K.B.Fante

I think there's a cure, it's just a matter or where it exists and when it will be discovered. Who knows, it might already have been discovered. With how much emphasis there is on brain research these days I wouldn't be surprised if it's sooner than most expect. Some of the stories Stamets tells in the interview above are just mind blowing. He's talking about totally curing chronic stuttering, hearing loss and other brain disorders by even a single serving of psilocybin mushrooms. Obviously that doesn't seem like a great idea for us, but perhaps there's something to it. Again, I think a huge problem is that many of the drugs we've taken to end up with HPPD are extremely low quality and likely entirely removed from how they'd be found in the wild. I imagine the sorts of mushrooms Stamets takes are vastly different in makeup and effects.

Here's a great article about Lion's Mane and neurogenesis: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-stamets/mushroom-memory_b_1725583.html

Sounds like there's quite a bit. The above interview is pretty enlightening in this regard. I know Lion's Mane and Reishi fall under this category and have been utilized by members of this community. Cordyceps, Chaga and Turkey Tail are also pretty popular. The product I link to above has most of these, including cacao and cinnamon which in small doses are great for the brain as well. As I mentioned, I've felt really good on this mix despite being basically allergic to caffeine due to HPPD. I think being able to control the dose, given it comes in powder form, has been beneficial with regards to symptoms. The real kicker in neurogenesis, and the irony given our situation, is psilocybin. This is the compound that apparently has the potential to spur growth of new neurons in the limbic system, especially with regards to 5-HT2A receptors, both of which are areas suspected of being faulty in HPPD. Although I'm never going to do drugs again I'm starting to come around to the idea that a large reason many of us are where we are is not entirely due to the drugs themselves (although in many cases, such as mine, that's certainly a large aspect of it), but rather the amount of the drugs we took or the amount of anxiety we had during or before the drug that paved the way for HPPD. This is why I don't think I'm entirely opposed to some members of the HPPD community attempting to explore psilocybin in microdoses under the supervision of medical professionals if all other options in coping with HPPD have been exhausted. If the mushrooms are pure and well taken care of, grown under proper organic circumstances and administered in such small doses as to not cause additional damage, I think it's certainly something to consider. We've all read stories here and on other sites about people who've taken additional psychedelics that have "cured" them. I've always been dubious about these reports, but perhaps there's some validity to what they're experiencing.

Telling your family is entirely up to you and should be a decision you make based on how comfortable you feel. My HPPD was so bad I couldn't try and pretend I was OK and my parents would have known no matter what, so I had no choice. My family is also very open so I told them right away anyhow. It was much more difficult telling my friends and of course I still haven't told distant family members. If you feel there could be backlash then it might not be a good idea, however this is a very very serious and debilitating condition so your parents should probably know at some point if you deem it acceptable. Perhaps showing them this forum or some YouTube videos would help them understand. I never read any books about meditation though I'm sure there are many great ones out there. I just googled "how to meditate" and watched some YouTube videos and then practiced it and haven't looked back. There's definitely some key things you should know but not that many so it won't take long to understand. In my experience the HPPD brain is highly sensitive so even good things in large doses can cause problems and exacerbate visual symptoms. This is why you should take very small doses of whatever you're trying, even stuff that works well. Many supplements will cause more harm than good though, so you should be aware of side effects. Also, I'd avoid buying supplements that include more than a few ingredients as there will likely be one that you won't be able to handle. I can't tell you how many supplements I bought where I liked one ingredient but there were other included that made my symptoms worse. Stay away from any sort of stimulant too and don't take too many at the same time. Your best bet is to find a few that work and just stick with them. Honestly, I don't think drinking or doing drugs of any kind is advisable while coping with HPPD. If you could somehow manage a glass of red wine a few times per month I don't see how that would hurt, however that's usually not how drinking works, especially for youngsters. Drinking one beer at a bar often leads to another, which leads to another, and before you know it you've had more than you can handle and your judgement is impaired and then you could end up doing drugs that make your HPPD even worse. Perhaps some people would disagree but I think staying away from drugs of all kinds is your best bet. I had plenty of fun without them but I know it's more difficult the younger you are.

This reminds me: Hiking and spending time outdoors has been probably the single best hobby I've had in coping with HPPD. I've always loved hiking and though it's been more difficult with HPPD Iv'e also never felt worse after hiking than when I set off. There's new science coming to light that says spending time in nature can lift depression and relieve other internal stressors which of course nearly everyone with HPPD has in some form or another. Getting into photography goes hand in hand and can keep you focused while you're hiking as well.

