Spiritual Confliction

One of the reasons you might feel a little more down on yourself is because you're eliminating a habit. If it's cigarettes that you quit smoking (I assume so cause you said you've been sober for 2 years), then that would cause you a whole new level of stress, depending how long you've been smoking. To be honest, I wouldn't expel my energy thinking about HPPD (it's just a huge waste that takes a lot more energy than letting it go), but I'd focus on cleaning up your habit cause that will take some energy and getting used to.

Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that. You're definitely right though, I do enjoy it and it is "forced," and you're certainly right that I shouldn't be fucking around as much as I used to. I'm 20 years old and won't let this small thing ruin my life lol I'll just accept it as it is and I'm sure it'll slowly fade away. If not then I'm sure I can fully enjoy my life and pursuit of my goals regardless of what I think I see.

Hello everyone! My name is Brian and let me start off by saying I'm glad to be able to join a community with people who have similiar symptoms as me and are welcoming. Now let's get on with my story: I'm no stranger to LSD, however I am far from a frequent user. Over the course of 3 years I have done LSD only 7-8 times (one of those times was definitely a research chemical though). My HPPD symptoms started to occur after my second-to-last LSD use (and I don't plan to use acid again until my symptoms wear off or until I feel I am "ready" for it again). During this trip, I both suffered and positively experienced a spiritual realization. It was one of the most enlightening and beautiful experiences I had ever felt (although at first it felt like hell because my mind was literally fighting my consciousness). It was what some might refer to as "Kundalini" (I've been a spiritual type person for about 3-4 years so I had some knowledge as to what was happening). I won't get into the details of the trip but I will now start to talk about my symptom after this trip. Whenever I stare at a wall for a decent amount of time with a considerable amount of focus, the patterns on the wall start to move the same way they would whenever I did LSD. As a person, I would definitely say I grew rather than falter, I'm more welcoming to different situations and meeting people outside of my comfort zone. I also have a profound appreciation for life that continues to grow as I do. Still, the repeated movement of wall patterns bother me. Luckily, my symptom doesn't effect me while I am working or communicating with people (although it very well might and it might not be to my knowledge). However, whenever I do see the movement: I feel a decent amount of pain in my brain/head that causes temporary headaches. Also, people and inanimate objects have a "glow" around them, although this I don't mind at all. If anyone has any information or advice then I am all ears. Glad to be on the forums.