Eventually went to neuro opthamologist who diagnosed me with palinopsia and when I mentioned hppd looked at me like I was crazy. I'm seeing a psych now and a good neurologist who is working with me. My symptoms include floaters, enhanced bfep, major anxiety, Cevs, halos, starburst, slight trailing ( the further away the object is the worse it trails/ghosts, if I stare at a blank wall with slight texturing in certain lighting it will begin to like swirl, objects/things seem brighter, patterns especially ones with horizontal lines look like that are shimmering/buzzing. Probably I'm forgetting some things but this post is becoming a lot longer than I thought lol. So what do you guys think is this some sort of hppd relapse? I know this probably seems mild in comparison to some of the posts I've read but regardless it's very troublesome to me and I'm just trying to figure out what could be going on. I'm currently on keppra 1000mg for like 2 months to try and suppress the palinopsia/visual snow. Didn't think I had visual snow but with keppra as with the occasional klonopin things seem clearer and black seems blacker (if that makes sense) for example I can see the stars in the black sky clearer than before. Thanks in advance.
  8. Jay I've had a few neurofeed back sessions here in the US so far and it's amazing man. I haven't had a qEEG due to the fact there pretty expensive. The sessions themselves are expensive but worth it man. I'm doing my 5th session tomorrow and I can already tell a huge difference. I always end my sessions where my practitioner places the electrodes over the calming area of my brain and I swear I feel like I took a klonopin when i leave it's awesome. I started the neurofeed back along with nutrient therapy after my Celexa/klonopin combo didn't work out so well. Celexa totally made me worse and I'm trying to get totally off the benzos now. Down to .5mg a night for sleep from 1 mg already. This is amazing stuff and it blew my mind the first session I had. Hell if they will ship a device over here I'll do it. Also I know epigenetics have been brought up on this forum before but I truly believe that this stuff is groundbreaking in the future of recovery. Finding out your methylation status over/under I believe is key when considering meds such as ssri for treatment. My experience with ssri have been horrible however some folks have had success on them. If I had known that I was an overmethylator (high in Seratonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine) I would have never taken an ssri which totally was a setback for me. Now I see a psychiatrist versed in nutrient therapy who has me on a vitamin/diet protocol and I can feel myself slowly coming back. I know I totally went on a rant in this reply but my short answer is neurofeedback is very promising and has been doing wonders for me. Best of luck man.
  9. Celexa20mg with 1mg klonopin. Backstory I was 16 yrs old when I first went to a rave and dropped acid can't remember how much but I ate a few cubes. Noticed no symptoms after that however my second experience with lsd was taking only half a gell tab stayed up all night having a horrible semi trip. Few weeks after that smoked weed and had a severe panic attack that landed me in the ER. Since then over a matter of weeks I noticed floaters/ blue ectopic phenomenon. Few weeks later I noticed the slight trails and ghosting images. I never really knew if this was 100 percent from drug use or just a fluke or something like maybe I was more aware. I don't remember when I noticed the transparent visual snow on bare light colored walls and such but I just thought that I had bad vision. I went and had Mri done to rule out ms and from that point on just thought that it was bad vision. I was never really knowledgable about drugs just and kid having fun with friends. Now flash forward sixteen years I'm now 32 with a family and a career as an icu nurse. I recently had a health scare which sent me to google. I started to type in all the visual symptoms I have had over the years and boom Hppd popped up I immediately read it and went into a full panick attack I don't know why it hit me so hard I've lived with these symptoms for so long that I don't know why I took it so hard. I stopped eating became extremely nervous, had insomnia and felt like my visual worsened. Lost 12 lbs in two weeks did not sleep for almost 2 weeks I had almost PTSD at night when trying to sleeps almost relieving my last trip. I went to my pcp told him of my insomnia/ anxiety and he put me on celexa 20mg. I took it for a week still couldn't sleep and visuals were still full blown. I went back today after failed attempts with ambien and finally had him prescribe me klonopin1mg. I took my celexa and my first dose of klonopin and 30 minutes later my visuals were just about gone. I can see in the dark without all the snow I can distinctively make out corners, door frames don't seem to move in and out, I can see texture on white walls, the ghosting/halo is gone, no trails, my depth perception is intact I literally walked around the house we bought 3 yrs ago and it was like seeing it for the first time. I hope this helps someone I never posted on here because I was in denial of my symptoms. And even before tonight I lived a good life with a great career and two beautiful girls. 16 years living with Hppd and didn't know what it was called and for the first time tonight I see clearly. I can't describe it was so quick after taking the klonopin.
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