Like I said, I've been there and so have many on this forum. In it's severe forms this condition can be absolutely excruciating to cope with on a daily basis. There was a time for about six months in the first year I got HPPD where everything negative in my life came together at the same time and I got very close to ending my own life, but it was then that I realized I hadn't tried everything and that there had to be a solution somewhere to my problem, which I found in natural health. The body is made to regenerate, it's just a matter of giving your body what it needs and staying away from drugs in order to prevent further damage. B-vitamins, turmeric, magnesium (taurate is the best for HPPD), passionflower and fish oil (high in DHA) were the supplements that helped me most. They are all beneficial for the body and brain as well. Aside from eating healthy, exercising regularly, meditating, seeing a therapist and all the other standard HPPD healing methods, I think staying busy and setting goals for the future is probably the best thing you can do. The more time you have on your hands the more you'll think about HPPD, the more you'll get depressed and anxious, the more you'll lose hope and so on. HPPD can be dealt with even for life, as Jay well knows, but it takes tremendous will power to accept your condition and keep your life moving so that you don't get into your own head. I've had HPPD for 2.5 years now and am better every day, although I've accepted this will still take years before I'm fully recovered. This condition is slow moving and you have to keep this in mind on a daily basis. You can't think this is going to turn around tomorrow or the next day or the next. You have to start thinking in months and years, and though it's depressing it's also the truth and will help you out in the long run. I think meds are OK in certain circumstances and it sounds like you are in one of those. If you're really unstable and thinking about suicide then you should definitely think about taking meds, I just don't know which ones. Jay could probably help you out in this regard.

I don't know why but lately I've been running into all kinds of info on the benefits of mushrooms, then today I heard this podcast which kinda blew my mind: Additionally, I recently bought some mushroom tea on a trip into the desert and I've actually felt really good on it even though it has small amounts of caffeine due to the chocolate inside. Here's the link: http://mushroommama.com/mushroommama-chocolate-chaga-tea/ There are other mushroom teas you can buy from the same lady and judging by the one I bought I'd recommend trying some. I'm pretty sure most of the mushrooms in her teas have neurogenesis-promoting properties which might be why I've felt so good on them. Anyway, it's pretty clear mushrooms can have some insane brain health benefits so it would be wise to incorporate them into your diet in some way or another.

I've been there many times. I can't tell you how bad my HPPD was even a year and a half ago. I came very close to suicide after fantasizing about it every day for months on end. I truly cannot describe the hell I went through. What turned things around for me was realizing what made my HPPD worse. I knew I had certain days and times where it was much worse and after trial and error and endless research and contemplation I figured out that certain foods were exacerbating my symptoms quite a lot from day to day. Nightshades, heavy carb loads, caffeine, stimulants of any kinds, excess glutamate, etc., all made my symptoms worse and still do to this day. I've made many posts about diet and I would highly recommend them to anyone struggling. It might not heal you entirely but it can have a profound impact on just making it through the day. In the meantime you should really try and meditate and talk to someone about your struggles, even if it's a support group or just a family member. You just need to do whatever you can to get through this tough time because it will eventually get better.

It's way to early to think about suicide given how recently you got this. You have to give yourself time to heal first. As long as you avoid drugs, eat healthy, exercise, meditate, perhaps see a therapist and so on you'll likely be OK. This site is full of all kinds of great advice. The biggest thing is just staying away from drugs and maintaining a healthy lifestyle long enough so that your body and mind can heal. I know not drinking sucks, especially in the UK, but you should try and look at it like a new adventure and a new challenge which can only make you a better person in the long run.

In short, mostly the same thing anyone should do with serious health problems: eat whole foods, eliminate fast food, cut way down on added sugar and sugar in general, drink more water, fast here and there (as you point out), eat a balanced diet, etc. There are foods that specifically benefit brain health (turmeric, wild salmon, berries, nuts, a little dark chocolate here and there, tea, etc.) but as long as you're eating whole foods that come from the earth and not a factory you're gonna be alright. It's also important to not overdo anything. I've learned this the hard way, but essentially you can eat too much of anything and cause yourself problems. This is especially true for HPPD. In my experience aiming for a light ketogenic or paleo diet has been beneficial too, but again, following these sorts of trends religiously will only get you in trouble. They're best used as a rough guideline.

Just wanted to bump this to point something out... I've noticed recently that my eyes are moving faster. When I first got HPPD it was as if my eyes were frozen inside my head. They couldn't move hardly at all. This is of course quite unsettling considering how lightning fast our eyes are made to move when healthy. I've also noticed that my pupil dilation (and all my symptoms really), afterimages and streamers are connected to how fast I can move my eyes as well. So basically I started off with blown pupils where my eyes could hardly move at all and as time has progressed my pupils have shrunk which corresponds to an increased ability to move my eyes a certain speed as well as a decrease in the length and duration of afterimages. Clearly this all ties to some sort of nerve inside my brain, likely the optical nerve or oculomotor nerve or whatever else controls eye movement. This of course doesn't explain HPPD entirely since many symptoms aren't visually related (tinnitus, brain fog, etc.), however I can at least pinpoint a visual aspect of HPPD that seems to be a big aspect of this condition.

Yeah, I didn't mean to make it sound like you were suggesting it was a cure, it's just that when I read the word "cure" I'm always a bit nervous about what follows. I've made a few posts about food since it's what I feel has helped me most thus far. Here's a few from the last half year or so: http://hppdonline.com/topic/5537-the-science-of-smarter-eating/ http://hppdonline.com/topic/5431-nightshades/ http://hppdonline.com/topic/5453-glutamate/ http://hppdonline.com/topic/5344-a-routine-thats-helping-for-newcomers-especially/

Ah, the naive days of being a college freshman, how I long for thee... Some people can operate on less sleep than others but in general anything less than six hours is simply not enough, especially for those in their teens who require upwards of nine to 10 hours per night. Sleep is when the brain repairs itself. It's also a time when new brain cells are formed. Knowing this, the simple formula "more sleep equals a healthier brain" is pretty elementary mathematics. The reason you don't do well on less sleep with HPPD is because you need more of it to heal. Ask anyone on this forum how they do on less sleep and they'll likely tell you they don't do as well as they do when they get a good night's rest. I hate to break it to you, but sleep isn't something that functions on credit. You can't miss out on it for weeks or months on end then just make up for it later on. Your body is like a battery: It runs in the daytime and needs recharged at night. The question you should be asking is not how you can function better on less sleep but rather how you can make more time in the day for more sleep at night. I know you're quite busy but trying to cheat on sleep is like trying to to force your body to take less bowel movements or drink less water or not chew your food when you eat. Some bodily processes are simply mandatory for any sort of biological organism to thrive. Sleep is one of them. Unfortunately there just aren't any exceptions when it comes to shuteye.

Thanks for posting and I hope everyone here considers some form of fasting for their overall health even if they find no immediate benefits in relation to HPPD. I'm highly skeptical of the idea that fasting alone can "cure" HPPD. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's not possible but because I'm no scientist I can't entirely rule it out. That said, fasting is a well-known agent in fostering neurogenesis. I don't know why but lately I've been coming across all sorts of articles and podcasts about the benefits of fasting and this post is of course no exception. I've done many 18-24 hour fasts over the last few years and though I've generally felt better afterwards it's quite clear they don't have the power to rapidly alter the HPPD state -- just as is the case with anything. HPPD recovery is a long, slow, arduous process that often lasts years. Though fasting of some kind should act as a tool in everyone's arsenal -- just like healthy eating, exercise, meditation, therapy, etc. -- I think it's wise not to get carried away with the idea it's going to act as a miracle cure. Eating healthy food can also be just as beneficial as fasting. Same with rigorous exercise, sleep, learning a new language and so on down the line. If there's anything I've learned over the last few years it's that there is no current cure for HPPD; however, there are many activities and natural processes by which, if repeated in a healthy manner, can drastically reduce HPPD over time and eventually heal your brain entirely. But again, these take repetitive practice day after day over the course of years. The brain has an incredible power to heal but it does not heal overnight.

There's lots of posts about sleep here. Many struggle with insomnia. I went through an intense bout after benzo withdrawal where I couldn't sleep more than about four or five hours for three months straight. It pretty much destroyed by brain. The best things I've found have been meditation, addressing whatever anxiety or substance is leading to your insomnia and then of course there are the medicinals like teas and pills that can help as well. The thing is if you don't locate the exact thing that's causing your anxiety or sleeplessness in the first place then you're not ever going to get the proper sleep you need. Eating healthy, cutting back drastically on carbs, sugars caffeine, etc., will also go a really long way to helping you feel tired at night. As far as teas and pills go, I've had tons of success with chamomile, lavender, lemon balm and some other potent sleep teas. Some magnesium at night will also help a lot. Make sure your bedroom is really dark, quiet, somewhat cold and smells good from a candle or incense or essential oil diffuser too. If you find the root cause of your insomnia and take a holistic approach to addressing your overall sleep habits you should be able to get it under control sooner rather than later.

My visual symptoms have been so bad over the last 2.5 years since getting HPPD that I literally could not ignore them no matter what. I had streamers that would last for a good second after moving objects passed in front of me. My best advice is to stay busy. Working is probably the best thing you can do. In my experience free time is just about the worst with HPPD because I immediately focus on my symptoms for whatever reason.

I really hope you stop using drugs and consider seeking help LA. You're only going to worsen your symptoms doing more drugs. Life won't get better by sniffing glue or dropping acid again. I'm not sure what you're going through but your posts have gotten increasingly worrisome. I hope for your sake you can find some help in dealing with whatever you're going through.

"Somebody should have warned me about HPPD," is why some form of public advocacy and awareness should be a top priority for this community. If I knew this was possible I never would have taken the acid that gave me this in the first place. I know exactly how you feel Danny. I've been there so many times before I can't even count. I remember closing in on Year 1 and my symptoms were still a completely nightmare every single waking moment and I pretty much broke inside and lost all hope. Well, a year and a half later I'm not fully healed but I'm on the way and life is at least enjoyable at times again. Unfortunately eight months is nothing in the scope of recovering from HPPD. This is a very long and slow process and you really have to give yourself years in order to heal. It sucks, but there's not much of an alternative. Probably the biggest thing that helped me turn the corner was eating healthy and exercising regularly in combination with meditation, therapy, staying busy and all the other good stuff.

You should check into Visual Snow Syndrome. It's the same as HPPD except those with VSS don't get it from drugs directly. Either way, we're all in the same boat. Discontinue drug use, live a healthy lifestyle and you should see improvements eventually.

Welcome. I know that feeling as I had it with DP-DR when I first discovered that was a real condition. It's quite a liberating feeling and at the same time comforting to know you're not alone. There's all sorts of great information on this site so I'd encourage you to read up!

In my experience heightened visuals have often traced back to whatever I'm putting into my body. Since I don't do drugs this usually amounts to food. You should obviously not be doing anymore drugs but if you're ingesting caffeine or some form of stimulant then your visuals will worsen. Perhaps try and cut back on sugar, carbs, fast food, and really make an effort to eat lots of veggies and then see how your visuals are in a week or so.

1. LSD and yes I have an extensive drug history but not in the same way as others here. I've tried lots of drugs a handful of times but was never an addicted. 2. Yes, I've been to a therapist (which I highly recommend), psychiatrist, neurologist, standard MD, naturopath and so on. I've learned a lot from each and have also not been helped tremendously by anyone. This simply isn't a condition doctors or medical professionals are prepared to handle. This board contains more useful information than you'll find anywhere. 3. Many. I've tried a number of big pharma antidepressants, benzos, anti-epileptics, etc. I've also tried all sorts of natural herbs, vitamins, tonics, you name it. I'd stay away from benzos if I were you as they can mess your brain up even further, but to each his own. A combination of B vitamins, magnesium taurate and high quality fish oil (with more DHA) have been my staples for the last year and a half though I'm starting to taper off all of them for other health reasons. 4. Yes, all the time. It's not going to cure your HPPD overnight but if you make a habit of exercising frequently it can have tremendous positive affects on brain and overall health. I've never been one who's symptoms worsen after exercise so it's never bothered me in that sense. 4.5) Yes and no. Visual snow, in my case, is largely dependent on what you put in your body. Drugs make it worse. Stimulants make it worse. Many foods make it worse (nightshades, sugar, etc.), but overall it will decrease with time as other symptoms do as well. 5. If HPPD is a brain injury, as I suspect it is, then recovery aligns with other brain injuries and often takes years. Some people with minor HPPD seem to recover within a year or two but there are many stories on this site of people who take upwards of five years to recover in severe cases even without continuing drug use. I had very severe HPPD so I tend to align more with the latter category of sufferers although I'm already in a very good place with my symptoms wherein they don't bother me all that much day to day.

I actually think school can be beneficial with HPPD but only if you feel comfortable where you're at and can handle it. One of the best ways to cope with HPPD is through distraction or anything that keeps your attention focused intensely on something other than your symptoms and study is certainly one of those. Again, each person is different but if I were you I'd try and focus on getting some sleep and make it a goal to do well in school. If you feel overwhelmed, no big deal. You can always take semesters off and given how well you've done in the past it sounds like you'd have no problem transferring if you needed. Just try not to make any major life-changing decisions on an emotional whim because that can tend to happen when dealing with something as ugly as HPPD. In terms of recovery, you'll find tons of advice up and down this forum. As long as you stay completely sober, get good sleep, exercise regularly, don't spend too much time seated in one place, eat healthy, meditate and so on you'll likely recover sooner rather than later. However, the one thing I always tell people is to be prepared to have HPPD for longer than you might think or want. I never thought in a million years I'd have it for longer than a few years but I'm already at 2.5 years and still have a long road to go. As long as you live a healthy lifestyle you'll likely recover but you just need to be prepared to deal with this condition on some level for a while.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday where someone with a brain injury was talking about how suicidal ideation is a common symptom or outcome of brain damage and I thought it was interesting given I had severe ideation through about the first year and a half of dealing with HPPD. It was also remarkable how similar her symptoms and story were to mine, which is often the case when I hear or read about brain injuries. I've long held HPPD is a brain injury but of course I can't prove it and neither can anyone here until more research is conducted, which unfortunately isn't likely anytime soon. That said, here are some similarities between common brain injury symptoms and my experience with HPPD: -- A "normal" life that abruptly changes after the occurrence of an incident resulting in complete life upheaval (state of abnormality if you will) -- Painstakingly slow recovery over the course of years following a balance of mostly rest with some mental and physical exercise (this would explain why stimulant substances and sometime even exercise often exacerbate HPPD symptoms; a damaged body needs rest, not stimulation) -- Compromised brain cell metabolism and glucose (explains brain fog head pain from sugary foods) -- Headache and head pain -- Difficulty with balance -- Blurred vision -- Visual disturbances -- Fatigue -- Changes in sensory perception (DP-DR could certainly qualify) -- Memory loss and forgetfulness -- Delayed mental processing -- Trouble speaking -- Disoriented sleep patterns -- Poor attention -- Depression and anxiety -- Light and sound sensitivity -- Nausea -- Irritability and mood changes --Inappropriate behavior -- Difficulty with reason, logic or focus -- Personality changes -- Normal MRIs As my condition has improved so have all my symptoms, however what I find striking about the list above is how many of these symptoms I had when I first got HPPD. In fact, I don't know that there's any I did not have, outside of perhaps nausea. I also never got around to taking my MRI but given the normality of those who have and the fact mild brain injuries don't show up in the scans it's also another similarity that shouldn't be overlooked. Part of the problem with identifying HPPD as a "brain injury" is that most of us have seen doctors who aren't trained in identifying subtle injuries outside the pervasive "Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)" category which is mostly defined as injuries sustained through force. However, there are other forms of brain injuries, including mild brain injuries, that break down into many different categories and classifications which could very well correlate with HPPD. The most likely I've found is what's called "toxic anoxia," which is when the brain doesn't get enough oxygen due to toxic chemical interference. According to the Honor Society of Nursing, illegal street drugs are considered culprits of toxic anoxia. Another interesting field of study involving brain injury is that of impaired cellular function and metabolism in the immediate aftermath of the sustained injury. Regardless of what exactly leads to HPPD there can be little doubt that our brains are underperforming, which could be a result of abnormal and impaired cellular metabolism -- essentially, the normal processes of healthy cellular functioning have been interrupted for whatever reason. If you're someone who takes issue with the idea of necrosis then perhaps you will be more comfortable with the idea that the cells in our brains still exist but are simply shocked and unable to perform in high-potency environments. I'm enjoying reading about this stuff so I'm going to continue to see what I can find and will post here if anything piques my interest, however I do think it's important to plant this seed and get the HPPD community open to thinking about brain injuries specifically. If we continue to maintain the attitude HPPD is a beyond our understanding simply because we don't understand it then we likely won't make any progress in getting the medical attention we deserve. I think if we can at least adopt a general acceptance of some from of brain injury it would at least help push us in the right direction medically and away from the much stigmatized psychiatric route we've often pursued. If we push the narrative that toxic drugs lead to brain injury by talking with neurologists rather than that hallucinogens unlock some form of deep-seeded emotional imbalance by seeking out psychiatrists I think we'll have more luck in at least getting some attention to be honest. I really do think the way we phrase our condition can have an affect on how soon we're treated or whether we're treated at all.

I just pushed myself too hard with exercise and injured my foot, leg and a few muscles. Then with diet I've overdone it and now have some stomach problems. I've learned a lot throughout this process but one of the most important lessons is moderation, nothing in excess, to just ease into things and don't overdo it.